Is This The Worst "Professional" Wedding Cake Ever?

There’s a heated debate going on over at a blog called “Cake Wrecks” about whether or not this cake can possibly be “real.” We’re feeling extremely skeptical ourselves, but the blog’s author swears up and down that the pictures came from a real (outraged) bride who really hired a member of the family who was supposed to be a “professional with tons of experience” to make her wedding cake.

From Cake Wrecks (the picture on the right is supposedly what the bride ordered):

1) The top tier still had the Springform pan under it.

2) The cake “base” is a metal sign.

3) I swear I am not making this up.

Now like you, I’m sure, I was highly skeptical about this being a “professional” cake. However, the e-mail came from the bride herself, and she seemed outraged enough to be telling the truth. (Yes, a replacement cake was procured at the eleventh hour.) I can only assume the icing and generic tips in the photo were purchased to try and “fix” the cake after it was picked up. In fact, Vicky C., if you’re reading this, you might want to chime in on the Comments section now, just to back me up here.

[crickets chirping]

Vicky? Er, Vicky, c’mon now, this isn’t funny.

Whatever the real story is, someone made this cake and that’s hilarious enough all on it’s own. Picturing someone trying to “fix” this cake with a ziplock bag full of green icing… Oh dear. We’ve got the giggles.


Oh, and if you enjoyed this alleged disaster, here’s another one that’s almost as bad.

I Think I’ve Just Been Punk’d [Cake Wrecks] (Thanks, Kerry!)

Comments

  1. GilloD says:

    My wife and I had her mother make our cake. It was terrifying. She waited until like 10 hours before the wedding, started a kitchen fire and botched the icing. But somehow she pulled it off and we had a totally delicious and beautiful cake. A wedding miracle!

  2. JN2 says:

    Hmm, someone watching to many cooking shows and not enough time actually cooking.

    I do this after watching the Rachel Ray show but burgers and casseroles are easier to make excuses for.

  3. Princess Leela says:

    I actually think the second Cake Wrecks example (the plaid cake) is much worse/funnier than this one, just ’cause in addition to looking nothing like the desired cake it also looks like it’s melting/collapsing inward on itself. It was my go-to LOL image for about a week.

  4. thesuperpet says:

    I’m not a baker.
    [i324.photobucket.com]

    I made that cake there.

    I think it looks better than the “professional” cake

  5. illtron says:

    It’s tacky as hell that it’s supposed to look like a Tiffany box. Some poor dude just made a HUGE mistake.

    While we’re on the subject of weddings and cakes, do a Google picture search for “redneck wedding.” It’s hilarious.

  6. UniComp says:

    Wow, not even close. Apparently I could be a professional cake decorator…

  7. el_smurfo says:

    I’m sure that bag of marshmallows would have fixed er right up…

  8. DePaulBlueDemon says:

    Simply awful. Lesson to be learned: go to a professional baker and get references!

    • @DePaulBlueDemon: My wife’s cousin got a professional bakery (with references) to make her cake for her quinceanera. They were paid upfront and all the arrangements were made well in advance. Day of the event, no cake. Several calls to the bakery later, it was determined that the bakery just plain forgot to make the cake. So, even the pros make mistakes.

      • pecan 3.14159265 says:

        The first rule of wedding planning is to never, never, never, never, EVER enlist family into business. Weddings are business, never mistake that. They’re nice, they’re sentimental, you’re celebrating a happy occasion…but they’re also about the planning, the result of exchanging money for a service (whether it’s cake, dress or photography) and that makes it business.

        People don’t often understand that when you get pissed at someone for screwing up, you can demand your money back, take them to court or report them to the BBB. You can’t do that with a family member, and chances are, you’ll get someone calling on the screw-up’s behalf, calling for sympathy and care because “we’re family.”

        And people also don’t understand that just because Aunt Susie makes a mean pumpkin pie doesn’t mean she can shape buttercream, keep it cool in 85 degree summer heat, AND make it taste good. Wedding cakes are a serious deal, and no amount of recommendations would ever, ever, ever convince me that picking family over a professional is worth it. It’s just too risky.

        I had my cake done by a professional pastry chef who worked for a catering company. Beautiful cake, absolutely delicious. $500, which was right at my budget. I don’t care if you don’t even have to pay your family member, if something goes wrong, who is responsible?

        @FightOnTrojans: And that’s totally a case of businesses making mistakes and conducting business poorly. But at least they won’t come over for Thanksgiving and cause awkward conversation at the dinner table.

  9. Scoobatz says:

    I think the OP was too quick to judge. I would have liked to see what the cake looked like covered with the bag of marshmallows first.

