Here at the Consumerist we get a lot of emails requesting more “happy stories.” While we wait for some to happen, here are 13 headlines we would love to write. They are in no particular order.
- Sears Repairman Buys A Calendar, Looks At It
- Record High Personal Savings Rate Imperils Credit Card Industry Profits
- Person With Consumer Protection Background To Run CPSC
- Best Buy Geek Squad Replaces Your Current Porn With New, Better Porn
- Company Responds To Website’s Fact-Checking Inquiry With Speed And Accuracy
- Do American Airlines’ New Complimentary Hot Fudge Sundaes Come With Too Many Sprinkles?
- Wal-Mart Receipt Checker Shrugs Shoulders, Says, Yeah, We Know It’s Total Bullshit Anyway
- CSRS Complain About Hold Times To Speak With Busy Customers
- Newspaper Wire Service Quotes Consumer News Blog By Name
- Finally Accepting Reality, Microsoft Debuts “Refurbished XBOX 360 Of The Month Club”
- Sprint To Pay Canceling Customers $50 “Sorry We Disappointed You” Refund
- “Help! I Signed Up For FiOS And Verizon Sent Me Too Many Free LCD TVs!”
- Payday Lenders Close Due To Lack Of Interest
(Photo: El Grande Mono )
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@Michael Belisle: Why? 71 one is the new 30.
@Bladefist: Learn to talk.
@Bladefist: Apparently. Just look at Mugabe, an 84-year-old clinging to power with the vigor of dictators half his age.
The sprinkles one made me laugh so hard I nearly choked on my own spit. Here’s one from me:
“AT&T Wiretaps Government Offices, Accountability Discovered”
@B: not as good as this famous sign:
[www.forsythe4kc.com]
I’ve got a headline I’d love to see: “Consumerist.com stops exagerating their headlines. Maintains Journalistic Integrity.”
@notallcompaniesareevil: “@zentex: It’s in Spokane, WA:”
Indeed it is, just East of Pines Rd. on Sprague Ave. The store is called “The White Elephant.”
Wow, like everyone and their brother beat me to explaining the pic… I loved White Elephant growing up! Still weird to me to see Spokane mentioned anywhere!
@notallcompaniesareevil: OMG, you’re a shill that actually puts your shillhood right in your username…that’s awesome! I wish ALL the shills did that.
Anyway, to answer your “point” (man, I wish I could make those quotes bigger), all perpetrators of fraud have customers. Just because you can con people into using your service doesn’t mean you have a valid or valuable service — it might, as in the case of payday lenders, mean that you’re preying on the poor and desperate, and that you’re managing to successfully hide your %500+ interest rates successfully. Neither are very good defenses for continuing to allow those places to exist, now, are they?
Also, @INsano ~ you are a genius.
Let’s hear it for the White Elephant. Big shout out to Spovegas Washington.
God I love that store.
Donald Trump IS Fired!!!
Banks lower interest on mortgages, raise interest on savings accounts & resumes those free toasters and/or luggage sets with any $50 deposit in a checking account! And No annoying ChexSystems report!