While American discount airlines like Spirit Air and Southwest alternate between running sophomoric promotions and enforcing their prudish dress codes on passengers, European counterpart Ryanair has trumped them all with its CEO’s announcement that transcontinental business class passengers will receive free “beds and blowjobs.” Video inside (safe for work if your job lets the word “blowjob” be said aloud).
In a press conference, CEO Michael O’Leary discussed Ryanair’s new transcontinental service, which will offer extremely cheap economy fares, as well as luxurious business class seats that include amenities like “white seats,” beds, and oral sex.
Blow-Cost Airline Jet Chief in Free Sex Pledge [Daily Star]
(Photo: Getty)
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Hmm, I may have to consider them if I ever go to Europe.
@weakdome: Ryanair generally make their cash from surcharges & additional stuff rather than the actual fare. I often travel between Liverpool & Oslo on fares that cost between $1-10 depending on how early I book. But after that, the price adds up – $10 per bag of checked-in luggage, extra charge if wanting priority boarding, etc. The best known trick is the in-flight shop – Hot & cold snacks, drinks, liquor, tourist crap, etc. Once you find that a can of Coca-Cola costs approximately $2, it’s easy to see what Ryanair’s main cash cow is.
Ryanair is a no-frills airline which charge minimum and then increases from there. But as long as a flier knows about how they work in advance, it isn’t that bad – Even after all the additional surcharges, it only costs me around £30-40 return via Ryanair. A similar flight would cost me around £100+ via Scandinavian Airlines.
First, I wake up to John Irving having a discussion about BJs on the BBC and now this. This is one humdinger of a day.
I’m flying Ryanair next week, London to Genoa…
If I don’t get my complimentary happy ending you know that I’ll be CCing my EECB to Consumerist!
C’mon, Consumerist…”white seats”? No chance he could mean WIDE seats for business class, eh?
I don’t see why this wouldn’t be on Consumerist. The entry of Ryanair into the US will be interesting, if ill-timed. With the cost of the business class in the thousdands maybe it will work for them. Unfortunately, most of the all business class airlines to Europe have folded – maybe there’s a niche. I noticed on the Ryanair website, the company actually put out a press release about this:
[www.ryanair.com]
From the press release:
Speaking today, Ryanair’s Daniel de Carvalho said:
“We are delighted to see our Düsseldorf (Weeze) media conference being the most viewed video on You Tube’s Travel section. Ryanair confirmed at the press conference on 17th June that the proposed transatlantic service will have a very low cost economy cabin with seats priced from €10 one-way, and a very high quality business class, providing better service than BA or Virgin, and the working title for the business class service is ‘Beds and Blowjobs’.
Since then it is rumoured that the ‘Beds and Blowjobs’ debate comes up at most management meetings and everyone is cock sure, it would grow from strength to strength.
We are surprised that the translator did not find any German word for ‘Blowjobs’. Ryanair’s Linguistic Department will offer one free return flight to a destination of your choice, for travel from October to December (including taxes and charges) to the first Ryanair passenger translating ‘Blowjobs’ into German language”.
A company with a sense of humor and that belongs on Consumerist!
The embedded YouTube video is dead. Anyone got a valid link?
@HeartBurnKid: Agreed.
@mackensie: Also agreed.
@sean77: Um, yeah, I dont think you get to decide what belongs here. Just saying.
In other news “Germans must have a horrible secks life”
Oh man are you wrong.
Best Consumerist photo ever.
@sean77:
I never said you were “offended,” so don’t quote me saying so. I said you are a “prude.” You can also quote me as saying you have a “pole up your ass.”
Don’t like it, don’t read it. Don’t you have REAL problems in your life?
If you don’t think this is work appropriate, then quit reading the net and do some damn work.
My boss got a kick out of this story. Seriously, if you don’t like reading the consumerist please quit trying to threaten us with it and just do it already. How high of a horse do you have to be on to think the editors on here care so much about keeping you as a reader that by you leaving a good bye threatening comment they will change the ways things are done around here just for you?
@laz, There is no actual exact translation, but my German wife tells me the closest translation would be “blasen”
Hotel Coral Essex?
@mwdavis: This is what I read Consumerist for. Stop traveling this road and I’ll stop reading.
I think the real reason people are ornery is because there’s no consumer to blame, here. Time to head over to the story about the autistic child to get my blame on.
@sean77: if only there were some website you could write to to publicize the disappointing treatment and poor service you have experienced from this “consumerist” company.
actually, an EECB to the Gawker CEO and board members might be just the thing- once you’ve done so, i suggest CC’ing tips@consumerist.com- they may be interested in this story.
Dammit! I just booked a seat on Aer Lingus yesterday!
As long as the male trolley dollys look like the cast of “Mile High,” this is also a winning proposition for the ladies.
@mgrDavid:
So you can give blow jobs to passengers? Unemployment may be at 5.5%, but surely you can find a better way to make a living?
@Ssscorpion: I suppose Aer Lingus will compete by putting the ‘lingus back in the air, no?
I’m just glad he didn’t mention the 20 euro fares on this video before he started talking about oral sex. I mean if he had talked about Ryanair’s amazing, unbelievably low 20 euro fares in coach during this video, then I might actually think this was a scam to get Ryanair free publicity for their out of this world low 20 euro fares.
Wait, this CEO does talk about Ryanair’s 20 euro fares in this video.
To The Consumerist:
How to know when companies are owning you:
1. Company creates video where CEO says something outrageous.
2. Also on the same video the CEO touts his company’s low prices.
3. Media reports on outrageous video without realizing that they are giving this company tons of free advertising.
4. Media gets owned by company that made video.
I thought The Consumerist was supposed to be exposing fraud, not spreading it.
@kepler11: If SWA or Ryanair served my needs for international travel, I would fly them in a second over the so-called “better” airlines that have difficulties not only with delivering their products in a timely manner but also the truth itself.
Happily speechless.
nomnomnom
the downside is hideously ugly flight attendants
@Ssscorpion: I am kicking myself for forgetting to make that pun. Well played.
@rixatrix: Aha! I was thinking to myself, who cares what color the seats are when you’re getting a bed (and someone to share it with, apparently)?
So I’m just wondering who exactly is going to be administering this special service? And will it follow the trend of degrading service over time, maybe starting with old biker chicks and moving down to toothless crackheads. hmm….. toothless….
@mandiejackson: You must be thinking of some other airline. I flew Ryan Air once; the flight attendants may may not have quite lived up to expectations from their 2008 calendar, but I wasn’t disappointed.
But oh man that yellow and blue color scheme is gaudy.
I wonder how many people actually watched the video.
It’s clear he’s joking.
@Ein2015: Uh, duh?
I love the reaction of his female translator. I know quite a few females that would have smacked him right then and there.
lmao, I know it would prompt a lot of people to start flying!
Personally I thing that this is genius (if it were true),
@battra92: only if the females are Americans. I’m a European and thought it was hysterical.
@sean77: @mwdavis:
Quit crying. Have you ever read any of the other gawker blogs? Not only is this hardly offensive, it is very appropriate — 10 euros across the Atlantic, seriously???
Any updates on when Ryanair is coming to my town.
I had a rotten day, I sure could use a business class flight about right now.
Which reminds me. I was driving down the street the other day and I saw this rather ugly street working lady on the corner. I pulled up and asked her “how much for a business class flight”? She looked at me like I was a farking moron.