These Doritos Are Going To Last A While

Frito-Lay has been all sorts of innovative lately—using pumpkin to make snack chips, sticking Cheetos up people’s noses—but they’ve outdone themselves with their latest packaging triumph. Duke writes,

Hey guys — Just wanted to let you know that with all of this grocery shrink ray action that is going on, it is nice to see some companies doing something to make their product last a little longer. The only question is…what kind of preservatives are in these Doritos so they will last until August 39th???

We wonder if Frito-Lay has discovered how to add an extra eight days to the calendar, or if they mean August 2039, in which case we think Duke shouldn’t eat them—he should sell them on CraigsList as roofing material.

Comments

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  1. axiomatic says:

    August 39th = Sept 2nd? At least in 2008? ;-)

  2. axiomatic says:

    Whoops Sept 9th?

    Bah I botched it… I’ll go hang my head in shame now…

  3. Bladefist says:

    The programmer who wrote the code to print the current date + the days fresh needs to contact me. I will teach them how to add dates.

  4. Please. August 39th. That’s crazy talk. The most reasonable explanation is they will last until August of 2039.

  5. Mike8813 says:

    I don’t think I’ve ever noticed the expiration date on a bag of Doritos. I’ve calculated that I consume an entire Family Size bag roughly 9 seconds after making the purchase.

  6. TheLemon says:

    This is done to distract you from the Grocery Shrink Ray.

  7. @Git Em SteveDave is a poor substitute for LindsayJoy: Hit enter too soon. The reason they are lasting longer is that since Doritos beamed a commercial into space, they want to ensure that should Judgement Day come, the aliens which have trekked all this way will still have a fresh bag of chips to munch on.

  8. @TheLemon: SO they shrink the size and increase the date? Is it an inverse equation?

  9. Get Twinkies and stop worrying about expiration dates.

  10. B says:

    That’s just the best buy date, they’ll be good till at least August 45th.

  11. SOhp101 says:

    Doritos… so preserved, they’ll rip a hole in the space-time continuum.

  12. sarabadara says:

    I love the new Sweet Spicy Chili Doritos. So much so that I had to quit eating them. A girl should not lay in her bed every night, watching General Hospital and eating Doritos from a purple bag, after consuming a six pack of Blue Moon Summer Ale. I don’t care when they expire.

  13. Sugarless says:

    If you’re eating Doritos are you that concerned with their shelf life?

  14. TheLemon says:

    @Git Em SteveDave is a poor substitute for LindsayJoy: Ummmm….look! Something shiny!

  15. samurailynn says:

    @axiomatic: Does August have a different number of days in different years?

  16. @sarabadara: Especially a girl with Jerri Blank as her avatar.

  17. ILoveVermont says:

    Maybe the bag was intended to be buried in a time capsule.

  18. jwlukens says:

    Thirty days hath September,
    April, June, and November:
    All the rest have thirty-one,
    Except for February… and August

  19. Shaftoe says:

    @Bladefist:

    I thought of that too but then it occured to me that the system in use probably does not, or they chose to not use a date time data type and so the algorithm gets noodled together trying to increment with straight integers.

  20. mythago says:

    Frito-Lay has developed the junk food equivalent of dwarf bread! These things aren’t roofing material; they’re shuriken.

  21. NotATool says:

    @axiomatic: Try Sept. 8… But really, they should stay fresh for a few weeks (at least) after the date if unopened. The Nacho Cheese coating is a 100% nonbiodegradeable layer which helps to ensure freshnes.

  22. lordargent says:

    Someone just found a really old bag of doritos.

    They expired August 1939 :D

  23. prag says:

    Is that $4.89 for a bag of Doritos? Ok, ok, ok, everyone settle down. Gas prices are one thing but when the prices of Doritos goes up the govt better do something. We need to be able to plant corn off shore!

  24. prag says:

    BTW. What’s the deal? They expire in 2039. Doritos have a shelf-life of approx 30 years don’t ya know…

  25. samurailynn says:

    @CreoleSugar: Actually, Doritos almost always go stale on me. But that’s because they don’t get eaten fast enough after the bag gets opened.

