Domino’s has a mildly amusing television campaign right now to promote their new slogan “You Got 30 Minutes,” but the fine print on Domino’s site points out that this should be taken only as a suggestion, not a service guarantee: “Because safety is a priority “You Got 30 Minutes™” is not a guarantee but an estimate. You may get more.” A former Domino’s delivery guy is not impressed: “Some douchebag ad exec wants to trick customers into believing that the ’30 minutes or it’s free’ guarantee is back, then leave it to the delivery drivers to explain to inevitably angry customers why their pizza isn’t free when it gets there in 31 minutes.”
He writes, “Just imagine your summer job consisting of this conversation 100 times a night:”
DRIVER: Um, that’ll be $23.52.CUSTOMER: No, I called before eight, that actually took thirty-four minutes.
DRIVER: I am sorry valued customer but Domino’s Pizza no longer honors the thirty minute guarantee anymore thirty minutes is just an estimate I apologize for the inconvenience.
[CUSTOMER LAUGHS. THERE IS AN AWKWARD SILENCE]
CUSTOMER: You’re serious? What a f*cking crock, you expect me to pay for this? I just saw the ad on tv!
DRIVER: Sir, calm down-
CUSTOMER: F*ck you, this is all your fault! If the advertising people were here I’d punch them a lot but because they’re not I’m gonna pretend that you’re them and by beating you it will somehow solve things!!!
DRIVER: Please don’t-
[CUSTOMER STARTS BEATING DRIVER OVER THE HEAD WITH THE PIZZA...]
(Thanks to Mike!)
“On Behalf Of All Former Delivery Drivers, I Say F*CK YOU, Domino’s Pizza” [Best Week Ever]
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For the record the driver does get a portion of the delivery fee. Not all of it it depends on gas prices.
We usually go with the local place which, on a weekend night, takes in the area of an hour and a half to deliver a pizza. The other week we decided to give Domino’s a call because we had a coupon. Our pizza arrived hot and fresh in about 25 minutes. It tasted just as good as I remember Domino’s tasting (which isn’t bad, despite the opinions of others here).
@ShortBus: Fair enough, but the whole of his wealth (and subsequent investment in questionable interests like Ave Maria, FL) is built on Domino’s and the blood on its hands. And yes, their pizza is still crap.
@kevinhall: Yes, this is called job shadowing, and most of the Fortune 500 companies do it. It’s considered a novel act akin to “slumming” for a night. An MBA from an Harvard is not going to have the same experience in a few days of training as the average high school graduate has trying to scrape together a living on weak tips and leftover pizza. I’d know, because I develop training curricula for big ol’ companies and before that I had to scrape together a living on tips.
@thesabre: I have made my own pizza numerous times in the past. Sometimes I don’t feel like making my own pizza.
“Just do it yourself” really isn’t a helpful response in these cases. If I wanted to do it myself, I wouldn’t be looking to pay someone else to do it, now would I?
When I was living with my best friend, we ended up a few miles from home, exhausted, and with no change for the bus. So we went to the dominoes we always ordered from, and told them we’d order a $10 pizza for delivery, and give them $5 extra as a tip using an interac card, if they’d deliver us, too. Dude took us up on it – we ordered dominoes from that location for years just because those individuals were so damn cool. I don’t agree with their senor psychopath corporate owner, so I don’t get it anymore, but sometimes the drivers and night managers are just plain Kick. Ass.
@RagingTowers:
It was sarcasm. I realize that many mountain towns have not yet discovered it but it is truly a wonderful form of expression.
I just made 4 16″ pizza for $26.61. I made the dough from scratch, with spices & parmesian in it. I priced the pre-made
dough at the grocery store, they wanted $2.00 for each pizza, and it didn’t have anything in it but flour, water and yeast.
My dough worked out to $0.40 a piece, and it was much more flavorful. And the amount of toppings on mine were 2-3 times
thicker than any ordered pizza. I figure if I had ordered from
any of the regular pizza places, with double toppings, it would have cost from $18-$26 for each pizza. That is equal to the cost of all 4 of mine.
