The Art Of Ordering A McDonald's 2 Cheeseburger Extra Value Meal With No Cheese

At some undefined point in our fast food history, there was a brief flash and the 2 Hamburger Extra Value Menu slipped into extinction. One theory is that it is McDonald’s attempt to involuntarily up-sell us to cheese. The casual observer might conclude that the customer must certainly be able to order a 2 Cheeseburger Extra Value Meal minus the cheese, even if said customer has to pay for the cheese. It is not that easy. “At McDonald’s, if there’s no button for it on the register it doesn’t exist,” says “Bagumpity,” a Consumerist Forums reader. Not content with letting McDonald’s play God with his 2 Hamburger Extra Value Meal, Bagumpity discusses the strange world of confusion and twisted logic he is forced to enter each time he tries to order a 2 Cheeseburger Extra Value Meal with no cheese. His letter, inside…

Why won’t McDonald’s sell the 2-hamburger extra value meal (henceforth called the 2HEVM) anymore? Yeah, I know why- they’d have to charge less than a 2-cheeseburger extra value meal (2CEVM). Paying extra for cheese I don’t want ticks me off, but the worse thing is that half the time I can’t even get a 2HEVM!

Have you ever tried to order a 2HEVM? It confuses the heck out of the register drones. There’s no button for it, and as you know: At McDonald’s, if there’s no button for it on the register it doesn’t exist. Some restaurants have it as a “hidden menu” item, so I always ask for it first. The answer is usually “no” (or the clerk doesn’t know, which amounts to the same thing). So I have to ask if they will substitute hamburgers for cheeseburgers. Sometimes I’ll get lucky, and they’ll do that. More likely, though, they’ll tell me they don’t do sandwich substitutions. Actually, the usual response is “there’s no button for that.”

As a last resort, sometimes I have to ask for “Two Cheeseburgers, No Cheese.” Don’t ever do this. As many McDonald’s order takers have tried to explain to me “cheese burgers without cheese are just hamburgers.” In other words, they are a non-item. A thing that cannot exist. Anathema. They tell me this so patiently, as if I’m on the verge of a mental break down or might burst into tears when confronted with this apparent contradiction.

I’ve tried getting clever, but it doesn’t help. Asking for the cheese “on the side” (even with the utterly believable explanation that I “don’t like my cheese to be melted”) is useless since there is no button for “cheese on the side” on the register. Asking for a Kosher cheeseburger will only be met with a blank stare or a puzzled/confused glance at the register just to be sure that “there’s no button for that.”

If I’m lucky, I’ll be able to cajole them into ordering the 2CEVM and pressing the “grill:no-cheese” button. They’ll be nervous about it though. Afterward, they’ll stare at the register as if they expect it to blow up or start waving robotic arms around and shouting “DOES… NOT…COMPUTE….”

This will kick off a bizarre chain of events. The guy nuking burgers and condimentizing buns in the back will see a grill order for cheeseburgers, hold the cheese. Fellow employees will be asked for advice. Manuals and build-a-burger charts will be consulted. Finally, two decisions must be made: Will there be cheese? And what color paper will be used to wrap the tasty little paradoxes?

You just never know. It’s sort of like Christmas that way. Usually, I just get a couple of cheeseburgers wrapped in orange paper. Bizarrely enough, I’ve even received a couple of cheeseburgers wrapped in white paper. Either way, I consider this a necessary step, the follow-up to which is to change lines and tell the next clerk “I ordered hamburgers but got cheeseburgers.” They happily exchange the sandwiches. Exchanges are something they know how to do. I think there’s even a button for it. Everyone’s happy, and I go on my way cheeseless and a better man for it.

On other luckier occasions, I actually get a couple of hamburgers. Cause for rejoicing, indeed! Sometimes they’ll be wrapped in orange paper, sometimes in white. I don’t really care, except it’s a pain to have to check every fricking time.

The one thing I try to look out for is when they wrap my hamburgers in orange paper, and then the kid serving the drive-thru window will snatch them up and send them out the window. I don’t want some poor schmuck to get drive-thru rage from a case of missing cheese.

All this to get the extra 10cts for always up-selling to the cheese level probably costs them a good $1 per order in salaries (since the whole damn restaurant has to get involved) not to mention the cost of the discarded food.

Seriously, what’s so hard about adding another fricking button to the register?

We salute you and your quest, Bagumpity. We should not be forced to endure McDonald’s lactose-laden wrath any longer. You are a modern day Bobby Dupea from the film “5 Easy Pieces.” The next time a McDonald’s employee says, “You want me to hold the cheese?” You say, “I want you to hold it between your knees.”


Two Cheeseburgers, No Cheese
[Consumerist Forums]

Comments

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  1. Derp says:

    Why not just order 2 hamburgers and fry and drink, are those not all items on the dollar menu?

  2. ElijahDProphet says:

    That is one of the best Nicholson scenes ever.

  3. freshyill says:

    Maybe you need to go to a different McDonald’s. Or maybe you just need to tell them to turn around and tell the guy working the grill to not put cheese on it. Maybe this is the biggest fucking boo-hoo-who-the-hell-cares story I’ve ever seen on Consumerist?

    Besides, this is nothing. I tried to get that new chicken sandwich on the day they were giving them away for free two weeks ago and they gave me a Filet O Fish.

    A FILET O FISH! SOME OF US HAVE REAL PROBLEMS, MISTER.

  4. Morberis says:

    My Mcdonalds does it just fine…. but then again its Canadian.

  5. B says:

    @freshyill: But Filet o fish is chicken, why do you think they call it chicken of the sea?

  6. leprofie says:

    It reminds me when I ordered a cheeseburger “plain” (to me meaning no condiments). I got a cheese sandwich … no meat!

  7. kylenalepa says:

    @Derp: Dollar menus are different depending on the location; plus, the combo would almost certainly be cheaper than ordering each item a la carte.

  8. Poster99 says:

    What is the cost difference between ordering the 2 Cheeseburger extra value meal (since it sounds like you almost always pay for the cheese even if you don’t get it) vs. ordering the hamburgers, fries and drink separate?

  9. MeOhMy says:

    LOL…it’s like Neil Stephenson come true!

  10. @Derp: That would be around 4 bucks, which I’m pretty sure is more expensive than what he is trying to order.

    My wife has the same problem. At nearly every restaurant we visit she’ll clearly order a hamburger, at which point everyone stares at her blankly and asks what kind of cheese she wants on that. NONE! It’s called a hamburger for a reason.
    Half the time she’ll still get cheese on it and have to send it back which is annoying as hell as I have the dubious choice of eating in front of her, or waiting and eating with her but being stuck with cold food. It’s a never-ending battle.

    Cue everyone calling my wife, myself, and the writer a cry-baby in 3..2..1…

  11. PinkNightmare says:

    I’m a proud member of the he-man-cheese-haters club and I’m convinced the people that work at McDonald’s (at least those that I’ve been to)are trained to believe that when someone says, “NO cheese, I’m allergic to it and it will kill me” they are really saying, “I love cheese, give me extra”…but that’s just me.

