Milfs Mortified By Urban Outfitters' Bawdry Books

Marci Milfs was appalled to see risque books being sold at her local Urban Outfitters store in Lynwood, Washington. According to The Herald, she was out clothes-shopping with her son when she came across the racy books. The titles included, “Pornogami: A Guide to the Ancient Art of Paper-Folding for Adults,” a how-to for making anatomically correct paper artwork and “Porn for Women,” a photo book showing men doing housework. Details, inside…


“When I saw it, I was shocked,” said Milfs. She was so offended by the books that she prepared a complaint to her state representative and to other organizations such as Morality in Media, Concerned Women of America and the American Family Association.

Milfs contacted Urban Outfitter’s corporate office. “They said they are not sex books or pornography books, but that they are art books and their goals are to support the artists,” Milfs said. Urban Outfitters has not made any official comment.

To protect children from sexually explicit content, many states have laws that limit children’s access to any material that lacks “serious, artistic, political, scientific or literary value,” said Robert Peters, president of Morality in Media, a group established to fight pornography. “The vagueness of the state law creates a legal gray area,” according to Peters. “Arguably, an item that is inappropriate for children might be allowable if it’s found suitable for adults.”

According to Milfs, “It’s not freedom of speech. It’s selling adult books to teenagers.” Whether or not a book such as this qualifies as “adult” is subjective to each adult individual, and just because a book has the word “porn” in its title, doesn’t mean it’s pornography. While we certainly agree that Milfs has the right to raise her child in a porn-free environment, we’re just not convinced that paper genitalia qualifies as porn, however, your mileage may vary.

Mom appalled at racy books in store for teens at Alderwood mall [The Herald]

Comments

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  1. B says:

    Men doing housework and folded pieces of paper are pornography now? I’d hate to see what she thinks of my Georgia O’Keefe coffee table book.

  2. APFPilot says:

    Milfs =/= MILF

  3. thetango says:

    I have this book … and that makes this story even funnier for me :)

  4. Would she be offended by a book of photos of perfectly wired server rooms called “IT Porn”.
    we use the word porn all of the time now to signify something that would make lovers of that thing very happy to see.

    Nice photos of food labeled as gastronomical porn etc. etc.
    obviously the book was a joke, and had no actual porn. The lady needs to get the bug out of her ass.
    Milfs.

  5. aphexbr says:

    “Marci Milfs”?

    Anyway, I’m not familiar with the store so maybe it is/isn’t inappropriate for the age group (although the comment “in a clothing store for teens and young adults” make me think not). But 2 things – first, well done for advertising these books on behalf of Urban Outfitters. If I had one near me, I’d buy one of the origami books – sounds amusing.

    Secondly, if she’s shocked by a suggestive origami book, let’s just hope for her sake that she doesn’t get a look at the real pornography those “young adults” are looking at…

  6. chemmy says:

    apparently she’s never been in a Spencer’s either.

  7. Coyote says:

    Yes, yes her name is ironic and I suspect that’s the only reason this is getting any attention at all. These books are listed as humor and thats that. Wonder how she feels about bugs bunny in drag kissing Elmer Fudd. Or any of the off color jokes that are made every day in kids shows… Some people have to much free time or think they can get a lawsuit for anything.

  8. smirky says:

    I hope she never flies on Spirit Airlines. Would she ask for the threesome special? She could make some awesome oragami with the bills she saves.

  9. Tightlines says:

    Won’t someone please think of the children??!!?11?!

    My Gawd, this country is so hung up on sex.

  10. I’m gonna have to agree with this woman. I, for one, have a fondness for MILFs [or really any woman willing to talk to me] and a hatred for books.

  11. Antediluvian says:

    Seems like Marci’s living the life of Marcy D’Arcy — whining and complaining about Jefferson’s and Al’s “NO MA’AM” club.

    [www.bundyology.com]

  12. htrodblder says:

    Ok I’ll say it, what an idiot

  13. MonkeyMonk says:

    I think I downloaded one of Marci’s movies once.

  14. OSURoss says:

    Finally, a reason to root for cancer. Thank you, Marci Milfs.

  15. MissPeacock says:

    Here’s a shocking little idea for Marci: DON’T SHOP THERE ANY MORE.

  16. Antediluvian says:

    @suburbancowboy: I’d pay good money to see the IT porn!

  17. unklegwar says:

    Oh for crap’s sake.

    EVERYONE will invariably be offended by SOMETHING.

    Every time someone gets their panties in a bunch over something, we need to go on a rampage to Government?