I thought that when it came to pizza delivery, the only thing that matter was whether or not the delivery guy was holding.
I have to agree with this guy – it’s total crap that the ad guys, making 60K a year to start, put the poor sap making $8 an hour in the position to have to explain this.
Actually, I’m wondering when, as a country, we’re going to get fed up with marketing and ad speak. I was in (national subshop that likes things toasty) the other day, and couldn’t find regular subs on the menu. There were “Delectable Turkey Subs” and “Classic Signature Subs” and “Premium Subs” – but no “Sub Sandwiches”.
A tuna salad sub with nothing, incidentally, is apparently such a tradition at this place that it’s a “Classic Signature” item.
HAHA! as a former driver, i can attest to having the OP conversation at least a dozen times a nite – & we didn’t have a 30 minute guarantee (in fact, we often told customerss 45 min – 1 hr when they called). no problem – you don’t wanna pay, you don’t eat.
& to the cheap tippers out there, know that there are rules that drivers follow:
1) stiff me once & next time your pizza comes upside down.
2) stiff me twice & i let it sit in the walk-in freezer upside down for 30 minutes before i deliver it.
3) stiff me three times & your pizza will be free (along with the flaming bag of poo i leave on top of it).
tips should be proportional to your distance from the pizza shop – if you live around the corner, a driver is happy to receive $1. if you live 15 miles away, be prepared to be more generous ($3-$5). tip well & your food will come fast & hot in the future (i went out of my way to deliver to the people that padded my pocket).
& if you’re a cheap s.o.b. claiming that “people don’t need to work there if they don’t make enough”, you’re right & drivers know it. when the tips dry up, the drivers leave & guess who gets off their fat ass if they want to eat a pie? owners refuse to spend a lot of money on delivery, so don’t expect them to pony up more moola for your convenience – they just cut the service, charge more for it, or restrict it. example: when one shop i worked for discovered a lot of cheap douchebags in the nouveau-riche development on the outskirts of our delivery area, we cut the area from our map. still want a pizza? sure! $15 “out of area” delivery charge, $40 minimum order.
One (semi)serious question for pizza delivery folks: Lots of pizza places have online ordering sites. Many of those sites allow credit card payment and offer options for including the tip amount at point of order, rather than at point of delivery.
Which do you prefer? Seeing your tip as you deliver, but on a credit card statement (which means it’ll be easier to tax/be swiped by management/etc) or being tipped in cash at the door?
Does a generous pre-tip encourage better service, or (because it’s ‘locked in’) worse?
@Joedragon: At Pizza hut back in the late 90′s you would get decent money. I was getting minimum wage and 50 cents a delivery from the hut and kept all the tips.
If we were going to a bad area, they let you know (if you were new and didn’t know already) and told you to leave the topper at the store.
Was a pretty sweet gig for a little while, I would often make $90 in tips in a night, and never less than $50 in tips. on top of the minimum wage, that wasn’t too bad for a single college guy with a drinking agenda.
@robocop_is_bleeding: My old roommate delivered pizza for awhile. I’m sure he liked the cash. He wouldn’t report 75% of the money he was tipped.
I’m going to go back and read all the comments in a second, but I’m putting the over/under on, Dominoes-sux-I-can-go-to-store-and-buy-flour-and-tomatoes-and-basil-and-using-my-own-homemade-mozzerella-make-way-moar-delicious-pizza-ur-all-stupid-LOL comments at, say, seven. There’s something about these pizza posts that just brings that out.
Oh, and beating someone with a pizza sounds like fun.
Amen. I think 30 minutes is way too little time and I’d be pissed if someone promised something they couldn’t deliver. I hope they sh*tcan this campaign and pronto.
This is like the match.com campaign where they promise you can meet the person of your dreams in six months or you get another six months free. “Oh, did we say that? Oh we meant if you were pissed off at our shitty promises and canceled.”
They still promise this. I can’t believe it.
Bah, I really can’t give myself more than four, so it’s the under.