  12. OzoftheJungle says:

    this was hysterical, thanks Bagumpity!

  13. backbroken says:

    Heaven forbid someone should have to take the cheese off themselves.

  14. fluiddruid says:

    Funnily enough, my occasional habit of ordering a cheeseburger or two without meat seems to cause no confusion whatsoever.

  15. B says:

    There’s a reason the 2CEVM exists and the 2HEVM doesn’t, and it has nothing to do with the 10 cent price difference or the ingredient cost of the cheese slices. Cheeseburgers are more popular than hamburgers, so the staff are trained to make them quickly (and ahead of time). Hamburgers, on the other hand, would end up sitting around if made ahead of time, so McDonald’s discourages the sale of hamburgers by eliminating the 2HEVM. Of course, if the hamburgers were to become more popular, McDonald’s could change their policy, but I doubt it would happen.

  16. Derp says:

    I havent seen the 2 hamburger OR cheeseburger value meal at McDonalds for years!

  17. Leofan7 says:

    This is a bit of a whiny article, but I still can’t believe that McDonalds, the company that got its start making HAMBURGERS, doesn’t even have a button for them anymore. That’s almost like Chili’s not having chili on the menu, yet still having loads of chili memorabilia on the walls.

  18. Jesse says:

    A regional fast food chain I prefer to eat at, Runza, fortunately does not have this logic problem. I order their cheeseburger meal without cheese and there’s no confusion or real questions that follow.

    Occasionally I will get the facetious individual who will ask “So you just want a hamburger with fries and a drink, right?” but that’s rare.

    Their fries are also 50x better than McDonalds.

  19. Leofan7 says:

    Oh, and yeah, I like the cheeseburgers better, though.

  20. ThinkerTDM says:

    Try ordering it in spanish. Then they would understand you.

  21. Hanke says:

    @backbroken: Are you an idiot? Have you ever tried to remove metled cheese from a pourous surface (such as a burger and bun)? It’s harder than removing it from a toaster, and if you DO have an allergy, missing some of the cheese could cause issues.

  22. Hanke says:

    @ThinkerTDM: They don’t know spanish anymore. You need to speak Creole, or talk in clickee-tongue.

  23. dakotad555 says:

    @backbroken:

    yeah, because it’s so easy to scrape it off once it’s melted onto the burger paty. That’s like saying “if you don’t like the kind of dressing on your salad, just scrape it off.”

    As a person allergic to things (not cheese thank god!) it is highly frustrating when you cannot get employees to register the fact that what they are trying to feed you will cause an allergic reaction!

  24. friendlynerd says:

    @PinkNightmare:
    So good to know there are more of us out there. I always get incredulous looks when I say I hate cheese. Like I killed their dog or something.

    Not allergic, just don’t like it. Is that really so strange?

  25. Sad thing is I do remember when the double hamburger meal was still on the menu, it was a #10 if memory serves me…but then again it’s been 8 years sense I’ve eaten @ a mcd’s….the though of that crap makes me sick.

  26. apotheosis says:

    Manuals and build-a-burger charts will be consulted.

    Aren’t these the guys working with the Illuminati and Trilateral Commission to take over the world?

  27. bohemian says:

    The funniest thing I ever saw was someone ordering a whopper with no meat in the car in front of me at a Burger King.

    It was like a real life Monty Python skit.

  28. Nissan288 says:

    i just tell them I”m allergic to whatever it is I don’t want in my food. Then the kid will freak out and call the manager and they generally make the effort to fix it in fear of getting sued.

  29. Shinzou says:

    I assumed that the reason he didn’t want cheese is because he was trying to be Kosher. He mentions Kosher in his post and if he was ordering hamburgers for that reason, then scraping the cheese off would not suffice.

  30. SuffolkHouse says:

    I submitted a story to Consumerist about CitiMortgage repeatedly sending to me the private mortgage information about another one of their customers. Because our names were similar, they were sending me their mortgage information. The refused to correct the mistake. They didn’t just NOT correct the mistake; they told me that this wasn’t their responsibility, and that I had to fax all of my information to their investigations department. I had to do it, because their offices had no out-going phones (and I’m a magical stone!).

    I bring this up, because Consumerist refused to run the story. Now, we are getting stories about a guy who can’t get is discounted hamburger meal.

    WTF?

  31. Leah says:

    this is strange. I’ve never had that problem at McD’s. I regularly get a double hamburger, which they always ring up as double cheeseburger with no cheese. I don’t typically get the HEVM, but I bet it’d be the same.

  32. B says:

    @SuffolkHouse: Try posting your story in the forums. Or include a funny YouTube link.

  33. Hanke says:

    @Shinzou: If you are keeping kosher, you don’t eat at McD’s.

  34. coan_net says:

    I love my morning Sausage-egg-cheese bagels from McDonalds…. that bad thing is they stopped offering it on their menu about 2 years ago – now they just have steak-egg-cheese or bacon-egg-cheese.

    My local McDonalds all still know how to ring up a sausage-egg-cheese bagel – but the problem happens when I’m at a non-regular McDonalds – I’ve gotten upcharged for a more expensive steak-egg-cheese begal substitute steak/sausage – And the most unique one was when I was charged for a begal – charged for a sausage – and charged for an egg – and charged for cheese – like they were building it from scratch, and ended up being something like a $8 item!

  35. CajunGuy says:

    Wait, you mean I’m not the only person on the planet who orders stuff without cheese? Holy cow!

    Actually, I used to be allergic to cheese (and most other dairy products), but through numerous shots as a kid am no longer allergic, but I just can’t stand cheese. I guess it’s a texture thing.

    Anywho, it’s extremely frustrating to go to just about ANY fast food joint and try to order their signature items without cheese. Probably the worst for me is Sonic. Why, oh why, is it so freakin’ hard to order an extra long cony with NO CHEESE. When I was in college I went to Sonic after getting off work and literally returned my cony 4 times before they got it right. On the last attempt I had to specify exactly what to put on the bun: chili, mustard, wiener…that’s it! I was just waiting for the smart ass to ask “you still want the bun”?

  36. @bohemian: Hmmm hopefully they figured out that it’s called a Veggie Whopper and it’s been around for at least 15 years.

  37. Vejadu says:

    Runza’s fries are 50x better than anyone else. Pretty much everything on the Runza menu is fantastic.

    I often get the $1.29 jr. swiss mushroom burger at Runza. It’s quite a bit bigger than McDonald’s double cheeseburger and the quality is much better.

  38. junkmail says:

    @Vejadu: Much agreed, but I think Runza is a midwest phenomenon, so most these folks aren’t going to know who you’re talking about. :)

  39. Smaugster says:

    Uh,,,WHY would you eat at this dump? This company need’s to be shut down now! It’s “food” is crap, and it really gives a bad smell to the industry. Serious, I almost puke every time I am near one of these garbage heaps.
    A vending machine has more class.

  40. fostina1 says:

    at my mcdonalds a sweet tea hold the sugar is cheaper than an unsweet tea. crazy huh.

