Some shillyshallying office worker came across some papers jammed in the Best Buy shredder that purport to show that Best Buy is going to buy Wal-Mart. Normally I wouldn’t sully the pages of The Conglomerist with such treacherous murk, but, irregardless, the news is just too good to keep to myself. If true, this would be the best thing ever to happen to consumers as two of the most kickass companies in America combine forces. Just thinking of of the cost-saving efficiencies provided by the vertical integration makes pleasure crystals ooze shoot out from my pores and explode all over my cat’s face (don’t worry, he’s ok). Oh, and so he can be fired, this traitor’s name is Ryan Smith
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hahah..
Great Joke. This would start the downfall of America as we know it.
Are we suppose to try to pretend this isn’t obviously an April Fool’s joke?
@se7a7n7: April what now?
But it looks so real…
:yawn:
this would destroy a decent store (Best Buy) through absorbing this shittiest store anywhere…. and create a mediocre store….
I should have started calling April Fools in the comments of everything I saw in the blogs today. Then people would know how super smart I am.
Jokes aren’t funny anymore.
today nothing is real real …
I’m going to downsize all the commenters.
But.. you just commented Chad..
@ChadSteelgate: Ha, it’s not like we are getting paid anyway
If only it were true.
@Spamwich: You’re only smart if you point out how unfunny or tired the jokes are. Duh!
So sick of April 1st
Worst consumerist day ever.
@Ida B Commenting: Hah, good point!
This is blasphemy…
No … this .. is .. CONGLOMERIST!
O_o
Eck.
I thought the first couple of AFD jokes were funny. By now, it’s just getting old.
April Fools
April Fools.
We get it…still.
Screw these negative jerks. I LOVE The Conglomerist! I’ve been loving it all day.
Some of you dudes need a sense of humor, yo.
@ChadSteelgate: where’s your star, Steelgate?
6 more seals and the apocalypse is upon us.
LOL!
@everyone: The realism is incredible guys, what are you talking about? No way this isn’t legit.
This is the THIRD time today I have seen IRREGARDLESS used in the original article. It is NOT a word and using bad grammar hardly makes anyone look educated. It’s one thing in a comment, but when non-words appear in alleged articles it makes everything look ignorant. Seriously, it’s not worth reading if the writer doesn’t know what a word is.
The worst part of it was the use of the non-word “irregardless”. That is true April Foolishness!
well, we can be pretty sure Best Buy probably won’t get the joke and if there actually is some poor sap working in corporate named Ryan Smith he’s gonna have a lot of ‘splainin to do…
but it’s still funny. all you folks with your crabby pants on need to lighten up. Or, I dunno, maybe write something better since you’re so darn clever.
Everytime I see the word “Conglomerist” I burst into random laughter…
The sad part is my girlfriend has NO idea what Consumerist, OR Conglomerist IS sooo I look like a total fool.
Conglomerist…heh
REGARDLESS of the fact that irregardless (sic) is not a word, I like it when people at my office say irregardless – it makes me laugh at their stupidity.
@danseuse322: Irregardless is a real word. What are you talking about? I have a forthcoming post that should elucidate matters.
Of course it’s an AFD joke you can even tell by the ‘new Slogan’ Beacuse Best Buy never has it and even if they do got it, it probably doesnt work. so they just dont got it
Alright everyone, let’s all calm down about the April 1st hatred. You make it seem like you can’t learn something from a faux article, when all it takes is something called “perspective.” For example, anyone can get their news from Fox News. One person will take what they see and believe it to be fact. Another person takes what they see, reverse everything, and know that that is fact. The same can be done here. Irregardless of that, everyone is all pissed off because they can’t read the same exact article, written with an opposite slant. That’s pretty strange, but hey, you supposably can’t please everybody all of the time.
This would be hilarious, except no other company in the world (except MAYBE Micro$oft) has enough money to buy Wal-Mart.
Best-Mart?
Wal-Buy?
OOOO, if Target bought Circuit City, they could call it TarCity!
I like the slogan “We Got It”. Is that a subtle reference to CompUSA?
OOOOO, Micro-Mart-Buy(Hoo)!!!
The best crap from China, and the crappiest software to run on your craptacular crap.
lol. as if
@ChadSteelgate: Good to see Conglomerist didn’t downsize and lose the stars.
You have the pleasure crystals?!
Where did you get those?
*suspicious eyes*
Wait, did someone call Best Buy decent?
@aaron8301: Microsoft can’t even buy Yahoo! I’d love to see them try to buy Wal-Mart.
I, for one, welcome our new retail overlords!
… no [yawn] seriously, i do
too nasty to comprehend……
Thats just a scary thought, two of the worst retailers merging together, not even funny…