The sad part, is that this is true of a good amount of us American's anymore

i had Sbarro at the mall last week. ugh. I got a stomachache and drank a half gallon of water to flush it out.

I prefer mine smothered in pure trans fats instead of sauce with crispy cock roaches and a side of trans fats for dipping.

Pepperoni pizza with extra cheese, extra pepperoni and also topped with pepperoni hot pockets and with pepperoni and cheese stuffed crust.

Well, there's deep fried pizza. After the first slice your heart actually finds the nearest orifice and runs away in sheer terror.

My heart skipped a beat watching that...

@pigbearpug: I don't like the sound of that "Pure," mister.

@mcjake: That...... sounds delicious right now...

Reminds me of the SNL faux-commercial satirizing Taco Bell. It was for a concoction consisting of a taco, wrapped in another tortilla, wrapped in a pizza, wrapped in buttermilk pancakes, ad infinitum. Hilarious.

1:05- White Castles.... On A Pizza? Interesting... /srsly

1:07- Twinkies? EWWWWWW

My girlfriend and I have been joking about making hot dog pizza for years. Maybe I should call Domino's....

1. I love that freaky commercial for that oreo dessert pizza. Those beards are amazing.

2. What exactly is the equivalent of 5 americans?

3. Acutally eating pita pizza as I type this...

I believe I will order Dominos this weekend.

@Darascon:
Answer to #2:
A semi truck painted with an American flag motif on the cab, racial slurs written on the trailer, and filled with various bloody animal appendages.

Oh, and it runs on rainbows and smiles, so fuel is scarce.

~Y

I used to work for a pizza parlor that had an all you can eat buffet. The owner was never there and it was run by college students. Needless to say, we used to conduct similar experiments and the people wouldn't hesitate to scarf it down. Salami and sardine pizza anyone?

I don't think I have seen a real "pizza innovation" in a long time. Sure they've stuffed it with cheese or added new toppings but there's never been anything to set it apart.

Big deal. Taco Bell has been doing this for years.

@Blue387: Speaking of Taco Bell... I have a guilty love for those little mexican pizzas.

@timmus: I've heard about this from a friend of mine who lives in the UK. It sounds both delicious and terrifying.

IIRC, in Japan Pizza Hut has a Stuffed Crust pizza w/ saussage in the crust as well as cheese. In North America, we just have the cheese.

Amusing fact!: Reggie Fils-aime, president of Nintendo of America, actually invented the Bigfoot Pizza and the Big New Yorker while he was the Senior Director of National Marketing for Pizza Hut. I think he did the Stuffed Crust, too, but I'm not sure.

Eel and seaweed pizza.

Truly.

My daughter loves Domino's. I refuse to go anywhere near it.

A discussion topic my friends and I had awhile back is why is this world created where the best tasting food is 99.9% of time unhealthy.

If the best tasting food in the world was indeed healthy, what would the world be like? Would people still overeat? Will overeating still cause people to become obese? But it's healthy, right?

This is the onion people, satire?

I love that whole segment. Just perfect.

Ew. This looks like something from a What Would You Do Segment?

Heh. The Onion is all about satire, folks. I think the poster of the article is having fun with us. :-)

@3drage:
@9900dude:

The best satire is one that is indistinguishable from that it is satiring. Also, who cares. It's the onion, and a good idea (Unlike those communist pizza feed bags). What, is the onion not allow to have a good idea?

Beat this:

Last weekend I had a Frito Pie Pizza at the Alamo Draft House. It is created by topping a pizza crust with chili, onions, jalepenos, sliced hotdogs, 2 kinds of cheeses, and crushed fritos. Then baked until golden delicious.

Holy Christ it was delicious.

I had a Mars stir-fry yesterday.

I want to see the garbage covered pizza they were talking about. And, I want to see someone eat it.

I had a discussion today about national health care I came to the conclusion that the reason other countries are so "healthy" and their health care systems work so well is that they are healthier than us And what I mean by that is they eat a pretty good diet, which cuts their obesity rate, which makes them healthier on a whole. Even though it's satire, it's pretty much true.

And for years I've been trying to pith a pizza to Pizza Hut that I know will sell better than any pizza in the world.

Alpo sausage clumps, Green Milkbone's, week old banana peels, day old coffee grinds, shredded-melted used plastic bags, bacon grease sauce and egg shells for extra crunch.

If only I had gone to Dominos, USAmericans would be enjoying this delicacy.

Oh, man, hilarious. Thanks for posting! :D

OMG... Did anyone else get sick watching that clip? That clip is alone enough to never make me want to get Domino's pizza ever, ever again.

@SomeoneGNU:

Why innovate something that is fine how it is? Why not concentrate on making your existing products taste better than creating garbage...

Love me some Onion. But they need a copy editor: It's "Sesame," folks.

@krunk4ever: Well, not to invoke the "E" word... When humanity had to hunt and forage to survive, over-consumption was rarely a danger. The more real danger was not eating enough fat or protein to survive. We find those foods appealing because our bodies were starved of it for millennia before supermarkets and KFC came about. Our bodies want to consume as much as possible because historically it's been so rare.

@ceriphim:

So is there any protein in ice cream? B/c I eat 3-4 pints a week...

No, I'm not fat...just "evolved"...

; )

If you wanted pizza why did you order Domino's?

Great think about living in the Northeast is that there is no shortage of decent pizza places around here.

It's funny how the guy comments about piling on "garbage" and saying that people will continue to eat it.

It's nice to give their new pizzas a try to see what they taste like, but I'd much rather stick with a regular pizza that sticks to traditional toppings (i.e. pepperoni, sausage, onions, etc.)

@timmus: It's called a pizza puff.

@Spookyooky: Or just make it yourself if you don't have a good non-chain place locally.
SW Fla has our share of good and baaaad pizza places.
One place keeps changing their name instead of their recipe.
In related news:
[www.theonion.com] <-- Best. Onion. Video. EVER.

Domino's already pushes the limit with the alpo with spaghetti sauce that they serve now

Japanese Pizza. Mayo is a topping.

@krunk4ever: Well, the main reason we crave unhealthy foods has its roots in history. Our ancestors had a tough time finding fats, sugars, and carbohydrates. As a result, our bodies crave those types of foods. Even though we live in a society where there's junk food everywhere you look, we still can't get enough of it, because our bodies are programmed to seek that kind of food out and devour it, to store fat for the lean times.

Too bad we don't have lean times so much anymore. :)

@Darascon:

5 Americans used to equal 8 Europeans or 12 Canadians. Sadly, it now takes 2 Americans to get a European, and a Canadian and an American are actually equivalent.

Are Domino's still around much anymore? In the 80s they were the biggest thing....around here it seems like most of them closed and got replaced by PapaJohn's

Aw man, my company used to rent space at the office buildings known as Domino's Farms. They had all sorts of crazy "pizza" available, including seasonal ones like the Thanksgiving Pizza. Do I need to describe it?

Yes. Yes I do.

Gravy instead of pizza sauce. Topped with cheese, mashed potatoes, stuffing, turkey AND a dollop of cranberry sauce in the middle.

So wrong, but so. f-ing. delicious.

@stacy75: Oh my god, I am so going to try to make one of those...

@ppiddy: I hate to admit it, but that sounds f-ing delicious.

lol i believed this until i realized it was the onion