thats right, PAGAN! funny ass sh*t! i love colbert!

sponsored report cards are bs!

I love the look on that kid's face. She knows she's going to get beat up at school when the other kids realize it's her mother's fault they don't get free Happy Meals any more.

Anywhoo, if you send your kid to a government school, don't be surprised when this kind of stuff comes up.

Although I'm not for advertising ANYTHING on a kids report card, maybe this wouldn't be such a huge deal if parents weren't feeding their kids McDonalds every day anyway. If it was given only on special occasions, like a birthday dinner or in the event of a good report card, people wouldn't have to get so bent about this shit.

i wonder what the requirements are to be able to advertise in report cards. there seems to be nothing of educational value with giving away a free happy meal. i don't even see it being any kind of reasonable incentive for good grades. when i got good grades, i got cash. that's a motivator.

this still to me is no worse than when those groups come to your kids school and try to talk them into going door to door to pawn off their overpriced crap. all so your child can win a soccer ball eraser or hacky sack. i can't believe they can get away with that crap in school either.

@snoop-blog: My work, which sells NOTHING a school-age child could want, offers a $5 gift card to anyone who makes the honor roll in town.

@snoop-blog: OH GOD I remember those things...they offered a small catalog of crappy goods, and pushed magazine subscriptions.

@snoop-blog: How about those religious organizations looking for recruits in High School. Now that shoule be illegal.

Are you trying to say YOU CREATED STEPHEN COLBERT????

@AlisonAshleigh:

"Please buy this can of stale popcorn sir, so that my school can afford that new bus we've wanted."
"How is one can of popcorn going to get you a new bus?"
"Because it costs 1200 dollars."

@laserjobs: i call those cults. i only remember colleges/army/navy, etc recruiting in my high school. i was such a shit back then, those religious groups should be glad they weren't there.

@homerjay: no conan created stephen colbert!

Oh for the love of...

I don't see what the big problem is here! I wish this issue would just die already, but no, people feel the need to protect other people from themselves...

Really, when I was a kid, McDonald's, Pizza Hut, Wendy's, Burger King, and local arcades all sponsored different schools' report cards. It was never a problem. Now people get their panties in a bind because of this bullshit.

I personally never ate at any of those places. I never liked them. And I'm now fat. I know several people who ate at those places all the time, who are skinny as a damn rail. It wasn't what we each ate, but how active we were.. I sat inside, they played outside. Now I still don't eat that stuff, but I'm more active and thus losing weight, but fast food played absolutely no part in my problem.

Really, if you don't want to go to McDonald's to get your kid their free happy meal, don't! That's fine. But forming protest groups? Really? .....really?

@AlisonAshleigh: agreed. those coupons come in handy for a birthday or something.

seriously, suing a company for being fat? how about the company suing the customer who sues for having no self discipline?

maybe fast food should denying customers people for being too fat...like bars do when you're too drunk. let's see how they "appreciate the help"

@Shadowfire: or maybe they accidentally ate tape worm along the way Lolz

LOL I'm sitting here watching the video, as my five year old son is sitting next to me playing on his computer. And he notices this video about McDonalds on my screen. And then he sees Pagan destroy the McDonalds sign with her laser eyes. And he asks me "Why does she want to destroy McDonalds?"

Why, oh why indeed Ms. Pagan? :)

@AlisonAshleigh: hahaha... if I took my preschooler to McDonald's for a special treat, she'd pitch a fit (we've spoiled her with delicious burger places like Five Guys). That being said, she's a sucker for idiotic cheap useless toys, so the Happy Meal concept is right up her alley.

I have a feeling that if (when?) she comes home with a reward like this on her report card, it will probably end up being ignored until it expires -- at which point we'll be happy to instead come up with some other reward which doesn't force US to go to McDonald's too.

@pfeng: My grandmother always cooked these outrageous old lady portuguese dinners, and all my friends would come to school with happy meal toys when I brought in leftover blood pudding. My grandfather had to sneak me out for a Mcdonalds lunch on weekends, so I always BEGGED for it for my birthday.

@pfeng: Also, can I just say, while I don't like meat in general (I have no issues with killing animals, I just hate the taste) I would much rather have a mcdonalds cheeseburger over anything from a so-called "gourmet" burger place, like red robin.

This lady needs to get a life.

When I was in school, we used to either get free McDonald's or free Pizza Hut personal pizza for doing well in school.

I feel like some of these people that get outraged just do it to be attention whores so they can be on TV and their otherwise mundane lives would seem important.

My junior high once did one of those fundraisers that was somewhat successful. They had us selling chocolate Santas and other forms of candy, and a lot of product was moved in the quest for ridiculous prizes. Me, I just bought a couple for personal consumption, because the prizes were crap. However, the school made a rather large mistake when it came to distributing. They handed out the candy during the school day, and student lockers were simply not large enough to hold all the product some of the students had ordered, and many boxes of candy ended up on top of the lockers. Add to that the fact that many seventh and eighth graders are nebulous on the concept of property rights, and the whole thing ended up as a giant sugar-fueled orgy of theft by lunchtime.