  10. I think it’s real in the fact that according to my relatives, I’m a computer genuis, so someone being talked up by the family as the “cake maker” doesn’t seem to bad. But the setting of the picture seems to be taken from inside a house kitchen, so unless the cake was delivered to the bride first, I don’t see this as actually to have happened.

  11. msbask says:

    I make cakes as well (www.thecakepage.com).

    I guess I’d be considered a “semi” professional. I do it for fun and family, but have also been paid to do it.

    There is no way that someone presented that cake to a bride and expected to be paid for it. Punched, yes. Paid, no.

    • howie_in_az says:

      @msbask: I especially enjoyed your ‘phpimage’ and ‘phpmyadmin’ cakes, they look delicious!

    • SigmundTheSeaMonster says:

      @msbask: I just went to that site and got Reported Attack Site warning? WTF? I saw some image of Elmo cake, a football cake then BLAM! WARNING!!

      • drjayphd says:

        @SigmundTheSeaMonster: Yup, I got the same thing. I’d advise msbask to take her advertising company out behind the woodshed if they’re pimping THAT spyware. Every time you try to cancel out of it (not hit “cancel”, because the message boxes don’t have it, but hit the close box) the site just does whatever the hell it wants and tried to install something on my way out. ‘Tis a pity, too.

  12. markscottmusic.com says:

    You know what I don’t get? Those gifts that are a bunch of diapers put together to look like a cake. If I want cake, I’ll get cake. If I want diapers, I’ll get diapers. Thanks.

  13. lightaugust says:

    This happened to my bride and I as well… the whole cake don’t match the picture thing. Is there just this feeling out there that ‘Well, shit, I can bake cupcakes… I’ll make your wedding cake!’?

  14. moore850 says:

    Our cake was a 100% match to the picture we ordered from — and on the first try no less! Very impressive and a testament to what you can do in a regular kitchen. The baker was a stay-at-home mom whose only job aside from “mom” was to bake wedding cakes. She proves that it is possible, and at the same time puts this completely to shame.

    • Franklin Comes Alive! says:

      @moore850:

      Same here. We hired a schoolteacher who made cakes on the side. She charged way too little, but it was clear she did just because she loved making cakes. She got a could tip on top of the modest fee she was charging.

  15. Nottma says:

    I’m skeptical. If it is real. Goes to show that cheaper isn’t better. No matter how good their ads look.

  16. Ihaveasmartpuppy says:

    I hired a sweet very old lady (non professional) who had a flair for cakes for my wedding cake. I told her what I wanted and she made it. It was perfect. She charged VERY little but we made her take more for it.

    On the other hand, I hired a professional green house/floral place for the bouquet. I picked a photo of what it was supposed to look like, paid plenty for it too. It was wrong. It was so wrong I wonder how they could have delivered it to the church. I just shrugged it off and used it anyway, it was a great day.

  17. moore850 says:

    Sorry to DP, but this is just epic.

    Word to the wise: properly assess your skill level before starting a business where people will not accept less than 100% as a result.

    Baking wadding cakes is in the same category of difficult professions as something like hand-watchmaking — a craft that requires a great deal of patience and skill where even a 98% result is really not acceptable. If I were doing a service for money like delivering mulch, and I delivered 98% of the amount needed, I could get it to look pretty close. However, a cake 98% done doesn’t get this luxury of “stretching” to get the appearance the same. It will be immediately obvious to anyone if it’s not 100% the same.

  18. maztec says:

    Mistake #1: “who really hired a member of the family”

    Mistake #2: Never do business with family. I do not care how “close you are”, it will quickly become how “close you were”.

    • SpdRacer says:

      @maztec: I will ad to that, never work for family either, they think they own you cause you happen to be related. Like I would have chosen to be related to your ignorant ass!

  19. edbro says:

    I’m a guy so, if it tasted good then…..

    Life is easier if you have a simple mind like mine.

  20. nrosetulip says:

    That plaid example was what got me hooked on Cakewrecks. I was in tears… the sexual harrassment cake + commentary is also priceless and can cheer you after reading the daily news.

    • Mr. Guy says:

      @nrosetulip: that sexual harassment cake had me laughing to the point of tears.

      And there’s not even a question that the “plaid” cake that looks like jabba the hut trumps this one in terms of abject, hilarious failure.

  21. Tonguetied says:

    Why no link directly to the blog?

  22. Starfury says:

    Mmmmmm….cake.

    I can bake a bit and I’m pretty sure I could crank out something a little better than the one on the left.

    Ok. A lot better.

    Our wedding cake was made by family and it turned out great. Nothing fancy either which is why it was good. We even kept the extra top part for our 1 yr anniversary. Each of us ate a very small bite and then tossed the cake into the bin. The marriage is still going good..better than the 1 yr old cake.