This is all mute. Contribute to your local pizza guy. He’ll make a better pie and the tip will go to the driver only. It might take 40 minutes on a Friday, but it’s so worth it! Plus, your odds of getting processed ingredients drops significantly. Everyone wins!
Why would anyone order from a national chain anyway? Around here (just north of 8mile, outside Detroit) all the good pizza comes from Mom and Pop shops that make the sauce fresh, use real toppings (I refuse to eat canned mushrooms on pizza, it’s revolting and should only happen at one of those 5 dollar for a large pizza joints) and have better dough for the crust/bread.
For 15 bucks, I can get a large chicago style deep dish with chunky tomato sauce, plus 3 toppings.
Honestly, who buys from any of the chains? Morons.
@Exek: That’s why they put a pizza in the box – to keep it warm. Hot cardboard tastes so much better than cold cardboard…
seriously just gave me more reason to order from Dominoes..besides, I like their pizza@RIP MRHANDS:
@blurdo: you brought up a lot of valid points. I believe there have been delivery drivers injured by crazies. When I lived in Phoenix for some reason the pizza was late a lot, but even if I got the pizza for free, if it was hot, I tipped the driver, as generally it wasn’t their fault. For the ones saying why I didn’t get off my lazy butt to go get it myself, I had 3 small children and it was a pain in the butt to go places if I didn’t have to. I haven’t noticed delivery charges here in MD yet, but then I’ve found a local place that delivers and their pizza is very tasty, but definitely not within 30 minutes..
Two of the most scary batshit driving maneuvers I have seen since moving to the US were both Domino’s drivers: First was a guy turning sharp right from the left lane across three lanes of pretty fast moving traffic. Second was a Dominos guy who just completely blew through two red lights in front of me.
PS: I don’t tend to order pizza in a lot, because I will either A) make it myself or B) go to a sit down pizza place. But there are plenty of situations where ordering a bunch of pizzas is a great option, so can we PLEASE have a moratorium on the “why did you order pizza lol make it yourself it only costs 3 pennies and takes 10 seconds and tastes like fairy tears” comments
I’d prefer pizza joints do it right instead of doing it fast. I stopped ordering from them altogether because they never considered it important. Wrong size, wrong toppings, wrong bill, wrong number of pizzas, etc.; none of them deserve another chance as far as I’m concerned.
And yes, as another poster said, Dominos tastes like faeces. Unlike what the other poster admitted to, I have only experience eating Dominos pizza, not the other substance.
Once again, this proves how much corporations do not care about their workers. Having worked in customer service (food service, video rental) you realize how low you are on the chain, and the company just doesn’t give a shit about you. You also get really bitter and understand how it’s all about the Benjamins.
Dominos used to have “Free Delivery” on the store signs.
While in college, (and usually on a busy Friday night), we would call up and ask for a carry out pizza order. After taking the order, we’d then ask for it to be delivered. The phone droid would inevitibly argue but we’d go back to “The sign says free delivery- so what does it matter who delivers?” Fun, fun, fun…
Taste of the pizza aside, my roommates ordered it last night and were told by a grumpy dispatcher/order-taker that it would be 45 mins-1 hour.
20 minutes later, pizza arrived at our door. I assume that’s either because we tip well at our house, or who ever’s taking the orders is trying to prevent customer asshattery.
and BTW, read here for fun and crazy pizza delivery stories (and really bad customers):
[tipthepizzaguy.com]
I delivered pizza part time a few years ago for Domino’s with my half brother as a way to get to know him and have some fun. It wasn’t that bad of a gig, or that bad of pizza as some people cry about. There was however, a severe lack of drivers so at times it could take up to 45 minutes or more to deliver a pizza. This is usually on nights where the special deals are going on (2 for Tuesday) or on Friday or Saturday nights. It also happens more on rainy nights or other inclement weather.
People cry about how long it takes all the time, but guess what? In the time it takes to make a pizza and get it to your house, you could have come in and picked it up and been home 25 minutes ahead of delivery on a busy night. Also, tipping a pizza guy on your credit card 1 dollar isn’t a good idea. It prints out right on the receipt what the tip is when you pay with a credit card, so for 1 dollar, your pizza no longer becomes a priority. Your pizza will most likely be the last of a 3 delivery run.
