Pour Some Hate Juice On This Obnoxious Diamond Ad
Apropos of today's Worst Company In America matchup between DeBeers and Exxon, Wesa Anderson sends us this EE Robbins diamond ad seen on the side of a Seattle bus. See, the way it works is the more you spend, the more man you are. No girl can resist a big rock. Hey, maybe I should make extra cash drafting taglines for EE Robbins.
Advert [Flickr]
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Comments:
Is this real? lol thats funny
Nothing says I love you like a product mined by slave labor.
"The idea isn't to make her happy with your love, thats crazy talk!"
Somebody tell EE Robbins that my wife was more excited about the platinum band than the diamond it was holding up.
And, come to think of it, our engagement.
Thank god my wife isn't a jewelry freak. She knows I express all the time how I love her, a nice dinner and some flowers usually go farther than a diamond would.
More sexist bullshit in advertising. Who'd have thunk it?
Newsflash: Advertising tries to sell you things. Somethings things you don't even really need!
"Who says you can't buy love?"
Umm, today's Worst Company In America matchup was between DeBeers and Exxon, NOT DeBeers and Verizon. Someone needs to wake up.
Yes, those slaves digging for the diamonds don't get beat nearly as hard if they find diamonds over a carat.
Grrrr, I hate diamonds and feel sorry for the people who covet them!
Diamonds. Ugh. One word .... Africa. 'Nuff said.
I remember Debeers had one that said, "keep her warm all winter long" AKA, your wife will be a total bitch unless you buy her a huge rock.
My fiance bought me a titanium ring. I was able to shun the hated diamond but not able to totally break from "tradition" and had to have a ring of sorts.
@Jones91: Yup, it sure is. I've seen that ad about a half-dozen times so far in the last couple weeks.
I know Wesa! She has huuuuuuuuge boobs.
My work requires me to drive all over the state of Alabama to troubleshoot our network sometimes. Last time I was in North Alabama on I-65 near Decatur/Huntsville there's a sign much like this. It has a picture of a diamond ring but it says "Wife insurance," as if she's going to leave you if you don't buy her a big rock.
I guess they're right though. If she would leave you for not buying her an overpriced rock then she would probably end up divorcing you, taking all your stuff, and suing you for child support at some point anyways.
I'd love a big rock...not a diamond though :-(
I was thinking about a response line that involved a hummer, but I'm at work and that wouldn't be appropriate.
@mindshadow: We have something similar here in Denver. The billboard has a ring of a diamond-studded band with a huge rock in the center and says "This Should Shut Her Friends Up." It pisses me off every time I see it.
@carbonmade: I mean, a ring WITH a diamond-studded band AND A huge rock in the center. See, it makes me so crazy I can't type.
"Nothing's too expensive if it gets her to sign that prenup"
Actual other EE Robbins bus ad: "Average men buy average diamonds"
"Because roses don't make up for sleeping with her sister"
"Trophy rings for your trophy wives"
"Diamonds are for genocide"
one more:
"You misheard me, I didn't say I love big *rocks*..."
Wow. The jokes just write themselves.
My wife completely bought into the marketing hype. I made my feelings about blood diamonds plenty clear, but logical discussion just wasn't a possibility. Eventually, I gave in and bought the shiniest diamond I could in a weight I could afford. @*%# you diamond industry, @*%# you with a rusty garden spade.
(I don't begrudge the money one bit. I begrudge spending it on such a corrupt and worthless product.)
There was another EE Robbins bus-side ad I saw recently that was just as upsetting.
The idea is to prey on a man's sense of inadequacy and failure.
If you're not getting her the most expensive ring you can possibly afford, you're not doing enough, you cheap lazy prick.
My husband gave me the wedding band his mother had left over after her divorce from his father. What can I say, he's a thrifty guy!! But we've raised two kids on one income (he fully supported my decision to stay home with the kids and never undervalued my contributions); we own our home outright, have no consumer debt or oustanding loans, and are now putting both kids through college with little or no financial sweat. To me, his concern for our financial well-being speaks more to his commitment than a piece of jewelry ever could.
Seen from the other side:
A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamond ring he had ever seen.
He asked her about it.
"This is a Trump diamond," she said.
"It is beautiful, but there is a terrible curse that goes with it."
"What's the curse?"
the man asked.
"Mr. Trump."
@Sham03: haha, thats awesome. well, a real man can make her happy without a diamond, thats pro skills.
There was an SNL skit a few years ago...
"DeBeers...because now she'll have to...."
Hey, I'll buy her a big rock if she'll buy me that 42" plasma TV and surround sound system I have my eye on.
If I plan to get engaged, I will go to the Crater of Diamonds park in Arkansas and dig up my own diamond. I can't guarantee it will large, uncolored or flawless, but it seems to me that digging a diamond out of the ground with my own hands is far more impressive than any store-bought diamond could be. Now I just have to find a woman who also thinks this way.
A member of my ignorant family bought a ring, I hear, literally covered in diamonds, for his fiance. Trying desperately to keep myself from saying something at the wedding, but it's not extremely easy. All I can think about is that her finger is dripping in blood. I get choked up with the thought of it.
My suburban, keep-up-with-the-joneses, SUV-driving, boat owning, chain store loving family doesn't like me too much.
Funny story: My boyfriend walks into a jewelry store and asks the store attendant: "So if I buy one of your diamonds can you give me a certificate asking where they come from?" She just looks at him with a bewildered look on her face. So I guess when you buy a diamond(unless it's from Canada) I have absolutely no way of knowing where it comes from and whose blood it's drenched in. Diamonds are just dirty dirty things. DeBeers systematically tries to hide the origin of diamonds, they do deal in conflict diamonds and artificially keep diamond prices up. I'm voting DeBeers.
@yagisencho: Most companies don't sell blood diamonds, and through the Kimberly Process, diamonds are tracked from mining to market.
Not too mention diamonds are the worst investment ever. The resale value is horrible.
Also not too mention a wife, or husband....a horrible waste of your life.
@KleineFrau: If you said anything to my wife at the wedding you'd get physically choked by me. Keep your trap shut and just send a gift if you can't be quiet.
Wow, 44 comments and no one has mentioned Ron White yet........
"Diamonds, that'll shut her up"
I hate diamonds, but if you "must" buy one, note that the real Canadian ones have, I think, a microscopic image of a polar bear laser-etched into them.
Everyone's posted jokes are now in banner form for immediate distribution: [rfjason.livejournal.com]
@carbonmade: As abhorrent as that is, I think it's pretty spot on. She, the hypothetical fiancee-to-be of the ad's intended target, probably would be happy with nothing more extravagant than a modest ring for a couple of hundred dollars from Blue Nile, and might even prefer that he spend the money on something more useful like a down payment on a house.
But she has friends, and they talk. And they'll judge him and base their approval or disapproval of him based on the size of the ring. Well, they won't say it to her face. In fact, she could just be imagining that, and they'd be okay as long as she was happy. But you know, that's the kind of stuff women think about when they're making a literally life-altering decision.
Is it too late to change my vote?