Entire Chicken Fits Into 50 oz Can

Science has taken us to Mars, plumbed the twilight depths of the ocean, and manipulated the very fibers of existence on the subatomic level, and now, minus giblets, put an entire chicken into a can. Commenter AlexTNOA alerts us that you can get it on Amazon, too, where the writeup says it’s, “…ready for soups, stews and quick dinners…Great to have on-hand in your pantry for emergency dinners.” Hm, how might those instructions read…something like: Open can, plop contents on plate, cover with plastic wrap, cook in microwave on high for 60 seconds, remove plate and wrapper, sculpt contents into shape of chicken. Serves 3-5…

(Thanks to Robert!)

Comments

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  1. B says:

    3 lbs seems about right for one chicken minus the bones. I assume no beak, feet or feathers, either.

  2. Packed in Brine?
    Packed in British Columbia?
    Packed in Brown Goo?

  3. CaliCheeseSucks says:

    This feels like a product made by whoever makes Spam.

  4. AlexTNOA says:

    Old news. Sweet Sue has been doing this for years (notice the gourmet food header!):

    [www.amazon.com]

    Caw!

  5. ConsumptionJunkie says:

    Disgusting!

  6. emona says:

    Words fail me. And the chicken look so happy!
    You just don’t get those kinds of smiles when you buy frozen or fresh.

  7. SkokieGuy says:

    Minus the giblets? That’s not a whole chicken. I ay false advertising! Executive carpet bomb!

    sarcasm / off

  8. uomdeacon says:

    This magical product belongs in the aisle of fame, much like the Hamburger in a can.

  9. Ben Popken says:

    @Ash78: I vote for brine.

  10. weakdome says:

    I used to keep a can of “Spam, with Cheese!” on my desk at work, for shock value (or to eat if we ever got thrown into a lockdown for several days).

  11. zigziggityzoo says:

    @Ash78: Packed in Broth, I would assume.

  12. speedwell (propagandist and secular snarkist) says:

    It is a whole (suitably trimmed) chicken and yes, it is packed in broth. It’s a very small whole chicken. It makes decent emergency cat food if you debone it and put it in the blender with some canned pumpkin (for fiber) and a cat vitamin. It’s really not so hot for humans.

  13. SkokieGuy says:

    Follow me on this…..I was thinking about an old joke about a resturaunt serving a kid’s menu entree – Clown Burger, made from 100% ground clown.

    So I went to look for a visual. I am so disturbed by this, luncheon meet with a clown face, deli sliced to order.

    [static.flickr.com]

    Just imagine it in the slicer! “I’ll have a half pound of clown bologna please”

  14. Once they figure out FRIED chicken in a can I’m totally in.

  15. Leohat says:

    Can I get that with some Bacon in a Can?

  16. marike says:

    I remember seeing this in a store when I first moved to Hawaii 4 years ago. I took a picture and sent it to my vegetarian brother. He dared me to buy one and open it, but I was afraid.

  17. picardia says:

    This seems like an “emergency dinner” not for, you know, unexpected guests, but for the post-apocalypse shelter. Right in there with the red coconut Zingers.

  18. ReidFleming says:

    I’ve been known to keep a can of chicken breast meat around to mix with some Stove Top stuffing for an easy meal. I don’t think I could do the whole chicken in a can thing. I’m having trouble with scale here as I can’t quite picture a 50 oz. can.

  19. imaLttlGrl says:

    @marike: I’m with you, I would be scared to open it up and see what is inside.

    I keep imagining opening the giant can with a can opener and a whole little chicken pops out, like those Cornish hens. That would definitely cause some nightmares.

  20. ChuckECheese says:

    @Leohat: check out http://www.canned-bacon.com for your canned bacon.

    College Inn used to make canned chicken. My stepmother made an evil stepmother-ish dish of canned whole chicken, cream of chicken soup, canned mixed vegetables, and Bisquick dumplings. I’m surprised the salt content alone didn’t give us strokes.

  21. welsey says:

    @SkokieGuy: MMMMMMM. Next time I go to the UK I’m gonna buy some clown meat and have a deliciously terrifying sandwich.

    I really like canned food abuses such as this chicken.

  22. @imaLttlGrl: Even better if you he looked at you and went, “Thank you, I’ve been in there for ages!”.

    I wonder if anyone calls the company and asks them if they have Chicken in a can, cuz if they do, they better let it it, how’s it supposed to breathe?

  23. choinski says:

    In six months time a “whole” chicken will magically fit in a 45 oz can.

  24. Farquar says:

    I’m very dissapointed we do not have a picture of the chicken sans the can. I really want to see whats inside. And no, I’m never going to spend my own money to buy it and find out.

