Re: #1. I've NEVER EVER EVER had a cable installer call to tell me he was on his way. I *have* however, had them not show three times in a row, had them show up without any tools, and had one call me "baby". So get off the high horse, buddy.

#15 is total and utter bullshit.

Now I'm supposed to tip the cable guy? Sorry. The shit ain't happening.

Yeah, I use the internet to panhandle for tips on a job where I can't stand you or anything about you. But it's a very respectable job!!!!!!!

this is total bullshit

Yea, its unfortunate that our hate for cable companies sometimes get directed to the techs. Like they are the CEO or something. Our Bad. Forgive us.

There is a big difference between a sever and delivery guy than a cable technician.

I strongly believe in tipping, but this seems to be stretching it a bit.

Tip the cable guy? Uh, no way in hell. Most likely you're there because your company sucks so much ass that you've got weekly appointments with me to test signal strength. I'm not going to tip you for doing your JOB (that you get PAID to do).

#22...Don't get an attitude? Holy crap! This guy already HAS an attitude and if he came to my house I'd probably be so fed up with him thinking he's God's gift to man, I'd tell him to get the hell out.

i got really lucky with my comcast cable guy. The appointment was scheduled for something like 2:30. I took a halfday from work but it still takes me about an hour to get home. well the cable guy got there early, maybe around 1:30-2 and i wasn't home yet. He was actually nice enough to call and good thing too because i was literally 4 or 5 blocks away when i got the call. if he didn't call and just left, i probably would have passed him on the road and been royally upset.

@beavis88: I don't think so. People who know what they are doing can correctly identify the bottleneck. But I've seen P3 computers with a 900 icons in the task bar, and people blame all the wrong reasons. The main inaccuracy was the porn thing. You could have 900 terrabytes of porn, it ain't going to slow anything down. The virus/spyware stuff, will most likely slow your pc down, not your internet.

This InstallerTechJeff sounds like a complete douche.

"7. Offer us a drink, it's hot, we're probably going out of our way to make sure your shit works!"

You're not going out of your way, you're doing your job.
It's not "my" fault that you didn't have the foresight or common sense to pick up a bottle of water on a hot day, and it's not my responsibility to take care of that for you.

I had a cable guy out here last night and I'm relieved that I didn't screw up too badly. Although I did not offer him a glass of water nor did I tip him.

Yeah, no. I ain't gonna do that.

@beavis88: lol....you don't know what you are talking about.

I'm always very nice and respectful of the cable guys. I offer them water or a soda if they want and I stay out of their way and don't ask questions, I believe they know how to do their job. However, I think tipping them is a bit much. They probably make more money than I do plus they're doing their job. Don't they get to drive around in the company van so they don't have to pay for gas or mileage?

Other than that, I abide by all rules except moving the entertainment center, that beast is bigger than I am.

There are so many things wrong with that list....I actually would have to write them all down as I read it to even stand a chance at referencing them here. Most of what he said was total BS and the rest was him crying his eyes out. Maybe a couple things were true. Suck it up, I don't get tipped at my job and neither should he. Seriously, tips aren't for people earning a living wage which he most likely comes dang close to. My father-in-law is a cable guy and he earns enough to support himself, no need for tips.

effing Comcast wants to charge $80 for "installing" cable and internet, when all they have to do is remove a filter from the line and hand me a cable box (own my own modem). They were in and out in 10 minutes. And now they want tip?

I've got a tip for them! Tell Comcast to pay you more! They sure do charge enough.

Tipping is crazy. Offering a drink, however, should be as expected as being home at the agreed upon times. It's a glass, some water and some ice. It's a common courtesy, a way of saying thankyou. Remember the golden rule. Even if other people don't follow it, there's no reason why you can't do something you'll feel good about at the end of the day.

Wow, didn't think I could both agree and disagree with a rant more. Half the points are well taken. He shouldn't have to move your junk around, keep your house sanitary, and don't expect them to work with your router/receiver/computer/etc. Their job is to get the cable/internet into the house properly, not make sure your convoluted setup works. I'm willing to believe most customers are both annoying, idiots, and have an attitude.

