Does anyone remember Bunnicula? We think there’s a similar beast in the Banquet pot pie plant, only instead of sucking vegetables dry he’s draining the pies before they ship. That’s the only thing that can explain how the real pot pie this Consumerist reader cooked looks nothing like the bountiful pot pie harvest shown on the box. Oh wait: it could also be that Banquet is a cheap-assed company that can’t be bothered to sell decent frozen food.
I cooked up the Banquet Chicken Pot Pie per directions.
I flipped it over after cooking and put it in a bowl. I opened up the “bottom” to get at the pot pie goodness and what did I find? Practically nothing. It was almost completely hollow.
On the back of the box were the instructions for cooking.
The final step says to insert a thermometer to ensure a temp of 160 to make sure it is fully cooked. If I had actually done that the probe would have been in the hollow pocket of the pie and not been measuring anything but air.
I will stick with Marie Calendar pot pie from now on. They are actually filled with pot pie goodness.
(Thanks to couponknob!)
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@The Count of Monte Fisto: Geez, that is why you hire a personal chef!
-Wallet is too fat guy
Marie Callanders pot pies are about a 1000 calaries and 60 grams of fat a piece.
ick
@glennski: If you’re buying pot pies, you’re probably a starving college student, so getting the most calorie density for your money is a good thing.
Thats not pot pie. Its Banquet’s newest selection “Not pie”
@snoop-blog: Shall we join forces and do an EECB demanding that their product live up to its advertising and both contain pot AND taste like pie? Cherry? Apple? Peach?
@Orv: I prefer the term “sacrificing college student”, but whatever…
@SkokieGuy: comedic gold!
@glennski: This is what happens when you use actual food ingredients and not cardboard like Banquet does. Even the Swanson pot pies are thee flights of steps up from Banquet.
@Xerloq:
Seriously. You can spend one saturday afternoon making a few dozen that’ll last you for weeks.
@snoop-blog: That is the first use of a blink tag I’ve seen in, like, 8 years. I didn’t even know it still existed.
Merely following your lead!
Get baked AND solve the munchies issue simultaneously. Clearly a pot pie is a multi-functional food.
But I fear we are potentially off topic. On topic: Banquet sucks!
its common knowledge. I’ve gotten more than a few without fillings.
@crashedpc: Shingles is caused by the chicken pox virus. Here is what can trigger it:
“Under certain circumstances, such as emotional stress, immune deficiency (from AIDS or chemotherapy), or with cancer, the virus reactivates causing shingles. In most cases, however, a cause for the reactivation of the virus is never found.” from [www.medicinenet.com]
Unless the lack of food was causing emotional stress, what you are eating doesn’t have anything to do with shingles. I have also had it. My outbreak was caused by stress.
As for the pot pie, call Banquet. I don’t eat them because I don’t like them. I also don’t judge what others eat as it really isn’t any of my business. I am not the food police.
@Chris Walters: It took me forever to incorporate it into comedy, but I’m happy with the results!
Man, those are nasty. And Marie Calendar pies? Ten years ago they were great. Now they’re like Banquet pies used to be. Funky chicken, variable vegetables, slimy soup. Not so great. Used to have them as an emergency staple but I haven’t bought the Costco box in ages.
It’s been 5 years since I ate a Banquet pot pie, but I used to eat one at least once a week. I never encountered this problem. They weren’t bad (other than the caloric and salt content!) Maybe it was a one-time fluke?
@crashedpc: Your mother had a Bunnicula for dinner? jk, jk
You owe me a new monitor for that remark. *wipes off tea*
@carbonmade:
“help… howls… now?”
All this, AND they’ve increased the price by 20-50% in the last year.
you’re asking for high standards from a machine made (not even mexican made) pot pie, made from processed/ GM food to contain filling.
So you want your $2.48 worth, e-mail banquet and they’ll hopefully mail you some coupons. It’s probably a defective unit from the production line.
I compared the nutritional info between cheap Banquet and expensive Marie Callendars pies. They are virtually identical, and cost per calorie on the MC is much higher. If you want more filling buy more pies, it’s still cheaper.
@crashedpc: Good point! I never actually read the Banquet ingredients label…
I eat a number of Banquet meals per month because they are a dollar each at my local Pick-N-Save.
I repeat, they are a dollar each.
Banquet makes the lowest of the low-end foods. You really need to keep your expectations low, especially since they started cutting corners to keep up with inflation without shrinking their portion sizes down so small that you can’t find them.
Banquet has one goal and one goal only: to ensure what they are selling you can, in fact, be digested without killing you. Beyond that, expect nothing.
@thelushie: My shingles was caused by stress, too. While my diet was also very poor at the time (college… ugh…), all that would have done is possibly CONTRIBUTE to my stress.
@legwork: Yeah, MC’s pies have really gone down hill. I get the feeling that they might use the same filling as the Banquet ones these days (though the crust is still nicer).
Claim Jumper still makes a killer chicken pot pie. And I mean that in more ways than one — I can’t lay hands on nutrition info right now, but they’re huge, and have a very thick sauce.
