Are you a good skier? Do you tackle the “black diamond” slopes without hesitation? Well, the TSA has a new challenge for you — the “black diamond” security line. In an effort to reduce the stress that travelers feel when families are holding up the security line — or when pushy frequent fliers try to cut in front of those families, the TSA has been testing a “self-select” program that allows fliers to choose which line they would feel most comfortable in.
The TSA says the program has been a big success and has expanded it to 21 airports. They claim the expert lanes move faster and families are receiving more assistance and sounding fewer alarms. There’s even a “casual” lane for travelers who know the rules but don’t like feeling rushed by those pushy “black diamond” people.
Since it appears to be here to stay, If you’d like to strap on your bureaucracy skis and give the “black diamond” line a shot, the TSA offers these helpful tips:
- DO: Wear slip-on shoes. Laces and zippers will slow you down.
- DO: empty your pockets and put loose items in your purse, jacket pockets, or carry-on bag while before you get to the checkpoint.
- DO: place magazines, snacks or souvenirs purchased in the airport in a carry-on bag or purse before you get to the checkpoint. Consolidating your items before they go in the bins will help you recompose quickly and clear the checkpoint exit area.
- DO: have your liquids baggie out of your carry-on, and make sure you don’t have any loose liquid items in your purse or carry-on bag. Notify a security officer if you have any exempt liquids so an officer can provide additional screening if necessary.
- DO: put your shoes and coat in the first bin and any carry-on bags in other bins. Then after your bins go through the x-ray, you can slip your shoes and coat on while waiting for your other items to come out.
- DO: put your laptop bag in the bin before your laptop. Then as the bins come out of the x-ray, just slip it back in, zip and go.
- DO: put your bins on the belt for the x-ray machine vertically versus horizontally. This allows the security officers to view more than one image at a time, and helps speed up the process.
- DON’T: try to put shoes or boots with zippers or laces on right when you take them out of the bins. Move to the side to let other passengers take their items and go.
For a list of airports that feature the “black diamond” lane, click here.
Black Diamond Self Select Lanes [TSA]
PREVIOUSLY: TSA Brings All The Signage Of Skiing To Security Lines, None Of The Fun
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Black Diamond will be a flop. People can’t even handle “15 items or less” lines in the grocery store. Cash Only sign clear as day…if I a nickel for every time I heard, “Can I write a check?” Or those who go to the express self-checkouts with a cart full of food.
Sorry, no way are people going to adhere to all those line distinctions. They will mindlessly walk to whatever line is the shortest.
The Seattle airport has a TSA employee there who likes to check all IDs with a jeweler’s loupe at an excruciatingly small pace. One of my last trips there he was doing this to an elderly woman’s license before scanning it with one of those blacklight ID pens.
If they put this man in charge of the black diamond line it doesn’t matter how experienced you are, it’s still going to take forever.
My solution is to abolish the TSA and go back to pre-2001 procedures.
Seems like they should have an age limit on the Diamond line like 18+ to prevent families jumping into the line just because its short.
I never co-operate with the TSA. Last time I flew it was with my 7 year old son, and he left his bottle of lemonade in his backpack. The rent-a-guard got really upset and was trying to make us feel bad about not throwing it away before we went through the line. hah!
All of these ‘rules’ about taking your laptop out of the bag, etc. are really just suggestions to make their jobs easier. Their job is to make people feel safer by pretending to make the airlines more secure. If that means that they have to take a laptop out of your bag then they have to take it out of your bag.
I see absolutely no reason whatsoever to make their ridiculous jobs any easier or more pleasant than they already are. The more that we cooperate with their current set of ‘security requests’ the more likely they are to add new ones (3 oz. of toothpaste, anyone?)
Welcome to your Orwellian airport experience. It’s better than having us sheep baaaa, baaaa and mill around aimlessly. Four legs good, two legs baaad!
Ahh, the lowering standards of the United States: where knowing how to wear shoes qualifies you as an “expert.”
@arstal:
Amen.
I had high hopes for this TSA innovation. When I traveled with an elderly relative – I saw the need for the Special Needs line because people and some TSA employees were impatient and rude. You know who you are out there.
But in Orlando when it takes me 40-60 minutes of waiting behind some travelers with strollers, car seats, 20 stuffed toys, and more carryon baggage than I have ever imagined – I want them in a special line – where I am not.
Otherwise I consider myself a black diamond and just want to get through. How many people still do not take their laptop out and put it in the bin – Arrrggghhh!
When I encountered this almost everyone was in the “expert” line. Apparently people don’t like to admit they are not experts. I went in the “casual” line and went in front of all the “expert” travelers.
This is a great idea, but if the TSA agents fail to send the idiot families and “pays with pennies old lady” over to the green line when they’re holding things up, then this idea is just a colossal waste of money.