    I say there’s no need to worry about it unless her kid BRINGS IT HOME. And then the answer is simple, be a parent, and if you don’t want your kid to have it, TAKE IT AWAY.

    Simple, done, now move on to something that’s actually important.

  18. racerchk says:

    its crazy women like this who piss me off the most. holy lady calm down. if you don’t like it then shop somewhere else.

  19. Gaambit says:

    …and since when is Urban Outfitters a “teen” store. I always pegged it at the “just out of college” crowd…or at least anyone over 20.

  20. FredUp says:

    This woman is Christian kindergarten teacher — see:

    [www.heraldnet.com]

    if she’s got a problem with what they’re selling she SHOULDN’T SHOP THERE.

    Christ, WTF. Lady move to Cincinnati or some other place that shares your morals. How about Saudi Arabia or Iran?

  21. friendlynerd says:

    I’m deeply offended by cucumbers. They so obviously look like phalluses! Some tawdry whores even use them for that purpose!

    I’ve contacted customer service at A&P but they don’t seem to be taking me seriously. Help me Consumerist!

  22. rawsteak says:

    so… the beer paraphernalia and the family guy shot glasses are cool, but the “porn” books are offensive?

    how do you think all that debauchery is started????

  23. amandarp says:

    Urban Outfitters is definitely not a ‘teen’ store… more for twentysomething hipsters if you ask me.

    this lady needs to calm the F down.

  24. Saboth says:

    Strangely enough, my gf always says she gets turned on by me doing housework…

  25. CharlieInSeattle says:

    Yes, Washington state does have dumb people, there are more of them in Lynnwood. Think big hair.

  26. dcaslin says:

    Is her last name really Milfs?! I checked the date just to make sure this wasn’t April 1st again…

  27. Channing says:

    I guess she hasn’t looked in an encyclopdia, either. Hell, if it was a store for kids aged 4-10, I’d have a problem. I’d hate to have my kids asking me all kinds of awkward questions. However, once you’re a teenager, if you don’t know about sex or reproductive organs, there’s a really big problem there.

    Btw, I own the Pornography for Women book. I got it for Christmas from a friend.

  28. apotheosis says:

    I fondly remember being a horny teenager, but I’d have been pretty desperate indeed to get aroused over a cleverly-folded piece of paper.

    Honestly, this woman probably won’t let her kids go in the meat aisle at the grocers for fear of them seeing the words “breasts and thighs.”

  29. Caroofikus says:

    Marci Milfs…I think I’ve seen those videos.

  30. in2insight says:

    This “story” so does not belong here.

    MM, dear heart, get a life. Or just stop going into stores.
    YOU offend me.

  31. WayneK2 says:

    I know I’m going against the trend here, but … it’s GENITALIA! Not really what we usually put right out there in front of a mixed-age audience. As for the “art” and “free speech” arguments … it’s URBAN OUTFITTERS, not exactly the usual venue for issues of culture, literacy, art or anything else.

    Why not write this marketing decision up as “miserable choice” and the customer’s reaction as “only a teensy bit over the top.”

  32. macinjosh says:

    @chemmy: Yeah, back when I was a yoot, I used to go into Spencer’s all the time. I probably wouldn’t be allowed in there if it was like their current incarnation.

  33. copious28 says:

    Yeah, I think she also missed the fact that Borders and B&N BOTH sell books on sex, that are NOT art. Complete with photos and step by step instructions. Grow up.

  34. Ipomoea says:

    Oh my god, woman. You live in LYNNWOOD, which is like living in a punchline. Does she realize that the library has books with pictures of actual genitalia that ANY CHILD CAN CHECK OUT (gasphorror)? And how offensive is a book with pictures of men vacuuming, really? Maybe offensive only in the infrequency of the situations presented within.

  35. friendlynerd says:

    @WayneK2:
    Oh my god! Genitals are disgusting! Make sure to teach your kids that so they grow up normal.

  36. stacye says:

    I think we should buy up all these books and burn them immediately. Paper genitalia, OH THE HORROR!

  37. morganlh85 says:

    They have sex books at Barnes & Noble too. Better call up those associations again! Time for a boycott!

  38. morganlh85 says:

    She’s one of those parents who won’t let her kid go to the art museum because of the nude statues, huh?

  39. Trai_Dep says:

    Clearly the shining example of why parents should not be allowed in Urban Outfitters. Unless chaperoned by a minor.

  40. Lin-Z [linguist on duty] says:

    I had no idea that bits of paper were considered porn now! I’ll have to consider that next time I want to get off.

    Alternately: Why not complain to the grocery store that the vegetables are much too phallic, instead?

