Dell Won't Stop Sending Me Catalogs So I'm Burning Them

Even though I have asked them several times and waited several months, Dell won’t stop sending me catalogs, so I’m burning them. Every other company that sends me catalogs that I’ve requested to be removed from their mailing list has done it. I have called customer service on two different occasions and requested to be removed. I have gone to the special website on the back of the catalogs and requested to be removed. I have done this for both the sets of names and addresses they have on file for me. They don’t care. I tried to be nice but obviously that doesn’t work. So burn, baby, burn. It may not stop the mailings, but I felt better afterwards. Another image of Dell catalog immolation, inside…

In addition, I used to receive catalogs from Dell Home and Home Office but they honored my unsubscribe requests. Obviously whoever is running the small biz catalogs is not doing their job right. It’s my hope that this series of beautiful and seemingly childish gestures might possibly prompt Dell to investigate the matter. If it results people’s unsubscribe requests actually get honored, then I will have saved more trees by burning this catalog then if I recycled it. It’s just a hunch, but somehow I don’t think simply placing the catalog in the recycle bin will have the same effect as my direct marketing pyre.dellfire 002

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Comments

  1. Kat@Work says:

    Whatever makes you feel better, I guess. I just wouldn’t want to have to clean your stove, LOL.

  2. B says:

    This doesn’t seem like a very good idea. I would suggest burning them outside, at least. That way you’re not inhaling the fumes, plus there’s less risk of burning your house down.

  3. ivanthemute says:

    Beautiful! The flames, the flames! Eat, my beautiful hungry children! Eat all of Dell’s demise!

  4. Dibbler says:

    Why is this a story? So they keep sending you crap… Throw it away and stop making a huge issue out of nothing.

  5. DeeJayQueue says:

    good luck not getting cancer by burning the oil-based ink and varnish that those things are covered with, not to mention what the paper is made out of. maybe it feels better to burn them than to shred them but at least you won’t get some lung disease from it.

  6. clayfree says:

    Burning it on your stove top is priceless but what’s you mon gonna say when she gets home. You must not have to clean or pay for appliances.

  7. Ben Popken says:

    The fumes were delicious.

  8. stephenjames716 says:

    lame!

  9. Buran says:

    @Dibbler: I recycle my junk mail, not throw it away. But there’s psychological satisfaction to be gained from burning junk that just won’t stop.

    Why not fill a whole (metal) trash can with dell catalogs, then burn them all at once? (be sure to do this where it’s not illegal to burn trash). Film the whole thing. Put it on youtube or some other video sharing site. EECB Dell execs with a link to the video in the message.

  10. bravo369 says:

    @Dibbler: I bet he’s just trying to make a point in the hopes that someone from Dell reads this site and they can do something about the mailers.

    I get these all the time too even though i never buy anything. I just use it as a rough price estimate when new products/features hit the market.

  11. EmperorOfCanada says:

    They keep sending you material so instead of recycling it you burn it. You sure told them…

  12. LatherRinseRepeat says:

    How about recycling them instead? Or just write “Return To Sender”.

  13. Adposs says:

    Next on the Consumerist: General Electric’s faulty stove gave me cancer! Should I email the CEO or just skip straight to small claims court? Perhaps a strongly worded complaint to the BBB is in order?

  14. crabbyman6 says:

    Take that Dell, I’m not recycling AND releasing toxic fumes in my home! HA-HA! Maybe he’s setting them up for a lawsuit in 30 years.

  15. Beerad says:

    Are you kidding, Ben? You just dump them on your gas stove and turn the burners on? I can see the headline now: “Popular blog editor’s neighbors found dead after inhaling toxic fumes — apartment building is ‘taking it very seriously’”

  16. RandoX says:

    I enjoy shredding credit card offers and mailing them back in the prepaid business reply envelopes.

  17. Moosehawk says:

    Some people need to lighten up. If the story doesn’t interest you, don’t read it or comment. It’s not like this one took more than a minute to look at…

    Anyway,
    When you burned them, did demons come flying, screeching out of the flames in pain and agony? Have you tried just pouring holy water on the catalogs?

  18. chemmy says:

    Return to sender.

    And ditto on mailing back the shredded credit card offers.

  19. Ben Popken says:

    The windows were open. I know how to play with fire. It’s obvious from the comments that this post is a big hit so I will bow to your demands and upload even more pictures.

  20. opticnrv says:

    What you REALLY need to do is video tape yourself burning Dell catalogues and post it on YouTube. I’m sure Dell does not want video of their catalogues burning up on the internet. It should get their attention and fix your problem.

  21. Rectilinear Propagation says:

    I want to do this with all the coupon crap I get in the mail but I would want to get a permit to do it so that I could burn them outside of the Post Office.

  22. Landru says:

    I’ll bet you are on a media mailing list and not on a customer list.

