Reader Keith wrote to us with a cautionary tale regarding Nivea men’s “cool” body wash. To Keith’s surprise, the product contains menthol which had an adverse effect when he used it on his body, specifically, his genitals. Much like the old Icy Hot in the the jock strap trick, it made his boys burn. To dispel any doubters, Keith says, “And no I do not have an STD, this is Nivea body wash related.” His letter, inside…
Im a big reader of the blog. And I get a lot of info off of your site. It’s fucking awesome to say the least. You tell the good and the bad. Well unfortunately, I am here to warn people about the new mens body wash line by Nivea. There is a cooling body wash and another one. I have experience with the cooling body wash as of 10 minutes ago. It has menthol in it for cooling you down so they say.
But they forgot that if you put a menthol like product on the most sensitive part of the male anatomy, then it creates immense irritation down there. Much like putting Ben Gay or Icy Hot down there. So yea I’m suffering now because Nivea decided to make a cooling body wash and I bought and tried it. Please post a warning for other males that read The Consumerist. This is a horrible product that obviously was not tested on actual people because they would have pulled it right off when the tester’s penises started to burn. And no I do not have an STD, this is Nivea body wash related. Thanks.
Ouch! We’re sorry to hear that Keith. We agree that a product that proclaims to be “body wash” should have some type of warning to help protect their customers’ packages. At least, you are now wide awake and don’t have to spend $4.50 on that Sturbuck’s Frappuccino.
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I actually bought a bottle of this just a few days ago and my junk has not reported any dissatisfaction with the product. But maybe my junk is more resilient than reader Keith’s junk.
I bought a bottle of conditioner (American Crew) that turned out to have peppermint oil in it. It made my scalp feel all burninated and I smelled like a candy cane all day.
For that “freshly scrubbed with steel-wool and dipped in rubbing alcohol” feel.
@nycaviation: Reader Keith has bio-degradable junk while you have stainless steel? HA.
@nadmonk: Why not add salt to the wound while your at it.
I’m going to hell for laughing my head off. But it’s ok, I’m sure I’ll be in good company.
Here’s a fresh report on Nivea Cool with Menthol: still no burning. But I sure imagined some.
@MeSoHornsby: In the words of the late George Carlin: “You gotta wash the four key areas: armpits, asshole, crotch, and teeth. You can save time by using the same brush on all four areas!”
I’m thinking that this might have to do with the different sensitivities between kosher junk and natural junk…
@ringo00: Yes, but not necessarily in that order…
Same thing happened to me a few years ago when I used Dr. Bronner’s Peppermint Liquid Soap to shower with. The cool sensation was just painful below the border. My boy’s were fooled into thinking it was cold enough for them to make a retreat.
As soon as I stop LMFAO I’ll try and think of something practical and sensitive to say!
@RandomHookup: You like living a celibate lifestyle, don’t you?
@oregongal: This thread is not even close to being sensitive to his, ummm, predicament. The Consumerist is not known for its sensitivity.
My wife bought some Clinique stuff that did this to me. It only took one shower to realize that I couldn’t use it to wash everything.
I don’t really get why some people are blaming the guy for washing his balls in the first place. I mean, it was body wash…and last I checked, a penis and balls are part of a man’s body. I’ve never seen a body wash that warned against using on your genitals, and if I did, I sure as hell wouldn’t buy it!
I think the Altoids people would beg to differ on this whole “don’t wash sensitive areas with tingly substances” malarky. Although, in this case, you’re not supposed to use a washcloth when applying it.
If the OP enjoyed his initial experience, he should try washing with pop rocks and soda next.
I am admittedly wondering what made his boys so sensitive. I suspect I don’t want to find out.
Speaking as somebody who once absent-mindedly scratched his nuts after applying Ben Gay, I feel for Reader Keith (and I have never, ever made that mistake again. And I really can’t believe that they’d put menthol, of all things, in a body wash that is meant to be used all over the body (including sensitive areas).
that’s weird. you can get other peppermint/menthol castille or hemp soap and it gives a cooling sensation but doesn’t burn. maybe he just has sensitive skin.
@katylostherart: Or maybe there’s formulator’s alcohol in the product. You know, the stuff that says “SD Alcohol” followed by a number or code of some sort.
It’s also true that all commercial soaps (not detergents) are made with some combination of a rendered fat or oil and caustic potash or lye. Yes, even in modern times. And in order to reduce the likelihood of the grease going rancid, they make the soap purposely caustic-heavy. Some wash products attempt to pH-balance their products with an acid.
None of this sounds like something I want even close to Muffy.
Reminds me of the time I..”digitally manipulated” (digits = fingers in this case) a girl I was dating in college without taking into account the vicks vaporub residue left on my hands. I was celibate for a few weeks after that
!
If you really want to burn sensitive areas, try eye drops from Rhoto….oh man!
I must say that from my experience running track and field that icy hot on the Junk FUCKING HURTS!
From: Nivea
To: Keith
Dear Keith:
Please stop using Nivea Men’s Cool Body Wash to masturbate with in the shower. This is not an intended use of our product and, while we did not put this warning directly on the label, we figured no one in their right mind would do such a thing considering the label said it contained menthol.
He was definitely playing not washing.
Any cool down body wash is good to use as a base when shaving if you have sensitive skin and have to shave daily. Use cold water to rinse the blades and afterwards to take the excess soap from your face.
@somecop: OK, lamebrain. If you can manage to wash yourself without touching yourself, you’ve achieved something unique in the history of bathing.
@somecop: hehe. I laughed.
@speedwell: Perhaps if you will re-read the comment I made you will notice it said nothing about “washing”.
Also, while I appreciate the anonymous internet name calling if you research the word “lamebrain” you will find the definition to be that of a “fool”. I’m off to see if “fool” translates to someone who fails to read and comprehend what someone writes and then calls them a silly name without understanding what they are talking about. Tootles.
@MeSoHornsby: “Why is this guy washing his genitals in the first place?” you ask.
In case you were wondering why you’re not getting a lot of sex…I think we have an answer.
@rainmkr:
You kidding? Gold Bond on the genitals is MARVELOUS. It’s like a cool breeze. The brave use the Medicated Gold Bond.
@speedwell: “It’s also true that all commercial soaps (not detergents) are made with some combination of a rendered fat or oil and caustic potash or lye…”
thanks for that, mr. durden.
The bodywash DOES say right on the front “with Menthol” in fairly large letters. I use it all the time, and it produces a slight cooling sensation, sometimes more intensely on my face than usual, but nothing too terrible. Perhaps he had an open cut or just extremely sensitive skin?
I wonder how many folk went out and bought this stuff after reading this testicular tingle story?
I use Dr. Bronner’s peppermint… the stuff will give your armpits and junk the chills.