  41. Laffy Daffy says:

    In the Burger King hold-the-pickle-hold-the-lettuce days one of my friends once ordered “a Whopper with everything, hold the meat” and you would have thought he was robbing the place. The cashier had to call the supervisor, who had to call the manager from his back-room office. It took good 10 minutes to get the order processed.

  42. packetsniffer says:

    I’ve had this problem for years because I’m lactose intolerant. Ordering a double cheeseburger without cheese confuses the heck out of the mindless rule followers that work there. Some McDonalds have a button for a double hamburger, but most do not, so I’ll end up with a receipt for a double cheeseburger with no cheese, but I’ll still get a double cheeseburger in the bag.

  43. Dave on bass says:

    @Leah: Ditto the double hamburger. I also used to regularly order an Egg McMuffin with no egg. That’s fun to watch, but I just wanted canadian bacon and cheese, their sandwich-eggs are abysmal in texture.

  44. @fostina1: Probably cause the sweet tea is that Nestea fountain crap while the regular Ice Tea is brewed in one of those big powerbrewers. (Least thats the way it was in the big restaurants I worked in years back)

  45. ophmarketing says:

    I like cheese just fine. I just can’t stand that “processed American slices” crap that gets passed off as cheese at McDonalds.

  46. newfenoix says:

    OMG!!! Someone else that has problems with the masters of burgers!!! Never ever order a chicken sandwich with just pickles and ketchup. It is impossible to make! I know, I ordered one for my daughter three years ago and asked for a refund after they got it wrong SIX TIMES IN A ROW! And this is after I wrote the order out on paper and gave it to the general manager.

    I will never blame the OP for anything on this site but stay the hell away from that place!

  47. donopolis says:

    Ha ha haha! Remember those hot side stays hot and cool side stays cool burgers that McDonald’s put out about 20 years ago? I was forever trying to get them to put the cheese on the hot side…y’know so it would melt.

    I solved the problem by just not eating there anymore.

    Don

  48. IconoclasticFlow says:

    I have had this problem so many times it stopped being funny, then became funny again. I’ve found the following to work best:
    1) “Do you still have a 2 Cheeseburger meal?” (answer is usually Yes)
    2) “Can I get that with hamburgers INSTEAD of cheeseburgers?”
    —-pause—–
    3) “I’m lactose intolerant – I can’t have dairy.”
    [this is not STRICTLY true, but partially true]
    This usually gets them on the ball, though I too have received everything from regular hamburgers to hamburgers wrapped in orange wrappers. From their point of view, a customer vomiting everywhere from eating a piece of unrequested cheese is enough of a concern to get me my hamburgers.

  49. raab says:

    I have had similar problems with ordering breakfast sandwiches at Dunkin Donuts. On numerous occassions I have tried to order a ham and cheese breakfast sandwich without the egg(I don’t eat eggs)….with problems. One time the clerk behind the counter said thant since it didn’t have have egg it became a ham sandwich and tried to charge me a buck or so more. I ended up ordering the sandwich with egg and taking it off and leaving it on the counter.

  50. FearlessUser says:

    Good to know I’m not the only one who deals with this. Not that I’m against the cheese on a cheeseburger, just the stuff McD’s tries to pass off as cheese. I’d put it in the wax family.

  51. Rastaman4200 says:

    i Used to be a manager at McDonalds for like 4 years and if the people at your local cant figure out NO CHEESE then they are just stupid…i know there are at least 4 different ways they could put it into the computer system so that you could get no cheese(granted you may still need to pay for the cheese as McDonalds computers wont let them subtract money from an order based on whats on the sandwhich) but if all else fails i dont see why they cant turn around and say “No Cheese on the cheeseburgers” as thats what alot of people did at our store. I would suggest speaking to a manager and asking what the trouble is with ordering no cheese,

  52. chris101d says:

    Insider Point of view here…

    The item was roomed in 2001 IIRC, but the 2CEVM was kept as a request only item.

    Mcdonalds re standardized the computer ordering screens for ALL US LOCATIONS late summer 2007, which meant all employees had to be retrained…

    I had to retrain many of them.. to this day many dont venture off the beaten path and explore new places on the menu and only stick to the brand new large sized buttons for 1-11, and $ Menu and DRINKS…

    but the button IS there everywhere around the counrty…

    also…a cheeseburger is 92c, a medium fry is 1.39, and a medium drink is 1,39 also (on standard prices..idk about where you live)…the evm should be ~4.50 so the savings arent even that great..

    oh and
    The guy nuking burgers..Mcdonalds does not and has not ever nuked our burgers…we dont have a microwave…we do have Q Ovens..but those are for cinnamon buns, breakfast buritos…all Mcdonalds buns are toasted to order, and the meats are cooked every X minutes depending on the meat…and stored in heated trays, the longest the 10:1 meet for a cheese/hamburger stays is 10 minutes…

  53. chris101d says:

    @Rastaman4200: Actualyl I think theres 4 or 5 ways to add something but only one way to remove it now…NO cheese, or Repl/w

  54. katylostherart says:

    @Derp: genius!

  55. Diet-Orange-Soda says:

    Post of the year. Hands down.

  56. ShawnStruck says:

    Y’know.. I can certain;y understand Bagumpity’s frustration…

    …but I really, really could have done without the paragraphs of condecenscion heaped upon the WORKERS there.

  57. Applekid ┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ) says:

    While a burger without cheese is anathema to me anyway, this was an awesome read.

    It should be on Lifehacker.

  58. sysak says:

    I used to be a Mcdonald’s Manager in college. The two hamburger meal was on every register, even though it wasn’t on the menu. We had a special extinct value meal section, and could make pretty much any extinct meal you wanted as long as we had the supplies to make it. Having the actual button in the system is completely up to the general manager and/or owner of the store though. It should be in the computer system, but it doesn’t have to be assigned. Creating it without the actual meal was as easy as pressing this string of buttons: #2cheez, medcoke, w/o, cheez. or yelling no no queso into the back.(no joke)
    All Mcdonald’s registers regardless of who owns the store has modifiers (add, w/o, etc.)and extra items.(cheez, tomato, onion, etc.) With Mcdonald’s it is mostly about getting intelligent staff members, which sadly are hard to come by due to the low pay of the job.

  59. Channing says:

    So wait, we’re getting pissed off at the workers because you’re telling them to do something they weren’t trained to do? What about writiers, should they paint? Why can’t cats bark?

    That was hyperbole, I awknowledge that. However, I’m just pretty upset at the whole situation. What’s the point on shitting on these poor workers that barely make enough to pay rent and feed their family? Do you get off on making other people’s lives miserable? If it’s such a huge hassle why don’t you buy food someplace else? As a consumer, that’s one of the strongest decisions you can make.

  60. balthisar says:

    Wow… POS machines must have taken a step back. Even back in the late 80′s, they were flexible enough to add or subtract virtually ANY ingredient available in the store. People talk about the “ghetto Big Mac.” Heh, that’s old news.

  61. stevegoz says:

    Burger King once told me that a Big King minus the sauce was just a double cheeseburger, and even though the Big King was on sale for less than the double cheeseburger, I couldn’t have it my way.

    Me, I gave up on fast food back when McD dropped the Spanish omelet bagel.