  23. Rufdawg says:

    @Ben Popken: You are likely violating your state’s open burning rules. In general, states prohibit the burning of anything manmade, including paper catalogues. While you might fall under some states’ exception for “ceremonial purposes”, depending on the jurisdiction, civil penalities could amount to anywhere from hundreds to thousands of dollars per violation. Of course, you have to get caught by an air quality inspector…

  24. lincolnparadox says:

    Why not take the postage-paid reply cards from Dell, repackage all of the catalogs that you received, tape the card to the box and ship?

    Be sure to rip the back page of the catalog off, though. You know, the part with your name and address.

  25. arch05 says:

    Way to fuck up a nice stove. And your lungs.

  26. Nissan288 says:

    you realize that the first person to develop fire resistant and crumple resistant paper ads will be a millionaire overnight…

  27. magus_melchior says:

    Lesson for Dell: Don’t contract with a marketing troll.

  28. DomZ says:

    Just recycle it and call it a day. No need to make a “look at me!!” video burning the catalogs.

  29. consumersaur says:

    @B:

    Uh, thanks dad.

  30. KenSPT says:

    Yes, because receiving one catalog a month is such a HORRIBLE inconvenience … moron …

  31. SkokieGuy says:

    Perhaps you’d like to join Dell’s Green Grid

    Feb. 27, 2007
    Yesterday, a new organization called The Green Grid announced the completion of the consortium’s formation and issued a call for members. The Green Grid is a global consortium dedicated to developing and promoting energy efficiency for data centers and information services. ……We’re proud to be among the founding members of the organization and I wanted to share this news in because we know how important the issue of energy-efficiency has become in the IT industry.

    From: [direct2dell.com]

  32. Ben Popken says:

    @KenSPT: Two catalogs, actually, thanks.

  33. erica.blog says:

    @Landru: Regardless, Dell should be able to take a name off the list. 99% of other companies are capable of doing it.

    Hickory Farms won’t take my email address off their mailing list, despite 7 requests through various channels, so I wrote a (snail mail) letter to them explaining that they are quite rude and will never get my business again. I didn’t want to burn my computer, though, so I just route the messages straight to delete :)

  34. wring says:

    uh, ok. My grandma likes burning stuff too.

  35. yesteryear says:

    brilliant! this is like that scene in ‘how stella got her groove back’…where angela basset lights her ex husbands stuff on fire in the driveway… except you’re a white guy, and it was two dell catalogues, and it was in your kitchen. but still. very powerful stuff.

    seriously though – i think this is really funny in an absurdist way. nice.

  36. Ben Popken says:

    @Rufdawg: I’ll make sure to not let any “air quality inspectors” in my house for the next hour or so until the smell clears.

  37. Milstar says:

    what’s really weird is that I have purchased many many many items from dell and have never got a catalog sent to me in the last 4 yrs.

  38. warf0x0r says:

    Might I suggest simply calling them one more time and telling them that because they haven’t listened to your demands your now persuading family members not to buy their products.

    If you can force just one person to shop else where that’s money they will never recoup from sending you mailers.

    Do an EECB and include a picture of someones new non-Dell PC purchase.

  39. linedpaper says:

    save the ashes of every single dell catalog you burn and then mail it back to them once it’s full with some pictures and a letter!

  40. linedpaper says:

    mail the ashes back to them!

  41. eabu says:

    It’s nice to see the DELL logo burn. I have tried to get rid of DELL catalogs for 2.5 years. Kudos for bad publicity towards DELL incompetence/ignorance/deception.

  42. SomeoneGNU says:

    Don’t stop there! Set your house on fire then sue Dell for the damages. Then sue the people who built your house for not making it flame resistant! Then sue your neighbors to not saving your house!

    LET THE MAILING OF TWO CATALOGS MAKE YOU RICH!

  43. Moosehawk says:

    @linedpaper: In a vase. With a label on it that says Go To Hell, Dell.

  44. cashmerewhore says:

    Lame story. God forbid you recycle them, or reuse them as packing material for the stuff you guys are always selling on eBay.

  45. AMetamorphosis says:

    … and this stops the mailers from coming how ?

  46. Deivion says:

    Good job, your keeping the woodcutting industry going by burning paper instead of recycling them.

  47. AMetamorphosis says:

    SOLUTION:

    Take prepaid mailers and stuff them with every other piece of junk mail you can find and mail them back.

    For further fun, DON’T remove your name or address and wait till they contact you.

    I’ve gotten off of several junk mail lists this way.

  48. jumbobrave says:

    Why would you burn something like that in your kitchen? Do it properly, for goodness sake. And doesn’t this guy have working smoke detectors in his house?

  49. Osi says:

    Reply to sender does not work as mail carriers are generally retarded. This cannot be considered mail fraud because they are not charging you for anything.

    If the post office will not do their job, then take both the PO and Dell to court after you sent certified letters to both businesses.

  50. prameta1 says:

    could you elaborate a little further on how burning all of those catalogs on your own kitchen stove helps anything? i really don’t get this kind of behaviour. burning catalogs, smashing your macbook on youtube, what does that accomplish? then again, the kid on youtube got apple’s attention and got a new macbook. maybe dell will end up shipping you nicer catalogs.