  41. bobblack555 says:

    Oh for fucks sake its just paper.

    Jeez.

  42. Toof_75_75 says:

    I love the title of this article…

  43. Lin-Z [linguist on duty] says:

    did anyone else notice that Urban Outfitters is listed in today’s morning deals? hahaha

  44. Trai_Dep says:

    “Concerned Women of America”.
    Say no more. Say no more.

    Were I the kid, I’d be ashamed to be seen with MILF – in her mind, at least – in public. Because having my peers see the tin-foil hat on my mom’s head would be mortifying.

  45. orielbean says:

    That poor kid is screwed. Good luck young one! May beer and weed ease your passage out of snowflake-dom and into adulthood

  46. Flame says:

    Ya know, the titles to books can often be misleading. Anyone ever read this one:

    [www.amazon.com]

    It’s called the Nymphos of Rocky Flats, in case you can’t read it in the URL.

    Amazingly enough, the worst thing is there is some light kissing. So, perhaps, we should all go by that old adage, “Never judge a book by it’s cover?”

  47. mike says:

    @racerchk: But isn’t this the solution to just about anything that comes into Consumerist? Your comment is a non-statement.

    I think I can understand where this woman is coming from. It’s not the same as going into strip club and being offended that people are naked. It’s going to a regular store and finding material that they didn’t expect.

    It’d be like going to the candy store and finding a shelf of Playboy’s.

  48. Fly Girl says:

    @copious28: True dat!

    When I was a horny teenager, I spent many an afternoon at Barnes and Noble in their “Human Sexuality” section.

    Lemmeetellyou, those books aren’t ’bout “art” or “education.” They’re hardcover porn, plain and simple.

    For seriously, call us when Urban starts selling DVD’s of Two Girls, One Cup.

  49. weakdome says:

    If sex isn’t art, you’re not doing it right.

  50. Roxie says:

    Gee…is this the OP’s first time visiting Urban Outfitters? Sure sounds like it–of course they’ve got a bit of this kind of stuff there. But this kind of stuff is limited to a handful of items. They have lots of OTHER great stuff there that has nothing to do with “pornogami” or other such books. Matter of fact, this past Saturday I went to Urban Outfitters and got myself this cute Star Wars toy for my desk at work–a Darth Vader Star Wars Chubbies:

    [www.entertainmentearth.com]

    It’s really neat–it’s like a Russian nesting doll. I chose the Darth Vader set and will pretend it’s his little brother, Chad Vader, instead. :D

    I’m curious now, though. Did the OP go straight for the Pornogami and miss the TONS of clothes and accessories, the home decor items, the toys, the knick-knacks, the other neat stuff in general? Maybe the OP should give herself credit for being a sicko, too, as long as she’s gotten this fixated on the pornogami and has gotten her granny panties all up in a knot over all this stuff.

  51. Dervish says:

    Really?! She got offended by a picture of a paper vag? How do these people make it through daily life without having an aneurysm? Heaven forbid we should learn to laugh about sex a little instead of being ashamed of it.

    If this were truly a store aimed at kids then I could kind of see where she’s coming from. But Urban Outfitters – in style and in price – is not a kids store.

  52. Phil Keeps It Real [Consumerist] says:

    I remember when Urban Outfitters was a thrift store, selling cheap, sometimes used clothes and other crap. They’ve blown up and over charge for most their crap.

    As for MiLF’s, she’s a retard, I thought it was art, the Vag and Pen made with a dollar bill, that makes a very BIG statement in our society.

    Sometimes people are just really uptight and ignorant. FIGHT THE IGNORANCE, open your EYES to the things that really matter and that currently going on around us. NOT SOME STUPID BOOK ON A SHELF IN STORE THAT HAS A TARGET AUDIENCE WHICH MILF’S will never belong too.. zzzzZZZz

  53. Megatenist says:

    It’s stories like this that make me despair for our human race…

  54. If Marci Milfs is pissed about porn in the bookstore, she really oughtta try GISing herself [NSFW] without SafeSearch on. [For a control I tried it with my own name, which turned up only ugly people who fortunately all had their clothes on.]

  55. Jabberkaty says:

    “Stupid books.”
    -Bart Simpson

  56. eblack says:

    There’s no way her name is real…it’s like the most perfect porn star name ever.

    …I wonder if she’s hot.

  57. RandomHookup says:

    Marci’s next campaign will be “Pantsing Fido” because it’s just so dirty that animals wander around with their “thingies” exposed.

  58. yetiwisdom says:

    I ♥ Urban Outfitters and their bawdry books.

