The New York Times recently published an article about those interactive voice response systems that we all hate so much, and in it we were introduced to Walter Rolandi. He designs these systems and it’s his great privilege to be able to listen to you swearing at them.
From the New York Times:
Walter Rolandi is founder of the Voice User Interface Company, which designs and assesses interactive voice response systems for companies. As part of his job, he hears how people use the systems.
“I’ve listened to thousands of people interacting with machines,” Mr. Rolandi said. “You hear sighs of resignation. You hear people swear. If businesses knew what I knew, they would not design them this way. Many people do not take into account the emotional state of the customer. When you call someone for customer service, you’ve got a problem and you’re probably in a bad mood. You hear someone telling you your call is so important that we won’t let you talk to a human. Then they slap people with too many options, and eventually, you’re in a fight with the system. When you do get a customer representative, you’re loaded for bear.”
So the next time you’re stuck in an endless “press 2, press 3, press 4, say your name” hell, be sure to say “hi” to Walter.. just in case.
Far From Always Being Right, the Customer Is on Hold [NYT]
(Photo: Getty)
More From Consumerist
-
Cancer-Stricken Student Convinces Aetna CEO To Pay Off His Medical Bills Via Twitter
-
Pandora Introduces 40-Hour Monthly Listening Limit On Free Mobile Streaming
-
Homeland Security Hoping To Find Device To Replace Pat-Downs
-
Citi Decides Customers Want $5.95 Security Service, Check Off Box In Advance For Them
-
Alaskans Cruelly Denied Of A Taco Bell Rewarded With Truck Flown In Carrying 10,000 Doritos Locos Tacos
@xirian: Don’t use XM, but LL Bean does that. It’s really nice.
I’ll still take a DTMF (touch-tone) phone tree over one of those voice-recognition systems any day.
Please, the companies don’t give a crap. That’s why they have these useless systems in the first place. WELCOME TO CORPORATE AMERICA! THE RUINATION OF THE COUNTRY. Next time you see a CEO driving by in his Mercedes, Key it.
what i did a few times to an automated system and outsourced center. is instead of saying the digits one by one I would combine them. I would say five thousand three hundred twenty two rather them 5 3 2 2. Makes me feel better confusing the rep when I had to wait for so long to get a human
My favorite thing to do to the maddening Northwest Airlines system, is to talk gibberish. After the third nonsense reply, she says, “I think you need to talk to a representative.”
I’ve gotten to the point where I serenade the darn things. It’s more polite than swearing, and I feel no more silly than if I seriously made the attempt to communicate with it.
What works, works, you know?
Always have that problem with the automated systems.
I hate Bell Canada’s system the worst.
“Thank you for calling Bell Canada, to continue in English please stay on the line, to continue in French, say French”
Me: Background noise gets into the headset
“Merci pour choisi Bell Canada…mon non est Emilie… sil vous plait…. etc”
Ugh…..
Redial,
“Thank you for calling Bell Canada, to continue in English please stay on the line, to continue in French, say French”
“This is Emily, your automated assistant…please say what you are calling about”
Me: Pay my bill.
“I believe you are calling regarding telephone repair service, if that is correct please say yes.”
Me: No.
“Welcome back to the main menu.”
Me: I want to pay my f^%$*ng god-^%&# bill!
“Ok, let me transfer you to our automated payment system”.
Me: Good grief, another system!
I have been suspicious of this since call trees hacve existed. When I’m on the phone waiting, I’m cursing up a storm. And always in my mind “can they hear me.” Now I know they can. And I’m going to keep cursing. And if that guy is listening, I’m gonna pass him some messages.
@witeowl: I hate to admit it, since I hate that Charter system, but it’s actually pretty advanced. It has the capability to check the uptime on your modem and check the settings on your modem to see if it’s working right. It can also tell if you’ve called a few times, because if you hang up a couple of times during it, you get transferred right to a tech on the next call.
with bell canada’s system say “live person” and it will connect you with a live person – takes a few times saying it to confuse the system though
Automated System: Please say your name.
Larry Valentine: Larry Valentine
AS: You said “Barry Schmalentine”
LV: Schmalentine?
AS: You said “Schmalentine”
LV: I was enunciating
AS: You said “I was enunciating”
LV: WHOOOOO!
AS: You said “WHOOOOO!”
That was one of the best parts of I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.
@dragonfire81: God, yes! I’ve snarled about “Simone” here once or twice. Bless you for letting me know I’m not the only one.
I just had to register when I came across this.
I used to work for a company that did something similar to this. We were hired by different companies to listen in and direct people’s calls by the commands they gave. Once a person gave a command, we would send them to the correct menu and they would bounce to the next “CSR”. If a person got mad and started cussing and asking for a CSR, we would simply hit the “Repeat” button which would repeat the commands and start the process all over.
Delta Airlines and Newark Airport in New Jersey both have this system as well as a phone/internet company in the midwest whose name escapes me. I believe AOL also has the system in place these days.
I always say, “give me an f***ing human” just in case someone, somewhere is ever listening (live or on memorex).