According to DivineCaroline, “After a long week at the 9-to-5, few things sound better than a relaxing massage and a bubbly drink. Clearly, I’m not alone—there are spas popping up all over the world, each one’s sole purpose to cater to our every desire. Papaya-scented body scrub? No problem. A mani-pedi-Botox package? Standard these days. Bull semen in your hair? You betcha!” See some of our favorite disturbing spa treatments, inside…
9. The “Other” Face Lift
At the Phit spa in New York you can revitalize your vaginal muscle tone. Their treatment can “restore labial and vulvar contour to a plump firmness” by using lasers.
4. Fish Reflexology
At Singapore’s Sentosa spa you can enjoy the luxury of tiny Turkish spa fish eating the dead skin off your feet. Below you can see the fish in action.
3. Aberdeen Organic Bull Sperm Treatment
Hari’s Salon in London offers a hair treatment that uses bull sperm which supposedly moisturizes, brightens and repairs your hair.
2. The Geisha Facial
The Shizuka Day Spa in New York uses a treatment that incorporates powdered and sanitized Nightingale droppings that contain natural enzymes which act as an exfoliant and a skin brightener.
1. Snake Massage
Israeli masseuse Ida Barak uses slithering snakes on your back which she believes has a calming effect and alleviates joint pain.
For the full list, check out DivineCaroline’s article.
(Photos: Getty)
More From Consumerist
-
16 Free Ways To Celebrate Your Mom This Mother’s Day — And Yes, Hooters Is Involved
-
Feds Charge 18 People With Ringing Up $200 Million In Fraudulent Credit Card Charges
-
Scorpion Sting Was Nothing Compared To The $83,046 Hospital Bill For Treating It
-
Study: Weight Loss Programs Are Just As Good As Relying On Doc’s Advice To Shed Pounds
-
Chinese Restaurant Closed Because Roadkill Wasn’t On The Menu
Nothing is more relaxing than neurotoxin!
Dr. Fish looks like fun. I’ve always wanted to be eaten alive
I’m tired of these ***** snakes in this ***** spa!
My feet are quite bad, I wonder if the fish really work.
That first picture… the one referring to the “Other Face Lift”… ewww, it’s creeping me out. He needs a sign out front of his house, per Megan’s Law. Creeeeeeepy. Not Cool.
The bull sperm kind of ruins the happy ending part.
@verucalise:
Exactly, who wears a bowtie these days?
@verucalise: He kind of reminds me of Matt Lesko, of get free government money fame.
@Optimistic Prime: I remember seeing a story on the old Ripleys Believe It or Not w/ Jack Palance where they had a similar thing where you submersed your whole body in. Supposedly it worked wonders for psoriasis and other skin maladies. I have seen it in more recent television shows, but I don’t remember which ones.
Just goes to show ya, make up some rediculous ‘treatment’ and its ‘benefits’, charge a huge amount and people will get all excited about it. I could provide a similar service as number 3 in the list for a much more affordable price.
The thumbnail version of the snake picture made me think it was some strange Italian sausage treatment.
Snakes make much more sense.
@sleze69: that’s exactly what I thought. I couldn’t figure out how putting a sausage on your back would accomplish anything…
the other face lift? somebody better be getting paid a lot of money to perform that
@Git Em SteveDave is a poor substitute for LindsayJoy: Is that the guy who dresses up in that awful suit covered in dollar signs? If so, I can definitely see the resemblance?
That picture really creeped me out, too. The “other face lift” may only be listed as the #9 most disturbing spa treatment, but that picture may very well be the #1 most disturbing thing I see all day.
It’s a sad day when women are having surgery and “treatments” to rejuvenate their nether-regions. When will women stop criticizing their bodies and learn to love them the way they are? If you’re paranoid about the way your vagina looks then you have waaaaay too much time on your hands.
Getting a cocoa spa treatment is considered “Disturbing”?
I’d consider it yummy.
@womynist: I agree. I find your message uplifting. Perhaps you could make a play or a monologue about it
@kalemaat: Yes, he’s the guy in the dollar sign suit.
@verucalise
Yeah … I’m still cringing from that picture, and I’m a man!
Ask LESKO! (Is he still around? I havn’t seen him lately. That would be an interesting article, although I’m sure that it’s been done before… Does anything in that book actually make the book worth buying? I knew a guy that bought the book but I don’t know if he did anything with it…
>>3. Aberdeen Organic Bull Sperm Treatment
Hari’s Salon in London offers a hair treatment that uses bull sperm which supposedly moisturizes, brightens and repairs your hair.
Where are the “There’s Something About Mary” jokes?
The snake treatment looks like bratwurst. The Saussage Treatment
#3? Man I’ve got to stop eating those Mexican cheetos.
#2 is not really shocking. Since bird’s nest are consumed.
I’ve had the “fish treatment”. Quite often, actually, in the early summer. At my cottage there are a number of schools of small sunfish that seem very much interested in body parts (no skinny dipping at that time of year, natch). While it feels pretty neat and is most relaxing, it doesn’t actually do much.
