WHO: Walmart
WHAT: A Kentucky mother was outraged that Walmart stocked phallus-shaped fun straws. When she called to complain, “they were very rude with me about it. They acted like I was lying, like I was making it all up. You know, I would never make something up like that, especially about my little girl. But, that’s just how they treated me and it’s just not right.”
WHERE: Questionable Straw Shape Upsets Mother [WSAZ] (Thanks, Mark!)
THE QUOTE: “At Wal-Mart we take customer questions and concerns seriously. After being contacted on this matter, Wal-Mart pulled the product in question from our shelves and is investigating the claim. Of course, our customer is welcome to return the item for a refund, if they would like.”
BONUS: WSAZ launched a classy investigation into the incident, which appears after the jump.
“Taking it seriously” is a phrase companies use over and over again in public statements whenever they have bad PR. Our series of posts on occurrences of the phrase is our attempt to question how seriously companies are really taking these matters if every time they trot out this phrase by rote.
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@eskimo81: That’s not what she said >_>
Hello Walmart customer service.
Yes, thank you i’ll hold.
Hi. Yes i’m here.
I would like to know if you have any dick straws available.
The WSAZ closeup photos of the straw say “click to enlarge.”
Probably the same woman who led a campaign against the U. of Kentucky Wildcat with a penis tongue.
[forum.ebaumsworld.com]
Wouldn’t Freud say that sometimes a straw is just a straw?
Corporate: Well, sales of the Tricky Dickie line slowed, so we just tried to cut our losses.
@Techno Viking:
Hey annoying European male, what are you doing here if you have such a low opinion of America?
@ClayS: Word to the wise, the Internet != America only. Jeez.
Most of the people who comment on this site probably don’t see what the big deal is. But most of the people who shop at WalMart probably do see what the big deal is. WalMart tries to be “family friendly” and “Christian-like” – and if their customer base finds something sold offensive, I would hope they would take action on it.
I personally am going to stop by and see if I can find some of those straws myself – I think they’d make great gag gifts – without the shame of going into an “adult” store.
@ClayS: Wow. That comment must be pretty insulting to the other Americans here as a whole.
Not only do you apparently believe that if someone isn’t American they must be ‘European’ (because obviously no other continents exist), but you also actually believe there’s such a thing as a ‘European’ person.
I’d be embarrassed, I honestly would.
Phallic? I think it looks more like Dolly Parton!
@BayStateDarren: Got Milk?
@Techno Viking: Of course local news would cover it. They need something when they run out of crime and cute missing girls.
@CharlieSeattle: You mean penes.
@DeltaPurser: She’s just thinking of her daughter, who umm… I don’t know, has to wait until she’s older to learn the difference between boys and girls? Think of the children!
@cjdmi: You know, there’s a quiz called Sex Toy or Baby Toy? Try to look at any baby toy the same after that.
@s2eb779: I’m totally repressing the urge to make a tacky joke about teenaged prostitution training.
@s2eb779: Yes Ms. Spears, we understand your daughter(s) are innocent little angels, and you don’t want them exposed so they will remain pure until their 20′s. Yes, we take this very seriously.
This woman must have a vivid imagination and the newsman is having a slow day..I am not a walmart fan but this borders on ridiculous,
@Onouris:
No, I don’t believe that anyone not from America is European, but the poster to whom I responded has said he is from Europe.
And I certainly don’t have a problem with Europeans. I just didn’t see why he needed to call this woman an “American dumb female”. He can disagree with her opinions (and I do as well) without denigrating her nationality.
Just put the straws next to the vibrators they sell, and they will be fine.
What kills me is this quote of hers:
“You know, I would never make something up like that, especially about my little girl.”
…huh? I thought we were talking about straws, here.
Wait, so if I’m morally outraged by something sold at Wal-Mart, I need not only console myself with not buying it, I can complain to Wal-Mart and get it pulled from the shelf?
Rick Warren (books), your days are numbered.
This woman obviously has some screwed up issues surrounding sex. The one you should feel sorry for is her daughter. Imagine being a teenager (at some point) around a mother freaked out by drinking straws because she finds them too sexually explicit.
I think the straw looks like a pear or a squash. But now I have an idea for a great new adult novelty!
Time to freshen the chlorine in the gene pool again.
LOL! That kills me that the initial sales person was like, “Whatever.” Totally inappropriate.
