Yum! Brands Introduces New Wearable Feedbags

Whether you’re trying to get as much of your Yum! Brand food into your mouth as humanly possible or just not in the mood to raise those heavy old arms to feed yourself, new wearable feed bags are functional, fashionable and sweeping the nation. Foods from Taco Bell, KFC and Pizza Hut work the best, but we’ve found that wearable feedbags work on almost any kind of food, and they look great too. See The Onion video, inside…


New Wearable Feedbags Let Americans Eat More, Move Less[The Onion]

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  1. Noiddog says:

    Ahhh… Onion. You never cease to amaze me!

  2. chiieddy says:

    My coworkers want to know why I’m laughing so hard.

  3. techstar25 says:

    “Sometimes I don’t feel like moving my arms”.
    Priceless!

  4. mabus says:

    i wonder if this is on the new 79,89,99 cent menu at kentaco hut?

  5. terri88 says:

    are we as a society just getting lazier and lazier soon they wont b able to wipe all the crap off their face so we`ll invent something for that too or mayb just mayb someone will b burnt all over their face and then the lawsuits pop up and this new inventory gets put to bed.Whats next sometihng to wipe your ass when u go to the bathroom ORR is this a BIG joke this can b really rite or im i in the TWILIGHT zone

  6. tedyc03 says:

    @terri88: Ok, some people should really not be allowed to comment in writing on anything. Ever.

    Back to the importance of the day…

    I’m a fan of the feedbag. It frees up a hand while driving so I can brush my hair while I talk on the phone, instead of having uncombed hair and eating and talking at the same time.

  7. NonaKnulf says:

    Aaaaaaaand The Onion claims another victim….

  8. crapple says:

    @terri88: Please type in English or don’t type at all. That was painful to attempt to read.

    And apparently you’re new to the internet and haven’t ever heard of The Onion. Sad.

  9. Aphex242 says:

    “we’re always looking for more ways to get our products into our customer’s gaping maws.”

    Priceless lol

  10. notallcompaniesareevil says:

    The Onion News Network is the funniest thing going today. There are definitely times when it crosses the line (an anorexic guest on Today Now! giving diet tips, for instance) [www.theonion.com] but on the whole, there is some absolutely amazing stuff. The DonkeyBall segment was stunning ([www.theonion.com]); and the Blockbuster segment was jaw-dropping ([www.theonion.com] which I think was blogged here before?).

    What makes the whole thing work are the little things they get right. The jingle, the mannerisms, it all just works. My favorite moment in the Feedbag story is at 0:11. The way the actress moves from the intro to the subject is so spot on, it’s scary. They obviously put a lot of work into this and it shows. And of course the crawl at the bottom means you have to watch everything twice.

  11. running across the ticker on the bottom:

    Shasta soda company unveils ‘new look, same fucking disgusting taste’ ad campaign.

  12. no.no.notorious says:

    DON’T GIVE THEM ANY IDEAS!!!!!

  13. Tim Henson on Distorted View had this idea ages ago. He came up with “Cankles”, the family eatery. It featured feed troughs prominently, and also had circus grade cranes in each restaurant to lift patrons who couldn’t move themselves.

  14. whatdoyoucare says:

    “For an additional $.50 they will throw the soda in there…” Lol and gagging at the same time.

  15. Jay Slatkin says:

    This story reminds me of one of Patton Oswalt’s bits.

  16. plasticredtophat says:

    WOW! those are sexy!….

  17. forgottenpassword says:

    Now all I need is a KFC’s “slop bucket” famous bowl to put in it!

  18. Shutaro says:

    Definitely a fan of the feedbag.

  19. @terri88: Seriously?
    Wow, if you believe that, I have some ocean front property in Nevada I can sell you.

    I almost spit my coffee on my keyboard watching this.

  20. homerjay says:

    @terri88: I’m embarrassed for you. Noob.

  21. Skankingmike says:

    They didn’t mention how i drink? I want Intravenous SODA!!!!

  22. RogerDucky says:

    This is pretty funny, but the feed bags they show are definitely not designed for people — people don’t have long tongues or mouths that can reach the food inside. I mean, it only works for horses because they have such long faces…

  23. Red_Eye says:

    Ahh overloud auto-playing effing video. Epic FAIL

  24. donkeyjote says:

    @RogerDucky: Is it just me or did a plane just fly over your head?

  25. theBIG says:

    I have a friend who created something like this for real. He loves sunflower seeds but hates eating them inside, so he created this bag that he could hang around his neck and spit the shell into while he was working on the computer.

    it looked ridiculous, and his wife thought it was awful, but it worked.

  26. Shannon says:

    I’m dying with laughter….. still, after an hour of first reading this.

  27. I thought this was real at first…

  28. Life_Sandwich says:

    When did The Onion become Mad TV?

  29. Jay Slatkin says:

    @Red_Eye: Despite autostart being set at false, it still autoplays. Sorry about that. I don’t like it either.

  30. Razorgirl says:

    I actually *facepalm*’d at this one. Of course it is now making the rounds at the office.

  31. jfischer says:

    This was a Saturday Night Live Skit aired back when Chevy Chase was on the show. 1980-something or other.

    Saturday Night Live also did a skit where the multi-blade disposable razor had THREE blades (rather than just two).

    While it was a very funny joke at the time, we have since had 3 blades (Mach3, 1998) and FIVE blades (Fusion, 2007), so I guess someone watched the show as a kid, grew up, and realized that people WILL buy any line you feed them.

  32. quirkyrachel says:

    Haha, for a moment I really thought it was real.

  33. The_AntiVirus says:

    I seriously don’t think this will catch on. I don’t really like the idea of a feedbag since it only promotes laziness. Besides, we are not animals, we are people. Don’t be lazy to eat your food with your arms. Why else are we born with arms?

  34. drjayphd says:

    @The_AntiVirus: To point and laugh at you for taking this seriously, that’s why. :)

  35. Hadouken says:

    teri88, RogerDucky, and The_Antivirus all need a banhammer for being ignorant.

    The Onion will forever be a classic. Last time I went there I watched the Ninja Parade….rofl.

  36. Bruce_A says:

    @terri88: I find it amusing that you’re bemoaning the apparent laziness of others when you yourself are so lazy you can’t be bothered with punctuation and proper spelling (e.g. abbreviating “be” to “b”).

  37. el-brazo-onofre says:

    @jfischer: You must be thinking of this Onion article: F*** Everything, We’re Doing Five Blades

  38. donkeyjote says:

    @theBIG: What’s wrong with just using a spitoon or bowl for the shells?

  39. Anonymous says:

    graffiksguru, it’s supposed to be Arizona. “I got some ocean front property in Arizona. From my front porch you can see the sea. I got some ocean front property in Arizona. And if you’ll buy that, I’ll throw the golden gate in free.” -George Strait

    Anyway, it’s obviously a big joke. It looks hideous! Plus, the food would suck really bad. I tried putting my food in a blender while I was waiting on a crown for my tooth and couldn’t chew hard things. The best tasting foods are horrible when you blend them. That’s why adults don’t eat baby food. Plus, the food is supposed to go in your mouth not all over your face like a little pig.