As some schools districts whore themselves out to corporate sponsors in a desperate attempt to raise funds (hey, we sympathize with them, but it’s still whoring), others are enforcing a zero-tolerance policy against unwelcome intrusions. In New Haven, Connecticut, the school district banned candy sales in 2003 “as part of a districtwide school wellness policy,” and when an 8th grade honors student was caught buying a bag of Skittles from a classmate two weeks ago, he was stripped of his title as class Vice President and suspended for a day.
Reports CNN, “He says he didn’t realize his candy purchase was against the rules — although he did notice the student selling the Skittles on February 26 was being secretive.”
New Haven sounds sort of like that little town in Footloose, only against candy instead of dancing. Also, candy will make you chubby and give you Ren and Stimpy teeth, whereas we know from television that dancing will bring you fame and make you live forever.
(Thanks to MissBrooke!)