But come on, you're supposed to be a professional. I'm not going to tip you, your attitude is negative before you step into my house, and generally my internet is slower than advertised. If you want to get into a tech showdown, you'll lose, and you wont get the cold Mountain Dew I probably would have offered you. Step down from the podium please, you sir, are an idiot.

It might help if I had one professional cable installer, but out of the dozen or so I've ever had, not one has been a pleasant experience. At best, mediocre, and I'm still left picking up all the twist ties, plastic, and coax pieces that you've somehow assumed I wanted all over my floor. Rant = fail.

Bi-polar much? The jump from point 17 to 18 seems almost like a different person started typing.

Beyond that though... tip the repair guy? Never really heard of that before, I thought because I was paying for the service and it was required that a tech come out to run wire that I really did not have to tip. If perhaps you gave me a choice on if I wanted someone smelling of alcohol and fish oil to enter my house to run a 10 ft long cable in a 3 hour span of time I may elect to tip if I decide to not take on said job.

As for the whole comment about computers being the bottle neck on broadband... hate to break it to you dude but with cable sharing the bandwidth within a certain area the issue is that it is not provisioned. I call you when my speed runs like dial up because you are not monitoring my neighbor who is running three porn websites and an e commerce business selling his wifes used panties.

This guy is a metaphor for what is wrong with cable service.

@kaizoku80: I hope I never have to count on you to help me out if I ever need the assistance of a stranger.

@rasbill: I fully believe tat at least 95% of "slow" internet connections are due to poor setup and maintenance on the client PC. Surely there can be legitimate broadband speed issues sometimes, but from experience I think the OPs estimate is pretty accurate. Most people have no idea how much crap their PCs accumulate, so long as the thing eventually boots up. And if it takes too long, they'll just leave it on indefinitely, soon compounding the problem.

you've got to be kidding me... do your job and shut up.

"1. We call you to confirm the appointment and to let you know we're on the way. We get there. You're not home, so we leave, and we end up having to come back to do the damn job because you are liars and said you were home, when you weren't. We are on schedules you asshole. You can wait another day or until the evening to get your shit installed."

I'm more inclined to believe the customer, since later on in your litany of complaints, you admit you're lazy (#25).

"6. Your router. Do it your damn self."

I'm more than happy to do it myself. Just stop blaming any and all connection issues on my router.

"7. Offer us a drink, it's hot, we're probably going out of our way to make sure your shit works!"

Bring a drink with you. It's not my responsibility to keep you hydrated. You are NOT a guest in my house.

"13. If your installation has to get rescheduled, don't flip out. Its not our fault your drop got cut and has to be road-bored, and we are only adhering to our companies policies."

Well, then change the policy. The customer has already waited 2 weeks (or more) to get the connection installed, now they have to wait another 2 weeks because Comcast et al. is too stupid to get the job done the first time?

"15. YOUR INTERNET IS NOT SLOW, YOUR COMPUTER IS!!! Take a few weeks to learn about how computers work. It's important nowadays because computers rule the world right now. 95% of the time, if the internet is slow, your computer either has too much porn/spyware/adware/virus, etc to properly function. Run the recovery disk or fix it otherwise. Because if the signal levels are correct, your internet is going to be fast. modems usually don't just go bad."

No - it's your connection that is slow. You've most likely oversold the area. Why do you think that Time Warner is trying to meter connections and Comcast is trying to block anything that uses more than a trickle? Because they don't have the capacity. So, stop blaming it on my computer. I keep it updated and protected so I know it's not viruses/porn/whatever else you've got in mind.

"21. Contractors are hard workers, but there are bad eggs everywhere (contractors & in-house alike). Some of us were contractors before we worked directly for the company! Don't hate!"

From my experience (at from the stories here, others as well), a majority of contractors don't care and don't the least they can to get paid. I know very few contractors that are "hard workers".

"22. Don't get an attitude, when speaking to the tech, unless the tech has one first."

