If you think wait staff is difficult on the mainland, you haven't seen anything. Here in Hawaii, they are likely to quit over a date, or a chance to go to the beach. With near zero unemployment, no problem, they'll be working down the street tomorrow. So if you noticed food service isn't so good in Hawaii restaurants, now you know why.

Aloha, [beatofhawaii.com]

I find being very nice to my waiters/waitresses and remembering their names goes a long way. Not to say they don't have bad days, but as long as I get what I ordered and the waiter/waitress wasn't too incredibly rude -- I'm actually quite happy. I don't expect A++ at most restaurants, but I do expect to sit back, have a couple drinks, and not have to worry about dishes later ;)

My pet peeve is when they take over a half an hour to check if you need a refill... I usually only have a couple hours without the demon children up my ass, so I want to fit in as much adult humor and liquor as I possibly can.

I'm thinking of the scene in the movie Roadtrip where the cook makes the french toast "better."

@beatofhawaii.com:
I've lived in Hawaii all my life and I've done my fair share of working around people in the food service industry and the only time I've seen someone quit was because the boss wouldn't let them go to some really huge football game (I think it was the Superbowl? I could be wrong) after asking in advance for vacation.

I like all of these, except #8. That just sounds like the server is being as whiny as his customers.

I've been reading the waiter rant blog for a while now. I'm planning to pick up his book this weekend -- he's an excellent writer and his stories are highly entertaining.

And yeah, be nice to your wait staff. Waiters tend to like me because I'm low-maintenance, understanding when problems arise and tip well.

You might also want to consider linking to his blog... [www.waiterrant.net]

I have a problem with #10 "if you cant aford to leave a tip, then you cant afford to eat at a restaurant" .

A tip is not automatic.... it is dependant upon GOOD QUALITY SERVICE by the waitstaff. You earn your tip. If I leave a bad tip (or no tip at all) its because you were a bad waiter/waitress.

Note: I refuse to frequent restaurants that include an automatic gratuity in the bill.

1. If a person was actually sick, Im sure management would have enough brains to send them home instead of have a dozen plus customers complain.

2. Spitting in people's food isn't part of being a pissed off server. It's part of being a complete disrespectful jerk who shouldn't be serving food in the first place. If things like these actually happen, I doubt they do so in respectable restaurants I patron anyways. Even so, I have enough courtesy to treat servers with RESPECT, thus making sure my food won't be tampered with in any way.

3. Going into ANY place 15 minutes before closing time guarantees employees to be pissed off - not just at restaurants.

This cynical waiter list just sounds like it was made up by some loser who lost his job.

@forgottenpassword: Reminds me of this scene from Resevoir Dogs:

I've been reading his blog for years. It's quite good. He sounds like he is quite good at his job actually.

4. Never say "I'm friends with the owner." Restaurant owners don't have friends. This marks you as a clueless poseur the moment you walk in the door.

Good advice. Bad explanation.

Restaurant owners do have friends. I've gone to restaurants where I was friends with the owners or managers. I did get a little bit more than if I were some average customer. However, I did not walk in acting like I owned the place nor did I tell the staff I was friends with their boss. The way it worked is that the person in charge with whom I was friends was either present on site that day or knew I was going to come and told the staff ahead of time.

@forgottenpassword: That's totally fair... but I don't think the point was that a tip should be automatic. My loser brother-in-law will walk into a nice-ish restaurant with $14 in his pocket and order an $11 entree and a $2 drink that comes to about $13.99 with tax. He'll piss and moan through the entire meal about how the server isn't bending over backwards to make him happy, and all the while KNOW that he's not going to leave a tip - even when the service is awesome.

@sparklingpink:

3. Going into ANY place 15 minutes before closing time guarantees employees to be pissed off - not just at restaurants.

Oh so true. I worked at a convenience store when I was a teenager. Now, we're talking about different time constraints. Fifteen minutes before closing did not bother us but we just loved it when people showed up after closing time and asked us to reopen just for them. Or people who walked in just a bit before closing time but for the love of god could not make up their mind about what they wanted. Or they had decided that a convenience store would be the perfect place for getting a week's worth of groceries.

I can easily see how restaurant staff would have a problem with people walking in 15 minutes before closing given that it is unlikely they'll be out of there quickly. But this kind of problem is not peculiar to restaurants.