And finally, don’t be the jerk that expects exact change back. If you want change back on a $15.34 order, ask for 1 or 2 bucks back on your $20 and let the pizza guy afford to eat. If you ever ask for coin change, you are truly risking your house or vehicle’s well being at that point.
ok serioulsy do you really want your pizza to be cooked and delivered in 30 minutes? Is this pizza even going to be good quality when it’s made and delivered so quickly..
@Superborty: When it started getting people killed, Dominoes, to their credit, started only giving $3 off when the pizza was late, and the driver wasn’t dinged for it. And deaths went down but they were forced to remove any kind of guarantee as part of a court settlement.
Source: Me. I used to deliver pizza for them. And there was absolutely no pressure to speed or drive unsafely.
You know what’s a pet peeve of mine? Grammatically incorrect slogans.
@mac-phisto:
You know what the beautiful thing is?
For every asshat delivery boy that quits when the tips dry up, there’s half a dozen other unskilled oafs waiting in line to take his place.
I write a check for the exact amount. No tip.
Take it up with management.
Anyone who doesn’t tip is an a-hole.
Some poor dude drives his crappy car all the way out to my place in the freezing cold, to bring dinner to my doorstep?
The least I can do is a $5 tip. I’m eating out anyway. What’s the difference? I won’t notice the missing money but I tell you that my Dominoes here remembers me and brings it fast and gives amazing service now that they know I’m a good tipper.
I hate companies that make too many promises just like an infomercial
1) I agree with the OP.
2) I don’t understand people who take a delivery job and then whine about how the people who want something delivered are lazy and fat.
@timmus: I bought a round metal pizza sheet (like a cookie sheet but round) and the crust comes out fine. I know what oyu mean about the stone. Dominos is really gross though.
My local dominos never gets me a pizza under 45 minutes unless I call them RIGHT when they open on a business day.
I ordered a pizza from them I guess right when the promotion started. I hadn’t seen it advertised yet. As I was signing my receipt the driver asked me “What did you do with your 30 minutes?” I asked him to explain and he said now they’ll try to deliver the pizza right at 30 minutes so if you need to run out for a soda or you have other things to do you’ll be able to do them without worrying about when the pizza will show up.
It sounds like a nice promotion. I can see how people might assume it has something to do with the old 30 minutes or it’s free promotion, but if it doesn’t say it in black and white don’t expect it.
On that same note, I ordered me a pizza online a few weeks back. It was during a snowstorm so I assumed it would take longer than 30 minutes.
I checked the “track your pizza” feature and was surprised when it “left with the driver” at 20 minutes. When the pizza hadn’t arrived an hour after that we called to say we don’t want a pizza that left the location an hour prior.
At that point, we were informed that this new “tracking” was actually automated and my pizza left the store 5 minutes ago.
Automated… Fantastic service guys.
Am I the only one scratching my head about the grammar?
“You‘ve got 30 minutes”
YOU GOTS TA SPEEK PROPPA ENGLITCH!
The last time I tried Domino’s I recall the sauce having a taste similar to vomit. If for some reason I was forced at gunpoint to eat that crap I would look at their “30 Minute” guarantee as a tortuous countdown to doom.
You Got 30 Minutes! (of not having to taste vomit sauce)
Also, look up their CEO Tom Monaghan on wikipedia. The man is nuts.
@CapitalC: You’re the only one scratching your head about the grammar because there’s nothing grammatically incorrect about “You got 30 minutes.”