If you don't want an attitude, you need to be working with your coworkers and employer to make your service respectable. There is no company I hate more than my cable company (Comcast) and I will not be nice to company that has yet to show me any respect in any way.

"25. If we are not assigned your installation, we do NOT want to pick it up early. Unless the tech is VERY bored with no other work, he will probably not want to do it early, don't ask."

That explains why you can never get any work done without a 2 week lead time. The installers have no initiative to get work done. Jacka$$.

"And finally. If you feel like we did a good job AT LEAST let us know, and gratuity is nice too."

You said you get paid well, so don't expect the customer to up your pay even more.

There *are* some good points in there, but damn if that guys doesn't know how to ingratiate himself.
"Be nice to me, DAMMIT!" ain't the way to make friends.

Still, I'd hate to be an in home tech dealing with a smelly house with screaming kids and a halfnaked fatass breathing down my neck.

Oops, that was @beavis88

This guy wants a tip??? Tipping is a violation of almost all companies code of conduct. Give me a break.

I just moved to a new apt and Charter is our provider. Cable TV is included in the rent but I have to pay for the net which I don't mind. However, Charter has to come out there and "hook up" the net service which requires me to be home to sign the paperwork. They are supposed to be there between 10 and 12 on June 17 so I have to take off work. We will see if they are on time.

@beavis88: Yeah. You don't know what you're talking about. Most of the time, clearing up your virii and spyware will help wonders. Learn some about computers, please.

I have no doubt that the cable guy is underpaid and overworked, but a tip? I'd wager that he still makes more money than I do. And to compare himself to a waiter/waitress or pizza delivery guy...puh-leaze!

First of all, as a former pizza guy myself, I'd say that most are paid minimum wage, drive their own cars, and deliver to the diciest of neighborhoods at night no matter the weather. As for your traditional in-store waiter/waitress, virtually all are paid a sub-minimum wage (by federal law) and expected to make up the difference with their tips...which is why you always tip your server!

It's stupid attitude like this that makes people hate cable installers. When your office gives me a 4-hour window during which to expect you and you come in the last minute of that window, how can I not be pissed at you? Yeah I know you don't own the company but who the f**k cares? I am pissed and you represent Comcast so yeah I'll bitch at you. Don't like it? Get another job.

And why should I offer you a drink? If you know it's hot, bring your own damn drink. There's a Starbucks and McDs at every corner.

Thats more of a rant of one cable guy's pet peeves. I'm sure 99% of Consumerist readers could come up with 25 things the cable guy does that pisses us off...

Like saying you called when the caller ID shows no record of that "call" and then not showing up because nobody answered.

Can't we all just try and get along?

This guy has got to be kidding.

I would really love to go to this guy's house and judge him too.

The part about tipping is especially annoying. If my waiter refused to do anything but physically carry my food from the kitchen to my table I wouldn't tip him either. You get tipped for good service dillweed, and it's pretty clear you're not interested in providing that.

I don't tip the mailman, or the paperboy. Why should cable installers be any different? They provide a service they are paid (well) to do.

The writer of this list needs to take his head out of his ass.

I will always tip a service person who spends more than 30 minutes in my house, usually because for some reason I ask them to do a little bit more than is 'required', but not always.

People that work hard, and do the job right.... what's $10? I tell them lunch is on me today, or if it's past lunchtime, first beer is on me.

Trust me, they remember. Their buddies do too.

I for one would be happy to have this cable guy in my house, and I bet he'd do a good job. He gets it. A lot of numbnuts here don't.

@Bladefist: agree

@VA_White: agree, waiters get paid below Min Wage, that's why we in USA have to tip em.

This is just a ridiculous rant. Most of them are just petulant insults and points like number 7 are just rude. If it's hot, bring your own gatorade. Sure offering a drink is polite but shouldn't be expected. Guy is just a whiner in general

This list describes the basic hazards of any job that requires you to work at people's homes. If this guy has so many complaints, he shouldn't be working with the public.

somebody call the waaaambulance?

