We Review Drank, The "Anti-Energy" Drank
As soon as we heard about Drank, the anti-energy drink that promises to "slow your roll," we knew we had to try it. After searching around New Orleans for a while, we were directed to a gas station in Tremé. We brought a few cans home, put on some Three 6 Mafia, and drank some Drank.
The Discount Zone where we bought the Drank seemed as excited about it as we were. They had a large poster in the front window that advised us that consuming Drank may "cause one to lean." When we made our way to the beverage coolers, we found fake VIP passes allowing one to be part of the "official Drank crew."
Then our excitement took a big hit: Drank costs $3 per can, plus tax. Still, we wanted to find out how it tasted and if it actually had any soporific effect, so we proceeded.
Ingredients
Drank contains several roll-slowing supplements: valerian root, melatonin, and rose hips. Oh, and lots of high-fructose corn syrup. My fiancee is getting a Pharm.D., and she helpfully went on Lexi-Comp to check these ingredients out. What follows is not medical advice, and may not be entirely accurate, as I was leaning pretty hard while I took notes on what she was saying.
Valerian Root: Used for restlessness and sleep disorders. The effect is in the same class (anxiolytic) as Xanax and Valium, but considerably weaker. Valerian root is what the doctor in Fight Club advised Tyler Durden to chew when he couldn't sleep. Taking it with alcohol increases the "risk" of sedation. Seems pretty legitimate.
Melatonin: We release melatonin throughout the day, and supplements may help regulate deficiencies that might occur from jet lag or other sleep disorders. My fiancee says, "Some study found that melatonin gives you a rash on your junk, and it took 10 days to go away." Apparently the proper medical term for this is "fixed drug eruption."
Rose hips: Rose hips are pretty much worthless, but they contain a lot of vitamin C and may help prevent urinary tract infections, which is a common affliction among certified gangstas.
Taste
We did two taste tests: first we drank Drank straight, then later at night we mixed it with vodka to see if it was an acceptable anti-substitute for Red Bull (yes, we know Red Bull and vodka is disgusting, but we were curious if Vodka Drank would be just as gross or something worse). After pouring two Dranks, neat, I inhaled deeply. It had a distinctly grapey bouquet with a grapish nose tastes like grape soda. Nothing but grape soda. When you mix it with vodka, it tastes like vodka and grape soda, although it reminded me more of a Sparks than Red Bull and vodka. Anyone buying Drank for taste is probably better off spending $3 on grape soda, which would probably purchase a few liters.
Effects
After my first drink of Drank, I felt pretty sleepy. I'd only been up for three hours, but I ended up taking a sixty-minute nap. This was probably a placebo effect, and there were several confounding variables that dispel any causality, e.g., my couch is really comfortable, my dogs were already napping on the couch, and joining them looked like a good idea. So the first Drank drinking was inconclusive. When I mixed a drink of Drank with vodka and drank that Drank drink, I didn't feel anything. Nonetheless, I went to bed almost five hours earlier than I did the night before, and was only up for about eleven hours total. I really hope that was the effect of Drank; otherwise I'm a lazy sloth.
Conclusion
It's probably no surprise—Drank isn't worth it. Three dollars is pretty expensive for a can of sugar water, so unless its supplements actually work, it's a rip off. The effects are nowhere near what I've experienced when I've been prescribed opiates like Vicodin or Codeine; it's not even comparable to doxylamine succinate, the sedative found in NyQuil and some over-the-counter sleeping pills, although there was no groggy hangover the next morning. Bottom line: if you're looking for the taste of Drank, buy some grape soda; if you're looking for the effects of Drank, have a glass of red wine.
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Comments:
You know my rose hips don't lie, and i'm startin' to feel ya boy
So you drank Drank and drink didn't get you drunk. That's Crunk.
Good write up! You are correct, anyone over 21 need not apply to these nonsense energy or anti-energy drinks when we can get wine 2 for $10 and get T to the ANKED in a hurry.
Just buy some Valerian root online or from an herb store. Soak it in vodka in a jar in the sun (seriously) for a couple weeks. Drain the vodka into a medicine dropper bottle through a funnel and add a few drops of the tincture to your favorite herbal tea. I've used it to help me sleep and I wake up feeling super chilled-out.
Warning: may smell like feet.
I think it's like the fake ecstasy scene in "Go": It works better if you smoke lots of weed while you're dranking it.
I think I'd go with the more traditional anti-energy drink - a Manhattan.
Possibly the best written review I've ever read. And I've read a lot.
I'd love to be at the design meeting..."what flavor should we make this drink for our target demographic?" "Grape drink!" Something about that just strikes me as stereotyping.
Besides the health reasons to avoid high fructose corn syrup (and the artifical flavorings and colorings) HFC, like any sugar is a stimulant. This kinda negates the effects of the valerian.
Melatonin must be taken on a regular basis, and timed in relation to night and day, to help your sleep cycle. It's often recommended for international travelers to reset their internal clocks, but it has to be used in a specific wall.
I suspect that both the valerian and melatonin are in token amounts anyhow.
All that being said, I don't want to buy a product that requires a slang dictionary to understand the product benefits. Slow my roll? I see potential marketing opportunities for a whole family o products. What about a drink to brake my biscuit? Make my croissant crawl? Make my crepe creep?
God why did I read this? Now I must have some for my own trials!
@AlteredBeast: Seems like a conscious nod to Chapelle, putting it in a purple can. And not to mention the name itself, while the correct past tense of drink, is clearly ebonics
@White Speed Receiver: That is a great review. Maybe Drank should advertise that it inspires the blogger's inner poet.