@sparklingpink: I was working at the Olive Garden and came down with strep throat. I was on my way to the doctor and called in... management told me that if I didn't come in for my shift that I was gonna lose my job. Needless to say, I went to the doctor -after- working a lunch rush.

[bitterwaitress.com] - Shitty Tipper Database. Recently rebuilt, it used to be huge. Hope your name isn't on there :)

14. Food service is the lowest rung on the proverbial job ladder. We know the waiter hates his job and wants to be a playwright or an actor but that doesn't give him the right to do any of the things that he admits to above.

I currently work as a waiter in a fine dining restaurant, located in Manhattan. Overall I have worked in the industry for about 10 years. Despite a few of you thinking you know more than what was written, it's good to see that some people are getting an eyeopener.

@sparklingpink:

To the comments about if a manager saw you were sick, blah blah blah. Yeah that's not necessarily true. If you're sick you call in before you show up. It's a restaurant, not an accounting firm, generally everybody on the floor counts. And when you're down one unexpectedly and can't replace them before service starts you get pretty messed up during service. I have worked shifts while I was so sick I had to sit down on an empty milk crate in the kitchen every free moment I had. I came into work because I needed to make rent. Waiters don't get paid for not being there.

As for spitting, or as some waiters call it "enhancing", the food of a guest. It's not always spit, and it's not always biological. We'll serve you bottom shelf booze when you order top shelf for a mixed drink and charge you the same. We'll short pour every glass of wine you order, and when you're paying 14$/ glass for wine trust me you want all of what you can get.

On checks for bigger groups, groups that are so rude and obnoxious that people in the tables adjacent to them are annoyed, you will get check padding. When there is 12 people at your table, and they've been drinking, see how well everyone can recall how many drinks they've had, or how many sides sauteed spinach were ordered.

Wrapping food to take home after you whistled at me for my attention? Well I hope you like the box of food you just ordered violently shaken, or half the portion you're wrapping going into the garbage. You'll never check before you leave anyhow, and once you get home it's too late.

@forgottenpassword:

I think with the whole tip thing, he's making it assumed that the waiter HAS given good service. You'd be amazed at the kind of tips you receive from people eating at an expesive restaurant give after you've bent over backward for them politely for 2.5 hours.

I have so many stories about working in the industry I could tell. But maybe everyone planned on not being a shut in for the rest of their lives.

I'm a former restaurant manager, and while some restaurants may let/require employee's to work sick, it is not the norm in my opinion. I have sent staff home for being sick and even had to close a restaurant for the night due to a lack of adequate staffing. And while I have heard plenty of stories about people doctoring food, I have never witnessed this happening.

So this is a book about a waiter crying about his crappy job? Boo hoo, sorry that you decided to be part of the food service industry. Namely, the crap end of it. Some of the whines are just stupid:

#4? Yea people never have friends. This might be true of a restaurant like T.G.I. Fridays or Chili's, but upscale restaurant owners definitely make friends.

#6? This is just an ignorant threat. 'Mr. Disgruntled Waiter' would no sooner brandish cutters at you than he would at his own genitals.

#11? Proves that the person is already dishonest and basically just someone ranting on about how displeased he is with his job. Sorry bucko, go back to school or work at McDonalds, its probably more your speed.

@battra92:

Lowest rung? How so? Do you know how much money annually a waiter is capable of making and it doesn't even require a degree? You'd kick yourself if I told you.

And if you're bothered by what was said in the article, than you know you're a culprit and it makes you uneasy thinking of what HAS been done to you.

I'm a waiter, it's my job, no one has any right to treat me like an animal or a slave. If you think you can do that to anyone, in this day and age, you obviously have never read fight club. You don't mess with the people who rely on for your day to day living. It will come back and bite you in the ass.

@DashTheHand:

Do you know how many people I've had tell me, "I'm friends with the owner," or "I'm friends with so and so". Only for me to have that person they're friends with say "I don't know who the hell that is"

As for gratuities on larger parties. If you're going to act like some child who's never been to a fine dining restaurant than I'm not going to go OUT of my way to tell you about the gratuity that is CLEARLY marked on the check, and even then, even when I hate the person who's treated me like crap the whole night, I will still circle it. After that, you're on your own to sober up enough to read your own bill.