  62. Negative says:

    I too hate the nasty cheese they use on their sub-standard burgers.

    With that said, I rarely make a fuss about what comes on my burger. I bet this guy ingests a lot of spit and other “stuff”.

    Don’t piss off the McEmployees with difficult orders. You’re just asking for problems.

  63. Sucko-T says:

    I’ve had the opposite thing happen to me. I wanted two cheeseburgers plain (only meat and cheese) and for some reason they thought this meant hamburgers (just meat). I went back 3 times and they kept giving me no cheese. I ended up just eating them while my friends laughed at my misfortune.

  64. loueloui says:

    The MickeyD’s near my house is run by a local franchisee, and is unusually friendly, and competent. One time when I was in, my meal confounded the ordering system, and the cashier pressed a button that added the phrase ‘See cashier’ to the ordering screen, and my receipt. I thought that was about the best idea since the Egg McMuffin. Getting the cook to actually ask the person who took your order how you would like it prepared. Amazing how technology ruins things sometimes.

  65. dmann99 says:

    When I worked at BK order changes were pretty easy. (Remember, Have It Your Way!)

    There was an Add button and a Hold button and a list of ingredients on the register that could be pushed after an item was rung up. We used it most often to add meat to whoppers before double & triple whoppers were on the menu.

    Adding condiments was free, adding a meat/veggie/cheese ingredient was usually an extra charge, holding any ingredient was free. Had to watch how you rung stuff up or things could get pricey. A whopper hold the meat was a bit more expensive than a Veggie Whopper (had its own button).

    We used to have contests to come up with the most ridiculous items. At least on our registers you could ring up an “Apple Pie Add Ketchup Add Mustard Add Mayo Hold Cheese Hold Tomato Hold Lettuce Cut in 1/2″ … and all this for the price of a regular Apple Pie.

  66. Nighthawk Foo says:

    @chris101d:

    McDonald’s most certainly DID nuke its burgers. When I worked there from 1996-1998, all sandwiches were placed in the “Q-ing” ovens before being sent out of the grill area. This was before the advent of the cook-to-order system, so all the sandwiches would sit in the warming bin getting nice and stale.

  67. mthrndr says:

    @kylenalepa: combo usually isn’t cheaper if you’re talking about hamburgers (usually 79c apiece)

  68. skrame ? says:

    I ordered a double cheeseburger at McDonalds the other day. They only put a single patty on it. I took it back up to the counter, told them I ordered a double cheeseburger and they forgot to put the double on it. We all had a good laugh, and I walked away with a fresh double cheeseburger.

    I should have written a letter to someone instead.

  69. guroth says:

    you usually only save like 20 cents getting the “value meal” anyway so why not just order it all seperate.

    better yet just order the hamburgers and fries and leave the 400 calorie large pepsi for another time.

  70. chrisjames says:

    The “hidden menu” pisses me off. I’d usually get the 2CEVM, but for the last couple years when I still went to McDonald’s none of them showed it. I carefully explained to my wife to go ahead and order it and they’d know what to do. That brings up my other issue with fast food ordering: why in the hell do they have so much trouble when two people order food? When my turn comes around, they practically trip over themselves like they weren’t expecting me. If I let my wife order everything (since she has the more complicated taste) it’s all okay. Do they really not expect two people, practically standing on top of each other, to be ordering on the same tab? Did they really think the two of us were going to split a single McSquishedBurger? There’s always the issue of the register buttons, and William “D-FENS” Foster’s issues, too.

    I get that hyper-efficiency is a positive factor in fast food, but it’s sort of eroding the “convenience” it’s meant to induce.

  71. rmz says:

    Your McDonalds still have the two cheeseburgers meal?

    I’m jealous.

  72. ltlbbynthn says:

    @dakotad555: My friend and I went to McDonalds and she ordered a Big Mac with no onions, and told the counter help she was deathly allergic and they laughed about it.

  73. darkryd says:

    Just strip the cheese off the burger, lazy.

  74. mzhartz says:

    I worked at a McD’s in high school. I know the screens have changed since then, but I really doubt they got rid of the “no cheese” button.

  75. Cullen D says:

    For the love of god, not “No Cheese.” At one Point I almost jumped through the god damn drive through window to throttle the lday taking orders
    -”So you wanta quarter pounder without cheese?”
    -”Yep.”
    -”The quarter pounder comes with cheese.”
    -”Ok well I don’t want cheese.”
    -”So a quarter pounder without cheese?”
    -”Yes, as per my original order.”
    (Pull around window)
    -”So you wanted the quarter pounder MEAL without cheese?”
    -”Can I see your manager?”
    -(to manager)”Is this a joke? Is this lady trying to make me angry? Seriously, I have said at least 4 times, NO CHEESE.”
    -(Appologizes, lady comes back to window)
    -”So, a quarter pounder meal with no cheese?”
    -”ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME!?! I SAID NO CHEESE ABOUT A DOZEN TIMES AND ALREADY SPOKE WITH YOUR MANAGER. N-O C-H-E-E-S-E!”
    -”Sir, there is no need to shout.”
    -(Manager comes back)
    -”Sir, there is no need to shout at my employee. She is just trying to get the order right. I’ll put your order in and you can pull through and get it.”
    -”So did you want cheese on it?”
    -(glares at manager)
    -Pulls up to get the burger.

    THERE IS CHEESE ON IT.

  76. backbroken says:

    @dakotad555: @Hanke:

    Well then I guess I’m an idiot. At least I’m an idiot capable of ordering a hamburger instead of a cheeseburger without the cheese and making a federal case out of it when the high school student with 14 minutes of training behind the register can’t figure out how to process my dumb request. Geez.

  77. Mykro says:

    I feel the pain here… My dad and I both don’t eat beef. He doesn’t like it because he worked on a farm, and I can’t eat it, it makes me sick (from him not feeding it to me as a child). So, usually when he orders from McDonalds or Burger king, or the likes.. he usually asks for “A cheeseburger, no burger” or a “whopper, plain.. substitute the meat for cheese” or something similar. He usually gets really stupid looks.. but most of the time he just argues that he “just wants a damn fast-food grilled cheese”. And for me, I order the Tendercrisp chicken sandwhich, plain with bacon and cheese only. I want my $1.50 worth of lettuce, tomato, mayo, whatever else random crap they put on it!
    ChickenSandwhiches with just cheese are hard to come by :(

  78. PinkBox says:

    Damnit. Reading this is making me want cheeseburgers from McDonalds.

    I haven’t had one for years now.

  79. odhen says:

    A friend of mine hates cheese on his burgers, too.

    I think my favorite is when he orders a double cheeseburger with no cheese, and half the time(no matter what place, Runza excluded[go Runza!]) they get it half right. They hold the cheese on one patty, but the other one still has cheese on it. It’s pretty amazing.

  80. AustinTXProgrammer says:

    @backbroken:
    Most stupid comment ever.