  25. SkokieGuy says:

    My parents buy canned salmon that contains the entire visible spinal column mixed into the chunks of flesh with skin attached.

    “Just mash it up, you won’t know it’s there. The bones are what give you the calcium”. Says Mom.

    Blech – say I.

    And I’m not a vegitarian why?

  26. IrisMR says:

    Sounds right to me. Frankly, when you remove all the bones, a chicken can easily fit in there.

  27. hardtoremember says:

    I almost bought one of these at Albertsons a couple of weeks ago!
    We’ve canned a hamburger, cooked bacon, and now a whole chicken!
    What can’t be canned?

  28. bohemian says:

    They used to sell these at the discount poverty grocery store before it went out of business. I never had the courage to buy one and peek in the can. I can only imagine it tastes somewhere as horrid as canned ham. Ham, that tastes like a can.

    Both belong on a list of bomb shelter quality food.

  29. Craig says:

    So many things wrong with this picture. Not the least of which is the price…$6.19 for a whole chicken? A 50 oz. whole fresh chicken runs around $4.00 in the local supermarket around here. I’m not sure the extra $2.19 to have it stuffed into a can can be considered “added value.”

  30. Walrii says:

    @Craig: But a fresh chicken sure goes bad fast when you don’t refridgerate/freeze it. If I was preparing a Y2K bunker right now, I would probably buy one or two just to add some meat to the diet (spam does NOT count as meat).

  31. MBZ321 says:

    @Craig: I was thinking the same thing. I can pick up a hot rotisserie chicken any day for $5-6 bucks at a number of grocery stores.

  32. sparklingpink says:

    Nasty.

  33. robertseaton says:

    Is is “broth”. I was in an Asian grocer and saw this on the shelf. Could not resist taking a picture. And no…I am not going to open one…blech!

  34. incognit000 says:

    This…is…AWESOME!

    I wonder if it tastes like a tin can or like hormones and chicken poop.

  35. Applekid ┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ) says:

    My experience with canned chicken? Quite similar in flavor and texture to canned tuna. Seriously.

  36. Jabberkaty says:

    We all laugh, until the apocalypse comes. Then we break down the door of the people with all the canned chicken.

    That’s why I’m fervently stockpiling battering rams rather than food.

    I like to think ahead.

  37. The Master of Reason says:

    I bought one of those as a joke a couple of years back, and put it on the shelf in my apartment building’s laundry room where everybody keeps their detergents.

    One day we took it and opened it up – what was inside was kind of a smallish chicken, skinned and boiled, and packed in brine. I would estimate the brine probably accounted for 30% of the can’s contents.

    It tasted like…….(drumroll)….salty chicken. The texture was very mushy, not unlike canned tuna (thanks Applekid, that is spot on). The chicken still had most of its fat on there.

    I bought it for the shock value, but the more I think about this fact the weirder it is. Why is it that we as Americans are so far removed from our food? I mean, there’s nothing worse about a canned chicken than a can of tuna fish, and there’s nothing worse about that than a can of sardines. It is strange to me that we hate being reminded that our food actually comes from animals, and that we demand the abstraction of a pre-cut chicken breast or steak.

  38. crazyasianman says:

    the question is, would you use the battering ram on people with Spam? I still have a can of Spam lite that a buddy bought for me as a joke back in 2000. I intend to keep it until I retire or until I’m around 60ish and see how it looks… then feed it to someone who doesn’t suspect a thing.

  39. The Master of Reason says:

    @crazyasianman: This is exactly my point. What makes Spam inherently better or worse than cold cut bologna? It’s essentially the same product, except one is packed with nitrates in a can and the other isn’t.

    What makes us so willing to turn up our noses at perfectly good food? Maybe it would be better with pomegranate juice on it, right?

  40. doctor_cos wants you to remain calm says:

    [www.amazon.com]
    Wholesome goodness! Buy a case now.

  41. Jabberkaty says:

    @crazyasianman: Desperate times call for desperate measures.

    I ate spam as I kid, I can do it again. Right before I go back to hunting and gathering. :)

  42. snazzycarrot says:

    @SkokieGuy:
    When I was a kid, my sisters and I used to fight over those canned salmon bones. GOOD EATIN’!

  43. miketurk says:

    Canned whole chicken (at least the Sweet Sue brand) has been available for decades. It’s nothing special or disgusting; it’s just a boiled chicken in broth. Same sort of thing you’d do if you were making chicken noodle from scratch.

  44. gmoney says:

    @Applekid: I would totally expect that to be honest. Canned chicken, tuna and salmon are all about the same to me.

  45. dronf says:

    These things are disgusting. More like chicken jello in a can. Out of boredom i tossed one off the roof of a four story building. It hit the ground like a water balloon, leaving a greasy circular stain about 10 feet in diameter.