@sparklingpink: I have a feeling that you've never worked in a restaurant. From the Waffle House to Jean Georges kitchens and servers operate the same basic way, so think again when you're hassling a waiter because your unlimited breadsticks at the Olive Garden didn't come quickly enough.

@brooksosheffield: When I managed a food establishment EVERYBODY came in sick. If you are scheduled and you came down with the AIDS AND both your parents just died, you had STILL better show up for work. Maybe people will understand that better?

@sparklingpink: Not true. That's why there are so many outbreaks of rotovirus at restaurants, because they make their sick employees come in and handle everyone's food, and then 100 people all get sick at the same time.

As for tipping, I wish the industry went towards a decent wage for restaurant workers. Assuming that everyone is gonna tip is a bad idea.

Yet another reason to eat at home.

@Jubilance22:

You mean the $4.60/hr we get paid in NYC isn't sufficient to live my life happily? Weird, because there are a lot of people who eat out in New York that seem to think so. :D

@forgottenpassword: Here's my 2 cents on the tipping issue.

#1 - Remember, wait staff make their money from tips. When I worked as a server, I made $3.30/hr base wage. Unless the service is utterly horrible from your waiter/waitress, tip them at least the 18% minimum (yes, it's up from 15%). If they did a bad job, then you be the judge on what to leave - but I would rather you leave nothing than leave the random change from your pocket. That's just a slap in the face.

#2 - Not affording a tip and simply refusing to pay up on one are two very different things.

@brooksosheffield: Wow, your b-i-l is a great example of what the guys means by 'if you can't afford a tip, you can't afford to eat out.'

@forgottenpassword: You're wrong. Tips are not for extraordinary service. Tips are a given and expected part of the restaurant experience. It's how how waiters get paid -- they don't get normal salaries, like waiters in Europe, for example, where customers are tip very little unless service is particularly fantastic.

@mikesfree: Live a little, for god's sake.

Food service people come into work sick. Office workers come into work sick. Everybody comes into work sick. Not saying it's right, but the guy coughing all over that report he just handed me is just as big a risk as the guy coughing all over my sandwich.

Frankly, it's more understandable for an hourly wageslave who doesn't get paid if he doesn't work versus someone on salary with sick days who just wants to save his sick time for sunny days at the beach.

Amazing, the comments about how this person is whining and they should get a real job...You all make me sick.

The wok ethic in this country has taken such a downturn we are forced to resort to import illegal labor to do the jobs that are below white folks. The food service industry is hard work, jobs that take skill and talent to perform well. It can be rewarding but there are bad days too.

Stop degrading every job that doesn't require college. Not everyone has the aptitude for university or the desire to spend tens of thousands of dollars for a mediocre education in what is basically a rite of passage.

@sparklingpink: This may happen on your planet, but here on Earth if you call in dead to work many restaurant managers want your corpse to still show up...

Many restaurants with automated ordering systems report tips to the IRS as a percentage of server sales - this doubly screws your waitstaff if you grossly undertip.

My pop waited tables for 30 years - called in sick 2 times, in 30 years.

It's an unappreciative suckass job - don't be a douchebag to your waitstaff.

@christoj879:

I'd say IF found out.... its grounds for firing a waiter/waitress for posting the names of their customers on the net.

@Mr_Human: I said "good quality service" not "extraordinary service". If you think good quality service is the equal of extraordinary service ... think again. And the whole idea that a tip should be given no matter what is what is wrong with the industry.

@sparklingpink: I agree 100%. This is not a great writer who's writing a cool tell-all. This is a whining, sniveling loser who hates waiting tables. Get to the back of the line. I can't stand people who complain about waiting tables. If you hate it/people so much, get another job and quit bitching!

4. Never say "I'm friends with the owner." Restaurant owners don't have friends. This marks you as a clueless poseur the moment you walk in the door.

Sigh. Yet another case of 'big king in a small fiefdom' syndrome. If dealing with jerks bothers you, then get out of the service industry.

You should probably also read Anthony Bourdain's "Kitchen Confidential"!

"but don't ask for water, lemon, and sugar so you can make your own lemonade."

Holy shit. Do people actually do this?

@forgottenpassword: No, actually you're wrong. The standard 15% tip (I don't agree that it has magically been raised to 18%) is you paying for the service of someone bringing your meal, drinks, condiments, etc to you as opposed to standing in front of a cash register having your meal handed to you and you take care of the rest.

