AT&T Turns That Whole Warrantless Wiretapping Thing Into A Hilarious Marketing Joke

Meet Ms. Suspicious, a member of the “Online Liberation Movement.” According to AT&T, Ms. Suspicious “has nothing to hide,” so she certainly won’t mind when AT&T and their traitorous telecom buddies trash the Constitution and violate her right to privacy!

Maybe her friend, Mr. Moneybags, can shower Congress with cash and buy some of that tasty warrantless wiretapping immunity! Whoops, too real!

So who are the other members of the Online Liberation Movement, you ask? The ironically-named Ms. Proof and Ms. Forgetful, obviously.

Isn’t this so !@$% fun? It’s like we’re living in a book!

AT&T’s Latest Ad a Sick Joke [Reading For Dummies via Boing Boing]

Comments

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  1. Overheal says:

    AT&T: American Telecommunications & Tapping?

  2. Nytmare says:

    Anal Transgressions & Tunneling

  3. bobpence says:

    If it was unconstitutional, why worry about an immunity law?

  4. Grrrrrrr, now with two buns made of bacon. says:

    Oh yeah….warrantless wiretapping and unconstitutional violation of privacy…so hilarious!

    @Overheal: Exactly!

  5. Imaginary_Friend says:

    Carey, why do you insist on making me laugh at something so despicable.

    @Overheal: AT&T: American Treachery & Tattling.

  6. Yes, well. Those motherfuckers are certainly raising the bar, aren’t they?

  7. freshyill says:

    Seriously Consumerist, you guys have lost your focus. Is that really what they’re doing? No, not at all. Stop deluding yourselves into thinking that AT&T’s marketing department is somehow trying to laugh off warrantless wiretapping. THIS HAS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT. They’re not even alluding to it. This is something else entirely.

    Why not go back to whining about how Starbucks is out to get us because some fool got charged for whipped cream on their Frappuccino when they asked for none, or crying wolf in one of the million other ways you seem to these days.

  8. Overheal says:

    @freshyill: crawl back to your desk at langley

  9. bohemian says:

    Dr. Johnny Fever’s utter paranoia about the phone cops is starting to look reasonable. Shudder.

  10. battra92 says:

    Oh jeez. This isn’t even worth commenting on.

    You guys are paranoid.

  11. evslin says:

    I think we’re doing a little extra connecting the dots to conclude that AT&T’s intent is to laugh the “nothing to hide, nothing to fear” crowd off, but if that’s truly not it then they’re still guilty of an incredibly stupid marketing campaign.

  12. GreatCaesarsGhost says:

    I don’t get how this is at all related to the wiretapping.

    I also don’t see the marketing angle. If you’re a suspicious person, you should get online billing?

  13. Kaisum says:

    I absolutely despise this country.

    It’s a goddamn joke to ANYONE with money. Legal systems? Constitutions? What the fuck are those? We can just purchase our right to break the law all in the name of “anti-terror”

    We’re all fucked America.

  14. Karyuu says:

    ….What?

  15. toddkravos says:

    American Thugs and Thieves

    I like especially like the fact that if you navigate to [www.onlineliberationmovement.com], it redirects you to the ATT landing page.

  16. forgottenpassword says:

    I kind of take this ad as a slap in the face…. from a company that is now immune from being sued for allowing the government to listen in on their customers’ phone calls…..and making a little joke about it all.

  17. Jonbo298 says:

    @Kaisum: Osama Bin Laden has succeeded what he wanted to create. The after effects of one man’s action/decision has affected one of the biggest super powers in the world. He is probably giddy every time he reads something that says how our government is “fighting terrorism”.

    Was my comment possibly out of line? Maybe. But just think about it and you’ll realize, all it took was some airplanes to change the country “forever”.

  18. I sell foil beanies if anybody is interested.

  19. SkyeBlue says:

    Nobody had to “take” our rights and privacy from us or buy them, we just handed them over. We all just sat around like good little sheep while we have been constantly fed “fear” and “threats of terror” by the corporate media and the Bush Administration. As long as it didn’t interrupt the Superbowl, or NASCAR or the next episode of American Idol (then we’d all be really upset!) we American will just contimue sit on our couches and watch TV and believe ANY lie if it is told to us enough times!

  20. hc130radio says:

    do your fucking homework. the average American citizen does not get wire tapped. the NSA does not give 2 shits about millions of Americans that DO NOT commit crime. they care about the ones that DO commit crimes.

  21. forgottenpassword says:

    @hc130radio:

    The thing is…. being able to trust the government to know the difference.

  22. humphrmi says:

    @hc130radio: Using that logic, why then did our forefathers even bother about putting protections for liberty in our constitution? If law abiding citizens have nothing to fear from the government watching them, why is congress passing laws to give telcos immunity?

  23. bobbleheadr says:

    @bobpence: Cause Whackjobs like to sue. Immunity limits liability

  24. AngelofMotrin says:

    i REFUSE to vote for anyone who approves this. This is just wrong plain and simple.

  25. sisedi says:

    So the telecoms get defense from lawsuits pertaining to allegedly illegal wiretapping? Ummm, anyone here can prove they were wire tapped? I know sure as hell that I can’t I wouldn’t even know where to begin.

    But if they were sued to oblivion with little to no evidence, we’d see a very interesting increase in our rates.

    Personally I think it has been worth not getting attacked at all within the last 7 years, or would you rather have innocent lives taken in the name of bullshit so that you could sit in the comfort of your home knowing that no one is monitoring your communication rather than being paranoid by the possibility that someone may be interested in your stupid conversations?