@RabbitDinner: Really? All that is missing are the Grape Flavored Stoggies (awesome blunt wrappers) and some watermelon starbursts and a brother is set.
@SkokieGuy: Yes, I forgot to mention-although I hope everyone realizes- that having HFCS be the biggest ingredient besides water probably negates whatever effect the other stuff might cause.
@RabbitDinner: It is a nod to Britney Spears who, at the depths of her craziness, used to mix up cough syrup, soda, and various other chemicals and called it her "Purple Drank," the "drank" being "drink" pronounced with a distinct southern accent.
They have this stuff all over Houston, considering H-town is the leaning capital of the world. I miss New Orleans.
Ha, New Or"LEANS".
Grape Soda
Liquid Valerian root Extract (2oz): $11.59
[www.vitaminshoppe.com]
Liquid Melatonin (2oz): $7.98
[www.vitaminshoppe.com]
Rose Hips (4oz): $16.97
[www.vitaminshoppe.com]
$36.54 for Supliments
+ Grape Soda, Mix to taste/Strength
VS
12-pack of Drank: $36
Britney Spears makes a special "purple drank" that's a mix of Diet Sprite, prescription-strength cough syrup with coedine, and sometimes painkillers. She also takes the anti-depressant Zoloft and sleep aid Ambien, which is why she's often spaced-out. A source says "she brags to everyone about her 'purple drank'"
Awesome. I wish I was a blogger, sleeping on the couch with the dogs and getting paid the big blogger bucks.
Did you try setting it on fire a la a Flaming Moe (or more accurately a Flaming Homer)?
Excellent review. I'm sure it's hard to come up with a legal equivalent to mixing grape soda with cough syrup, but darn if they didn't try.
"When I mixed a drink of Drank with vodka and drank that Drank drink, I didn't feel anything."
This will go down in history as the best sentence that was ever written on the Consumerist.
Congrats. You win an internet.
Anyone remember "scissor"--it was a big fad in hip-hop clubs in the South in the late 90s. I think it was cough syrup and orange soda...and I vaguely remember Three Six Mafia wrote a song about it.
Of course, it was the late 90s and my memory...he not so good, eh?
Or you could put some golf on tv, smoke a joint and eat some Doritos. Much more effective.
@Egg Yolkeo: I used to put Valerian root tea bags in my Ex's car when we were going out. Let them brew over night, or in the school parking lot all day, and I would get angry text messages. My GOD did they smell like feet.
Saying valerian root is weaker than Valium is misleading.
Comparing the sedative effects of a Valium tablet to the same quantity of valerian root, you would see the root as weaker.
Comparing the same quantities of highly refined valerian extract to Valium though, produces different results. Refined valerian extract can be every bit as effective, milligram for milligram, as Valium. And one of the more interesting characteristics of valerian is the sedative chemical works with skin contact, it doesn't need to be ingested.
Just started selling it here in Texas, and some friends and I tried it. Smoking and drinking are definitely more effective, and combined with either, works really well for a chill night. If you need some sleep and don't want a hangover or medicine that lasts a long time, it's pretty effective. It's like a light body high. Definitely not a "hey, let's have a Drank and then go to a party" beverage, though.
@Egg Yolkeo:
@Git Em SteveDave: In the extensive research I did while we were "reviewing" drank, I came across a few scholarly references to the "dirty sock" smell of valerian root. It's legit.
@AlteredBeast: Drank, the purple color, the flavor, all come from the 'real' drank, which is some 'street' conconction that has killed at least two prominent rappers. (I use the word prominent very loosely)
When I've used it, I've mixed it with Chamomile, which smells kind of funky anyway, IMO.
Fun fact #2: My cats love the dried root more than catnip.
The most known unknown has an anti-energy drink? Awesome!
A single (25mg) Benadryl = the 'PM' Tylenol and Advil PM. Two of them = a Unisom softgel sleeping pill.
Toss in a few more, and you have a recreational hallucinogenic.
@Alex Chasick:
"I got the red promethazine, the orange and yellow tuss. Hydrocodone on the hands free phone". Lyrical genius I tell you! (That's one of the more memorable lines from the song "Sippn' on some Sizzurp")
@Alex Chasick: Now that I've seen a link to Jezebel along with Britney and Three6Mafia references on Consumerist, I shall retire from The Interwebs.
/Meaning I'm not going to be productive for a while
//Not Drank induced
Three 6 Mafia reference on the Consumerist ftmfw!
Valerian root caps cost about $10 for 250. It's the perfect relaxer, I find. 1 or 2 a day puts me in a really nice mood. I don't mind the dirty sock small/taste, I think of it as more like the smell of Italian spice...
Coming next month: ANTIDON'T, the two in one anti-anti energy and anti-energy beverage that will negate the effects of both Drank and Red Bull, restoring your energy level to a perfectly normal state as though you had consumed nothing at all.
"The poison is free... but how much would you pay for the ANTIDON'T?"
Valerian Root "may" smell like feet?? DOES smell like feet. That stuff is the nastiest smelling root ever. Whatever you do, don't leave any of it exposed in a warm area, like your kitchen counter, or your car. I know someone who spilled some in her back seat before going on vacation, and she finally had to sell the car just to get away from the smell.
Another friend of mine sews it into sachet bags/toys for kitties - they LOVE the smell. My older cat will actually hold the bag against her head and drool all over it. Yick.
Try the actual thing. Prometh with Codeine is no joke
You deserve a Pulitzer.