As ridiculous as it is for this to be aired as “news,” I could see where this mom is coming from if some straw one way or another caused her to envision her toddler drinking cumulative gallons of her artificially flavored, artificially colored, artificially preserved corn syrup tonic through a plastic penis.
@ClankBoomSteam: Totally!
Look for them to move from Wal-Mart into the dollar stores.
Oh no! Something shaped like a part of the human body that roughly fifty percent of the population is born with, and is necessary for the survival of the species!!!
I think we are all missing the point here. Did you see some of the stuff she bought on her reciept? She bought radiator fluid, candy, pop, cake, and other “nutritous” food for her and her kid. I think that phallic shaped straws is the least of her concerns.
P.S. It irritates the hell out of me when kids drink from straws on TV… Don’t know why..
Even if this female is a Darwin Award finalist, her point is that the straw is not appropriate for children. I agree. It’s bad enough to have abstinence-only preggers-ed but now we have practice toys. Ewwww. Save it for Spring Break.
Man, she is ballsy! Pretty cocky too!
How would a 3 year girl be prepared to make the connection to what it is shaped like? Especially, since the mother seems to have a serious hang up over the concept (poor father).
We should ban straws as the are a waste of oil – teach that kid to drink out of a cup like the it was intended.
@ClayS:
Educational and cultural purposes, you? Oh that’s right, I am here to study how Americans have nothing to do but to go and complain on consumerist about other people’s comments. Dude, relax and have a nice day. Everywhere you go there are smart people, and then there are not so smart people. Who you are, depends on your actions. Prove me wrong if u can, prove me wrong and then I will change my mind. of course, doing that is beyond your capability so let’s just not talk about it as facts speak for themselves. Have a nice day American.
The scary thing to me is that this “young mother” (an issue in itself) will probably be eligible to vote in a Presidental election. Her vote counts the same as anyone else’s who could be intelligent. No wonder we have Bush/Cheney, a trillion dollar war, the Walmartization of America, real estate equity meltdown, recession, unchecked corporate criminality, and the thousands of “legal” scams cited on this website.
Boy, I’m glad this “young mother” is making me safer from phallic straws, rocket straws, squiggly straws, or whatever the silly thing is. Wouldn’t you want a toddler to learn to drink from a conventional cup or glass ? Silly me.
im so grateful i live in america rather than Kentucky
She’s just mad because they used the shape of her brothers phallus without permission.
This is what happens when you shop in stores full of low priced crap produced in factories with no quality control. They probably ARE penis straws intended for adult stores, but when you’re making 27 cents a day packing straws, are you really paying that much attention to what’s getting packaged together?
That said, her “what’s going to happen to other families?” comment is priceless. Clearly, vaguely penis-shaped straws are the greatest threat the American family has ever faced.
@Hossofcourse: Cut? or uncut our losses? D’OH!
@ClankBoomSteam: “Save money, Live Better” is WalMart’s motto after all.
How concerned can she be about exposing her daughter to those “graphic images” when the little girl is sitting right next to her during the interview, watching intently as her mother discusses parts of the male anatomy.
I’d get one of my own.
@Techno Viking: HI pot, meet kettle.
I look forward to your rambling nonsensical reply.
Wal-Mart gets the customers they deserve.
Anyway, it’s not a phallus, it’s the Bell Labs logo.
Hmm. She may think genitalia, but I’m thinkin’ Arbys.
I figured it out. It’s butternut-squash shaped straws. They’re not phallic at all!
I take it the victimized little girl doesn’t have a baby brother, or has never seen a baby boy during a diaper change?
I don’t know which is better, the ridiculous overreaction of this woman or the borderline misogynistic comments suggesting that a good dickin’ll set ‘er straight!
@TangDrinker: No you are wrong. Most of the people who commented at WSAZ were incredibly cruel to her. We get this station and I did notice that it fizzled pretty quick after everyone made their jokes. We have real problems around here like murders and the drug trade. It also caused debate in the newsroom as some thought it wasn’t a story. It was more comic relief than anything.
And some of you who made some pretty crazy assumptions, remember, others can come on this site and make some pretty asinine assumptions about people here.
My take on the what will happen to other families. Hopefully it would inspire some good conversation between parent and child.
@bohemian: Agree completely! She could not even say the word penis.
I don’t know which is better, this woman’s ridiculous overreaction or the borderline misogynistic comments suggesting that a good dickin’ll set ‘er straight!
This comment may appear twice, so enjoy it double.
(Also companies already make novelty penis straws, I discovered this at a recent bachelorette party. They are much more obviously phallic than these.)