    True, potentially no attacks would’ve occurred had the wire taps not been implemented but in times like these ‘better safe than sorry’ comes to mind.

  26. dondiego87 says:

    I don’t understand two things. One, how this is possibly supposed to make me want to use this AT&T service. And two, how this can possibly be construed to refer to the wiretapping immunity. Sorry Consumerist; I still love you, but that’s a stretch.

  27. Grive says:

    @sisedi: You’re working under the assumption that were it not for all this mucking about by the government, the US would have been attacked again.

    There’s a problem in that.

  28. Agent007 says:

    If she’s got nothing to hide, why is she covering up the Apple logo on her PowerBook G4?

  29. r4__ says:

    @sisedi: Personally I think it has been worth not getting attacked at all within the last 7 years,

    Well personally I don’t. Personally I don’t think getting treated liek a criminal without any evidence and generating a culture of fear to the point that no one questions anything anymore was worth any amount of attacks.

    I’d rather die free than live on my knees, constantly abused and manipulated by people I (supposedly) voted for.

    Warrantless wiretapping is a suspension of due process.

    If you need a wiretap, you convince a fucking judge of it so that they can make sure that you’re not abusing your power. That’s a fundamental principle called checks and balances. The people with the power to eavesdrop and monitor and spy on people have to make a case for it to others.

    I don’t give a flying fuck if “innocent” lives are lost because the NSA was too lazy to put forth the effort to convince a judge that they needed a tap; it’s an organizational problem, and they should fix it instead of stealing freedom from everyone else.

    Honestly, do you and everyone else who says “better safe than sorry” just have no idea about what risk actually is?

    You know what catches terrorists?
    Police work. Yep, 9/11 was “preventable” (god, i hate that word) — the linchpin being that the various fiefdoms that were doing their own policework didn’t exchange information and resources with others, not that credit records and phone call contents and web traffic logs weren’t being funneled into secret NSA facilities to be pored over by algorithms.
    You know what doesn’t catch terrorists?
    Massive widespread data-mining and eavesdropping and telecom intercepts.

  30. Angiol says:

    @sisedi: I have a magic rock I’d like to sell you. It’s guaranteed to prevent 100% of tiger attacks! I’ve owned it my entire life, and never been attacked once by a tiger.

  31. sisedi says:

    @Grive: That’s why I wrote the disclaimer, read the entire comment.

    @r4__: Absolutely no one is treating you like a criminal, not I nor anyone in the government. Think about this, try finding a supposed criminal who was caught under warrantless wiretaps in a crime unrelated to terrorist plotting. Yes you can be paranoid and think any second you may say something and wham, you’re picked up by suits but I doubt that is the case.

    And you’re claiming that NSA should get a judge to verify a tap on a phone call which they don’t even know exists? If you have a phone call being made traced by the words and locations of the callers, how the hell are you going to know that prior to the making of the call? To request a tap on someone you have no evidence has any wrong doing would never happen, they haven’t built the flux capacitor yet.

    Terrorists are hiding effectively within our country thanks to ludicrous border policies and having no evidence to tap their phones is apparently their right so why not be able to squash a bug when it comes out of hiding?

    This whole post is thrown together sorry.

  32. unravel says:

    @sisedi:
    Personally, it makes me want to vomit when people talk about how XYZ-whatever is worth not having been attacked at all within the last seven years, AS IF attacks were somehow at one point the norm, or as if those who plan attacks are truly so stupid as to make those plans over their home phones, or cellphones for which they’ve signed two year contracts. “Dth 2 Amrca! Dth 2 Isreal! My Iphone is AWSM!!1! TTYL”

    Personally, it makes me want to vomit when people are totally content to sacrifice their basic rights because the boogeyman might be out there. Personally, it makes my stomach churn when people talk about loss of life in these situations, not only encouraging fear, but totally ejaculating all over the tragedy that was the loss of life on September 11th.

    Personally, it makes me a little fucking queasy when Americans don’t stand up and take those who should uphold the law, to task for breaking it.

    argh.

  33. sisedi says:

    @Angiol: Sweet analogy, its purity and relativity burns answers into my soul but the comedy is the real sting.

    I like this one though:
    Tank commander: I see the enemy, tank at 2 o clock, FIRE!
    Tank driver: ummm, we need to get approval, sir.
    Commander: Ughh… can we blow up the enemy Mrs. Pilosi?
    Pilosi: Gee…idk…send me a picture please and I’m going to need non-military eye witnesses testimonies
    Commander: Sending it now…going slow kinda, EV-DO sucks…
    Pilosi: It’s coming through…alright, looks good to go commander!

    … Hello? Whatever…

  34. sisedi says:

    @unravel: Vomit on your motherboard so I wont have to read your ramblings.

    But don’t worry, as soon as Obama gets in office he’ll fix all of this right up for you in a jiffy. But how will he fight terrorism, you ask? Simple, surrender. He already enjoys talking to holocaust denying dictators so why not give them whatever they want, appease them until our economy is bled dry, at least we didn’t have to sacrifice our phone calls, right?

    Mmmm, America the bitch, has a certain ring to it.

  35. crescentia says:

    @sisedi:
    Somebody has sure bought into the whole Bush agenda haven’t they?

  36. P.T.Wheatstraw says:

    @sisedi:
    You have made a whole bunch of statements about terrorists hiding in the USA and so forth.

    Kindly prove it.

  37. madog says:

    @Angiol: nice simpsons reference.

