If you haven't read Ann Hodgman's terrific essay "No Wonder They Call Me a Bitch," you really should.

I thought this was common knowledge, but then again, I've worked in two pet stores. The second to last sentence dropped my jaw though. Again, women liking penises is common knowledge, but she seems like she doesn't descrimanate about the type she likes.

Well now when you tell someone to "Eat a bag of dicks" You can provide the appropriate prop!

Fantastic picture, BTW.

We could only assume she finds much enjoyment in picking up a hard, dry un chewed penis.

"Now I like penises just as much as any girl, but the joy of picking up a soft, soggy well chewed penis continues to elude me."

Give this girl whatever it is she is looking for.

Well, bull peckers are not as gross as some of the byproducts in the pet food itself. Most dog kibble contains every other part of the animal, right down to the butt-hole.

@man_in_plaid: Well said, sir! Well, said!

@sir_pantsalot: I imagine she can provide the sogginess...but in a good way.

So crude, I know. I've been reading Jezebel.

A penis that gets softer when it's slobbered on... how poetic.

yea, you can buy a bag of 'em at Costco. My dog, who is a girl, loves 'em ;)

Yep, already knew this.

Why does this story make me picture a fraternity hazing?

"You made the pledges chew what?"

One thing that I miss about working at Petco was the look on customer's faces when I would inform them of this fact.

I (unfortunately) work once or twice a week at the local Petsmart and I always tell customers what bully sticks are made out. It makes for some very horrified people. And I laugh and laugh and laugh..

@man_in_plaid: I think you broke MY bone... my funny bone!

Now I like penises just as much as any girl, but the joy of picking up a soft, soggy well chewed penis continues to elude me.

You forgot the "Dear Penthouse Forum".

@man_in_plaid: Louis CK is eternally indebted to you. ;)

That dog makes for an excellent O RLY? Owl stand-in!

Parts is parts. ::shrug::

I thought everyone knew this, oh well. Texis Toothpicks are also dried penis.

OP here, and I have to admit, I didn't think they'd publish that last sentence. Shame on me!

I'll probably still buy them for Robbie, but it does add a nice eeeewww factor.

Also, after submitting it, I realized I missed the best part of the nutritional information. In case you were wondering, it's 29 calories per inch!

I'm glad we don't give our dogs those things. Ack.

So what? The dogs don't mind, and they are actually a lot better for them than rawhide. Just get over it. It's not like it's covered in fresh cow smeg or something.

I told you people I'm a vegetarian! Oops, wrong forum, and I'm not a dog. Sorry.

[consumerist.com]

@witeowl:

Rocky Mountain Oysters, etc.

Congrats on the new hound! Soft toys, ice chips, and a comfy couch work perfectly for mine.

Haha... aptly named.

@man_in_plaid:

Gahahaha! Congratulations, you win.

So um... Are you guys actually going to post proof that these are made of penises? Or just an anecdotal story?

What I'd like to know is, are these from Jew or Gentile bulls? And please, let's not get on the subject of shrink rays...

My dog (well bitch, its a lady dog) is a size queen-she wont even touch her bully sticks unless its at least 8" (and those are real inches, not AOL ones)

Look, it's an off cut. It's either going to your dog or it's going in your McDonalds (please don't sue me). Waste not, want not.

Further proof that Americans have divorced themselves from the natural world.

OMG, there's bacteria all over your plate!!! Run!!!

@MyPetFly:

Actually, I think all bulls are Hindu, not that it helped in this case.

i thought this was common place know how... I mean, it's not hard to research these days to figure out what you're giving your pet. I always do research before i give any of my pets a treat/toy. Our dog loves bully sticks. Only problem is the smell after a bit of chewing. I would assume it's to be expected.

@RandomHookup: "Actually, I think all bulls are Hindu, not that it helped in this case."

So where's the dot? (A "bindi," actually.)

Finally, a litmus test for gay dogs.

I had the displeasure of working in a pet store in high school. It was a mom & pop operation, and I often had the responsibility of arranging and signing the pet treats. For pig ears, I would draw an earless pig's head with a surprised look on its face. The bull was similar, though I couldn't be too graphic. Good times. One time, I called the manufacturer to confirm what Bully Sticks, in fact, were. The rep cheerfully declared, "They're made from bull tendons!" Then whispered, "(it's a penis!)"

@pigbearpug:

So... what would lesbian dogs get? Moo Poon? Cow Cooter? ; )

Hehe, before buying bull penis, she went NUTS buying other toys. Where's Bevis and Butt-Head when you need 'em?

Again, this is why I'm a cat person...

Now you know why your mom wouldn't let the dog lick you on the mouth.
What goes around, comes around.

@MyPetFly: Ummm...good point. Maybe a bully stick wrapped in flannel? :)

And my dog got pancreatitis from chewing on too many bully sticks as a pup. Be Careful!!!

I think this is appropriate:
[www.holytaco.com]

Then again, this is not news and not particularly a "shocking consumer fact". Worse things are in American hotdogs.

I have to rate this article as a fail.

Most long-time dog owners know what Bully Sticks are made from.

And I don't agree that rawhides are more inherently dangerous than other chew toys. You have to monitor your dog with them to be sure that the dog is only getting small, well softened pieces of a rawhide and take it away once the dog is getting large pieces. Also make sure your dog has plenty of access to water.

The only toys that I would leave a dog alone with are Kongs and Nylabones (after some supervised time to be sure that you bought the right chewing strength and size for your pet).

Elizabeth - you are awesome and my hero.
Buy your dog raw bones from the butcher - super cheap and good for them.

@The_Gas_Man: Not just anecdotal: [www.bullysticks4dogs.com] that's straight from the manufacturer.

Bully stick -- yay, a new nickname for hubby's thang. This could get freaky.

So, did Consumerist post this story in order to give us an opportunity to make clever remarks, or are they really that eager to raise hell about the smallest non-issue (and dilute their effectiveness in the process), instead of sticking to things that actually matter?