How To Get An "Iffy" Loan Approved

Sometimes when you’re trying to get a borrower approved for a mortgage the system will tell you something stupid like “this person is not qualified.” Luckily, this internal document from Chase shows a few tips and tricks you can use to tweak a borrower’s profile so they can get a stated-income asset loan (which recently has received the unfair pejorative of a “liar’s loan” by the sensationalist media apparatchik) a piece of The American Dream. It’s specific to Chase’s internal loan approval system. Irregardless, many of the principles have universal application, no matter what level of the fast-paced exciting field of sub-prime mortgages you work. Highlights:

1. Bundle all compensation as base income, don’t break it down to commissions, bonuses and tips
2. Add gift funds to the base income
3. And if that still doesn’t work, just top off the income with an extra $500!

Full document as leaked to The Oregonian (turns out journalists are good for something other than reprinting our press releases, at least now the rest of us can learn from these advanced tips), inside…

zippycheats.jpg

Chase mortgage memo pushes ‘Cheats & Tricks’ [Oregonian via BoingBoing]

Comments

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  1. EmperorOfCanada says:

    lol @ Tammy D Lish

  2. Meg Marco says:

    I love this.

  3. Pro-Pain says:

    Chase SUCKS! Worst Godforsaken money McDonalds I have EVER dealt with.

  4. nequam says:

    Zippy? Like the pinhead?

  5. nequam says:

    Does it mean self-employed people must be at least 2 years old?

  6. MercuryPDX says:

    Wait…. how did you get the Oregonian to go along with this?

  7. esd2020 says:

    Pretty sure this one’s fo’ real. And awesome.

  8. chemmy says:

    And they wonder why the mortgage industry is in a nose dive… and yet banks like this want help…. for a mess they helped to create!

  9. MercuryPDX says:

    Tammy.D.lish? Mortgage Banker by day, Karaoke singing Drag Queen by night?

  10. m4ximusprim3 says:

    wait, I’m totally confused.

    Unless you hacked the oregonian, this is scarier than I thought.

  11. BlondeGrlz says:

    @MercuryPDX: Dude, the Oregonian article isn’t even from today. I think this is a horrible case of an April Fool’s joke that isn’t a joke.

  12. MissTic says:

    I think we’re getting our chains yanked. If not, kudos for at least requiring no BK’s, foreclosures (EVER!!) and a reasonable FICO.

  13. Anachronism says:

    As a (now unemployed- thanks in part to crap like this) Account Executive (bank rep that encouraged mortgage brokers to send their loans to my bank), I can say that this doesn’t surprise me in the least.

    I KNEW other account execs where telling brokers to do this, as we constantly got loans like this. Brokers would tell me they were doing this, and get really confused when I told them that I couldn’t accept the loan. They would freely volunteer that they were…

    1. Inflating income figures
    2. Misrepresenting sources of income and assets
    3. Not even asking the borrower for income (making it up themselves for whatever the loan needed to work)

    Obviously, if they hadn’t been trained that this was acceptable, they wouldn’t be telling me offhand that they were doing it.

    I didn’t work for Chase, and as I mentioned, we didn’t accept loans where we knew this was happening, but when the industry is trained that this is ok, you get these loans whether you want them or not.

  14. BOO_BOO_HOFF says:

    I think this is legit. We got a “stated income” mortgage from Chase a few months ago and the statement re self-employment exactly matches what the broker told me was required.

  15. Anachronism says:

    As a former account executive (same job as Ms. “D Lish”), I can say that I’ve seen similar documents and “suggestions” given out.

    I had to constantly coach against practices like this, as the bank I work for would terminate relationships if they found this happening, yet the brokers would be coached that this was “how you submit loans” by other AE’s.

  16. pinkbunnyslippers says:

    The Oregonian article is from 3/27…so…a bit early for April Fool’s…I think this one’s real!

  17. Juggernaut says:

    tammy.d.lish that’s got to be fake

  18. kilrathi says:

    This is not fake. Why does everyone assume that every single article posted today is fake simply because it’s April 1st? The fake articles stand out like a sore thumb. This holiday makes me fear for the future of humanity.

  19. Mr. Gunn says:

    her full name is T.ammy del.icio.us

  20. zero_o says:

    Boing boing posted this last week, it is not a fake

  21. redheadedstepchild says:

    Yeah, it cites Dean DeBuck as spokesman for comptroller of the currency. And he really is.

    So at least one goofy name checks out.

  22. Dean DeBuck? As in Buck Naked, the pr0n star?

  23. Darren W. says:

    If you guys are still having any doubt, a friend of mine just checked the Chase Corporate Address Book, and Tammy D. Lish IS in there!

  24. Darren W. says:

    I also just called the number. Tammy sounds nice enough, but perhaps not quite d.lish

  25. DaveStolte says:

    Keep in mind Chase’s “Zippy” is just the preliminary step in their process – loans still go to a live underwriter for approval or denial and anything “iffy” would get flagged. I think this is an important piece of the story that hasn’t been reported.

  26. RandomHookup says:

    I always thought getting an iffy loan approved involved kneepads.

  27. ChadSteelgate says:

    @RandomHookup: That’s disgusting. Clean up your act, mister.

  28. BlondeGrlz says:

    @ChadSteelgate: Nice star Chad. I bet you borrowed RandomHookup’s kneepads to get it so fast.

  29. RandomHookup says:

    Umm…they’re not my kneepads…they, umm, belong to a friend who left them. She’s from…Canada.