  38. sisedi says:

    @P.T.Wheatstraw: [abcnews.go.com]

    [www.cbn.com]

    [www.fas.org]

    I’m sure you’ll probably try to drag these authors to the ground by trying to denounce their honor or word by some means so in that case, be reminded of the synagogue attacked in Seattle I believe by a self proclaimed terrorist on a hunt for jewish people.

  39. sisedi says:
  40. madog says:

    @sisedi: wiretapping -> security -> consitution -> obama -> holocaust denying dictators. This conversation is reminding me of my college days getting high and talking about politics and ending it on dogs with fluffy tails then completely forgetting what the hell we were talking about in the first place.

  41. crescentia says:

    @sisedi:
    Going by statistics, you have more of a chance of getting hit by lightening than getting killed by a terrorist in this country. I, for one, am not going to spend my life worrying about something that may never happen.

  42. sisedi says:

    @crescentia: You reminded me of an interesting concept. If we pull out of terrorist nations, quit doing business with them, secure our own borders, keep our eyes and ears to our streets and scrap warrantless wiretaps, give us back our freedom and give a giant middle finger to said nations, we may just be secure for the rest of the existence of our country without sacrificing a thing.

    But, and there’s a huge but, we deal with these countries daily. The U.S. is sitting on a liquid gold mine of unrefined crude and we need to stop giving dollars to Venezuela and Saudi Arabia and start digging for our own fuel. If we can succeed at that, we can pretty much ignore them for ever until they get so pissed they do something stupid and start WW3.

  43. Hawk07 says:

    Oh great, a liberal orgy. The only question is, who’s on top, Obama or the terrorists?

  44. PDX909 says:

    @SkyeBlue: Fucking A

    oh, and btw, am I the only one that thinks Ms. Suspicious looks a bit like a fella? Or am I missing part of the joke.

  45. Angiol says:

    @sisedi: haha yes that’s exactly what i’m saying, a combat zone is just like the united states. well done.

    @sisedi: I agree, the oil companies need to stop sitting on those permits that they have and actually, you know, start drilling.

  46. humphrmi says:

    @Hawk07: Oh great, yet another person who thinks that arguing for liberty is a liberal orgy.

    HINT: traditional conservatives are (and the dead ones would be appalled) at the current situation in the US.

    The terrorists are on top right now, they’ve achieved everything they could dream of: the populace is so afraid of being attacked by them that they are willing to let their lawmakers take away the protections that were the basis of our country.

  47. My sales of foil beanies are on the rise.

  48. Lucky225 says:

    AT&T – American Treason & Terrorists

  49. mmstk101 says:

    @Corporate-Shill: I’ll take 5 beanies, please!

  50. Nihon no Purin says:

    @freshyill: i agree.

    what the hell, Carey? all your posts are incredibly negative and pretty much resonate like “BLAH BLAH BLAH CAPITALISM GREED EVIL DURRRR,” which baffles me since two posts ago you gave instructions on how to exploit Costco’s cheap gas.

    corporations are greedy because people are greedy, including many consumerist readers too, i bet. so why hold companies up to unrealistic standards when you can’t do the same? a lot of the posts on consumerist are isolated events that usually don’t happen to people, so all this “OMG MY COUPON DOESNT WORK” business really just gives companies unwarranted bad press. don’t get me wrong: a lot of these companies do deserve negative publicity. but all in all, i think most of your posts are mindless blathering.

  51. @freshyill: then YOU explain the ad.

  52. r4__ says:

    @Gstein: Simplify. Organize. Liberate.
    SOL. It’s what you’ll be if you sign up for paperless billing with AT&T.

  53. jackal676 says:

    We’re such a huge target of terrorists because our current leaders are arrogant pricks who want to keep the whole fucking world under their collective thumb. If we’d quit invading countries and stop with the constant usurping of other nations (and denying their right to govern themselves in their own way), then we wouldn’t be such a target. We’re like the playground bully that everyone sooner or later wants to gang up on and beat down. We’re quasi-missionaries forcing people to forsake their own beliefs and choke down ours under gunpoint. But there is a different way. There is a smarter way. And Obama knows what it is.
    I do believe that Obama will guide us to a safer age through humble negotiation. What we currently do to cope and present the illusion of control is both ineffective and counterproductive, for you can trip even the biggest, baddest, meanest bully with a single outstretched limb.

  54. jackal676 says:

    9/11 should have been the lesson to teach us that. Instead it was adopted as a challenge to get bigger, badder, and meaner.

  55. dugn says:

    @Nihon no Purin and Freshyill: Agreed.

    Carey – get off the caffeine, remove the tin foil hat and ratchet the rhetoric of the last few days down a few notches. Stop making fantastic mountainous headlines out of molehill issues and connecting dots that aren’t there.

    Leave this fear-mongering, over-the-top garbage for Drudge or CNN, not Consumerist.

  56. Hairyback says:

  57. josephsherry says:

    Here is a good idea if everyone stuck together and instead of complaining contacted their elected officials at [www.congress.org] we could have put a stop to it beforehand. Secondly how about sucking it up and everyone opting out of cell companies who are willing to give over regular citizen’s information. That would hurt all of the meatheads where it hurts. Congress at the ballot box and Cell Companies in their wallets. People have to learn to act proactivley instead of moaning after the horse is already out of the barn. REMEMBER IT IS EASIER TO STOP A LAW FROM BEING PASSED THEN IT IS TO HAVE IT REPEALED!

  58. KiLE says:

    @sisedi: Really?

