The World's 5 Worst Ways To Get Drunk
We had a sense that some readers may have been put off by The Most Expensive Spirits In The World. We realize now that there are many people who are only willing to spend a few pennies to get drunk, even if it means massive organ damage or death. For those people, Cracked has assembled a list of The World's 5 Worst Ways To Get Drunk. The list, inside...
5. Tharra
This spirit native to India boasts a 90% alcohol content and is made by fermenting the mash of sugar cane pulp in ceramic containers. One unfortunate characteristic of the stuff is if you let it sit long enough it turns toxic. Tharra kills hundreds of people per year.
4. Russian Aftershave
Many poor Russians have turned to "surrogate" alcohol, which is basically any product with a high alcohol content. Russian aftershaves are a popular item since some have a 97% alcohol content.
3. Thunderbird
It is a "fortified wine" and typically contains 17.5% alcohol. Thunderbird was introduced by Ernest and Julio Gallo Winery after the end of prohibition. It was marketed to low income drinkers in America. Their radio ads featured these lyrics: "What's the word / Thunderbird / How's it sold? / Good and cold / What's the jive? / Bird's alive / What's the price? / Thirty twice." Despite its yellow color, Thunderbird turns your lips and tongue black when consumed in large quantities.
2. Pruno
Pruno is a famous jailhouse drink which is typically made from different available fruits, sugar, ketchup and bread for its yeast. Basically the ingredients are put into a Ziploc bag, heated occasionally, strained and served. It is legendary for its foul taste.
1. Changaa
Changaa is an illegal drink which is popular in Kenya. It is a libation made from distilled grains such as maize and sorghum. Changaa is usually controlled by the criminal gangs who often spike batches with jet fuel, battery acid or formalin. Obviously, this stuff kills many people every year.
Nectar of the Broke: The World's 5 Worst Ways To Get Drunk [Cracked]
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Used to sell quite a bit of Thunderbird to the local whinos when I worked in a slummy grocery store. Also, lots of Mad Dog.
Two worst personal drinking ideas in college:
1 - jello shots with everclear
2- drinking a whole bottle of Cisco.
What? No Boone's farm? No Schlitz?
No Night Train or MD 50/50?
Maybe they should consider a Top 50 or 100 list.
My personal worst way:
Everclear in Hawaiian punch.
@SaveMeJeebus: worst thing I EVER did to myself in college was jell-o and everclear. I cant actually remember the party I was at where I did like 8 of them, 3 beers, and took stacker 3.
slow news day?
anyway, read the whole article, i love cracked articles, one of the funniest sites on the web.
No Colt-45? Homeless people and college students everywhere share a sigh of relief.
I love Arbor Mist. It makes me feel poor, but at least it hasn't killed me (yet).
@Changaa:
WTF?! Isn't the point of cutting an illegal prodcut with other products to make a smaller batch go further, thereby increasing your profit margins?
How can any of those (esp. jet fuel) bea cheaper than distilled grains?
Red Bull + vodka = bad
Jack Daniels and Gatorade Frost OR Fruit Punch.
Blackout + Hangover city.
"I used to fly that Thunderbird, but now I've crashed and burned..." - Michael Longcor, "I Can't Party (as Hearty as I Partied when I Partied at 21)"
Yeah. Everclear punch and Cisco were fixtures in my college dorm room. Loved that cheap booze!
www.bumwine.com
youre welcome.
Everclear + kool-aid powder + Sprite = tasty, but deadly.
I feel a little more relieved that nothing I regularly drink is on that list
I used to really love some St. Ides. That malt liquor tasted just like kool-aid! Then I graduated to Arbor Mist.
God I miss Phil Hartman
What, no Purple Drank?
Oddly enough Night-Train tastes just like Manishevitz. Guess that means that us Jews have been drinking bum wine for generations without even knowing it!
@Dead Wrestlers Society: I think the worst idea I had was to attempt to make flaming doctor peppers using Inca Pisco & Everclear in place of amerreto and 151. And then not bothering to light it to burn off any of it's drunkening power.
I was actually usually pretty good after a bottle of cisco or MD 20/20 though. Those were the "smuggle into concerts" drink(s) of choice...
St Ides, OE, Colt45, Red Bull (the malt liquor, not the 'energy drink').
In a pinch, regionally here in the northeast, we could also count on Golden Anniversary, Natty Bo, Carling Black Label, and Mickey's Big Mouth to get us through the night.
I am also proud that not a drop of the aforementioned draughts has touched my lips in decades. Ugh, it's nice to be old and well-paid.
Where's Uncle Jemima's Malt Whiskey? You get twice as drunk for half the price!
[www.broadcaster.com]
Ever do Edward-40-Hands?
Pre-game in college was everyone had to bring 2 40's of some crappy malt liquor. You then have to duct tape them to your hands. Can't take them off until your St. Ides or Colt 45 Power Horse are empty.
I drank most of a bottle of Southern Comfort one night, it was sweet and delicious, can you blame me? I definitely blamed myself the next day with my horrid hangover... the worst was the two-day stomach ache.
All you kids from Texas,
you grow so big and tall.
All of them kids from Texas
they grow so big and tall.
All of them like to roam
in that T-Bird hall.
Get hi-hi-high.
Really makes you feel so fine,
really goes down so smooth,
really puts you in the groove.
Have you heard? What's the word?
It's Thunderbird.
/ZZ Top FTW!
ergh, that's all so disgusting! I just wouldnt drink at all, if I had those 5 choices.
Jenkem: fermented shit
[en.wikipedia.org]
/ok, so it's actually for getting high, not drunk, but still worth a mention.
Bumwines for the ultimate discovery of cheap liquor.
I recall having copious amounts of Tusker Lager in Kenya. Rumor has it, they used formaldehyde to keep it 'fresh'. Possibly the worst hangover of my life.
How about methanol? Gets you drunk, gets you blind...I'd say that's pretty bad. Worse than Russian aftershave, at least.
What about alcohol-based soap?
@silver-spork: red bull + anything = bad. Amp + Vodka, on the other hand = pure win.
Also, why isn't Popov on that list? $10 for a handle, comes in a plastic bottle, and smells vile.
Wouldn't it be cheaper to just spike the Changaa with more Changaa?
tharra tastes and smells like crap
@MonkeyMonk: Sounds like they basically add whatever they can find that laying around at the moment. I doubt they buy jet fuel and battery acid and formaldehyde for the specific purposes of spiking the drink. More like, take a look in the trucks and find something we looted this week that we can toss in the Changaa.
Round table meeting of Kenyan drug lords:
Bob: Ok gang, our product tastes like ass, but it doesn't have the.. punch that we need. Any ideas?
*a few moments of silence*
Jim: We could.. hmm.. add jet fuel? It makes planes go, so it should give it the kick we need!
Bob: Good idea! Any others?
Todd: How about battery acid? I don't think jet fuel will give us the mortality rate we are looking for.
Bob: Lets do both! Changaa - It'll give you a jolt, and send you over the moon! (Warning, possible side effects may include death, and in some rare cases, resurrection from death)
i just came back from africa and always drink the local changaa when i'm there. it makes you blind. i kind of want it as a daiquiri flavour.
What? No Allen's Coffee Brandy? Champagne of Maine.
Ah, college days.
Knox unflavored gelatin + Busch (cheap) beer = Beer Jello.
Nothing sets off a good buzz like old fashioned jet fuel!!!