  81. smallestmills says:

    a two hamburger meal has always been my standard and I’ve never had any problems. I usually start out by asking “Do you have a 2 hamburger meal or do I have to order it as the cheeseburger meal?” I’ve never run into a problem with it.
    I worked at McDs in h.s. in the 90s and I remember a co-worker waiting FOR-EV-ER on a grill order for “Two cheeseburgers no cheese.” That whine will stick with me always…”Guyyyss…I’m waiting on 2 cheeseburgers-no cheese! Guuuyyyyssss!!!!” and the shout back “Those are hamburgers, asshole!”

  82. theheights says:

    @Jesse: YES. I love Runza. I always order their Cheese Runza meal with no cheese, and they must have a button for the Original Runza meal still on their register, because they always ring it up correctly and it’s always cheaper.

    In regards to the 2CEVM, I’ve had this problem for years. I’m just not a fan of American “cheese”. I’ve actually had the cashier stand there idly waiting for the order. When the manager asked her what she was waiting for, she replied, “I’m waiting on two cheeseburgers with no cheese.” The manager looked at her like she was the dumbest person in the world.

  83. backbroken says:

    @AustinTXProgrammer: Thanks!

  84. Cowboy-Curtis says:

    After ordering a $1 double cheeseburger with no cheese, I’ve discovered that they do in fact have a button for a double hamburger. It will still cost you a dollar, but a single hamburger is .90. I consider that a win.

  85. Rachael says:

    They no longer have the cheese button? I worked at McDonald’s when I was a teenager and tons of people got the 2 Cheeseburger meal without cheese. NEVER a problem when I worked there. We’d get people who would order cheeseburgers without meat- you’d just make them a grilled cheese. I was sure they had a cheese button so you just told it to exclude cheese or meat- if there’s a way to say “extra cheese” there should be a way to say “no cheese.”

  86. lalawgirl says:

    Have you ever tried to just order a hamburger, small fries, and small drink at a McDs? Same thing. They just can’t understand why anyone would want to order a normal size portion.

  87. Anonymous says:

    This is a true story:

    My dad was in a Dunkin Donuts a couple years ago. He wanted the medium coffee + 2 donuts combo. However, his car cupholder did not fit a medium, so he asked for a small. The cashier said she couldn’t do it because that combo wasn’t in the computer. He said “just charge me for the medium but give me a small” because it was still cheaper than buying everything separate. The cashier maintainted that this would be impossible.

    Finally, the cashier consulted with a fellow employee. This was their solution to the problem:
    1) Pour a medium coffee
    2) Place a small cup next to said medium coffee
    3) Pour medium coffee into the small
    4) Discard remaining coffee in medium cup
    5) Charge my dad for the medium combo and hand him the small coffee + 2 donuts.

  88. quieterhue says:

    There is a very simple solution to your quandary, McDonalds. Make the 2-cheeseburger value meal and the 2-hamburger meal the SAME PRICE. Then you get your sales, and people get what they want. People are used to to paying way more for less food: Upscale restaurants always charge more for less (although the quality is better); and pretty much everywhere, including McDonalds people have to pay extra for a salad and water than they would for a sandwich-and-fries meal. Stop crippling your employees’ ability to serve people’s needs!

  89. xmod2 says:

    @chris101d:

    In 1998 when I worked at McDonalds, they had “microwaves” that everything went into before going up into the chutes.

    We’d toast the buns, build the burgers and send them down to be wrapped. They’d be wrapped, nuked, then thrown up in the warmer. Has this changed?

  90. He says:

    @Shinzou: It’s still not kosher to eat a hamburger that’s been cooked on the same grill as cheeseburgers without a whole cleansing process between them.

  91. P_Smith says:

    My biggest annoyance with trying to get special orders is that staff act like it’s some great hardship. It almost seems as if minimum-wagers as are trying to punish customers for asking.

    If I order a normal burger, it looks like every other, stacked neatly like it was made by a machine. If I order something with, say, no mayonnaise, more than half the time it comes to me a mess – meat hanging out, ketchup on the outside of the bun, etc. Why is politely asking for something without *one* thing so much trouble for them?

    And then try getting them to give you french fries with no salt. More than a few times, I’ve seen managers and other employees tossing salt on fries in the bin even after the person who took my order audibly said to them “one order without salt”, or even emptying my unsalted fries back into the bin and tossing salt on.

    It’s my experience only, but very rarely is it the clerk at the counter who screws up. It’s the people who know nothing about the order who usually do.

  92. AuraSeer says:

    I don’t know what “Bagumpity” is doing wrong, but I place that order every time I go to McDonald’s, and no one has ever given me an argument.

    “I’d like a #2 meal, but with hamburgers instead of cheeseburgers.” Every McD I’ve ever been to has accepted this without question.

    One time the bagger did make a mistake and give me cheeseburgers, but that had nothing to do with my order. He just got my bag mixed up with someone else’s.

  93. TPS Reporter says:

    I like cheese but not on a hamburger. I think it’s the melted part. It tastes and feels like runny snot in my mouth. I just order 2 of the hamburgers, small fry, small coke off the dollar menu. Solves the problem and so I pay $1 or 2 more, but how much is my time worth the non hassle? When McD’s 1st came out with the breakfast bagel sandwiches ours was toasting the bagel almost to a crisp, and I mean burnt. I asked the guy to not toast it, and he told me he didn’t know why anyone wouldn’t want it toasted. And this was the guy who owned the franchise.

  94. Greasy Thumb Guzik says:

    @Cullen D:
    If you use McD’s terminology, you can get it.
    Order a Quarter Ham, that’s what they call the Quarter Pounder, no cheese.
    I never get this unless it’s a sale, because I’m not paying for that yellow crap they buy from government surplus.
    I’m convinced that’s why McDonald’s is pushing cheese on everything. They get it cheap from Uncle Sam to use up the all the yellow crap the government buys.

    I usually order the double hamburger, which is the dollar meal double cheeseburger, no cheese, no onion, extra pickles. I always rearrange the pickles since they just pile them in a stack.
    Most of them get it right, but once I got it with just 1&½ patties & took it back, I figure the grillman didn’t expect me to check out the burger.

  95. iomatic (I know I'm an idiot, but I'll comment anyway) says:

    @Smaugster: Well, so we can continue to subsidize the health industry with Americans thirst for heart-stopping, high-cholesterol meals, the agribusiness to feed and produce unhealthy bovine off their normal diet, and the petroleum industry for shipping and producing all this madness.*

    Did I miss anything?

    *Yes, all the facts are available. There is no counter-argument. STFU.

  96. Sukie in the Graveyard says:

    @packetsniffer: They can’t get it right with anything. In my many years of ordering the 2 cheeseburger value meal with no cheese, I have received two cheeseburgers with the no cheese sticker actually on the wrapper, like that somehow shows they at least tried? Morons.

    But I have actually Argued with a cashier that the Two Hamburger value meal DOES EXIST. His argument? “We sell a two cheeseburger value meal.” My reply: “Okay, Give.Me.That. with no cheese.” (in a mean, soccer mom, you did not just throw your sister’s shoe out the window tone)

  97. Hamm Beerger says:

    Do ya think I could order the new chicken biscuit with egg and cheese? Cause then I’d miss Bojangles (I moved to Colorado from North Carolina 8 years ago) that much less.