    “Personally I think it has been worth not getting attacked at all within the last 7 years”

    Sept. 11th 2001 was within the last 7 years. Wasn’t the Mexican Consulate bombing in New York City just last October? Either way, September 11th counts.

    “try finding a supposed criminal who was caught under warrantless wiretaps in a crime unrelated to terrorist plotting”

    Done! Elliott Spitzer, or is screwing a prostitute a terrorist plot?

  59. Angryrider says:

    Ms. Suspicious doesn’t mind online billing? How ironic!

  60. Pro-Pain says:

    @freshyill: STFU. Seriously…

  61. doctor_cos wants you to remain calm says:

    When this goes to the obvious next step, and you can’t hide behind a cute screen name…will you still support “My country right or wrong” ??

  62. crescentia says:

    @sisedi:
    We are more likely to start WW3 than Iran/Saudi Arabia. Who invaded Iraq? Saudi Arabia?

  63. cac67 says:

    @jackal676: So apparently, the US is to blame for all that’s bad in the world. Never mind the thousands of years of hatred and bloodshed between muslims and non-muslims. Never mind the fanatical hatred of shia by sunni and of sunni by shia. It’s all our fault. Apparently in your twisted little unused mind, if the US had never existed there would be no violence in the world.

    And by the way, when you trip the bully, he gets up and pounds you into a bloody pulp.

    And Obama will guide us to a safer age through humble negotiation? Please. For an example of what happens when an American president goes that route, see Jimmy Carter. In fact, you might want to read a little history, since you seem so completely ignorant of it.

  64. Rachacha says:

    Ms. Suspicious has nothing to hide…except for the fact that she is a HE
    @PDX909: Yes, I was thinking the same thing. Although with a bit of lipstick (s)he could look like this


    + Watch video

    We now return you to your regularly scheduled paranoia.

  65. Look forward to more wiretapping. Obama has already shown where he stands on this one.

  66. SkyeBlue says:

    @crescentia:

    We are more likely to start WW3 than Iran/Saudi Arabia. Who invaded Iraq? Saudi Arabia?

    Actually, I think it will start when Israel attacks Iran’s nuclear weapons facilties.

  67. VeeKaChu says:

    Wow- it’s simultaneously sad and funny in a really ironic way that there’re still vocally anti-American morons who will openly support the current adminstration.

    Haven’t you been shamed and embarrassed enough by these fucking criminals? Are you really so shit-stained-scared of “terrorists” and “liberals” that you’ll stand by- and even outright defend- their raping of our national Treasury for themselves and their cronies? Traitors, all. Get out of my country.

  68. irv says:

    This has nothing to do with wiretapping.

  69. Kaisum says:

    @Jonbo298: I think you missed what I was saying entirely. Regardless of who did what with the world trade centers they are using the name of “anti-terror” to steal away our constitutional rights.
    Osama Bin Laden has nothing to do with what I said and doesn’t control the bills passed in this country. Our government DOES and they’re the ones ABUSING the system.

  70. hc130radio says:

    All, do your homework on FISA and read the statue of limitations…fuck…i’m tired of these people who read information on the internet, but fail to follow up with their on research on the subject, and then start to fire off on the internet like they are experts on the topic.

  71. Imaginary_Friend says:

    @r4__: A-fucking-men. Post of the Day.

  72. JacobCurtis says:

    yea, the government never spied on the people in the past. never. this is a totally new thing. we should all be scared.

    look people, the government doesnt give a shit about what web pages you surf.

  73. Charles Duffy says:

    @ADismalScience: Nuh-uh. The compromise Obama supports gives retractive immunity for past offenses, but clarifies that wiretapping without a court order is absolutely off-limits going forward.

  74. asynja says:

    “If you have nothing to hide, why are you worried?”

    Well…if I have nothing to hide, WHY ARE YOU LOOKING?

  75. Charles Duffy says:

    @ADismalScience: …and Obama is certainly not happy with the immunity provisions, having voted against them in the past. Thing is, there’s no chance whatsoever that any intelligence bill is going to get through without an immunity provision, and so the restrictions on warrantless wiretapping this bill provides going forward are as good as we’re going to get without a Presidential veto this year.

    I think it might be more sensible to wait until we have a new President and then worry about pushing the bill in question, but I’m also not going to second-guess someone who (1) is much closer to the issue than I am, (2) has more information and background about the other provisions of this bill, and thus their urgency, and (3) has demonstrated good judgment in the past.

    After reading Obama’s statement on this bill, I did a bit of second-guessing, and then a bit of soul-searching, and came to the conclusion that what this country needs most is some healing in the rift between Left and Right, and punishing those that fell in with the present neoconservative administration isn’t the way to do that — so long as we make very sure that it doesn’t happen again. Given that, I can accept Obama’s support of the FISA compromise.

  76. kittenfoo says:

    i only have AT&T because it was the best deal for getting DSL where i live. however, my city is installing fiber optic cable to every house, and the minute it’s ready, i’m switching my internet to fiber optic and ditching my landline phone altogether. as it stands, i send one or two faxes a week, and that’s all i use my landline for. big waste of money that i can’t wait to get rid of.

  77. socritic says:

    I’m pissed that the blackberry bold and the iphone are on At&t, because i WILL NOT SIGN A TWO YEAR CONTRACT, and i don’t like At&t anyway because of these shenanigans. I will hack and break every phone i get just not to be on AT&T. I will pay more to get the handset open, especially if that keeps me away from ATT. ATT relies on my frustration with the size of the system to simply give up and fall in line with whatever they throw our way. SUPPORT OPEN HANDSETS. Vote with your feet, if a company is doing something you disagree with DO NOT SIGN WITH THEM. there. now i feel better.

