FreeCreditReport Hires Ed McMahon To Rap In "Viral" Videos

We’re warning you now, so that you won’t bother to fall for the “you-gotta-see-this!” absurdity of an 85-year-old former talk show announcer and sweepstakes pitchman reduced to self-mockery in order to make some money. We don’t begrudge McMahon his career, but as you know we deeply begrudge “free”creditreport.com for its misleading name, commercials, promises—well, pretty much everything.

Here, courtesy of CNN, are the lyrics to the rap:

“When I retired, I was famous,” McMahon raps in the video. “I had money and glory/I bought a house for 6 mill/I thought nothing could touch me/Until my credit went south, and debt started to crunch me/Next thing I know, instead of playing gin rummy, I was scrambling just to make ends meet/It wasn’t funny.”

After being joined by two scantily clad women, McMahon continues: “Got a bump from the media chumps, but that was temporary/Wife with bad credit was scary, so I got wise/I may have fallen, but I got back up/Now I’m back on the attack, like a ninja swinging nunchucks/I told the haters, ‘Go on, take a hike’/It’s my show now, and I can do what I like.”

It will be released, presumably on sites like YouTube, in October. Watch it if you must, but remember: freecreditreport.com is a rip-off. If you want a free credit report, use annualcreditreport.com.

“Ed McMahon turns gangsta rapper” [CNN] (Thanks to Bryan!)

Comments

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  1. oh

    god

    no

    just no

  2. Coles_Law says:

    So that’s how he’s paying off his mortgage…

  3. timmus says:

    If you’re pimping yourself for a company like freecreditreport.com, you might as well be Dirk Diggler in Boogie Nights some guy service for ten bucks in the parking lot.

  4. jpdanzig says:

    If Donald Trump was the great man he claims he is, he would have bought Ed’s house at a decent price and spared us all this misery…

  5. geekgrrl77 says:

    While that sounds awful I’ll be HAPPY AS ALL GET OUT if they ditch that **really annoying** guy that currently does their gawd awful commercials. How one guy can be so totally irritating, I’m not sure, but he is like nails on a blackboard. I’ve never reached for the mute button more quickly in my life.

  6. 12-Inch Idongivafuck Sandwich says:

    I think the freecreditreport.com commercials are some of the most catchy commercial jingle’s I’ve heard in a long time…

    /would never use their service

  7. youbastid says:

    Well, this is almost as sad as seeing Willie Nelson sing about the virtues of Taco Bell. Almost.

  8. Every time I see an ad for this crap, I grasp my remote immediately. I thought commercials were supposed to make you feel good and want to actually BUY their product, not insult you for the problems you might encounter in life. This company must be willing to pay anyone that is willing to hawk their misleading BS. The American public should know better, you don’t have to go to FCR’s website to get a credit report for free.

  9. rinse says:

    f to the r to the e to the e to the c to the r to the e d i t… Ugh.

  10. humphrmi says:

    I’ll give McMahon credit, a few months ago everyone was saying “why doesn’t that guy just get a job?”, now at least he has one. Too bad he picked quite likely the worst financial services company to work for.

  11. Parting says:

    That is worst than sad.

  12. ecwis says:

    Wow freecreditreport.com is actually owned by a somewhat-legitimate company? Experian?

    Also, when I see these types of commercials, I make sure I never buy the product or service. I don’t appreciate these condescending, annoying ads.

    Do not try to gain customers by annoying the crap out of them.

  13. newfenoix says:

    Anyone that uses Freecreditreport.com is an idiot.

  14. oncebittwiceshy says:

    Instead of being misleading I found the website to be rather straightforward and self explanatory. There is absolutely nothing misleading on the page. After the customer enters the url into the browser the homepage launches featuring an image of a guitar virtuoso and the advertisement of America’s #1 free credit report. Where are the additional details and disclaimers to be found? In some extremely small illegible fonts covertly hidden in some obscure section of the page. Nope. I kid you not folks, one need only scroll their little wheel mouse once to display this information which is clearly displayed on the left hand side of page right underneath the picture. In that box it informs potential customers that they are entering into a membership agreement by requesting a report through their website. Furthermore, It clearly defines the terms as well as associated fees. Additionally, they disclose that they are not affiliated with the annual free report program. And lest someone should accuse them of misleading people into believing the report can only be retained through their service they provide the link to receive the report truly free of charge. I’m not sure how anyone can claim to have been duped given the info present.

    • @oncebittwiceshy:I think the main issue is the URL, and their wording on their commercials. If you’re entering into an agreement to pay them money as part of their requesting your free credit report for you well . . . that’s not very FREE now is it?

      The adds are duplicitous, and the website URL is also. They want to get people to their site using scare tactics, and sign them up for a service that they do not need as part of getting what is legally theirs by right, and there should be no cost (immediate or future) associated with exercising that right.

    • Mike8813 says:

      @oncebittwiceshy: The disclaimers may be plain as day for you now, but that wasn’t always the case. About 3 years ago, a class-action suit was filed against freecreditreport.com for NOT disclosing their shady 3-month obligation to (paid) services. Money was paid…

      My dumb ass got one of those checks. Somewhere around 20 bucks. It’s amazing how much more responsible I’ve gotten since then.

      • oncebittwiceshy says:

        @Mike8813: I reviewed the freecreditreport.com website from as far back as 1999. It also discloses that by requesting a report the customer enters into a membership agreement as well as disclosing the annual fee.

        “When you get your FREE online Experian credit report, you’ll also receive a FREE 30-day trial membership in the CreditCheck Monitoring Service–a service that provides you with vital information about one of your most valuable financial assets: your credit…..”

        “During this 30-day trial, you will see how important staying informed about your credit can be to your personal financial stability. And remember, you are under absolutely no obligation during the free trial period!

        “If you wish to continue your membership in the CreditCheck Monitoring Service, do nothing. Your membership will continue without interruption, and the annual $59.95 fee will be automatically charged to your credit card after your free 30-day trial membership.”

        Now granted the information is not arranged on the page quite like the current design, but there are no tiny fonts or hidden disclaimers.

        There were some years where the site design changed wherin the disclosure was not on the initial page, but was present after the click through.

  15. thewriteguy says:

    Folks, now you know the U.S. economy is totally in the shitter when Ed McMahon has to degrade himself to playing a rapping oldster for infomercials.

  16. OsiUmenyiora says:

    With McMahon’s troubles, he would tap dance in face paint for a few c-notes.

  17. Trai_Dep says:

    If Ed really wants it to go viral, he’ll wear a bustier. And little else.

  18. Elvisisdead says:

    Wow. Didn’t know they were into snuff films.

  19. adamkantor says:

    For me this calls into question anyone who ever won on Star Search…

  20. mrearly2 says:

    Pathetic.
    If only he had lived within his means.