PHOTO: Dell Breaks Your Laptop, Sends Replacement Full Of Pubes
Reader K's call to Dell tech support for his laptop resulted in the tech helping him break a different computer, then sending him a replacement laptop full of human pubic hair. After diagnosing a faulty power adapter with K's laptop, the Dell technician asked him to plug the malfunctioning adapter into his other, out-of-warranty Dell to confirm the problem. K was reluctant, but complied, and fried his old laptop in the process. To their credit, Dell offered a replacement; unfortunately, it had a full bush. Full email, with picture, below (photo is NSFL: Not Safe For Lunch).
So I rarely resort to complaints as I think I am an easygoing consumer, but this time Dell went over the line. Maybe I just needed to write this email to vent, but I think it may be worth a post on your site...Well, although Dell may not be listening to Executive Email Carpet Bombs anymore, it doesn't hurt to try. Here is a bunch of Dell email addresses, here are some more, and here is one more. Include pictures of the fuzz factory in your email, hopefully it will gross someone out enough to get you a replacement.Recently my 1 year old Dell laptop stopped charging the battery, so I called technical support (still under 3 year warranty) to try to resolve the issue. The technician recommended trying to plug another Dell power adapter into the laptop to see if this was the problem, and surprisingly it worked - problem solved...send me a new power adapter and I'll be on my way.
Unfortunately here things took bad turn. The technician thought that it would be a good idea to try the faulty power adapter in my other Dell laptop just to confirm that this was the problem. I told him that this laptop was no longer under warranty and that I didn't really want to mess with anything else since we had already resolved the issue. He said that we had to confirm this before he could authorize a new adapter being sent to me. So I plug it in and ZAP! Burning smell, and my old laptop was fried - nothing could revive it. At this point I was worried the technician would hang up, but to their credit they stayed on the line and after about an hour finally agreed to replace my old laptop. At this point, I was rather satisfied despite all of the problems - I was getting a new replacement for my old laptop.
About a week later, I get my "new" Dell laptop. I open the case, and the instruction manual is bent out of shape, and I start to worry. I reach the bottom of the box, pull out the laptop, and first thing I see is the top is covered in scratches. Some people may say that I should be happy since I was getting a newer model laptop to replace an old laptop with no warranty. My old laptop, however, was in great condition. When I opened up the new laptop, I saw the screen was scratched and dirty, and the keyboard was covered in debris. Wait, not debris....what is that? HAIRS!? Not just any hairs - these could only be described as pubes. I hate to be so crude, but pubes are pubes. Not the incidental curly hair, but rather mini-tufts between the keys. My only guess is that Ron Jeremy was the previous owner. At this point, I called Dell back, and I have written this email in between talking to 3 different people and over an hour of hold time. Nobody wants to help, and I'm reached the limits of my tolerance for poor service.
At this point, I'm considering 3 options:
1. Vacuum it, douse it in alcohol, and just try to use it and forget about "the hedgehog"
2. Sell it and buy a new laptop
3. Go to the gym, run 3 miles, trim body hair directly over the keyboard, send laptop back to dell (this is the cleaned up version)
Any other ideas?

("Free Human Hair" Photo: Kevin Dean)
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Comments:
really odd.
tip one though for anyone dealing with techs: DON'T do anything you feel uncomfortable doing.
no matter how much they try to coerce you.
that dell tech needs to have his system board blown for even suggesting that he plug a suspect power adapter it into another laptop. Probably didn't have the same voltage requirements that the new one did.
as much as I'm against regulation of my industry, there are times like these that I wish there were some kind of way weeding out idiots like this tech.
As for the replacement unit. ugh.
but thats the only thing i hate about dell. their replacement policy on laptops. It usually ends bad.
NOT blaming the victim, but i've been told to do crap from phone techs before and i just pretend to. how would they know the diff? "Oh, you're right, it totally doesn't power up my old laptop, I'm glad we tested to make sure" would have been sufficient.
That replacement is just gross,though, and I feel for the guy.
@typo: Yeah, I don't know what my problem is with Moveable Type lately. I swear that in real life, I can spell words and form complete sentences.
@anyone saying this isn't pubic hair: I'd be happy to send you the higher res pictures that K included, but I didn't want this post to join the pantheon of Goatse.cx, Tub Girl, et al.
This was so done on purpose, and I'd bet the farm it's real pubic hair. I'd also threaten some DNA tests and then tell Dell that the attorney you're talking to has said it wouldn't be hard to get a court order that required all of their employees to provide a "public" hair sample for testing. If they lose, they also have to pay for the DNA testing.
Seriously? I've heard of computer viruses, but that thing could have crabs.
Hey, I work for Dell tech support here in the states (and am an avid consumerist reader). I'll give you a hand w/ this if you want - no promises but I'll see what I can do for you - I handle the XPS systems (can help with those types - can't tell what your system is. Also I know people in Lat/Opti dept)... How do I get in touch with you? BTW - I've never heard of a PC coming with pubes from our replacement dept. - we normally charge extra for that =)
Dell may not monitor the consumerist, but they do have guys that watch www.notebookforums.com now and then. It might be helpful to post your story there. The "DellCA" has helped alot of folks there in the past. Sounds like they had a laptop another customer returned and said "Good 'nuff". Generally speaking, refurbished machines are free from cosmetic damage as well as human hair.
Stories like these make me wish I worked directly for Dell and not just for a third party service contractor.
Also, if you have a Dell technician asking you to do something that may potentially damage a system that isn't under their warranty. I suggest you either lie about that step, or hang up immediately then call back and get someone else.
@MrEvil: I know plenty of Dell tech's that read consumerist for fun on a regular basis, in between speaking with customers. I'm one of them.
Um... what the hell? This has got to be some kind of interception prank. As much as I hate Dell (voted for them just now, go fighting Public Hairs! (yes, I know it's spelled pubic)) due to my lifelong attraction to Apples, I don't think that they'd be stupid enough to do that. I think someone got ahold of the box in between and gave it a good dose of pubes to make Dell look really, really bad. If not, here's the obligatory "dude, you're getting a crabs infestation."
Pubic vs. Public: Down the street from me is the "Mesa Public Schools Administration" building where the sign is right there at pedestrian level, right along the sidewalk on a major road where ne'er-do-wells and ruffians are always walking by. The L in the word "Public" on that sign is constantly being stolen, and they are constantly replacing it. It's so juvenile, but I giggle every time I see that it has gone "pubic" again. Mesa Pubic Schools, I love it.
Actually, Dell does monitor the consumerist, and yes, one of those people monitoring the consumerist (me) is grossed out enough to do something about this.
I'm sending a contact through the website linked to Kevin's photo, but if that doesn't get through, you can contact me at our public mailbox:
customer_advocate@dell.com
'ATTN:John'
We'll get this taken care of immediately.
John
Dell Customer Advocate
@econobiker: You win! Awesome.
Those pubes look embedded into the keys, not sprinkled. I vote inside job.
@John-at-Dell: You can tell he really reads it too because he knew enough not to say he was "taking it seriously."
































Eww...
Pubic hair is mispelled in the intro