  78. keene says:

    There’s no way in the world this is real…I’m calling BS.

    All these people getting their panties in a bunch…do you honestly think AT&T would do this?

    Give me a break.

  79. keene says:

    Further inspection proves it’s BS. Click on the ‘shop’ tab, then back on ‘support’, you’ll see the address is completely different than the one posted for this link.

    Yet another failed attempt at bashing the leader.

  80. jackal676 says:

    @cac67: Man, you make it way too easy. “So apparently, the US is to blame for all that’s bad in the world.”
    Really, I could stop there, because nothing in my post reflects that sentiment at all, so you missed the boat. But wait, there’s more.
    “Apparently in your twisted little unused mind, if the US had never existed there would be no violence in the world.”

    Wow, I’m glad you’re both adequately informed and mature enough to disagree without throwing in some insults. You really didn’t read my post closely enough to even get the gist right. I was giving my take on why this country is a target; I wasn’t making any claims about violence in any other capacity.

    “And by the way, when you trip the bully, he gets up and pounds you into a bloody pulp.”
    Yes! You’re absolutely right! That’s what we do. And it just cultivates more resentment from the rest of the world, until they trip us again with the next 9/11. Oh, but we’re so bad and tough, they wouldn’t dare wish/plot our downfall.

    “In fact, you might want to read a little history, since you seem so completely ignorant of it.”
    Again, thanks for insulting me, but I take my history with a grain of salt. Just because a textbook says that Columbus discovered America doesn’t make it fact and doesn’t make it applicable. And you don’t have to be a massive conspiracy theorist to actually think about something before accepting it as gospel, you just need curiosity and a bit of healthy skepticism.

    “And Obama will guide us to a safer age through humble negotiation? Please.”
    Yes! Please! Pretty please, with sugar on top. Because we can’t beat the whole world into submission.

    “For an example of what happens when an American president goes that route, see Jimmy Carter.”
    Funny thing, I don’t remember us going to war under Carter’s administration. And we had supplies and manpower at hand to react to potential crises on our own soil. Imagine that!

  81. jackal676 says:

    @cac67: Man, you make it so easy.
    “So apparently, the US is to blame for all that’s bad in the world.”
    Really, I could stop there, because nothing in my post even remotely alludes to such a sentiment; you totally missed the boat. But wait, there’s more!

    “Apparently in your twisted little unused mind, if the US had never existed there would be no violence in the world.”
    Wow, thanks for being so adequately informed and mature enough to throw in some insults on a post that you didn’t understand in the first place. All I did was give my take on why we are a target. I made no claim on violence in any other capacity.

    “And by the way, when you trip the bully, he gets up and pounds you into a bloody pulp.”
    Yes! You’re absolutely right! That’s what we do. And by doing so, we merely cultivate more resentment from the rest of the world. It’s no wonder that people from the corners of the earth fantasize/plot the downfall of this country given the sense of entitlement that our shitcan leaders brazenly wield.

    “And Obama will guide us to a safer age through humble negotiation? Please.”
    Yes! Please! Pretty please, with sugar on top. Because we can’t beat the whole world into submission.

    “For an example of what happens when an American president goes that route, see Jimmy Carter.”
    Oddly enough, I don’t remember the U.S. at war under Carter’s administration. And we actually had the manpower and supplies to swiftly deal with crises on our own soil. Imagine that! But yes, I do see your point, because I’m sure that the downfalls of his term explicitly denote the exact and inevitable failures of everyone else who might possibly think that “give peace a chance” is a good idea. Boy am I a treehugging lefty pussy!

    “In fact, you might want to read a little history, since you seem so completely ignorant of it.”
    I take my history with a grain of salt. Just because a textbook tell me that Christopher Columbus discovered America doesn’t make it true and doesn’t make it applicable. And you needn’t be a massive conspiracy theorist to ponder something before accepting it as gospel; you only need curiosity and a bit of healthy skepticism. But yeah, sorry I didn’t do more research into my meticulously crafted doctoral thesis of a post I made on the Consumerist last night. Boy do I have egg on my face!

    /pwn

  82. jackal676 says:

    Fix this buggy posting shit!

  83. BlazerUnit says:

    @hc130radio: You can take the remedial class with us conspiracy theorists too, as terrorism suspects and other ‘global extremists’ have largely began shying away from traceable communications…such as telephones and the internet. I believe the latest security reports and the GAO have come to similar conclusions.

    Don’t bother favoring ‘small government’ while the feds listen in on your innocent countrymen.

  84. BlazerUnit says:

    @sisedi: At least Obama CAN fight. Your presidential candidate can’t even put his hands over his head.

    Yeah, that was low-balling it. Your original post made no damn sense either.

  85. MMcNasby says:

    @keene: Look again buddy.

    [www.consumer.att.com]

    Is registered to AT&T. It is their website and it is their approved new online billpay ad campaign. I was an advertising major back in college, and I still can’t figure out how this is supposed to persuade me [or anyone else for that matter] to use this service.

  86. cmdrsass says:

    @BlazerUnit: classy.

  87. alejo699 says:

    @freshyill:

    How about you visit a blog you actually enjoy reading?

  88. flameboy says:

    90% of everyone commenting here do not seem to understand what AT&T is doing.