  23. lordargent says:

    I don’t think the cake on the right looks all that good either.

  24. m4ximusprim3 says:

    My aunt in law did our cake and it turned out fine. Then again, I think she does cakes for a living or something. She’s also addicted to painkillers and the right side of her face is paralyzed from some sort of nerve thing.

    Anyway, the point is that if my train wreck inlaws can make a good cake, these people are incompetent.

  25. BuddyGuyMontag says:

    When the wife and I got married, we had the venue produce a cake. We also had a local restaurant, whose forte is NOT making wedding cakes, also provide us a grooms cake. (They are a deli/bakery/diner deal, so they make good food, just not specifically for weddings)

    It worked out perfectly.

    The lesson:

    Don’t have family be involved with any aspect of the wedding outside of being emotional support and/or writing checks.

  26. lizk says:

    A friend of mine had her dad make her wedding cake, and I dare say… this cake looks more “professional” than the one she had for her wedding. Ziploc bag full of frosting indeed.

  27. ClayS says:

    It seems to have a sort of avant-garde rusticness to it.

  28. MexiFinn says:

    Maybe the cake was purchased at WalMart?…

  29. Birki says:

    It looks like the cake maker “tried” to replicate the aqua frosting from the inspiration cake and it ended up that green color on the top tier. Then they just said “to hell with it” and slapped the rest together at the last minute. My guess is they tried to bake and decorate the cake without a trial run too close to the wedding (if this is real).

  30. adam_w says:

    Fondant is ALWAYS your enemy. In terms of a cake-eater, anyways.

  31. CaptainConsumer says:

    The words ‘Family Member’ tell me yeah, it’s probably a relative who made that disgrace. I’ve been best man 5 times in my life, and I’ve heard every means of skrimping on things, seriosly “Oh my cousin is a GREAT photographer”. “My sister in law to be will make the invitation any way you want on her computer”.

    Who else would make a cake like that for FUN?

  32. dwneylonsr says:

    This is why my wife and I never made wedding cakes. My wife said it’s just too important to take a chance on doing it wrong. We stuck to birthdays and special occasions.

  33. purplesun says:

    It’s real. The Bride responded in the comments of the website: [www.blogger.com]

    Vicky (the bride) said…

    This is Vicky (aka the bride). Yes this cake is real, the baker (who manages a catering company) told me I could melt marshmallows and….crisco to try to fill in some of the ‘gaps’. My mother in law and a friend tried to salvage the cake before we decided it couldn’t be done, which is why you see the bag of marshmallows and the tips, my mother in law tried to fix it before I saw it since she had picked it up. But yes it is real, I have witnesses and tears were shed over this.

    September 9, 2008 12:38 PM

    Given some of the cakes on “Cake Wrecks”, this doesn’t surprise me.

  34. octopede says:

    This is like one of those awesome comic-sans-and-blink-tag-heavy websites that comes out of the whole “why pay for a pro – my sister’s friend is a graphic designer” thought process.

  35. hhole says:

    For about 2 years, I worked for Mike McCary at Mike’s Amazing Cakes (www.mikesamazingcakes.com) and yes they were (are). If you ever order one, try the poppy seed with lemon curd filling. YUM!

    We’d see so many people coming in, trying at the last moment to get a wedding cake, because some “professional” blew it (thanks Mom!).

    Yeah, someone probably tried to get a wedding cake on the cheap and paid a horrible price. Hell, I wouldn’t make my own wedding cake as I’d be too be and stressed out about it otherwise.

    Cake rules!

  36. Ghede says:

    Ahhahahahaha. I love it. Go through the archives. If only because it has this: [cakewrecks.blogspot.com]

    … I love the premise behind it. If I’m ever in charge of getting a cake, it will probably be something like that.

  37. B1663R says:

    when i got married i planned the entire wedding in 6 weeks. I took care of everything and still managed a full time job.

    and yes, i have a penis…

    anyway, my wedding had 7 cakes. i ordered one for $600.00 and on the wedding day my dad showed up with 6 cakes from Costco. i had around 100 guests and close to a ton of cake. suffice to say, i had leftovers. no one touched the wedding cake because it was too nice (buffet style table) that really pissed me off…

    sometimes family just should NOT interfere with weddings at all.

  38. SabrinaFaire says:

    When I was planning my wedding I spent a lot of time on wedding planning message boards. And this is something I’d put in the MUD category. Made Up Drama. Doesn’t matter how outraged someone seems, it could still be made up. I’ve seen more “horrifying” made up stories than this.