  59. mammalpants says:

    she should be more mortified that they sell lefty goods and then contribute to the republican party!

  60. MeinsHerob says:

    Of all the outrageous things going on in the world, someone is bothered by suggestively folded paper? Seriously?

  61. samurailynn says:

    I saw the Porn for Women book advertised somewhere recently… I think it looks cute. And if I had a teenage daughter, I would in no way be offended for her to see it.

    Perhaps the Pornigami is a little less discreet… but it’s still just paper. Hopefully my kids would see actual diagrams of genitalia by the time their teenagers. I think they started showing us diagrams in kindergarten so that they could tell us that it where it would be inappropriate for adults to be touching us or asking us to touch them.

    When I saw the headline I totally thought they were talking about a group of attractive middle aged moms complaining about this.

  62. kathyl says:

    I have a child myself, but I don’t go into full two year old tantrum mode when I am confronted with the cold, hard truth that it is MY job to raise her, not the store’s. Nor is it the television’s job, the newspaper’s, the radio’s, or any other media. If she doesn’t like the books, she should be involved enough in her son’s life to know whether or not he’s tried to look at one or purchase one on the sly.

    And hey, lady? If your son was curious about those books, it’s probably time to give him The Talk.

  63. mariospants says:

    I think she’s missing a valuable opportunity here: what better way to teach her teenage kids sex education than with a paper penis and a paper vagina? “here comes the origamiasm, kids!”

  64. SinA says:

    i hope she succeeds in finally ridding shopping malls of depictions of the human body with all of its disgusting curves, bumps, protrusions and orifices that do nothing but produce more and more shameful human bodies!

  65. lesspopmorefizz says:

    This woman needs a life. Of all of the perfectly legitimate complaints one could make about the sexualization of young girls by the media, clothing companies, etc….she chooses something this ridiculous. Way to make sure no one ever takes you seriously again, Milfs!

  66. stephenjames716 says:

    wow, has it really come to this?…being offended by paper being shaped a certain way.

  67. I wonder if this woman realizes that the entire internet is expecting her to live up to the ILF part of MILF? She might wanna stop now or hit the gym before the media comes a-knockin.

  68. mizmoose says:

    OH MY GOD, NO CHILD OF MINE SHOULD BE EXPOSED TO WHAT GENITALIA LOOK LIKE! IT’S DIRTY DIRTY DIRTY! BABIES COME FROM GOD, THAT IS ALL MY LITTLE ONES NEED TO KNOW.

    Really, can we just go back in time and kill the stupid people? Then the couple thousand of us left over can live in peace.

  69. sean77 says:

    I think she wants Suburban Outfitters.. that’s the store endorsed by soccer moms.

  70. MaliBoo Radley says:

    God .. it would be awesome to have this chick as a mom. She’s be sooooo easy to shock. Her teenagers are going to have a great time with her. I think every night at dinner I’d find different ways to slip penis or vagina into the conversation. Something silly like that.

  71. Craig says:

    I suspect Ms. Milfs will soon be responsible for selling more of these books than all Urban Outfitters stores combined.

    Incidentally, while I respect her right to want to limit her kids’ exposure to inappropriate materials (ignoring the question of whether or not these books qualify), she’d be better off teaching them to simply avert their eyes or walk away when they encounter such materials than to try and make sure they never experience them in the first place. The latter approach simply isn’t realistic in today’s society.

    “Milfs Mortified by…Bawdry Books.” Great alliteration!

  72. madog says:

    I would bet my house that this same shocked-by-paper-sex lady has bought for her son at least one of the GTA games yet this is what’s wrong with society according to her…

  73. MTVAH says:

    This is mostly unrelated: Would anyone want to purchase a autographed book handled by a man who makes a living crafting origami penises out of dollar bills?

  74. mikelotus says:

    how come european kids that get exposed to porn all the time are not messed up? do americans have something in their dna that causes us to get messed up upon exposure when under 18?

  75. smirky says:

    I wonder what Mr. Milf thinks about this.

  76. TruPhan says:

    I once saw paper genitalia as a child and immediately committed violent acts. Oh wait, no.

  77. dantsea says:

    If her first instinct was to shriek to hate groups like CWA and AFA, I can’t take her seriously.

  78. marzak says:

    oh please never let her find furnitureporn.com

  79. Confuzius says:

    Commenters of Consumerist, I am deeply disappointed by you; this far into the comments and not one mention of “embarrassing paper cuts”
    for shame, for shame!

    But seriously, if parents these days did more parenting and less blaming everyone else for their f’d up kids the world would be a much happier place.