    They aren’t just “tapping” individuals. They don’t just “tap” people who are suspicious…

    THEY ARE MONITORING & LOGGING **ALL DATA**

    That’s everybody. Not just the terrorists, everybody. And that data isn’t going anywhere. Once its logged, do you think they will simply delete it? Information is power, folks.

    10 years from now (probably less), the government will be able to easily query a top secret database with your name and pull up massive amounts of sorted material about everything you have ever done on the internet. This is not an exaggeration, you can see the type of equipment Mr. Klein testified to seeing which do exactly this.

    Anybody who thinks AT&T haters are being alarmist, quite frankly has no clue what is going on.

  89. flameboy says:

    @hc130radio: “do your fucking homework. the average American citizen does not get wire tapped.”

    Congratulations! The most incorrect comment in the entire thread. You, sir, are completely wrong.

    Please read my above post, YOU need to do YOUR homework. Every American is being “tapped”. The more appropriate term might be “data mined”

  90. ChuckECheese says:

    I think Ms Suspicious would like to hide the fact that she enjoys listening to Phranc.

    [en.wikipedia.org]

  91. cac67 says:

    @jackal676: You’re right about your first point. I apologize for mis-characterizing it. You certainly did only blame the US for provoking all the terrorist attacks against us. But whose fault is it that Spain was bombed? Or England? Or Indonesia? How about the Israeli athletes in munich in ’72? Are all these to be blamed solely on the US and it’s foreign policy? Is there no blame to be placed on the muslim extremists who planned and carried out these attacks, along with too many others to list here? Are you of the opinion that these attacks, along with all the ones against US interests or property, are justified by US foreign policy?

    “And by the way, when you trip the bully, he gets up and pounds you into a bloody pulp.”
    Yes! You’re absolutely right! That’s what we do. And by doing so, we merely cultivate more resentment from the rest of the world. It’s no wonder that people from the corners of the earth fantasize/plot the downfall of this country given the sense of entitlement that our shitcan leaders brazenly wield.

    So, if we let them attack us and don’t respond violently, do you really think they won’t attack us again?

    “And Obama will guide us to a safer age through humble negotiation? Please.”
    Yes! Please! Pretty please, with sugar on top. Because we can’t beat the whole world into submission.

    So you think that we should submit to those who attack us?

    “For an example of what happens when an American president goes that route, see Jimmy Carter.”
    Oddly enough, I don’t remember the U.S. at war under Carter’s administration. And we actually had the manpower and supplies to swiftly deal with crises on our own soil. Imagine that! But yes, I do see your point, because I’m sure that the downfalls of his term explicitly denote the exact and inevitable failures of everyone else who might possibly think that “give peace a chance” is a good idea. Boy am I a treehugging lefty pussy!

    The US was not at war during the Carter administration, but we were attacked. Our embassy in Tehran was attacked and the survivors were held hostage for 444 days, only released the day before Regan took office. If you read up on the the Iran Hostage Crisis, as it was called by the press, you’ll find that Khomeini didn’t say or do anything for a few days after the attack until he realized that Carter wasn’t going to respond militarily. Once that became apparent, his rhetoric ratcheted up and he was able to secure a strangle hold on his country, which continues to this day. If swift military action had been taken in ’79, the middle east would be a very different place now. Instead, World war III could be starting soon when Israel attacks the nuke facility in Iran.

    “In fact, you might want to read a little history, since you seem so completely ignorant of it.”
    I take my history with a grain of salt. Just because a textbook tell me that Christopher Columbus discovered America doesn’t make it true and doesn’t make it applicable. And you needn’t be a massive conspiracy theorist to ponder something before accepting it as gospel; you only need curiosity and a bit of healthy skepticism. But yeah, sorry I didn’t do more research into my meticulously crafted doctoral thesis of a post I made on the Consumerist last night. Boy do I have egg on my face!

    This is the kind of thing I would expect someone ignorant of history to use to excuse that ignorance. Everything that is happening right now is built on a framework of history. So I’m going to suggest again that you start studying history so you can find out what actually started this. I’ll give you a hint: the first moslem attack against the US was in the late 1780’s, when the US was a small, poor startup of a country. Samuel Adams and Thomas Jefferson asked the Algerian ambassador why they were attacking our ships. This is what they quoted that ambassador as saying:

    “We took the liberty to make some inquiries concerning the Grounds of their pretensions to make war upon a Nation who had done them no Injury, and observed that we considered all mankind as our Friends who had done us no wrong, nor had given us any provocation. The Ambassador answered us that it was founded on the Laws of their Prophet, that it was written in their Koran, that all nations who should not have acknowledged their authority were sinners, that it was their right and duty to make war upon them wherever they could be found, and to make slaves of all they could take as Prisoners, and that every Musselman who should be slain in Battle was sure to go to Paradise.”

    /pwn

    Grow up.

  92. crescentia says:

    @cac67:
    Um……the worst terrorist event to take place before 9/11 was at Oklahoma City and that was done by a white Christian American. I say we bomb every US state…….ya know, just in case some of those pesky American Christians dare attack us again.

    By the way there has been conflict in the Middle East for thousands of years, not just since America came into being. There was those pesky things called the Crusades. Ya know, when Christians invaded and tried to claim land that wasn’t theirs. It didn’t work then and it wouldn’t work now.

  93. Lucky225 says:

    @jackal676:

    Obama is a CFR member, he has the same agenda as Bush, Clinton & McCain. And he has NO problems bombing Iran.

  94. cac67 says:

    @crescentia: I’m aware of the OK City bombing. How is that relevant?