  39. pine22 says:

    i used to work at a bakery and helped make several wedding cakes back in high school. if any cake was decorated as such it would go in the trash. thats no where near professional its not even funny.

    it looks like the professional cake was made with fondant and family member who is allegedly a “professional” just used either a sugar frosting (cheap and disgusting grocery store shit) or poorly made butter cream frosting. and you can even see the “professional” used a plastic bag instead of a pastry bag which any professional has plenty of.

  40. BytheSea says:

    As soon as you said “member of the family” I believed it.

  41. picardia says:

    You can have family members take care of important elements of weddings, but both you and the family members have to be 100% objective about whether or not they have the skills to do what they need to do. I am thinking specifically of some friends who had a brother of the groom do their wedding video — but this brother was a reporter/editor at a TV news show, was able to use the station’s top-notch editing equipment and his own professional cameras, and was actually much more of a pro than many full time wedding videographers. His closeness to the couple allowed him to make something very intimate and beautiful as well as classy.

    I am also thinking of a friend who allowed her mother to make the bridesmaid’s dresses. Not hers. Ours. That was a a case where you should NOT let the family member take over.

  42. mike says:

    I know a lot of people these days are going with the “faux” cake, where the majority of the cake is fake, sans a slice for the couple.

    That cake looks pretty bad. My motto has been to not have any family and friends do anything at my wedding. I want them to enjoy the time and not have to work.

  43. geckospots says:

    oh man

    oh man

    I have tears running down my face from laughing at ‘Mouse Filled Party Cakes’

    :D

  44. FangDoc says:

    When I went to my local county fair recently, I noticed at least half the “amateur cake decorating contest” entrants have watched WAY too much “Ace of Cakes” on Food Network. They did a reasonably decent job, just they all looked like Duff’s designs.

    I think there are a lot of people out there who think that watching someone do something on TV is the same thing as having experience doing it themselves. I watch TLC, therefore I can paint a room. I watch HGTV, therefore I can lay a laminate floor. I watch Food Network, and I’ve baked a cupcake or two in my lifetime, therefore I’ll make your tacky-ass wanna-be Tiffany-box wedding cake.

    I feel sorry for the bride, but the person who would want this cake needs a karmic lesson or three, so evil smirk reaction prevails over empathy once again.

  45. battra92 says:

    My mom was a professional cake maker back when she was a stay at home mom. She would charge (in the early 80s) around $100 which was cheap for her wedding cakes.

    In the amateur’s defense, fondant is a pain in the ass. Of course, she shouldn’t have taken on the job if she couldn’t do it.

    I’m all for cheap weddings (I can see using a plain old sheet cake or heck skipping the junk food entirely and having something else instead) but really, if you are paying for something you should get what you pay for.

  46. theblackdog says:

    Dammit Consumerist, you got me hooked on another site!

  47. Stonecutter says:

    My advice to all engaged Consumerists: don’t skimp on the cake or the band. If they suck, people will remember.

    • pecan 3.14159265 says:

      @Stonecutter: Don’t skimp on photography either. I went to a wedding where a family friend took photos. One person, one camera, 130 + guests. I don’t know how they turned out, but judging from her equipment, she was more amateur photo buff than professional. My wedding, we had two photographers from a professional studio with a portfolio of wedding work, and they came with extra equipment in case of malfunction. You can’t replace your wedding photos if they’re done poorly. It’s one day, suck it up and pay the money.

      @mermaidshoes: In my experience, almost all wedding cake bakeries (working from home or professional facility) ask for a downpayment and a final payment X days before the event date. Which means that if you’re going to pick a person to do a wedding cake, you better be really sure you like their work.

  48. rho says:

    To my semi-educated eye (my wife makes 2-4 wedding cakes a summer), that looks like fondant on the disaster cake, not sugar frosting or buttercream. Not sure how they managed to get it so lumpy though — maybe they put a full layer of buttercream underneath instead of a minimal crumb coat?

    While I can sympathize with the notion that you should avoid having a friend or family do your wedding cake, I would advise that you just be a good consumerist about it. Ask to see a portfolio of previous wedding cakes, make sure you get a sampler/tester cake etc. If you feel that’s too much to ask from someone who is doing you a favour, and the cake means a lot to you, then you’re better off going to a professional who specializes in wedding cakes.

    Finally, I second the commenter above who said that fondant is really tough to work with. If you’re going with an amateur, even one who’s done a lot of regular (non-wedding) cakes, think twice about asking for a fondant cake. You may prefer the look of it, but fondant takes a lot of practice to become comfortable with, whereas buttercream is more forgiving (and most people will prefer the taste).

  49. mermaidshoes says:

    hmm. do you prepay for wedding cakes? cause unless you do, i hope no one got paid for that cake.

  50. Bullets are cheap. Use one. ON THE CAKE MAKER.

    Oops, sorry, wasn’t suppose to say that. But if that was my cake, I would have gone postal on somebody.