@AlisonAshleigh: !! my portuguese grandma would send me to school with linquica sandwiches and watercress soup - i totally feel your pain. but just out of curiousity - why would you rather eat mcdonalds over red robin? i dont eat at these restaurants either, but if i had to choose id go for the one where they wait on you and you get free refills on your french fries!!

@TheUncleBob: The local Catholic HS is sponsored all over the place. Luckily the public high schools have been able to resist the advertising creep.

Do they really want to ban advertising targeted at kids? If it weren't for the massive capitalist marketing bombardment I received as a young child (my parents are immigrants, I learned to speak English by watching television...literally) I would not be as well versed in corporate marketing strategies and tactics as I am today. Watching ads as a kid taught me a lot about how companies work...why they spend money to advertise, why they target certain audiences, why I never saw commercials for toys on anything other than Nickelodian...there's a lot to be learned, and we shouldn't ban advertising just because some of the dumber kids are easily brainwashed.

@bohemian: Yes - but if you disagree with what the private school is doing, you can easily pull your kid out and stop funding the school.

Try pulling your kid out of public school and stop funding it... let me know how successful you are.

@yesteryear: Oh god the linguica...I can't even LOOK at it now. That and kale soup, which should be OUTLAWED.

Well, I haaaaaaaaaaaate big beefy meat patties, and thats what they have at red robin. They also season it with a pretty strong mix of garlic, pepper, salt, etc, and it's a bit much. They tend to not cook it very well though on top of it. I know the calorie count is probably the same, if not worse with fast food, but I'd rather grab a small cheeseburger I can actually eat, and know how its going to taste, rather than a HUGE heavily seasoned cow leg.

And the fries...eh. They're always a little limp.

I have no problem with McDonald's offering free food for good grades -- a lot of companies do this. However, it shouldn't be advertised on the actual report card. Why can't McDonald's put signs up in their stores or in their other advertisements? Is it because only regular patrons of McDonald's would see it and they wouldn't lure in new customers pressured by their child's desire fueled by the advertisement on their official school document? This is an ad, plain and simple. It has no place on a report card.

I just had a few tense words with my son's teacher about something similar to this. They send home a "reading log" every month, where you are supposed to mark off each day that you spend reading to your child for 15 minutes, then turn it in. Then they give you a certificate for a free pizza from Pizza Hut - woohoo. My problemS with this: First, it's junk food. Second, it's corporate sponsorship of my child's school work. Third, I don't need a free pizza to motivate me to read to my child. When chided via a note in his backpack for not participating, I said, "I've been reading to my child every day for the past 5 years." (He is 5-1/2.) And signed it and sent it back. Don't get me started on all the propaganda and advertising they send home in his backpack every day. One of these weeks I'm going to save it and take a picture of it to put on my blog with a rant.

Everyone is missing the obvious on this issue. Mcdonalds is basically doing the same thing the biz world has done since it started mass education. Preparing its work force. This is Seminole County Florida where this happened, The Orlando area, key word being "FLORIDA." less than half of the students in school in Florida will graduate. By far the largest employer in Florida is the service industry, most of these kids that graduate and most of the ones who don't will end up working for the Rathouse or Mcdonalds and its ilk. Bottom line in Florida is you have 2 choices, "Right to Work" at the fryer, or Crime. (Guess which choice seems to be more popular?)

When I was in elementary school we had the Pizza Hut Book It! program. If you read so many books you would get a free personal pan pizza. I loved it. It got me to read books, and a few times a year I could get my own personal pizza. My family would rarely order out, so when we did it was a fun treat.

I don't understand what the big deal is. If you don't want your kids to eat the Happy Meal then don't take them there.

@Sherryness:

It's people like you that really do just need to shut up already. Back when I was little and in elementary school we had "Book It" where the kids would get free personal pan pizzas for reading a certain amount of books.

Now, I was always an avid reader anyway, and still am, so I hardly needed this incentive. But where do you get off whining about whatever incentive is chosen? You don't want to use it? Fine, don't use it. But take all your ranting and "anti commercialism" crap and shove it.

No one likes crusading soccer moms like you. It's that entire mentality that makes America such a crappy society. Leave the damn teacher out of it and let her do what she wants to entice children to read when their parents aren't contributing to it.

And guess what: It's school, the kid's going to have to participate in crappy stuff some times. Just don't use the damn certificate if you don't want it, but make him do the reading. All you're teaching him is several years down the line, he gets a college assignment he doesn't like, just come whine to mommy about it and she'll take care of everything. Ugh.

@Kia:
Because it is not OPTIONAL. I chose not to participate this whole time, and was told (via a chiding note in his backpack this month) that this was what they use to keep track of how much reading is done at home.

I never once complained about it until it became MANDATORY - and it doesn't even have to do with homework.

That's my problem with it. By the way, maybe they should have concentrated more on manners than book-reading in your particular case. Telling someone to "shut up already," especially when you obviously didn't read my post very thoroughly, is incredibly rude.

@Kia:
You really do need to go back and re-read my post. It's for ME to mark off every day when I read to my child for 15 minutes which, as I stated, I already do anyway. I don't need a pizza as an incentive.