    By the way there has been conflict in the Middle East for thousands of years, not just since America came into being. There was those pesky things called the Crusades. Ya know, when Christians invaded and tried to claim land that wasn’t theirs. It didn’t work then and it wouldn’t work now.

    Again, not relevant. I was responding to Jackal676 claiming that the US was attacked because of our foreign policy. That claim is untrue, but you need to do a little reading and studying on this issue to see the true cause. Read the Koran.

    And where were the crusaders attacking? Jerusalem. Why? Look it up. I’m tired of trying to teach history to products of public education who only want to pick and chose items they think support their points without going into the causes of those items.

    One hint: this goes back way further than the crusades.

    Maybe you and Jackal676 should get together and argue about whether the terrorist attacks are because of US foreign policy or Christians.

  95. crescentia says:

    @cac67:
    The crusades are relevant as to what is going on in the Middle East right now because many people there feel like America is trying to force it’s primary religion(Christianity) and values upon them. Just like what happened back then.

    From a site:

    In 1095, Urban spoke to a great crown at Clermont in France. He called for a war against the Muslims so that Jerusalem was regained for the Christian faith. In his speech he said:

    “Christians, hasten to help your brothers in the East, for they are being attacked. Arm for the rescue of Jerusalem under your captain Christ. Wear his cross as your badge. If you are killed your sins will be pardoned.”

    I’m a product of the public education system. Woe is me….woe is me!!!! *rolls eyes*

  96. gonz says:

    Am I the only one suspicious of the post-it note in the picture? Such an odd place for one. Hmm?

  97. EtherealStrife says:

    @gonz: AT&T is paranoid about getting sued.

  98. cac67 says:

    @crescentia: I’m a product of the public education system.

    Obviously.

    The crusades are relevant as to what is going on in the Middle East right now because many people there feel like America is trying to force it’s primary religion(Christianity) and values upon them.

    So did you miss my hint to you that it started before the crusades, or are you being intentionally obtuse?

    I’m not going to spoon feed you the answer, but I am going to tell you that you can find that answer. I’ve given you two hints, and I’ll repeat them: 1 this started before the crusades, and 2 read the koran. Don’t regurgitate what you heard on tv or read in some blog. Do your own research and think for yourself.

  99. jackal676 says:

    @cac67: “I’m tired of trying to teach history to products of public education who only want to pick and chose items they think support their points without going into the causes of those items.”
    I think flaming is pretty retarded, but you make it irresistable; that statement alone earns you the title of Douchebag of the Day. When you have to result to insults as padding for your own tired rhetoric, you only highlight your own inadequacies. Like this post I’m typing right now; It’s pretty lame and just a cheap excuse to insult you, but I’m ok with that, because you asked for it. Your efforts to diffuse arguments (of which you are neither skillful enough to effectively negate with logic, nor stoic enough to combat in a respectfully provoking manner) by demanding a backbone of relevant historical context are weak and out of place in a message board forum.

  100. Overheal says:

    Hey, if I genuinely thought that the immunity was only going to be used to ‘combat terrorism’ then I wouldn’t fucking mind. But I already know my data is everywhere. I know as soon as I register at the DMV I’m instantly registered with the army and released to the Hounds with regard to Credit Card companies. That google already pulls up advertisements based directly on the web page i am viewing. I mean how long is it going to be before you are overheard talking about one of AT&Ts competitors on the phone for example when suddenly your monthly payments get hiked?

  101. pigeonpenelope says:

    whoa guys. lets hold off the terrorist talk for a forum where it is relevant.

  102. 00447447 says:

    Idiots, the whole lot of you.

  103. rjgnyc says:

    @toddkravos: …why wouldn’t it? Acting like that’s outrageous doesn’t even make any sense.

    did anyone even look at the actual campaign? They have lots of different characters. One suspicious about identity theft and reverse call lookup. Woopdedoo. They also have a person who forgets to pay bills, so auto-payments help. And another guy who is happy he can pay though his local bank. They’re all reiterations of the same thing: I CAN PAY FOR THIS AUTOMATICALLY EACH MONTH SECURELY ONLINE AND VIEWED DETAILED BILLS THROUGH INTERNET TUBES.

    It’s just a god damn silly campaign. They had a bunch of characters with goofy names.

    You might as well claim that AT&T is trying to steal away our childhood friends, the Mr Men.

  104. 00447447 says:

    @jackal676:

    Still, he made you look like a jackass.

  105. RokMartian says:

    @freshyill:
    I agree.

    This post sounds like a redneck sounding off after his 6th beer.

  106. IrisMR says:

    Oh bite me AT&T. You’re monsters.

  107. rmz says:

    I am consistently reminded of that episode of Bullshit where they put the “average” people in that surveillance van to “watch the terrorist’s house” and they all inevitably panned over to watch the amorous neighbors next door.

    I don’t trust anybody to listen in on anything I may say on the phone, because I know that everybody is human deep down and everybody has the potential (likelyhood?) to listen in on irrelevant conversations if they know they won’t ever be caught. It’s a part of human nature, in a way. No system that involves real live people listening in on other real live people will EVER be completely devoid of unnecessary snooping.

  108. When someone tells me that I shouldn’t mind because I’m not doing anything wrong, I always ask them when I can come over and watch him/her and their SO have sex. After all, they are doing nothing wrong, so it shouldn’t be a problem.

