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–>Michael wrote in to point out that CNN has a weird new feature on its site—now you can proudly display your favorite, uh, headlines(?) on your body with their “CNN Shirt” service. It’s beta, naturally, and they pick the headlines you can choose from—so no “What drove dad who kept ‘house of horror’?” tee to shame your parents during the next family holiday. (That’s the current top headline on their home page.)
Michael seemed as confused as us:
I’m not sure what to make of it. “Nominee for 2008 Stupidest Web 2.0 Idea” comes to mind, along with “something I’d expect from Fox News before CNN”. Or maybe it’s funny, if I enjoy walking around with “40-lb. hunk of metal hits driver in face” on my chest.
We think CNN is missing some good sales opportunities with their current paltry selection. After all, right there on the home page tonight are three very good potential t-shirt slogans under the Video section, going completely unused:
- Sleepy bear can’t stay awake
- Baby found in house of filth
- 7-minute battle with death
Update: Looks like CNN did tap “sleepy bear” and the “battle with death” slogans after all—but they messed them up with extra words.
Update 2: Ooo! Ooo! We want a t-shirt that says, “CNN Reporter Arrested With Meth And Sex Toy In Central Park” please, CNN.
CNN Shirt [CNN]
(Photo: “30 Rock”/NBC)
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Um… O…kay?
Pretty sure this had to have been dreamt up after a random day of cruising theonion.com, just you know, 18 years after they thought it up.
Earlier this week you could put whatever you wanted into the URL and it would print on the shirt. Guess they fixed that. I wonder if they’ll still ship my “Rupert Murdoch raped me and all i got was this lousy t-shirt” shirt.
Also, CNN wants photo evidence of you wearing your new adpparal:
Click any of the available shirt links and take a close look at the URL — you used to be able to change it to whatever you wanted! Looks like they fixed it, though..
@Michael Belisle: I know what you’re getting for Christmas.
I saw this tonight for the first time — I thought it was really bizarre. Are they just banking that their witty headline writers will come up with something that so perfectly encapsulates the human experience in five words that everyone will need it on a t-shirt? Let’s see: “Time capsule scroll intrigues school.” No, that one’s not so good; “Expired food sold at low, low prices.” Ok, well, maybe that one works. Still, .500 is a high average to keep up.
@Marsupial: Could not agree more. Especially for $15 a pop.
I think a shirt that simply says “This CNN.” with a picture of James Earl Jones on it would be the best option if CNN really really wants to do shirts.
I want a “Clinton News Network” shirt! How can I get one???
oh my god i have to have “Oops! Dad gives boy, 7, booze at game”
Did they fix their system so you cant write your own shirt anymore? I know a week or so ago on Fark people figured out how to put in their own headlines and it was hilarious.
How about a snarky “Anderson Cooper guest hosts on Regis and Kelly. I saw it on CNN.”
weekly world news had something like this
“Would you like an apple pie wit dat….?”
Mother of Eight Makes Hole in One
New Bridge Held up by Red Tape
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
Eye Drops Off Shelf
Farmer Bill Dies in House
Air Head Fired
“Incest family holds ‘astonishing’ reunion”
Awesome.
Um, did they forget to launch this on April Fool’s Day. (Or, worse yet, was it an April Fool’s Day idea that the powers-that-be actually liked?)
Consumerist forgot to mention that these shirts aren’t for everyone. In fact, the cotton garments require a PC or Mac:
What are the minimum computer specifications required to use CNN Shirts?
Windows
* Microsoft Windows®: 98SE, 2000, Millennium Edition, XP Home Edition, or XP Professional
* Microsoft Internet Explorer 5.5, Netscape Navigator 7, Firefox 1 or Opera 7.51
* 128 megabytes (MB) of RAM
* Broadband Internet connection or access to a high-speed network
* Super VGA (800 x 600) or higher resolution
Macintosh
* Mac OSX
* Safari 1.2, Firefox 1 or Opera 7.51
* 256 megabytes (MB) of RAM
* Broadband Internet connection or access to a high-speed network
* Super VGA (800 x 600) or higher resolution
[www.cnn.com]
@BigElectricCat: “Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped”
hahaha . . . gross.
I think it’s been taken down, because I can’t find the link but CNN had a story a while back with the title:
“Man Mistaken for Water Rodent, Shot in Face”
now THAT would look great on a shirt!
@lightaugust: “Area bassist fellated”
Your sisters over at Gawker has an extensive depository of CNN headlines:
[cache.gawker.com]
Even when you COULD alter the URL to make your own shirt caption, it wouldn’t let you add that shirt to your cart. It was mildly amusing to see it on the screen, though.
@spinachdip: Kind of partial to this one myself.
eff that! i want a Wolf Blitzer Beard!
also, isn’t this admission that they consider their own news to be sensational?
I think they stole this idea from The Onion.
@spinachdip:
The back page of each issue of Columbia Journalism Review always has the most delicious two-headed headlines, poorly-captioned photos and craptacular writing.
It’s like LOLcats for journalists.
Yay, there’s a new one!#! “Teen too young for ‘come hither’ pose?”. Eagerly awaiting the day Chris Hansen jumps out of a pantry to confront the guy wearing one of these.
@Orv: think? they totally stole this from The Onion. They were making those tees in the 90s.
They had one up over the weekend that said “Smuggled workers turned into slaves” or something like that. And you could buy it as a shirt.
Did anyone happen to notice that they appear to be using Spreadshirt to offer these shirts? Just go to http://www.spreadshirt.com and make your own store. Then you can make take a wide variety of clothing and put whatever you want on it. There’s no minimum or anything, you can make a shirt and order it for less than 15 dollars depending on the type of clothe you use.
But, yeah, essentially CNN is making money for doing nothing…just make your own and you can put whatever headline YOU want.
I would buy a Glenn Beck is a Moron Tshirt.
That would sell like hot cakes.