I'm all for helping children understand that there is a payoff to learning, but it doesn't have to do with handing them a pizza.

I'm also the furthest from a soccer mom you'll find. LOL I think I actually scare all of the other parents because I don't care to participate in all of this stupid crap that has nothing to do with truly learning (they obviously concentrated on quantity over actual comprehension in your case).

Somehow I managed to get through school without a doggie treat thrown to me every time I got an answer right. And you know what, I have a love for learning to this day, because I learn to satisfy my curiosity. Which is immense.

@Sherryness: So... you have a problem with a school making it mandatory for your kid to read outside of school?

@TheUncleBob: I believe the problem is with Big Brother wanting a record.
What did Johnny read today? He read "Mein Kampf" and seemed to enjoy it.

Ooooo, reading is eeeeeevil.

Seriously, lighten up here. You all are clogging up the intertubes with these bad vibes and such.

I do, the same way I have a problem with my college making it mandatory for me to go to the gym. If it's so important, how about you take the $300 I pay you for every credit hour and find a way to fit it into class time?

I'm nuts about literacy and it sucks that many parents aren't, but you pay taxes and I pay tuition for educators to take care of this shit on their time. And I know teachers are overworked and school systems are stretched, but that's for districts, not corporations, to handle [refrains from NCLB rant]. Dangling a 90-steer patty from a stick is kind of insulting.

With regards to poor Sue, I'd have a real problem with it if she were asking for anything but less logos all over her kid's world. Has she filed a frivolous lawsuit? Has she demanded that McDonald's close? Did she have a parade? Lastly, does offering chow for grades really encourage academic excellence for its own sake any more than it encourages fixation on those yummy French Fries and adorable mini-Barbies?

@Kia: And I'm sure her kid being called out as the only one not doing the assignment is going to make him happy too. Everyone else gets their free pizza, and he gets a crazy note from his mom to his teacher ranting and raving about christ knows what. Lucky kid!

Seriously, suck it up and fill out the form. That poor kid is probably distraught that he's not finishing 'his' homework, even though its his moms to fill out. Being a kid is hard enough, why make it any tougher? Its one pizza, chill.

@Sherryness:

If you don't want the free pizza, give the certificate to another family that's not as well to do so at least they can have the food.

I can't imagine what other aspects of your home life are like considering you've "bought" all the health nuts propaganda.

(Also: I grew up reading because we had always had shelves full of cool books and no cable. Harsh but effective, IMHO.)

@Hawk07: Thats actually a really great alternative, and would teach the kid a great lesson. Good idea!

@TheUncleBob:
No, I have a problem with the school making it mandatory that I participate in a corporate-sponsored Pizza incentive. Also, if you'll read this, it had to with me reading to him - not him reading. As I said, I don't need a pizza to motivate me to read to my child. So now I have to mark off 30/31 X's for a month, give it to my child to turn in, then they say, "Good dog, Fido! You get a pizza!" Then I have to try to explain to a 5-year-old why we're throwing the coupon away.

@AlisonAshleigh:
Right, I'll just turn him into a sheep instead of stimulating his brain and his curiosity. "Read Book. Get pizza. Read book. Get pizza. Read book. Get pizza...."

God I love the Consumerist so much and that clip was great...

Then I read what was written and immediately lost that good feeling I had. Why does every Gawker site insist on saying they some influence on these outrageous things. I've seen it countless times on a number of their sites.

@Hawk07:
We have pizza, but it's certainly not along the lines of once a month. If you're going to reward my child, give him an orange. And one that doesn't have advertising on it. Oh, and how about complimenting him on the fact that he loves to read and doesn't need to be goading into doing it.

Mmm useless plastic toys...

I mean...OUTRAGE! RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION DAMMIT!

@Sherryness: I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that the point isn't to turn children into mindless pizza sheep, but to encourage kids who don't like reading that much, but do like pizza (and lets face it, what kid doesn't?) to realize reading is FUN. There are plenty of parents who DON'T read to their kids, and this way they can make sure all of the kids are getting something read to them. I'm pretty sure I started out reading because of a program like this (the reward was an ice cream party, if i remember correctly) and twenty something years later, I'm still reading 3-6 books a week.
But GOD FORBID they feed a few kids pizza, it's totally programs like this that cause obesity. And not, you know, parents who don't care enough to cook (...or read a book to their kids) and would rather feed them junk every night, and plop them in front of a Wii.

I seriously don't see what the problem is. The parents still have the option of not allowing their children to redeem the happy meal.

What's more, deals such as this one are putting much needed money back into the school systems. Our public schools are so terrible that they need every penny they can get (although how they spend it is another matter).

If parents are so upset about this, then they should work harder so they can afford to send their kids to a private school where they'll get a real education. I'd home school my kids before I'd ever send them to public school.

Personally, I don't think the student's report card is a place for any sort of corporate advertising. Outside the class room the parents should have a right to decide which forms of encouragement, and reward are appropriate. This is what is being said. However, I do agree that some parents have to suck it up, and teach their children that they have to do the same. It's really the same lesson as why the neighbours have a X-Box and our family doesn't.

Great superman 2 reference at the end of the show clip.