If you received 'poor' service, then it is reduced to 10% and if you received excellent service it gets upped to 18%-20%. If you have an issue with 'the industry' than don't support it. Don't make every waiter/waitress the target of your little mini rebellion. On the other hand, if you want the food, it is customary to also pay for the service which comprises the total cost of eating in a sit-down restaurant.

The only excuse for not leaving a tip at all was that you received deplorable service. At which point the manager should be notified. Not receiving timely drink refills qualifies as 'poor' not 'deplorable'. Outright rudeness is another story.

So, if you don't want to pay tips, don't go to an establishment where tips are customary. If you can't afford the tip, you can't afford to eat at that particular restaurant.

I was a waiter for a while. Worst job ever. The tips are only good if you work friday or saturday night. It is not worth bieng a waiter/waitress if you have to work any other night. If you aren't sleeping with the management, or providing the management with blow/pain pills then chances are you won't get scheduled for only friday/sat night. On top of the people customers are a pain in ass when it comes to food. Old people complain over everything, they didn't ask for a special order, they didn't read the menu, they didn't ask what was in "it". STFU and stop complaining.

Lastly, if you order something to "Try out" and you don't like it, why would you expect it removed from the bill? Atleast tell your waiter/waitress that the food tastes funny rather than "I didn't like it, I don't like fish". DON'T ORDER FISH YOU SUCK HEAD!!!!!!

@Cupajo: If a restaurant doesn't offer unsweetened iced tea, I'll sometimes order a cup of tea, a glass of ice and a lemon wedge so I can make my own. If I do, I always leave an extra tip, though.

@Mr_Human: Expected? Maybe. That does NOT excuse the serber from needing to *earn* that tip. I'm not saying it's right that they need to rely on them to make a living wage. It isn't. But you do NOT get a generous tip for providing poor service just because of your plight.

Like anything else, the wage you make will be directly related to the quality of your work. If you truly do a poor job waiting my table, you will receive either a small tip or nothing. And you'll have received exactly what you deserve for a job poorly done.

On the opposite side, if you are polite, attentive, get things right, and do a proper job of checking in without harassing us too much while we enjoy our meal, you will receive a tip in line with the service. The only exception is when I travel on business, where I am limited to a 15% tip if I want reimbursement from my company for the expenses. There have been times when I would have liked to give more.

I will back up the sick claim. I came in and worked my shift at a restaurant with a 102 degree fever. Someone else didn't show up for their shift (and did get fired) so my boss just made me work a double without a break.

And I was 16.

I tip between 10 and 20 percent, depending on service. (average about 17 percent since I eat at a lot of places where I am a "regular"). I'm actually kind of sick of it. I'd be fine if the server was paid a fair wage, the cost was rolled into the menu price, and I could just speak to the manager when something was wrong.

@Tallanvor: I've read his blog many times. He's a good writer. I hope his book works out.

@SOhp101: That and #7. Asking for food that they don't have is unreasonable, but asking to alter a dish shouldn't be a problem for the poor, over-worked chef. I substitute and ask them to cook differently all the time and always within reason (substitute down, never up, and nothing exotic). I'm sorry, chefs, but I just can't eat numbered dishes that have been optimized to satisfy the maximum number of people. If that breaks your mechanical rhythm, then screw you, go talk to your boss about it, and don't fix me the "generic menu dish" anyway.

And what's this about home run every time? I can tell you that often they can not make the dish the same every time, even without alterations. Maybe the really upscale places that don't rotate or churn their chefs can, but I hope those places have the dignity to do what the customer is asking for his money.

@B: Yeah, that's perfectly reasonable. You're paying for one product and converting it to another. Nothing wrong with that.
But asking for a bunch of free shit (water, lemon, sugar) so you can avoid the buck-fifty charge for lemonade is just being a cheap bastard.

@mdot:

I disagree.... a tip has to be earned. ANd simply writing down my order & bringing my meal to my table does not warrant an automatic tip. I've tipped fantastic waitstaff who did their jobs extremely well, And I have neglected to tip those who basically dropped the plate on my table without a word & never saw them again until I had to literally get up to find the them to ask for my check. IMO simply adequate service deserves a tip. Inadequate service does not. And I dont expect waitstaff to do backflips while serving me. I expect them to be somewhat personable, moderately attentive & accurate.

And I already said that I dont frequent restaurants that require an automatic gratuity included in the bill.