Why don’t make families or people with strollers, etc., go to a different line? Or funnel all the people without carry on bags to another line and not give people a choice?
You have a stroller? — C line
Have 3 kids? — C line
Have only a briefcase? — A line
Wearing flip flops and have clear baggy ready to go? — A line
If there is a wicked long line I just walk down to the terminal and go through security there.
@timmus: Definitely agreed. The success of failure of this will ride on the TSA’s ability to enforce (HAH!) the families/special needs side of things.
I hate to single out those who need extra time and assistance and realize this will probably add to the overall amount of time it takes them to get through the checkpoint, but please understand that the benefits of how quickly others will be able to get through will vastly outweigh your inconvenience.
This is not a solution.
No matter what they say, it DOES NOT WORK here in Denver. TSA closes so many lanes that the “expert” lane is often the only alternative, whether or not you’re an expert traveler.
everyone just chant “grocery store, grocery store” while you’re standing there in the “fast” lane.
The same ignoramuses who buy 3 weeks of groceries for a family of twelve and go through the “15 items or fewer/cash only” lane, and try to use a third party Hungarian check, will equally blindly stumble through whatever TSA line they damn well please.
I once had a Kroger cashier in tears, as I finally got to the front of the line with my one thing after waiting for the above-described ignoramus. I was not happy, and let go with both barrels. Sure, you let her through because you’re AFRAID to UPSET her by having her go to another lane–well, what about ME? You’re not AFRAID to upset ME, are you? Well, let me tell you how upset I am. And off I went.
I flat out didn’t care. And the whole store knew it.
It’s a good idea and would work if the average American wasn’t stubborn and stupid. My basic philosophy of the human race still stands though: People are idiots.
@NameGoesHere: Damn straight. This is a stupid idea.
@afrix: Sweet. I’ll bet that cashier will think twice next time they decide to let someone abuse the “15 items or less” line.
@Moosehawk:
“My basic philosophy of the human race still stands though: People are idiots.”
Is that excluding you, or not?
They need to create another line for people that refuse to show their ID because they compare airport security to Nazi Germany.
@blong81: It definitely includes me.
@xay: I used it a few weeks ago in Orlando and it seemed to go well. In general though, I hate the screening lines in Orlando, way too many parents with 8 kids and 10 strollers, bags full of craps and other random stuff. The security there is a joke, they let everything through, including liquids.
Do not underestimate the power of the social contract. A terse reminder from a prepared Black Diamonder will help shame the dopes (some of them) in to better behavior.
The problem with this coralling system is the failure of the ninja travellers to make the slowpokes feel bad about themselves. If a TSA monkey tells someone they’re being a selfish dope and holding up their fellow travellers, the dope gets defensive and cries that the TSA staffer was rude to them.
If we ninja travellers make the black diamond lane genuinely inhospitable to the fools, they’ll steer clear. So go ahead and let the morons know when they’re screwing things up for the adequately prepared. And while in line, boast about your security-clearing skills while demonstrating your flawless techniques of shoe removal, laptop management, and familiarity with fluid volumes measured in ounces.
Do not wait for TSA agents to give dopes the tounge-lashings they so sorely deserve, such behavior on TSA’s part would result in poor (worse) customer service numbers, so they are not going to do it.
It is our responsibility as capable, considerate travellers to provide the leadership, guidance, and a good dose of shame to the unprepared boobs in order to help modify their behaviors, or at least get them to realize that they are not the only people trying to fly that day.
@Moosehawk:
–George Carlin
I think that quote is doubly appropriate today.
Actually, re: Denver International, I’m perplexed.
DIA was one of first airports to get this system implemented, and for a brief while it was in place and worked great – I go through that airport at least 2-3 times a week, and it really made the going visibly smoother.
But then, they actually dropped the ‘casual traveler’ line – one can even see where it was cut out of the posters, and posters taped together – so now there are the ‘expert’ and ‘family’ lanes with the end result being.. back to the square one. No efficiency improvement, only confusion.
I’m not sure if this was done at all security checkpoints in DIA, seeing as some people are commenting on the system in place as if all 3 lanes are there, but I haven’t seen the ‘blue’ lane in quite a while.
@deelux523: Awesome! You are so right!
Two things:
1. When the TSA comes out with suggestions like this:
“DO: put your bins on the belt for the x-ray machine vertically versus horizontally. This allows the security officers to view more than one image at a time, and helps speed up the process.”
It makes me wonder. I know that they mean to put the bin so that the long side enters the x-ray abyss first, but what they are asking us to do is place the bins like a row of dominoes poised to topple over. Some people will get confused and then the line really gets slow.
2. Why do people stand in line for many minutes watching people take their shoes off and then wait until they are at the front of the line to begin unlacing and removing their shoes? These must be the same morons who wait in line an Mcdonalds or BK and don’t look up to the menu board until they are standing with the cashier. Also, why do you need to look at the menu at Mcd’s anyway.