  80. toddiot says:

    Seriously? Those are the most offensive books she found in Urban Outfitters?
    [www.urbanoutfitters.com]

    I’m not going to lie though, Urban Outfitters is sort of one of my favourite stores.

  81. toddiot says:

    @APFPilot: However the title of this article initially made me think otherwise.

  82. toddiot says:

    @APFPilot: The title of this article made me think otherwise, however.

  83. nrwfos says:

    @Saboth: Try using the vaccuum while nude – she’ll really like that. I know whereof I speak!

  84. nrwfos says:

    @WayneK2: Not so miserable – look at the buzz it’s already generated here which is – everywhere!

  85. nrwfos says:

    @Roxie: Hey, there some of us who wear the “grannie panties’ were hippies and aren’t all that shocked or surprised. One would think that we’ve gotten past the stupid 50′s mindset – but apparently not. I can actually think of uses for this type of handiwork (???!!. It would be good as an exercise in sex-ed class. It would be great to send to our significant others who are elsewhere (unfortunately, Iraq comes to mind). And maybe it would come in handy as propaganda by people making these and dropping them across certain areas of the world…it would mess them up!

    Back when I was the “youth” we had to search out the National Geographic’s
    in order to see the real thing(s). I mean this is ridiculous. We have REAL problems – this is stupid. And I raised 3 kids (2 boys). Really if she were thinking she would probably do well to make sure her kid never saw him/herself naked in a mirror! Why the kid might get an idea or two. Couldn’t have that!

  86. You-Me-Us says:

    A four-year-old novelty book… suddenly up to #93 at Amazon.com.

    I’m sure the author would like to thank Ms. Milfs for giving the book the kind of publicity that just can’t be bought. Good job, Marci!

  87. If a typical mother invited neighborhood kids over, she wouldn’t be leaving these books on her coffee table for the kids to peruse.

    Well, shit, a typical mother wouldn’t be leaving Mechanical Vibrations for her kids to peruse either. We better ban engineering textbooks before countless kids become engineers.

  88. Triterion says:

    Mom’s aren’t supposed to go into Urban Outfitters, duh.

  89. goodywitch says:

    @Triterion: Sad thing is…I was just thinking that…I’m sure you were sarcastic, but it’s Urban Outfitters

  90. Slytherin says:

    @friendlynerd:

    ROFL!!!!

  91. Slytherin says:

    Milfs? For real? Oh, this is too easy!!!! And ironic…

  92. Trai_Dep says:

    @You-Me-Us: “A four-year-old novelty book… suddenly up to #93 at Amazon.com.”
    Gods. That totally made my day. Thank you.

  93. Jay Slatkin says:

    @Slytherin: Indeed. And nobody caught that the last name of the man from the anti-pornography groups’ name is Peters? Tsk tsk.

  94. joellevand says:

    OMG, genitals! That book has warped my fragile little mind.

    Does she have a home address I can mail things to, because I’m re-reading The Female Eunuch right now, and I can’t think of a better person to send my copy to when I’m finished. :)

  95. j-yo says:

    Mrs. Milfs really should lock her children in their rooms and not let them out until they’re 30 for their own good. Meanwhile, bad moms like me will continue to take our children into stores carrying “offensive” materials like this and use them as a springboard for conversation.

  96. Trai_Dep says:

    Oh dear. Better not have Ms. Milfs go to the produce section (thanks to BoingBoing for the original site)
    [bp0.blogger.com]

  97. Consumerist Moderator - ACAMBRAS says:

    Her surname is Milfs?

    Seriously?

  98. MajorXP says:

    I wonder if she has ever googled her name?

  99. kostia says:

    My best friend bought her copy of Pornogami, a hilarious book with seriously good origami instructions, at Borders, a more child-friendly establishment than Urban Outfitters.

    Without the guidance of an adult LOOKING for something to be offended by, a child would not find Pornogami in the store, would not pick it up, and would find the contents only giggle-worthy.

    People need to chill OUT.

  100. thelushie says:

    If Urban Outfitters sold Two Girls, One Cup, then there would be reason to protest.

    I wonder if she is related to Crazy Straws Lady? At least this incident didn’t happen in the area of the country I live in…crazy straw lady did.

  101. mexifelio says:

    Well at least the book wasn’t a pop out

  102. snoop-blog says:

    @mexifelio: That version ended up putting too many eyes out

  103. I remember in 2nd and 3rd grade all the kids (myself included) spent our free period flipping through the encyclopedia set looking for silly bits to point and giggle at. In fact, I remember distinctly snickering over Michelangelo’s David. And you can find these things in libraries all over the country! Oh no, whatever shall we do?