We’re sorry, but there is no cure for cancer. The FTC is going after eleven companies that claim otherwise by selling potions, herbs, and a “systematized program of thinking good thoughts” masquerading as cures. You shouldn’t need a federal agency to tell you that the “Miracle Water for Cancer” doesn’t actually cure anything, nor does it reverse weight gain and aging. Bummer. Six of the snake oil companies agreed to settle, but five will crawl before a judge and argue that they can cure cancer. Let’s look at the list…
The six companies that won’t pretend to cure cancer anymore include:
- Ni-Gen Nutrition of Troy, Mich., which allegedly marketed an electrolyte liquid and apricot seeds as cures.
- Westberry Enterprises of Pineville, La., which the agency said sold teas that contained algae and other ingredients.
- Jim Clark’s All Natural Cancer Therapy of Louisville, Ky., which allegedly sold digestive enzymes and coral calcium as treatments.
Included among the five bullshit-spewing companies:
- Omega Supply of San Diego, which allegedly sold hydrazine sulfate, a substance classified by the government as a potential cancer-causing agent.
- Herbs for Cancer, which allegedly sold 16 types of teas to fight specific cancers, plus a 17th type for “cancers not on our list.”
They will be sued, convicted, and hopefully sentenced to cut weeds in Chernobyl.