  98. mammalpants says:

    if i see “2HEVM” one more time im going to scream!!

  99. RobinB says:

    I agree with “NameGoesHere,” I want a burger now!

  100. amyschiff says:

    @backbroken: um scraping melted cheese off a burger patty doesn’t really top my list of things I want to do before I eat my food.

  101. azzy says:

    I couple months ago I tried to get a McGriddle at McDonalds. When these first came out, I think they just had sausage-egg-cheese. So, this being a couple years later, I ordered a “Sausage McGriddle”. Got the sandwich home, and it was sausage on a pancake. no eggs or cheese. Okay… A week later I try again, ask for a McGriddle with Egg and Cheese. got what I asked for, Egg, Cheese, on a pancacke – no sausage. I try again, and they have two sausage mcgriddles for $3. I foolishly ask for the two mcgriddles deal. It rings up as $1. I pull around, pay my dollar – and what do I get? Two pancackes (McGriddle style). I finally got the right thing by ordering a “Sausage, Egg and Cheese McGriddle Sandwich”.

    Yeah, it’s my fault, but their menu was not helpful. The whole thing was a bit hillarious.

  102. SchuylerH says:

    Next time, order your burger animal style. That’ll really confuse them.

  103. Illiterati says:

    When did cheese become the default topping on all burgers anyway? It used to be that you had to ask for cheese because no-cheese wast the default. I HATE cheese on my burgers, especially the shitty cheese they use at fast-food places. (Don’t get started on the quality of fast food in general–I LOVE fast food, as long as there’s no cheese.)

    Also onions–now THERE’S a polarizing condiment, yet it’s on all the burgers. Why???

    I always have to order “no cheese, no onions,” and about half the time I get one or both anyway.

    Sometimes I don’t even want a tomato slice, but I guess you gotta meet the fast-food people halfway and take one for the team.

  104. Aphex242 says:

    Yeah great post, and wow McD’s really needs to rethink some stuff. lol.. what an utter waste of time and money this guy goes through. lol

  105. kosherFan says:

    In accordance with Jewish laws, it is not allowed to eat dairy products with meat / chicken.
    Moreover, you are not allowed to cook dairy and meat on the same grill or the same equipment. The only kosher “cheese”burger that I know about it is being sold at Talia’s Steakhouse & Bar in the Upper Westside of Manhattan. [www.taliassteakhouse.com.] Talia’s Steakhouse is using soy cheese, mozzarella or American cheese, and grill the burger and the tufu cheese on a 1950 degree (F) broiler. I tasted twice and it was great – like a real cheeseburger. And it is kosher, certified by the Orthodox Union (OU) – a major Jewish organization that supervises thousands of kosher establishments.

  106. bobums says:

    You think getting a cheeseburger with no cheese is hard, try this one…order ANY Value Meal but when they ask what type of pop(soda) you want, say water. Then if you want their head to explode ask for that water in the same size cup that the pop(soda) would have came in. It is simply amazing to watch.

    I can’t have sugar so I tend to drink water a lot and the SUPER MINI WATER CUP they give you at some McD’s are just to small. So I like to order the Value Meals to get the larger cup. When you ask for water though its like their brains turn off.

    First you get this, “But sir, you are paying for a pop, we can’t just give you water.” I don’t even have to explain what is wrong with that quote.

    Next I respond with, “I know I am paying for a pop, I just want the same cup size but with water instead.” This seems simple enough to me, but no….

    They respond with, “But we can’t do that, water has to go in a water cup.” At this point my head is about to explode trying to figure out their logic!

    This can go on and on in various forms, but in the end this is what usually happens:

    70% of time I pay for a Value Meal and receive the
    water in the normal small water cup

    25% of the time they try and get me to NOT order the
    Value Meal – that way I am not paying for the pop
    even though I explain to them that I want to pay
    for the pop but just want the water. This can
    end up in many different forms, but usually I end
    up with the normal small water again.

    5% of the time they get it right and give me a Value
    Meal and a medium cup with water.

    (Side note – why is it that you can get a large pop and have UNLIMITED refills but you ask for a water in a larger cup and they act like you are trying to rob them blind!)

  107. midniteslayr says:

    When I worked at McDonalds (my first job), I knew exactly what that meant. And my Cook Staff knew what it was too (and they didn’t understand english that well). It sounds like the people at this McDonalds were inept people who probably didn’t get into High School.

  108. backbroken says:

    @amyschiff: If you can eat a McDonald’s hamburger, I wouldn’t think scraping cheese would be a hardship.

    That’s like the coroner complaining that he had to take the shoes off the body before performing the necropsy.

    (I’m hoping this is the new “dumbest comment ever.”)

  109. JPropaganda says:

    @chris101d: I live in NYC and sometimes hamburgers by themselves can be 99 cents or more.

    Regardless, I order the two cheeseburger meal with no cheese all the time. I’ve never had this problem. Sometimes people give me strange looks, but i get it.

  110. Coles_Law says:

    Ditto. From my time on the grill, I remember the lack of a two hamburger meal occasionally being an issue. We had buttons for a double hamburger and a double filet o’ fish (ugh!), but no two hamburger meal. It’s easy enough to do-ring up a two cheeseburger meal, then punch in no cheese. Or, shout back to the grill, “No cheese on those cheeseburgers!”

    Our front end people had the opposite problem. No issues ringing up a cheeseburger w/o cheese, but would get confused when I sent a hamburger up.

    Also, McDonald’s has no reason to discourage people buying hamburgers. Everything is assembled when ordered, so there’s no risk of waste through sandwiches sitting around unordered.

  111. MrGrimes says:

    This is a true story:

    My dad was in a Dunkin Donuts a couple years ago…

    Classic!

  112. jeffjco says:

    My wife and both kids don’t want cheese on their burgers. I’ve been ordering the 1/4 Lb. Cheeseburger with no cheese, no mustard and no pickles for a long time. It used to be a 50/50 shot on whether they’d get it right but they’re now getting it right 3 out of 4 times. The kids double-hamburger happy meals are still running about 50/50.

  113. Gopher bond says:

    Reminds of my wife, cannot order anything from the menu, always has to have a substitution or without this or that. If you go someplace and order something that’s not on the menu, shouldn’t you expect a little trouble?

  114. coan_net says:

    Want to know what is fun – order fries with no salt.

    A good store will empty the fries that are sitting there, clean the tray they sit on (from all the salt just laying there under the old fries), make new fries, dump them onto the tray – and hopefully resist the urge to “salt” them like they have done hundreds of times before.

  115. radiochief says:

    I think I would just pay the extra $1.25 or so for a la carte. Why go through that indignancy every time??!

    Seriously, I know the OP’s request IS a logical and rational request. But if you order a meal with an item that you’re allergic to, and say no allergic item please, just to get a cheaper price on an item they don’t even sell anymore? That seems like to much aggrevation to go through for a fast food meal.

  116. pal003 says:

    Good job! Now if I could only get McD to add a button for Filet-o-Fish Without Tartar Sauce! If I have time, I try this route – but mostly I have to get lots of napkins to get rid of the tartar sauce.