  26. allthatsevil says:

    I was going to suggest that maybe they mean the 39th week of the year, the way tires are marked, but the 39th week is in September. I counted. Yes, I have a lot of time on my hands.

  27. Puck says:

    Nice find. But they’re Doritos, does it really matter? I wouldn’t think regular Doritos eaters are going to be the folks caring about what goes into their bodies…

  28. sarabadara says:

    @Chris Walters: Hey now, leave Jerri outta this!
    : )

  29. axiomatic says:

    @NotATool: I know, I totally botched the joke! I’ll go die in a fire now. ;-)

  30. RandomHookup says:

    @jwlukens: This goes well with that coupon I sent Consumerist that expired on June 31st.

  31. Applekid ┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ) says:

    @Git Em SteveDave is a poor substitute for LindsayJoy: Clearly the fewer Doritos the longer they last. They don’t “go bad” on their own, they go bad from peer pressure. Fewer peers = less pressure.

    The other day I saw some Doritos standing outside a 7-11. And it was smoking! True story.

  32. Gopher bond says:

    They should just sell Dorito cheese powder. I’d shake that stuff on everything. Everything tastes better as a Dorito.

  33. rinse says:

    Why is it that stories about edible items guarantee comments from people who think they eat better than everybody else? “Doritos?! Good lord, why don’t you just shove dog poop in your mouth?” Yes, yes, we get how awesome you are because you wouldn’t be caught dead with a crumb of Dorito in your mouth. :P

  34. EdnaLegume says:

    @rinse: no wonder they’re so uptight, the don’t EAT DORITOS

  35. coren says:

    @axiomatic: September 8th, wouldn’t it be? And it’d be September 8th every year…

  36. coren says:

    @mythago: But…I don’t want someone to piss on my doritos :(

  37. coren says:

    @prag: Oh, this is the 8 pound bag. It’s actually quite the steal!

  38. nerdsavant says:

    Occam’s razor says that it’s most likely just a misprint. AUG 39 should be AUG 09. There ya go.

    Let me know if you need me to clear anything else up for ya.

  39. vatica40 says:

    I’m totally boycotting now. Maybe even suing.

  40. SAGoon987 says:

    @Bladefist: I’M SURE THEY NEED THAT BECAUSE CLEARLY FRITO LAY NEEDS TO HIRE A GENIUS LIKE YOU TO DO SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS ADD DATES. I’M SURE EVERY PACKAGE HAS THE ERROR AND WAS NOT A SIMPLE MISTAKE.

    Idiot. Snarky comment fails.

  41. statolith says:

    2039? That’s nothing: how about May 3009?

  42. Schizohedron says:

    They ought to be good at least through next Smarch.

  43. DamThatRiver says:

    @Schizohedron: “Lousy Smarch weather!

    “Do not touch Willie. Good Advice!”

  44. scottywz says:

    August 39? That’s nothing. This isn’t food-related, but the car of someone I know (an 03 or 04 Santa Fe) went all the way to Feb. 99!

    [www.flickr.com]

  45. karmaghost says:

    Holy shit! $5 for Doritos? WTF.

  46. TammyTones says:

    @statolith:
    May 30,2009

  47. LogicalOne says:

    Not to put a damper on everyone’s fun, but the simplest explanation, IMO, is that some factory guy was in a hurry to change the letters and numbers in the date stamping machine before the packaging run, and this is the result. Perhaps he meant to put “Aug 3 09″ or “Aug 30 9″?

  48. statolith says:

    @TammyTones: Yeah probably, but my way’s funnier. ;)

  49. MormonJay says:

    You know for the longest time I kept rereading this thinking there was nothing wrong until I finally figured out that there isn’t 39 days in a month…. That seriously messed me up.

  50. Pro-Pain says:

    @SAGoon987: Are you ok???

  51. TammyTones says:

    @statolith:
    Yes, your’s was funny. I did laugh, I promise.
    It’s still funny when I read it ;)

  52. SayAhh says:

    At least they weren’t from the future! There was an incident in Taiwan where a market was caught selling veggies where the manufactured date printed on the package was still weeks away! Talk about freshness!

  53. mrearly2 says:

    They’ll be just as good for you, on August 2039, as now. Enjoy!