@WV.Hillbilly: you would think that, but you’re wrong. i delivered in a town that had a dozen pizza operations & the drivers always go where the money is good. the first place i worked at went out of business when they ran out of drivers (college town necessitated delivery). 2 others also went under before i graduated for the same reason. papa john’s poached most of the drivers b/c their demand skyrocketed & drivers were making $200+ on weeknites & upwards of a grand on weekends.
do what you want – as a customer, that’s your prerogative, but bear in mind that every action has its consequence. drivers remember bad tippers & deliver accordingly. if you don’t tip, your pizza ends up at the end of my run. i will stop for a bite to eat before i deliver it. i will fill up my car. i’ll go home & play video games for 10 minutes. i’ll stop at the bar & have a drink. then, if i haven’t forgotten the pizza (or hocked it on the street or eaten it myself), i’ll deliver it.
you leave no incentive for me to do otherwise. & your calls to complain will fall on deaf ears. my boss loves me – i make him money. for every asshat cheapskate bitching about poor service & paying with a check, there’s 100 people that tip, pay cash & rave about my service.
@mac-phisto: Try that on me and I file a chargeback for nondelivery of service. If you don’t like the damn job, find another one. It’s jerks like you who think they don’t have to do their job because customers don’t pay an optional charge on TOP OF the delivery charge and menu price that lead me to pay by credit card to protect myself. I tip — when appropriate, and in the amount appropriate. If you didn’t get one, there’s a damn good reason.
Guess what — a tip is a REWARD for good service, not an automatic payment. If you do all the crap you just bragged about, you don’t deserve a tip, and if you sell the pizza that I paid for and don’t deliver it in good condition, your employer deserves the chargeback plus chargeback fee.
@masonreloaded: ew, fairy tears!
i used to deliver pizza back when i was in college, and it was a great job. no sitting around, good tips (for the most part), and i made minimum wage on top of it. for an undergrad, it was a pretty sweet deal. unfortunately, in my third year of delivering we expanded our delivery area to a 45 minute radius, and holy god did the shitshow start. i had pizza THROWN AT ME because it was cold, i had a woman send her three kids out to call me a bad person because they were hungry, and i had a really creepy man try to lock me in his house. granted, the last is more because im a girl, but still. people, be nice to your drivers, especially if youre far from the pizza place.
@mac-phisto: Wow, you’re like a poster boy for bad customer service and how not to act!
I always tip well, because (generally) the delivery guys I deal with in Brooklyn don’t make a ton of money. But here’s the thing — good tips get me zero future benefit. Why? Maybe it’s because I rarely get the same delivery guy twice, or maybe it’s because NYC is ordinarily a black hole of customer service — I don’t know. Anyway, Domino’s is especially bad; I’ve waited two hours for a pizza, had the same order screwed up twice (although management was sincerely apologetic), and even had pizzas never get delivered. I still tip well, because I know the delivery guys are getting shafted anyway and because I’m not a jerk. But the thought that I’m getting better service accordingly is laughable.
Conversely, I know that if I stiffed the guys, it wouldn’t make any difference. What, my pizza’s going to take 130 minutes to deliver instead of 120? Oh no! And your logic is just perverse; by “punishing” the customer by delivering a pizza upside-down or taking the long way to deliver it, you’re just guaranteeing that, in fact, you’ll NEVER get a good tip because the service just keeps getting worse and worse. Why would I reward someone for being an ass?
And before 8 million NYC local pizza fans jump on me, yes, yes, I order from my local pizza shops a lot. I rarely order Domino’s, largely due to the reasons described above.
@mac-phisto:
I have had virtually no problems getting pizzas delivered.
And when I do, I call the regional office to complain. I don’t waste my time talking to the local mongoloids.
I get free pizzas out of the deal and it makes the local store look bad.
@Buran: actually, mac-phisto has a point. if you know you’re going to get stiffed somewhere, there is no incentive for you to get there quickly. you’re paying for the service of the pizza being delivered here, not the quality of the service. the quality of the service is, 99.9% of the time, determined by the willingness of the customer to RECOGNIZE good delivery service (pizza arrives hot, not 2 hours later than it was supposed to, et cetera).
I ordered from Domino’s a couple of months ago.
A) “You’ve got 30 minutes” resulted in my pizza arriving in over three times that long.
B) I wrote a letter to complain, asking for my order to be refunded. The person from Dominos corporate did nothing to resolve my complaint other than claiming to have forwarded my letter to a regional manager or whatever.
C) I got food poisoning the next day.
I’m never ordering from Dominos again.