Then again, different type of fish I suppose.
On my “list of things never to get near my crotch,” lasers come in pretty near the top.
@temporaryerror: I used to see his commercials when I still lived in the DC area, but not so much anymore. I’m not sure if it’s because he just doesn’t make any more commercials, or that Chicago already has more than enough tv characters to go around.
Anyway, I found this site that explains the content of Lesko’s books and why they’re such a rip-off. Basically, all he does is list federal and state government programs that anyone could easily find on their own, and since you can only be eligible for the programs in one state, the overwhelming majority of the book is going to be irrelevant for anyone who buys it.
I can’t believe someone would spend money for “organic bull sperm.” Do I believe for one moment that real bull sperm is being used- absolutely not. There’s probably a group of high school boys filling those bottles, if you know what I mean. What the heck is organic sperm, anyway?!
That’s nothing! I’m not supposed to say anything, so I’ll have to be deliberately vague. I know someone who works in a lab producing stem cells for various uses; most of them for scientific research. While nobody here knows me well enough for this to mean anything, I trust him completely. In any case, his company also “harvests” cells from circumcised infant foreskin for use in a facial skin cosmetic, marketed to reduce signs of age. He says, however, that nobody in his lab knows what company uses the cells, let alone in what specific product.
@kalemaat: He still makes the commercials. I live near DC, and about three years ago, I attended a filming of one of his infomercials. Everyone there got a free copy of several of his books, and the chance to ask him questions, so long as you’re willing to agree to be filmed doing so. I never made much use of the book though, as I let that self employment thing fall to the back burner. I can, however, vouch for the legitimacy of the Q&A segment. We really did get to ask unscripted questions, and he really did come up with knowledgeable answers on the spot.
@Darren W.: What?! Where do they get infant foreskin? Is there some kind of black market for circumcised foreskin? I figured the waste (ahem) went in those red biohazard bags and then went off to the dump.
Wow, I will never look at my moisturizer the same way again.
@MyPetFly: When I heard something about Mary going to the Aberdeen Organic Bull Sperm Treatment, I called Bull Bukkake on it. And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.
That movie was the first thing I thought of when I saw that “treatment”, too.
I’ll bet the bull sperm treatment is expensive. There is no amount of money in the world that would make me sign up to be a supplier.
@whatdoyoucare: A better question would be, what the heck is inorganic sperm?
Tee hee. Girls are funny.
Wait – so Bukkake is good for you? Can’t wait to try out that line the next time I’m at a club…
Bull semen in your hair? You betcha!
Over on Gawker, they call that a “Janka”.
Hmmm…would those fish get rid of my calluses and bunions? Or would I need, like…..a shark for that?
@whatdoyoucare: @The Count of Monte Fisto: It’s not the sperm that’s organic. It’s the bull. If the bull is organic, then so is its sperm.
And re: the birdshit facial, that’s really nothing, compared to what many cosmetic products are made out of. Whale puke is a common ingredient.
To be fair…if one enjoys snakes, and being slightly tickled, the snake thing is pretty much spot on. I wouldn’t pay for it, because I have a perfectly good substitute, though.
I loooooooooooove it when my bf does what we call ‘the back thing’ – he just lightly drags his fingertips all over my back. It’s so lovely and relaxing.
Snakes slithering on you is very similar. One of my friend’s pythons wound his way into my shirt on Earth Day (the herpetology club was on campus with their snakes as part of the festivities), and sometimes the scales catch you, but for the most part, it’s just a really light stroking feeling. It sounds way more dirty than it is :-X
My mom used to stroke my forearm like that when we’d watch TV together. A snake slithering on my arm felt exactly like that.
I wish I could have a snake
Um… is a “happy ending” not exotic enough anymore?
But how many women would even agree to be in the same building as the reptiles in #1, let alone have them on their back?? good grief!
@whatdoyoucare:
I thought it was pretty well known that many high end anti aging creams use placenta from animals or occasionally humans. That’s why I only buy cosmetics from companies that can’t afford black market medical waste. I’m too poor for the fancy fetus facials.
I don’t think the chocolate or beer treatments are “disturbing.” I’ve used cocoa powder in a home made body scrub before, and I know some people use dark beer as a hair conditioner.
I can’t believe bunghole bleaching didn’t make this list.
[www.villagevoice.com]
@Imaginary_Friend: I am so NOT clicking on that link.
@doctor_cos: No pictures involved, don’t worry, but the descriptions are pretty NSFF (Not Safe For Food). I’d thought I’d heard everything until I read about BriteSmile for Bungholes.
@Imaginary_Friend: Still….eeeeeewww. That and the picture above for The “Other” Face Lift…
I’ve actually heard of the fish treatment before. There’s a spa in this area that does it. They call it Dr. Fish. I think it’s weird but I kinda want to try it anyway. [www.yvonnesalon.com]