Conglomerist Shutters, Consumerist Returns

After a series of tense negotiations, Gawker Media Network was able to buy The Conglomerist back from Haberdasher Communications. The deal used equity raised by selling structured investment vehicles that capitalized on the securitization of pageviews. Chad Steelgate, April O’ Neil, and friends, have been transfered to a Convergys call center where they will work as retention specialists for what remains of America Online. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming, already in progress.

P.S. The only article that were outright fakes were LEAKS: Best Buy To Purchase Wal-Mart, Irregardless Is A Real Word, 5 Helpful Grocery Shopping Tips From The Conglomerist, Conglomerist: What To Do With Rebates So You Don’t Have To Redeem Them, 5 Steps To Being A Savvy Shopper, the Muppets financial advice, the refurbished Macbook Airs, and Introducing The Conglomerist. The rest were mainly true except for their tone.

Comments

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  1. MonkeySwitch says:

    Wait, so someone really had a satisfactory experience at Best Buy????

  2. jeblis says:

    The Muppets did not give me financial advice.

  3. @MonkeySwitch: Yes. I have. Plenty of times. Their pricing may not be great, but frankly, sometimes, it’s worth the convenience. I also don’t deal with “Geek Squad”. It’s all about common sense.

  4. jrlcopy says:

    Was the “Don’t have to pay taxes” thing real?! I’ll go back and read it then.

  5. FrugalFreak says:

    Did you give $1 a share at least?

  6. Kishi says:

    It may just be me, but the word “irregardless” made me laugh all day long.

    Though I am saddened to see that Firefox’s spell check says that irregardless is a word.

  7. outinthedark says:

    Next time change the Header!

    Great April Fools…I just couldn’t read anything because I didn’t know what was fake or not…

    I call BS on the BB story…who the heck would buy an HD-DVD player…?

  8. harrie says:

    See, I would have thought the story about bestbuy giving good customer service was an april fool’s joke.

    And last I checked, irregardless is a word. Everyone knows that!

  9. @MonkeySwitch: Truth be told, so have I. I have a cousin who is an employee there. He’s a young father with a GED. He works his ass off there and at two other jobs while going to school at night. But he is definitely the exception. He lets me use his employee discount, which is 5% over BB’s purchase price, so it’s a pretty steep discount.

    Pretty much everything I’ve read here about BB is accurate.

    But if he didn’t work there, you couldn’t PAY me to set foot in a BB.

  10. SOhp101 says:

    I have to say that overall it was a great April Fool’s Day on Consumerist–much better than other websites. At first I rolled my eyes when I saw the first post but after that it was pretty entertaining.

  11. chiieddy says:

    @MonkeySwitch: To be honest I’ve never had an unsatisfactory trip to Best Buy. My husband’s $600 laptop was purchased there years ago and still works well, with only one minor memory upgrade. I go there when I need to because it’s convenient.

  12. Applekid ┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ) says:

    @chiieddy: Everyone with a horror-story about Best Buy has similarly never had an unsatisfactory visit prior to that event.

  13. scoosdad says:

    I’m just waiting for these stories to make their way to Google, and some serious journalist finds one of them in the course of doing research for some story, misses the context of the day they were posted and the rest of the fake stories, and believes them to be real. Hilarity ensues.

    Irregardless of that, are you telling me that Best Buy really IS starting a venture capital fund? Oh the humanity….

  14. Maulleigh says:

    I’m sorry to see you go, April and Chad. However, I’m sure you’ll have a great time talking to my mom and dealing with her log-in problems.

  15. overbysara says:

    THANK YOU JESUS

  16. Bellor says:

    I’m going to have to ask you to NEVER do that again. Ever. I mean, ever. That was one of the worst April Fools experiences. I don’t get to camp on the computer, so I really don’t have time to sort through a bunch of bullshit articles while trying to find real, helpful ones. I understand the intent, but from a professional standpoint, its a pain in the ass.

    Solution: Didn’t bother going on here yesterday. I know, I’m a stick in the mud.

  17. SpenceMan01 says:

    @Bellor: Ditto over here. I hope it’s a bit more tactful next year.

  18. ptkdude says:

    “structured investments” made me think of those annoying as hell JG Wentworth commercials.

  19. ZekeSulastin says:

    I just saw it as a logical endstate for the sarcasm and snark of the bloggers at first, as I missed the initial Conglomerist post.

  20. William Mize says:

    @Bellor: No kidding, between this and the Mister T motif over at Gizmodo, it was all I could do not to throw my monitor out the window.

    Which of course, would have given me an excuse to get a new one at Best Buy, which has evidently turned over a new leaf and giving excellent customer service left and right. They are taking it very seriously.

  21. BalknChain says:

    I will miss Chad and April. They doled out such quality advice.

  22. Propaniac says:

    I thought the Conglomerist was pretty damn amusing, and I’m sincerely shocked (I shouldn’t be, I know) that so many people felt like it was a good use of their time to sit and post comments about how unfunny and useless they thought everything was. I mean, even if you didn’t enjoy the joke, it’s just a blog. A free blog. And it’s just one day. Get over yourself.

  23. Beerad says:

    @Propaniac: Agreed, although sometimes the tone in the “legit” stories kinda confused things (fake quotes in a real story = bad idea).

    “This town needs an enema.”

  24. letoofdune says:

    Kudos guys – awesome day, and hilarious articles. Probably one of the better “pranks” I saw all day.

  25. Alex Chasick says:

    Has it really been two years since “The Flesh Consumerist“? I loved those posts.

  26. Primate says:

    I couldn’t bother to read any of the posts yesterday. I didn’t feel like sifting through the BS from what was true.

    I’m not against having some fun, but you present yourself as a news site. You went overboard in my opinion.

  27. m4ximusprim3 says:

    Can Chad Steelgate get a guest writing position? I actually really enjoyed some of his posts.

    Irregardless, I quite enjoyed yesterday.

  28. Ciao_Bambina says:

    How about if you just take down all that stuff and we’ll just pretend it never happened, okay? That was painful.

    Next time, just link to what Google and Archie McPhee do and we’ll call it good.

  29. hi says:

    @jrlcopy: Tax dog says “Irregardless of what people ‘think’ it’s completely true”.

  30. Alex Chasick says:

    @Primate: We’re a news site?

  31. HannerHearse says:

    Consumerist was trying to get itself included in Google News results, so clearly it does (or did) want to be considered a serious news source.

  32. MARTHA__JONES says:

    I am shocked that anyone is so horribly offended that a blog pulled a prank on April Fool’s Day. It must be such a tough life when you are born with a humor deficiency.

  33. rbdfoxes says:

    @Primate: NPR yesterday?

  34. chiieddy says:

    @Applekid: I think the point is there are horror stories about every large corporation out there. Depending on how big they are, they’re likely to have more hits, but you hear about the negative experiences WAY more than the positives. I wonder if there are more positive stories out there than horror stories. It’s just the horror stories are much better reading. (Why do you think we read Consumerist?) :)