    I hope nobody slipped in it.

  46. rdldr1 says:

    A whole canned chicken for $6.19? Its cheaper to buy a fresh whole chicken around here in Chicago, about $3.

    Also, I feed canned chicken to my dog. I’ve tried this canned chicken, and its disgusting. I couldnt help it, the artificial dies made it look tender and juicy. Eating it was like water-soaked cardboard.

  47. Jeff says:

    Weird. I have an almost identical photo in my Flickr photostream (it’s not the same one, though). Mine was taken at an Albertson’s in Las Vegas.

  48. TimeDoctor says:

    someone needs to make canned water soaked cardboard now, which will, presumably, taste like chicken.

  49. azntg says:

    So, one thing I learned from the Consumerist today: They have canned version of EVERYTHING! Amazing!

  50. outofoffice says:

    Alot of harsh comments regarding can of whole chicken!

    The reality though is if you eat canned soups, canned vegetables, tuna or anything out of a can, what is so different of abhorent about this particular product other than the fact it’s a whole chicken stuffed in a can produced by a company that makes tuna and other routinely eaten canned goods?

    In other words, I don’t suspect it’s any better or worse than hundreds of other canned items, just happens to be a chicken in a can :)

  51. audiochick says:

    @SkokieGuy: I used to work for a company that canned salmon. My job was answering the consumer comments line. I don’t know how many times I had to explain to people that the bones, once cooked and sealed in the cans, are edible. I was a vegetarian at the time (still am) and it never got less disgusting to tell people to eat fish bones.

    *gag*

  52. witeowl says:

    @hardtoremember: Me. I cannot be canned. (Yet.)

  53. Concerned_Citizen says:

    If this grosses you out, you definitely don’t want to get chicken in a fast food restaurant. At least you know this chicken came from a can, with fast food there is are no guarantees.

  54. AlexTNOA says:

    Sorry about the old news part – didn’t read the new code of conduct before I posted.

    In other news – there is a society based in Champaign, IL which regards the Sweet Sue canned chicken as an idol of sorts. If you ever make it to Mike N Molly’s on Market St in downtown Champaign, ask your bartender about the can which is on one of the top shelves behind the bar.

  55. Doug Nelson says:

    The Sweet Sue chicken is yummy, and I regularly buy and use the canned chicken breast. I can’t see how this would be a bad thing. My only objects is calling it a whole chicken, when they also admit to cutting out 2/3 of it.

  56. ChuckECheese says:

    @outofoffice: Let me help you understand. Chix-in-the-can is a sad category unto itself.

    When you open a can of whole chicken, the first thing you notice is a whiff of sulfur. That’s the chicken meat giving off reaction products as a result of being pressure-cooked. Then you smell the chicken. But it’s far more pungent than any chicken you’ve ever smelled before. It’s like eau de chicken cologne that you’d sniff at the dollar store on a dare.

    Look into the can. Depending how warm or cool the contents are, the chicken fat is either a congealed orange glob on top, or a runny slick. There will be bits of detached skin and other matter too. Now you have to figure out what you’re going to do with this bird. Do you strain it? Scoop it out? Meanwhile, the intense chicken smell is getting on your nerves. “Chicken doesn’t usually smell this way,” you think. “Could this one be bad?” Don’t worry–it’s not bad–not very bad anyway.

    No matter how you remove the critter, it will fall apart. That’s what you get when you pressure-cook a small chicken in a large amount of water, truck it cross-country, and subject it to various abuses during stocking.

    The chicken is shocking white with a tinge of gray, and probably some odd yellow spots where the chicken fat stained the meat. It looks like a can of boiled Barbies. Check for pinfeathers too, since these things don’t get spa treatment before being preserved with a salt tablet. You may feel mildly grateful that they left the giblets out, although the contents probably look like they added a few in.

    There are random bones sticking out and the meat is falling apart before you decide how you’re going to go about dismembering it. Don’t worry–it’s so soggy that it will collapse in the merest breeze. The hard part is picking out all the slimy gray skin and separating out the boiled gristle and small bones. Just squish it between your fingertips.

    There’s a lot of liquid in the can. The chicken is not much bigger than a game hen. The whole thing reminds you of those specimen jars in your high school biology classroom. “Canned chicken is sad,” you say to yourself, and, “What should I do with it?” You spent so much time playing with it that you forgot that you plan to eat it.

    Whatever you do, don’t add salt. There’s enough in there to melt the ice off the wings of a 747. Be sure to schedule extra time to get the slime off your hands, countertops, dishes, cupboards, clothes and jewelry.

    The company that brings you Chicken Readyâ„¢ is Castleberry’s. Be sure to check out their FAQ, since the first question is a hoot: [www.castleberrys.com] Strangely, I can’t find the canned chicken on their website, although other canned chicken-related substances are listed.

