Will these new smoothies also taste burnt?

So they're offering Italian ice? I used to love getting those things from the good humor truck.

Limoncello, perhaps?

Nail in the coffin for Jamba Juice?

@chiieddy: Limoncello is so awesome.

One can make a smoothie at home that will taste far better than anything a burnt-water conglomerate 'smoothistas' can whip up. In fact, the home smoothie would probably be enough for 4 people for the same price as the corporation's offering. And you have the added benefit of knowing exactly what's in it (no dark thumbs).

I think Starbucks is desperately scrambling for ideas to increase revenue. I recommend bacon. Bacon will save them.

@ChuckECheese: Caffeinated bacon?

Revenue is down 21% for starbucks. Maybe instead of making more drinks, they should just lower the prices of the ones they have and not make me speak gay when trying to order a drink.

"umm yes, can I have a venti passion tea with honey"

@ChuckECheese: Bacon tastes really good when it's burnt. It's perfect!

Is it sad that as soon as I saw "wellness program", I thought Starbucks was going to start testing their baristas for steroids?

Starbucks way overextended themselves in a great hurry. So many Starbucks. Not enough customers to go around. Bye-bye, Starbucks.

@B: That sounds lovely.

@B: Have you seen the caffeinated Snickers bars? I thought about trying one, but I don't really like Snickers.

Schultz also hinted at some new secret "Italian" beverage:

Since it must be posted:

Italian, or perhaps Fritalian?

@drjayphd: Doh! Beat me by a single refresh!

@B: They have caffeinated soap... why not?!

Starbucks can't even make a cup of coffee taste good. I have no confidence that their smoothies and fruity drinks will taste any better.

Besides, if Starbucks charges $4 for a cup of water and burnt coffee beans what are they going to charge for a cup of shaved ice and flavored Kool-aid, $6?

If these smoothies are cheaper than the ones at Planet Smoothie or Smoothie King, I would definitely consider it. You can spend nearly seven bucks on a smoothie at those places. Knowing Starbucks, though, I'm sure it will be the same or even more.

@samurailynn: Sounds like that's along the same lines as Boost Guarana bars, apart from the caffeine bit. I remember one review I read likened the taste to 'camel sperm'. Which was nice.

I get a feeling these smoothies will be just as half-assed as the array of other products that Starbucks offer. Anyone else???

@samurailynn: Yes, yes it is. :-)

"we found a unique beverage platform"

....

Am I the only person who read this and thought they found some new tables?

@Lambasted: That's $4 for espresso and like 20oz of steamed milk plus flavored syrup.

"Burnt" coffee and water will only cost you $1.72 for unlimited refill (if you use a registered gift card). Have you ordered anything from Starbucks recently?

@Shmonkmonk: Umm...clearly you are not a very intuitive person. (1) I believe the tone of my comment makes it abundantly clear that I have not ordered anything from Starbucks recently. But in case you missed it, the word "burnt" is clue for you. Only a fool would "recently" pay for something that one thinks tastes like burnt caaca.

And (2) your lack of intuitiveness also precludes you from recognizing when someone is being facetious. Obviously my comment was meant to imply that Starbucks' coffee (IN WHATEVER FORM) is overpriced and so will their new concoctions.

But by all means, defend your $4 flavored syrup steamed milk and whatever else Starbucks serves to you in their overly hyped fashion. I prefer to spend my money on something that doesn't taste like crap.

I don't see how they're going to merge the hip-cool atmosphere with the constant whir of 30,000 rpm smoothie blenders. Ever hang out in a Jamba Juice for a couple hours, or see anyone doing that? Most of the Jamba Juices I've been to have 0-4 inside chairs, and I frequent about 8 different locations. It's just too loud inside their stores, and you need that kind of noise to make a good smoothie (until Blendtec comes out with a quiet model).

Italian Sodas I bet...

I thought Starbucks was trying to make an effort to go back to its roots?

Yes! I need me some protein with my coffee addiction. Thanks Starbucks!

The whey protein is a plus - I avoid soy protein. And as long as it doesn't have high-fructose corn syrup, I'll probably give one a try.

@B: Caffeinated bacon, served plain, or chocolate-coated!

@B: Italian ice? Yes, please!

@Sherryness: Do you think the whey protein will come from BGH-free cows?

@ludwigk:

This is my main concern. When I go to Starbucks, it's usually to sit for an hour or two and read or do a little laptop work over a couple espresso drinks. It's a nice place to go that's not home or the office. The noise from the blenders (especially in the summer) destroys what little atmosphere they have and makes it not much better than McDonalds. If I have to listen to two blenders a minute, I'm not staying.

@ChuckECheese: Three cheers for bacon!

And who, pray tell, is this mysterious fruity Italian they are offering drinks...Liberace?

@ludwigk: Now Starbucks can answer the age old question...

Will it blend?

@RandomHookup: I think it had something to do with a venti passion tea with honey.

I hope they will offer free samples like they did with Pike Place coffee.

Lame.

Jeez, why not just add Italian sodas? A small carbonated tap, the same syrup you use for everything else, and ice. Shake or stir a bit, and voila!

**still bitter from the time she was craving an Italian soda, and all there was around was Starbucks**

@Lambasted: I challenge you to show me a beverage that's made simply of water and burnt coffee beans.

Unless you're talking about a quintuple-shot espresso or something.

I thought the CEO was recently dismayed by a diversion away from coffee, and was trying to bring Starbucks back to basics, to be real coffeehouses "again".

Guess not.

The Starbucks here used to have Italian sodas, but they all stopped making them a couple of years ago. I never understood why. Joe Muggs still makes 'em, though.

I also miss Chantico. I think I was the only person I knew who could drink it.

It wasn't a smoothie, but they should bring back the pomegranate frapuccino. Yummy.

@RandomHookup: Liberace = Polish-American.

[en.wikipedia.org]

@ChuckECheese: They DO have bacon - they started doing those not delicious little breakfast sandwiches and one of them was bacon and egg. Still didn't save it.

@COELACANTH: that would be the regular brewed coffee and Starbuck's brewed coffee has always tasted burnt to me.

@lizzybee: The coffee shop I used to work at did Creamosa's! Basically an Italian soda with a small splash of half and half. It's the most delicious thing ever, especially with strawberry syrup.

Hmm... Well, they have 7/11s in Itally. Maybe they'll start selling Slurpees, the ultimate carbonated flavored-ice beverage.

are we talking real smoothies... or "smoothies" with sugar and "fruit" like that shit they sell at cosi.

@jaydeflix: I think what drives me nuts about corporate buzzwords, more than the ones that they made up or how overused they are, if the ones that are normal words misappropriated and used incorrectly.

No, Starbucks, you didn't find a "unique beverage platform." You found "a unique product that is new to American shores and will provide you with a new opportunity to better present your customers with a larger assortment of great Starbucks products."

See? It's not only LONGER and packed with MORE nonsense, but it doesn't misuse a single word.

Am I the only one who's questioning the "unique" aspect of this whole thing? Italian shaved-ice and fruit concoction... Hmm. Sounds suspiciously like some of the offerings at any one of a half-dozen small indie shops down the road from my nearest Starbucks. Maybe they're looking for antoher industry to try to drive out of existence?