Ack! Scary.

Unique 3-D technology? Do you need special glasses to see this chicken?

If only they could fit it in a can.

Well, at least it's all chicken, unlike the "chicken" mcnuggets that were 70% fish.

* Contains no crabmeat

I kind of actually like this kind of chicken. I know, it's gross. It's used a lot in convenient store, heat-em up and buy, pre-assembled sandwhiches and it's a bit "fluffier" than real chicken.

Unique 3-D technology gives you the look and texture of a solid muscle chicken breast, at a fraction of the cost.

You mean I have to wear these things for the whole meal?!

So, they're like McNuggets? Sounds deeeelish.

Is "they offer better portion control" another way of saying "the flavor sucks"?

And all this time I've been eating two dimensional chicken. No wonder it tasted like ashes in my mouth.

All this time people have been worried about the Large Hadron Collider creating black-holes and destroying the fabric of reality, when what they SHOULD be worried about is the rise of the four-dimensional timechickens.

Perhaps it's time for Ikea to get into the Flat-Pack chicken market.

Parts is parts.

The dining hall when I went to college served chicken like this in its sandwiches. Every single chicken "breast" was identical shaped with identical fake grill lines. Theirs were actually all pre-cooked, so they just heated them. Over the course of 4 years I probably ate over a 100 identical chicken breasts.

I'll bet they also use advanced meat recovery techniques..... no joke

The photo sort of looks like canned dog food

Glazed flavoring??? What is that supposed to mean?

@TheLemon:
Whoa, oldskool. Nicely done.

Kind of common household item now. You know those big bags of frozen chicken breasts for around 10 bucks? Yeah, samething.

Glazed flavoring makes me think of donuts. Donuts have more culinary integrity than this frankenboob chicken.

I guess a logical extension of the restaurant chicken breasts that come with dyed on grill marks.

Honestly, is this any more obscene than a McRib?

No.

my favorite flavor! glazed!

mmmmmm.... McRib!

@testsicles: I never thought of "fluffy" as a desirable characteristic of meat. I'm going to ask the server the next time I eat out if their meat is fluffy that day.

@akalish: Just ask the nice waitress to fluff your meat, and let us know how that works out.

Nothing like relying on the good folks at whatever company to help me portion control my food because they're so concerned with me over-eating. With all that sodium-sugar-chemical-ridden glaze, I'm really really concerned about the portion size.

@BlondeGrlz: That comment brightened up a crappy day for me. Thank you :)

I've had a turkey breast like this. Comes with stuffing and everything. Not bad for the price, but not quite the real thing.

It was only a matter of time before the particle board concept came to meat.

@TinyBug: Sweet! Excellent pic.

It's tough,but when I see a Sysco truck parked behind a restaurant,I cross that place off my list of regular eateries. When I see that they use this kind of precooked synthesized crap,I know that I'm being fed some mystery food product in the name of convenience and profit. BTW, this eliminates a LOT of the chains like Applebees/Ruby Tuesday etc... I try to ask around and find out which restaurants use fresh ingredients and real "what you see is what you get" dishes.( How many articles has Consumerist ran that have actual versus advertised food ?)

@spanktastic: I do not think Sysco is trying to control the portion size to help with your over-eating. They are telling their customers (Restaurants and other commercial food preps) that since the frankenchickenboob's are all the same size and weight it is easier for them to deliver a consistent portion.

This is the chicken breast they serve at Subway as well

Fredrick Pohl called this stuff 'Chicken Little' over half a century ago. That is your io9 Moment of Geek for the day.

this isn't a new thing, is it? i remember as a kid being told never to eat chicken nuggets at McD's because they were made of livers and beaks and shit like that.

in other news, SO glad i'm a vegetarian now...

I can see the advertising. New Chicken breast now with real white meat

@apotheosis: Sadly, I remember that commercial as if it were just last year. And I love saying "pieces parts".

@lookatmissohio: Oh yeah? You haven't seen what Sysco is doing to Broccoli...

@apotheosis: I seldom REALLY LOL but that one made me laugh.

Parts are parts!!

At this rate Soylent Green will be a reality in our lifetime.

@homerjay: Fluffy Chicken with a Soy-Like Glaze.

I ordered a chicken dish at Red Robin a few months back and it was quite clearly a processed chicken "breast" like this one. I could barely stomach the thing; it was awful.

@Bagels: No, this isn't what they serve at Subway - this is an actual chicken breast made up of whole pieces of actual chicken breast. What Subway uses, and any of those places with the painted on grill marks, is a ground up, reconstituted form of chicken.

@Snarkysnake: Sysco delivers all kinds of food, not just overprocessed chicken breastoids. At the restaurant I work at we get produce, fresh eggs, cheese and a lot of other things through Sysco. Shopping exclusively at the local farmer's market, Kroger or even Sam's Club doesn't work too well for a restaurant.

ooooooohhhhh!

3D technology, that's a hoot.

I'll got to ChickFilA, thanks.

My girlfriend once ordered a caesar salad with a grilled chicken breast from the menu of a popular eatery. Not only was the 'breast' not grilled (it was breaded) but on close inspection the 'chicken' was a spongy, pre-formed mass that contained small chunks of chicken, kind of like a giant McNugget.

gross.

@apotheosis: No but I bet it costs more.

Sysco is killing the culinary field. Cooks and Chefs who want to create good FOOD, have to contend with restaurant owners who see this sysco pre-made, heat and serve garbage as a better alternative to paying a talented cook to create something truly wonderful out of raw ingredients. Please, try to support restaurants that have to charge a bit more for food that is real and made on site as much as possible.