    I have yet had a good response to that argument. :)

  109. jackal676 says:

    @00447447: Umm, not so much. Trying to counter my claims with a bunch of questions that just take what I’ve said to the extreme opposite (i.e.: “So you think that we should submit to those who attack us?”) is something a third-grader could do, and would do for lack of a legitimate counter. And following it up with a diversionary dilution of mangled history without a relevant point doesn’t add much. But anyway, thanks for your thoughtful comments, as they really add something to this forum. Or should I just say “troll” and try to ignore you? I guess we’ll just wait and see.

    @crescentia:
    What’s wrong with you, anyway? You should totally take cac’s advice and read the entire Koran so that you have a chance of deciphering those clues about some mysterious nugget of truth that cac refuses to “spoon feed” to you just so you can come back to this post in a month or so and agree with whatever it is cac is not actually saying but rather alluding to in a truly sanctimonious and inconceivably preposterous manner. I mean, c’mon, if you don’t know that this whole thing started in 458 B.C. when Orniminilith (AKA Orny the crazy caveman muslim) suicide clubbed his way into the annuls of history, you are just an ignorant publicly educated slob and you should just go back to eating beany weany and watching cartoons in your underwear. You have no right to speak your mind unless you have at very least a history minor from an Ivy League university. Free thought, philosophy and logic have no place in political discussion, because every answer lies in history, which of course is all totally accurate because there is no such thing as more than one side to a story, and historical accounts are always totally relevant to the current situation because the whole world and the people in it absolutely never change one iota.

  110. crescentia says:

    @jackal676:

    HA!!!!! :-)

  111. The mind boggles at the arrogance of these conspiracy pinheads who think that the US government’s anti-terror agencies give a wet fart about their phone calls. Seriously, do you actually think that the FBI has the interest, or the manpower, to check up on your communications habits? Is some evil man sitting at a desk in Virginia trying to ferret out the MoveOn agitators so they can be blacklisted, or trying to determine who’s buying gay porn so they can be entered in the Master Plan database? Do you even know anyone in the federal law enforcement community, or in the intelligence community? Do you think these people have some secret agenda, or are guided by the White House’s evil agenda, to subdue the Left? If so, you have vastly overestimated your own importance, and allowed your imagination to amplify your latent paranoia or delusions of self-importance.

    Terrorists use cellular communications to organize their operations. Computers are very good at recognizing patterns among the massive amounts of data created by communications networks. When significant patterns are found, the data are isolated and then forensically examined to determine if there is criminal intent. It’s as simple as that.

    Nobody cares about you.

  112. The mind boggles at the arrogance of these conspiracy pinheads who think that the US government’s anti-terror agencies give a wet fart about their phone calls. Seriously, do you actually think that the FBI has the interest, or the manpower, to check up on your communications habits? Is some evil man sitting at a desk in Virginia trying to ferret out the MoveOn agitators so they can be blacklisted, or trying to determine who’s buying gay porn so they can be entered in the Master Plan database? Do you even know anyone in the federal law enforcement community, or in the intelligence community? Do you think these people have some secret agenda, or are guided by the White House’s evil agenda, to subdue the Left? If so, you have vastly overestimated your own importance, and allowed your imagination to amplify your latent paranoia or delusions of self-importance.

    Terrorists use cellular communications to organize their operations. Computers are very good at recognizing patterns among the massive amounts of data created by communications networks. When significant patterns are found, the data are isolated and then forensically examined to determine if there is criminal intent. It’s as simple as that.

    Nobody cares about you.

  113. Balisong says:

    This has nothing to do with wiretapping…it’s something to do with online billing. It still makes no sense, but there’s nothing about wiretapping here.

    Stop with the sensationalism, goddammit.

  114. Bladefist says:

    @AtomicPlayboy: Oh they’ve gotten to you.

  115. Balisong says:

    Also, why does this have more Diggs than anything I’ve ever seen before on this site? Can noone read? Does everyone just see the headline and go “OMG TEH GOVERNMENT BE STEALING MAH BRAINS!!!1″? Idiots.

  116. Bladefist says:

    @Balisong: lol we’re talking about digg here. you surprised? Add the words “Obama Kevin Rose” and you’ll get triple what it has now.

  117. 00447447 says:

    @jackal676:
    I’m still waiting for you to show us that you have some facts or evidence-historical, anecdotal or otherwise-to back up any of your ridiculous claims. Your arguments are high in emotion and conjecture, but lack in intelligence and data. In other words, you are all cock, no balls.

  118. jackal676 says:

    @00447447:
    Sorry bud, but after checking out your recent posts, I conclude that you are all balls and no brains, hence my ignoring of your current baiting attempt. Smell ya later, troll.

    00447447 commented on JPMorgan Chase Accidentally Breaks Into Your House And Steals Everything You Own

    “JP Morgan should couple with MTV and pretend it was just a big joke.”

    [consumerist.com] 2:56 PM on Jul 1
    #

    00447447 commented on AT&T Turns That Whole Warrantless Wiretapping Thing Into A Hilarious Marketing Joke

    “@jackal676: I’m still waiting for you to show us that you have some facts or evidence-historical, anecdotal or otherwise-to back up any of your ridiculous claims.”

    [consumerist.com] 2:52 PM on Jul 1
    #

    00447447 commented on AT&T Turns That Whole Warrantless Wiretapping Thing Into A Hilarious Marketing Joke

    “@jackal676: Still, he made you look like a jackass.”

    [consumerist.com] 12:45 AM on Jun 30
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    00447447 commented on AT&T Turns That Whole Warrantless Wiretapping Thing Into A Hilarious Marketing Joke

    “Idiots, the whole lot of you.”

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  119. packetscan says:

    Reach out and Tap someone.