@beavis88: Well, I agree with your statement. Most people can go to a website and do an internet speed test and find out how their connection performs. If they do it often enough they will be able to have something to compare a slow connection with.

I once complained about my connection performing slow, on 3 different computers. I thought it could be my router and since the one I had was old I bought a new one hoping it would fix it and it did not. So, I call up my trusty cable guys and they sent me a batch file to do a few ping tests...Seriously. First off a ping will only show how long it takes to get a tiny bit of data from you to a server and back again. It says nothing about how fast or slow your connection is. Granted if you are going extremely slow it will have a much higher ping, but if you are getting half the speed you were it will look dang near the same as it did with the full speed. So, if you normally get around 2 Mbps connection rate and you are now only getting 1 Mbps connection the pings will be dang near the same.

So, from my experience the cable company knows very little about internet troubleshooting on their end. Magically my speed issue resolved itself about a week after complaining. On all 3 computers....

But I do offer them water... I had a tech come to my place the other day when it was 99 degrees.

Just because I hate comcast doesn't mean I forego common decency.

#24. There is a switch. Sure "basic" is not controlled with it. But from the office, they can turn off internet, and anything that needs a converter box.

#1. Knock on the door. We can not see through walls, and guess when you walk by.

#4. We make the appointment for the 8-12 hours. Our kids are at school. Keep your appointment and this is not even an issue.

The helpful cable techs I've had used signal meters to test strength on each outlet and line. Outside my house, all he had to do was replace one corroded connector and my signal was fixed. Inside my house, they found the strongest outlet, where I now plug both my PC and TV off a splitter. The other outlets will have to be rewired someday, and tip #18 might prove helpful.

If they can test your signal strength while they're there, make sure they do. But I think some of them don't carry meters :(

@cheeser83: I wish you the best of luck with that, my friend. Charter is the company that made three appointments (that's three times I had to take off work for the 4-hour window) and didn't make one of them. I complained to the BBB and got it taken care of. Charter is my nemesis in life, but because my apartment complex is in cahoots with them, I can't get any other service (or a dish). I despise them more than words can say, and just remembering how shoddily I was treated by them is making my blood boil!!

I love he thinks (as so many of these "confessions of person with job that copes with public" people do) that he's the ONLY ONE who's ever had to deal with appalling clients/customers with bad children, bad pets, disgusting homes, etc. It's not, like, a novelty!

hmmm, comcast guy called me to offer to come earlier, then again when he was 1/2 an hour away. guess he was bored.

You make 45K, you make me agree to a 4 hour "window" for when you'll arrive, and I should tip you?? You're why I stab cable techs in the neck and bury them in my basement... asshat!!

@Terd_Ferguson: I work with computers professionally, and have for a long long time now. Sure, for many people spyware and a crappy computer is going to be the issue. But for him to claim that because the signal is good, the connection is going to be fast is a bunch of shit.

Time Warner tried to blame my slow connection on my computer for months. Guess what? When I begged and pleaded with them enough to replace my modem, everything worked like a charm. But I guess I don't know what I'm talking about.

When I lived in Boston, Mediaone claimed my slow connection was again due to my computer. I checked with other people in my building, and guess what, everyone's connection was dog slow. Only after enough people pissed and moaned did they bother to come out and fix the wiring leading into the building (which probably dated from the invention of cable service). Surprise surprise, guess what happened, everyone's connection was suddenly about 4x faster. But I guess that was all the spyware on my old, slow computer too?

Let me sum it up for those who couldn't get through the article:

"You should be kissing my ass because I'm gracious enough to do the job you are paying me to do."

I don't tip the auto mechanic. I don't tip my dentist. I don't tip my kids teachers. Why should I tip anyone for doing a job for which they are already paid? If you want tips, do what those in the food service industry do...take a below market salary. (I will confess that I have tipped the cable guy in the past, but only when he went above and beyond on a request I made that was not on the work order.)

I do agree about keeping kids/dogs/diapers out of the guy's way though.