    And that BK ‘have it your way’ is a big lie!

  117. Dick.Blake says:

    Man, I haven’t eaten at McDonald’s since last summer. I’ve got no problems with cheese on my burgers (it’s not like the stuff is real cheese anyway, rather, “cheese food”) Issues arise however when it comes to melted cheese on a fish sandwich… blech.

    To people who’ve never worked at a fast food place, especially McDonald’s, it boggles our minds that simple requests cannot get accomplished. Growing up, my brother didn’t want onion or pickle on his hamburger Happy Meal. It was an act of God if our order actually lacked the pickles and onion. 98% of the time the condiments got passed off to me, the older brother without the discriminating tastes (ie: fatass). But then my Mom worked the McD’s morning/afternoon shift when we hit kindergarten/first grade and it began to make perfect sense to her… and drove her to not eat at McDonald’s again until we were in our teens. All that color-coding and assembly-line training. Even during my days as a pharmacy tech, counting pills all day, I can vouch that throwing a monkey wrench like a “special order” into your groove can throw you for a loop and sometime habits overcome logical thought.

  118. suschultz says:

    In high school, while we were ordering our diet cokes to pair with whatever liquor we stole out of our parents bar that evening, we would add to the entertainment by ordering cheeseburgers minus the cheese, no one ever suggested hamburgers. That was over 20 years ago, thought they would have dealt with this challenge by now.

  119. Disturbedearth says:

    I am going to clearly have to track down a Runza and give it a shot.

  120. kyle4 says:

    As a post this was funny, but this guy is worrying about cheese on a $2 burger. I don’t like pickles. When I receive my order I take them off and than quickly wipe my hand on a napkin. Big deal right?

    That Jack Nicholson scene was great, I’ll have to check out that movie.

  121. theformatter says:

    Ewwwwwww! People still eat at McDonalds? Grossssss!

  122. I get all of my McD’s burgers with no cheese. Nobody seems to be in panic mode and the product is always assembled when I order.

    … And I patronize three different McD’s, owned by two different franchisee groups.

    The only bad part is the no-cheese is the same price as yes-cheese.

  123. Randomeis says:

    @Troy F.: Neal Stephenson, who happens to have a new book coming out btw.

  124. Serpephone says:

    Order two (double) cheeseburgers–no cheese, plain and dry, meat and bread only. Works every time.

  125. ehrgeiz says:

    Just order to hamburgers a fry and a drink you lazy bastard.

  126. Lambasted says:

    @PinkNightmare: @friendlynerd:
    Add me to the I hate melted cheese list. I’ve come to the conclusion that America is obsessed with cheese. Cheese is one of the culprits as to why Americans are so fat. We’ll slap a hunk of cheese on anything. My waistline is very grateful that I don’t like cheese.

    You can’t order anything without a pile on cheese on top. Most microwave meals have cheese in it. You think ordering hamburger is tough, try ordering a pizza without a lot of cheese on it. They look at me like I am crazy. I’ll say: “go light on the cheese,” “very little cheese,” “almost no cheese” and I’ll get blank stares. They are so accustomed to hearing “extra cheese” they don’t know what to do with a “go light on the cheese” request.

  127. chemmy says:

    They should be willing to grill:no cheese for you. It’s not that hard.

    I used to work there and actually got people ordering the 2 cheeseburger meal, no meat! lol And you grill:no meat

    It’s not hard.

  128. XianZomby says:

    A guy came in to my Taco Bell and, in attempt to impress upon me the irony of him being in a fast food restaurant, feigned ignorance and ordered “two cheese burgers, please. Chuckle.”

    You, sir, eat regularly at La Restaurante in the Frou Frou District, do you not? You jest so!

    So I was fortunate to be able to take him at his word. We had “cheeseburger burritos” on the menu — for a limited time. In my “mistake,” I called him out. He had to fess up and correct the order for me.

    Ha ha.

  129. rockasocky says:

    @Channing: yeah it’s almost like trying to order a pizza with no cheese on it.

  130. youwantedahero says:

    this post is stupid. i almost always get a double cheeseburger meal (which isn’t on the menu anymore, OH MY GOD!) without the cheese. and no one EVER EVER has a problem with it. i know it sounds ridiculous to order a 2 cheeseburger meal with no cheese, but they should be able to freaking handle it. why in god’s name is this a consumerist post?

  131. geoffhazel says:

    Just order the hamburger kid meal with an extra hamburger. You get fries, drink, your burgers, and even a toy!

  132. The Bigger Unit says:

    Just eat the two fuckin cheeseburgers you loser.

  133. glycolized says:

    Maybe we have smarter McDonald’s employees in my area, but I’ve seen a co-worker I sometimes work with order non-cheese value combos at least 50 times without as much as a hiccup.

    Whatever the QPwC combo is, number 2 no cheese or whatever. I have seen the guys back on the line kinda do a double-take, and stop for a second assembling the sandwiches, but I doubt the ‘no cheese’ button on the keypad is the least used key on the thing.

  134. witeowl says:

    @rmz; @Derp: Don’t have time (or patience) to read everything, so I’m sorry if I’m repeating others, but the two cheeseburger value meal isn’t technically available here, but I never have a problem ordering it. The most hassle I ever get is (and I quote), “We don’t have the… oh, wait, nevermind. What do you want to drink with that?”

  135. Zwitterion says:

    @Shinzou:

    McDonald’s couldn’t get Kosher if it tried… Koshering foods takes alot more than most people think about, even to the slaughtering processes of animals.

  136. Craysh says:

    @Packetsniffer
    To be fair, they’re trained like that. It helps get the people out the door faster, even if a couple of them come back to get their sandwich fixed.

  137. Why all the McDonald’s worker bashing? It’s a place where young people and some unskilled older people can get jobs and help support their families. Why do you have to call them idiots and morons? How about understanding that people make mistakes sometimes?

    Just go in and order a two cheeseburger EVM and ask them to hold the cheese. They can do it. It’s just a grill -hold cheese.

    Yes, I can understand it’s frustrating when a mistake is made. I’ve been there. I don’t like tomatoes and always ask for no tomatoes, and about 80% of the time, I get what I ask for. The other 20% I will send it back and ask them to remake it, because the tomato liquid has seeped into my burger and bun. They do it. I’m not a jerk about it, they just made a mistake. I’m glad none of you name callers ever do that…

    I’m rarely in so much of a hurry that I don’t have time to wait for it to be remade. If I am in a hurry, then I’ll just yank the tomato myself and suffer. I understand that cheese is hard to yank. This is McDonald’s we’re talking about here. It’s not like it takes 10 minutes to remake a burger. They shoot for 3 minutes out the door. Just ask them to remake it and stop being so darn mean.

  138. dazette says:

    I don’t even like McD’s very much, but I’m actually sorta hungry after reading all these comments.

  139. iammoses says:

    @PinkNightmare:

    Please don’t say your allergic if your not. Life threatening allergies do exist and should not be taken lightly. You are diluting the meaning and seriousness of that claim.