I’m starting to think that getting a private pilot’s license is the best idea all around.
Putting your laptop on top of your laptop bag won’t work when TSA always makes you put it in a separate bin by itself anyway.
@afrix: You should have yelled at the customer instead of the cashier. Yes, the cashiers should ask them not to do that. But they weren’t really the ones at fault. I know that at the Whole Foods here I have seen them ask people not to take too much stuff through the fast lanes.
@afrix: Big man your are for making a cashier cry, you mother must be proud. This is why this will never work because no one really cares about anybody except themselves. Maybe in another society, but here in the US especially on the East Coast nobody would care that they are in the wrong line. Just go where it is eaiser for them.
well… its another “Your papers, please” moment in the downward spiral that is American counter-terrorism. I can’t decide whether its worse here or England and their CCTV and nanny state antics, but damn, there are really fewer and fewer places where you’re truly free. Maybe Sweden? How bout Finland? The Netherlands?
I think the naming of the line is not correct. Some people will go to the “Black Diamond” line because they don’t want to be thought of as a “lesser traveler.” Why don’t they call it frequent flyer (or something else that does not imply that one is an “expert…) and prohibit children from the line?
Great idea, it could just be refined some to even further improve the concept IMHO.
@humphrmi: Actually, half of all people are dumber than the median, not the average.
@Jubilance22: Maybe I am just unlucky – I’ve been through Orlando every month this year on business and I haven’t seen the line setup work yet. I just pick the line with the fewest kids and go from there.
@floyderdc: I was in the right line, big boy. The fact that Kroger didn’t care and that the cashier can’t handle her job is not my business. I cared, and let them know I cared.
If the cashier can’t stand the heat, she should get out of the kitchen. Kroger had an obligation to me, but chose to piss ME off instead of the woman who got there first. I’m sure Kroger thinks they’re doing a great job of customer service, but they have an amazing way of sticking their heads up their @sses and ignoring the OTHER people they’re pissing off.
I was in the correct line. I was queueing up correctly, being correct for the social norms. The idiot woman ahead of me didn’t care, and Kroger taught her a lesson: she didn’t have to care, she’d get special treatment.
When Kroger gave special treatment to that shopper and taught that shopper the lesson that she must have deserved that special treatment, and taught me that doing what’s asked of me means I get screwed, I let the whole store know about it.
With both barrels.
The shopper ahead of me was rude in general, and Kroger was rude to me specifically by allowing her to be so rude and thoughtless and “special”. Screw them. It’s not that it’s about me; it was about being polite in society. When the Kroger sign says 15 items or fewer and cash only, it’s polite to pay attention to that and allow other shoppers who have 15 or fewer items and cash to use those lines. Anything else is just plain @sshole rudeness.
You know, I never thought about this, but what do people do when they have shoes in their carry-on? Take them out and put those in a bin too?
I’m sure all the old people, backwater families with six kids, and people with three carry-ons will choose the expert line because they think they’re smart and worth something in life, so why would they admit to being worthless when it comes to check in?
I hate check-in. I have slip-on shoes, my belt removed, jacket off, and laptop in a separate tray. Then I watch family on vacation take up 15 minutes as if they didn’t understand what was going to happen when they showed up to the airport. Screening? IDs? Remove metallic objects? I DIDN’T SEE THIS ONE COMING…. =/
@afrix: Have had the same thing happen to me at a Walmart – behind a women with a cartful at a 10/15 item checkout, looking noticeably annoyed and frustrated. Came to my turn and the cashier has the balls to say to me “You should have said something to her.” My response: “Isnt that *your* job?” “Oh no, we’re told not to say anything to people…”
@Dweezil: You are kidding right? You keep them in your carry-on luggage.
@Angiol: Um, dude, as I attributed, it was a quote by the late George Carlin, and it was a joke. Take it up with him.
@Dead Wrestlers Society:
This is called “line karma” and I have HORRIBLE line karma. Always. To the point where I tell people behind me that they might want to pick a new line. I would pick special needs just because everyone in front of me would need extra help anyway.
@Angiol: Actually, according to my stats textbook, “average” refers to all measures of central tendency, including median, mean, and mode.
I was at LAX a month ago and I saw these signs… but there weren’t different lines for them. They were just posted along the one really long winding line. Yeah.
I wonder how long it will take before they start selling a diamond card for the shorter line.
Every airport where I’ve seen these they’ve been useless. TSA just pushes people to whatever lane is open blue, green or black.
i just saw this at the airport a few days ago. there were three lines at the start, but they all converged to one before you hit the tsa agent.
At busier airports they will have the “3 platinum diamond” line to get the people that need to be in the best line possible but are not “experts.” Id still have my eye on the “casual” to avoid the experts.