  57. iMike says:

    Is there a shot of the contents of the can? Or is that PG-13?

  58. Fitwit says:

    ‘Packed in Brine’. Is that a city in North Carolina ?

  59. racordes says:

    Oh, god, I remember when I was a kid, my mom bought a chicken in a can. We opened it and dumped it in a pan and it came out like it was being born and it was all rubbery and white and it made you think just realize that it was something dead in a can with watery stuff all around it. The only thing that would have made it worse is if there had been blood in the can too. It was one of those unison EEEWWWW moments. Even the bones were rubbery. Nobody ate it and we were poor. I think we ate oatmeal that night for supper. Just remembering the way it looked coming out of the can is still enough to make me gag.

  60. Dustbunny says:

    In a weird coincidence, I just watched the Twilight Zone episode where Charles Bronson and Elizabeth Montgomery are the only survivors of a humongous war — they’re in a deserted restaurant and he opens a can of chicken, pulls out a drumstick and starts chowing down on it. I’m not sure what this means — when the world ends we’ll be grateful for chicken-in-a-can?

  61. Mom2Talavera says:

    @B: Yup nothing to really indicate that it was an animal.

    Americans hate offal.

  62. evilhapposai says:

    I assume this one is bone free and kinda the same as canned tuna just with chicken instead. But, no idea where it came from, we once had a canned whole chicken WITH BONES. They were those little tiny bone that people die choking on. I have no idea what could have been cooked with it unless you plan on using a strainer and making broth only with it…..seems alot easier to just buy a can of broth.

  63. cheeley says:

    @ChuckECheese: Hmmm. Evocative.

  64. bkonkel says:

    @Ash78: Brains, definitely brains.

  65. MostNutsEver says:

    Step 1: Remove from can

    Step 2: Place chicken in toilet

  66. rdldr1 says:

    @audiochick: I have eaten canned salmon, and yes I have eaten the salmon bones. Newsflash; its a good source of calcium.

  67. RChris173 says:

    Why is the full resolution of the picture shown? Or is that done on purpose?

  68. ian937262 says:

    I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. Ok. All better now.

  69. Teapotfox says:

    @ReidFleming: I think all the different comment threads are getting tangled up in my mind, because my tired eyes read that as “I’ve been known to keep a can of chicken breast milk around,” which my mind is still struggling to parse.

  70. Teapotfox says:

    @SkokieGuy: My mom makes salmon croquettes with canned salmon, bones and all, and they’re quite tasty! (I do recall finding out what “the little white things” were at some point in my childhood… a horrified, albeit temporary, personal croquette boycott ensued.) Really, though, the pressure cooking during the canning process makes them quite soft and not very noticeable when cooked with other ingredients. I think I actually notice them less than whiskery little anchovy bones, come to think of it.

    The idea of a chicken in a can having bones of a similar texture is repulsive, however, and I sincerely hope it does not.

  71. Mozoltov, motherfucker says:

    @Teapotfox: What exactly ARE the little white things? I won’t eat any canned fish with bones.

  72. Teapotfox says:

    @cubensis: Salmon vertebrae, I imagine. It’s not uncommon to find a few little individual vertebrae even after you mix the canned salmon all up with other ingredients, as my mother does to make her croquettes. Here’s a picture of what you’ll find mixed in a can of salmon:

    [flickr.com]

    They look icky and bony, but they are impossibly soft and much more delicate than they appear. They are so soft that most of them are obliterated just by mixing the salmon, and they don’t really have a flavour.

  73. danthefreakinman says:

    @AlexTNOA:

    Looks like this should have made the morning deals. Only $5.69 each if you buy 6! Now that’s what I call bargain shopping.

  74. chiggers says:

    @PhilVillarreal: They do have fried chicken in a can. Check this out

  75. savvy999 says:

    @Teapotfox: Salmon patties from a can is a staple recipe of mine. Take everything in the can (sometimes I pick out the spine and skin, sometimes not), mix it with bread crumbs, basil, salt and pepper, then fry on each side for a couple of minutes in a pan. Serve with fresh lemon wedges and some greens on the side. It’s delicious.

    While I’m generally a fresh, local-food fanatic, there’s nothing wrong with dipping into the tinned-meats department for a treat every once in a while.

  76. LogicalOne says:

    I suppose Sam’s Club will switch from fresh/frozen chicken in the meat dept. to this and tout it as being better for the environment: more units/pallet, no refrigeration, no special handling, etc. First square milk containers and now this.

  77. ringo00 says:

    @chiggers: This isn’t really chicken, though. It is vegetarian.

  78. Breach says:

    It can take its place next to the Hamburger in a can