I won’t eat any other microwave food, but a Banquet pot pie is tasty. I keep about 5 in my freezer for when I don’t want to cook. Never had an empty one. Had 3 of the recalled ones and never got sick.
If you’re eating a Banquet Pot Pie, you’re probably on the kind of budget where you buy the “hm, what’s on sale this week?” brand, so why point fingers? Fussing over various pot-pie brands is silly. If you’re going to be a quality vs. convenience snob then MAKE IT FROM SCRATCH. Otherwise, it’s a mass-produced pot pie, so geez.
OP should definitely write a polite letter, most companies will send you an apology and coupony goodness. I once complained (nicely) about stale granola and got sent an entire crate of the company’s granola products as an apology.
@snoop-blog: Please don’t ever use the blink tag again. Pretty please.
@edicius: One can only hope it isn’t the last. LOVED those books as a kid and smiled when I read the reference here.
I ate pot pies a lot growing up and loved them. Am tempted every once in a while now, but always put them back after looking at the nutritional info. Looks like there’s another reason to keep avoiding them.
@thelushie: You’re right, it was a rather stressful time. Eating multiple pot pies mostly hurt my waistline.
@theblackdog: At least you didn’t splatter your monitor with chunks of coagulated chicken fat and dough from a pot pie.
Honestly, for $0.81, can you really expect better? My 2 y/o daughter likes those things, but I hope she grows out of the phase soon.
Try a Stouffers; they are even better than the Marie Callender ones IMHO.
@crashedpc: shingles are from a herpes virus, you can’t get it from food……
Banquet must have screwed up. We buy these things all the time, they usually sell for around a buck, and are pretty tasty. They probably send my sodium level through the stratosphere, though.
Shopping rule #1: Nothing looks like the picture on the box.
@timsgm1418: How embarrasing that must be…
Big deal, shit happens. I got a couple of empty Hot Pockets once, and they sent me a ton a coupons for it.
@HeartBurnKid, creepy morbid freak: Amen Brutha! Claim Jumper pot pies are chock-full of meaty goodness!! Not to mention the kick-arse “crisping” box they come in.
What a great concept, buy the shell and fill it with whatever you want. Hello shepherd pot pie.
BUNNICULA!!! YES!!!!
What’s wrong with that? Would you rather have plastic?
Just another completely useless “Bunnicula ROCKS!@” post.
I read that entire series probably thirty times as a child. While I could care less about Banquet Pot Pies, you’ve inspired me to make a quick run to Amazon to find them for my own kids. Thanks! 
this is amazing. i haven’t laughed this much in a while.
@snoop-blog: Son of a buck. How did that blink tag get into comments? Gawker police need to figure out how to disemvowel that on the hop. Last thing anyone needs is the masses blinking everything.
@Elvisisdead: Man Didn’t anyone read the last psa about how I think it was Lifehacker posted how to do all of those? I’m pretty sure plenty of people know how to do the blink tag, and we are all here still surviving, considering that was the very first time I put one in a post and the world is still here, I think we’ll be ok. It’s not like me or anyone else is overdosing on it…
@PunditGuy: That sounds like the recipe from here: [www.cookingforengineers.com]
It’s my favourite recipe, and while it takes some time to put together (if you are short on time I suggest buying one of those rotisserie chickens from the grocery store), it has never been anything but tasty, tasty goodness when it’s done. Even the biscuits are really easy to do and take marginally longer to make from scratch than they do from a mix. Plus it freezes really well so you can keep some in single serve containers for later.
blah blah blah I really like my chicken pot pie.
ConAgra Foods, Inc. in Omaha, Neb., the nation’s No. 2 food company and second-largest purveyor of frozen foods, is growing its Banquet and Marie Callender’s brands with the same guiding principle: give Americans something they can depend on. For Banquet, the trust it has built up over the years remains its most prized asset. from food and industry. So you see – Marie Callendar is the “upper-end” of the pot pie universe and Banquet is the low-end – both owned by the same company. A little something for everyone.
Ew.
It’s better (and probably cheaper) to make batches of your own and freeze them, anyway. My mom would make up a dozen or so at a time using leftover turkey from any one of the turkey-compatible holidays (In Canada, at least, that would be Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter). The filling was something she learned from working at our local supermarket (although you could always get fancier with it): condensed cream of mushroom soup, worcestershire sauce, salt, pepper, frozen peas/corn/carrots, and leftover bird. Plus her homemade pastry.
Got me through a lot of homework-heavy college days quite nicely.
Marie Callendar’s isn’t much better. I found 3 shards of bone in a box of their chicken pot pies, one of which I nearly choked on.
@snoop-blog:
Ha! You are the man.
Oh, and those Banquet pies are utter trash. They sell them 3/$1.00(!!)at the local Price-Rite. If you want a processed, but delicious pot-pie, I have two words for you: Willow. Tree.
Marie Calendar pot pie has 550 calories in ONE CUP!
Yikes.
I once worked at the ConAgra Reddi Whip factory. Awesome.