  140. the_wiggle says:

    @gyroball: NOT crybabies. the crybabies are those asshats who can’t comprehend a simple request in plain English & whine about missing buttons.

    c’mon fast food staffer – it ain’t all that hard to listen to the customer & provide actual service. i know as i worked in FF, at McDonald’s no less for 4 yrs while attending college back in the early 90′s.

  141. XianZomby says:

    In Korea they offer a Big Mac with four patties. In the States I order a Big Mac and a Double Cheeseburger. Then I create a double Big Mac. Is there a button for that customization?

  142. Tap, tap. Is this microphone on?

    I’d like to complain that Mickey D’s folks seem to chronically under fill the french fry containers these days. Once upon a time, they crammed them so full that you’d practically have another half a container of fries in the bottom of your bag. These days they barely fill the container with fries.

    Hmrph.

  143. catastrophegirl chooses not to fly says:

    mcdonalds operates several kosher stores in israel, the one near the airport there is vegetarian and they have at least one kosher store in buenos aires.
    you can tell them apart because their logos are blue and white

    when i worked at taco bell in high school, late nights [until 4am] on weekends we got some weird requests. usually it was just me and my team lead, who was my age and a good friend.
    one night a woman came through the drive through and ordered a beef burrito ‘with nothing even remotely related to a vegetable’ on it. so i replied ‘no lettuce, tomato or beans, just beef, sour cream and cheese…. i think the sauce might have some tomato paste in it? how about the tortilla? that’s made from wheat flour?’
    when she got to the window she said that’s the first time anyone had ever gotten her order right without her having to explain it about 50 times. and yes, she wanted the tortilla and sauce. fortunately at the time taco bell had a minus button for every single ingredient. but i don’t know about these days, this was before the picture keys. we were expected to READ little words

  144. oldjimbob says:

    Jus order a Hamburger Happy Meal AND an extra hamburger.

  145. Asmordean says:

    Play the health card, it has worked every time for me.

    Me: No cheese
    Them: It comes with cheese
    Me: I can’t eat cheese I’m lactose intolerant.
    Them: What?
    Me: It gives me the runs okay, do you want more detail?
    Them: Oh please don’t.

    Seriously. Even the dumbest people usually don’t want to make people sick. They’ve even waited for me to check because they were worried.

    Don’t want fountain pop/soda? You’re diabetic

    There’s an allergy/medical issue for everything. Bonus is you don’t come out sound like a weirdo ordering a cheese burger without cheese.

  146. raisitup says:

    the burger king in east lansing, mi (home of msu) used to have 99 cent whopper wednesdays. went there one wednesday and felt like a double whopper. $1.98, right? wrong, $3+. after the cashier wouldn’t ring me up for a $1.98 double whopper i called for the manager. went round and round twice with the logic of my position to no avail. finally said, “okay, i’ll take two whoppers, please scrape the s*** off one of them and throw the meat on the other.”

    one double whopper was finally delivered about 30 seconds later.

  147. As a McDonald’s alum (2003), I can vouch that we never had a problem with that order. I rang it up many times (yes, it would be the 2CB EVM button, Grill, W/O, CHZ), and no, our grill folks never got it wrong.

    Those who say a 2HBEVM isn’t on the menu board or the register because it’s not popular enough are correct. We Americans love our cheese.

    My experience was in Mass, where they also have Lobster Rolls (and a corresponding EVM) on the menu too. I suppose YMMV around the country.

  148. witeowl says:

    @iammoses: Sorry, I’m not sure that I agree, despite my “honesty is the best policy”, um, policy. I surely agree with people who say tht you shouldn’t push the button for the automated handicap door if you don’t need it because it may cause it to break sooner.

    But this is different. They’re not going to say, “That’s it! That’s the twentieth customer with an allergy today. No more special orders; I don’t care if they have a doctor’s note!”

    If anything, we’re giving them much needed practice. (~_~)

  149. iammoses says:

    @witeowl:
    The problem with it is after that twentieth customer the guys behind the counter and in the kitchen might not care about food allergies anymore and if someone really did have an allergy they might not be as careful with the order. I just don’t think we should cry wolf so much, if the restaurant can’t make food you want then go somewhere else.

  150. Crovie says:

    @B: Wait, your mcdonald’s makes things before they’re ordered?

    Everything here is only made after it’s ordered. Hamburgers and cheeseburgers are among the simplest sandwiches and can be made in about 25 seconds (half of which is waiting for the buns to toast)

  151. alexiso says:

    Try ordering a bacon, egg and cheese biscuit with no bacon. Even though the receipt says ‘no bacon’ I still get bacon. Why can’t McDonalds have something with just Egg and Cheese on a Biscuit? Why must everything have meat?

  152. Difdi says:

    One of my all time favorite menu items at Taco Time got canceled, oh, it must be nearly 20 years ago now. It’s so popular in the area I live in, that nearly any Taco Time employee can dial it in manually on the register, and despite the fact that no menu has it, they know what you mean when you order it. But Taco Time can do that because they have a button for every ingredient in the restaurant, and if you order a soft combo burrito, they just dial it in by ingredient, rather than menu listing. How hard could it be for McDonalds to do the same?

  153. radiochief says:

    I would like to say that McDonald’s Never has messed up a special request…

    I remember growing up in the 70′s and having to order for my Mom. She hated onions on her burgers, so every time they’d have to break out that special white slip for special orders…

    Now my kiddo who’s almost three likes like cheeseburgers with just ketchup. They have no problem with his Happy Meal order, except that I usually get two cheeseburgers. One in the Happy Meal with everything and one special order just with ketchup. The former becomes a snack for Daddy and the latter is the meal.

  154. defiant1 says:

    Damn, this cat must be seriously hard up for cash if he is going to this much trouble over 20 fricking cents.

  155. Jabberkaty says:

    I’m going into McDonald’s withdrawal… I’ve been so good. I’ve been so good. It’s all slipping through my fingers. *shakes* I need my fix!

  156. LogicalOne says:

    @guroth: Pepsi? At McDonald’s?

  157. Brunette Bookworm says:

    @Rastaman4200: EXACTLY! I worked at McDonald’s in college. Most of that time was on the grill. I frequently got slips that just had the two cheesburger meal w/o on it and the register person would just say they were hamburgers. It’s not that hard and not everyone working at McD’s is an idiot.

  158. motojen says:

    I’m surprised to see how many posters actually get exactly what they order from McDs. In the ten years I’ve lived here they have never gotten my breakfast order right. NEVER. At first it pissed me off but then it became a game. My husband and I have mystery meals at least twice a month. We drive through and don’t look in the bags to see what we got until we get home. We will eat anything off the breakfast menu no prob so it doesn’t matter what they decide to put in the bag. I don’t know why they can’t get it right and I quit caring a long time ago. It’s not real food anyway.

  159. Vandon says:

    @backbroken: Heaven forbid someone should have to take the cheese off themselves.

    Have you ever tried that? The cheese is all melted into the patty. It’s easier to remove a tattoo.

  160. FrankReality says:

    I have the same problem when I try to order a quarter pounder extra value meal. They don’t have a number for that in the drive thru, so I always have to order a quarter pounder cheeseburger extra value meal without cheese.

    Only about half the time they get it right.