Bra Seller Tells Customer To Get A Breast Reduction
If there's one thing this writer has learned over the years, it's to never tell a woman to get breast reduction surgery. It's rude, insulting, and can quite possibly get you kneed in the groin, slapped, pushed into a train, cut out of the will, and so on. But apparently the salesperson at Penningtons—sort of a Canadian Lane Bryant—didn't get that memo. "North of 49" writes:
I'm a woman of "ample girth" but still have a figure. At 226lbs, I have a 38J cup. We're getting married on leap day and I have had issues with bra shopping before. So I went to "Penningtons," an above average store that should have had bras in my size. They didn't.
Here's part of the email she sent to Penningtons' corporate offices:
I'm a bride to be and will be married on the 29th of this month. I am searching for a bra to wear with my dress and entered your store. First off, there was only one woman out on the floor, the other two were hiding in the back. I had to go to the woman at the cash registers and ask for help in order to get any.We think the response from Penningtons was a step in the right direction, but it did little to make the customer feel better about what happened:The next part really hurt. Although she wanted to sell me a bra, she realized that at 38J, your store doesn't have any in my size or even near my size. In the ensuing conversation, she told me that I should have a reduction.
I have been on a waiting list since my now 5 and a half year old son was 10 months old. I was told that I would have to wait half a year or more after my children finally stop nursing before I could have a reduction. My youngest is 16 months and won't be giving up nursing anytime soon. This is entirely besides the point anyway, what she said was offensive and insulting to say the least.
To tell a customer to "get a reduction" when not only is day in question less than a month away, 20 days in fact, but to even suggest it is absurd and insulting. It has left me in tears and I will never walk through your store doors again no matter how good the sale seems.
It is hard enough to go bra hunting without being humiliated once again because the sizer thinks they know better. Or worse, to suggest that my body is inconvenient to them so I should change it surgically for their convenience.
Thanks a lot, Penningtons. Don't expect me to shop there anytime soon. And I will let all my friends know about how I was told to get a reduction.
We appreciate your comments as they are important to us.Okay, not that part. That part sounds fake. But it gets slightly better:
As you know, we pride ourselves in our customer service; therefore, we are very disappointed to hear that you had an unsatisfactory shopping experience in one of our stores.The customer points out that she had to sign up to their website to reach customer service, so they should have her personal info and know that there's only one Penningtons in her area. However, we were able to find their contact info on their website without registering so we're not sure their CSRs have access to personal account data.The Director of Sales & Operations along with the District Sales Manager of this particular region needs to be advised in order to coach the employee in question to ensure that the service level meets our high standards.
Please provide us the store that this happened.
We hope to see you again in our stores.
I know this is not the reason you sent the email, but I would like to congratulate you on your upcoming wedding. I hope you have a beautiful day!
So to "North of 49," we suggest you continue to communicate with the CSR who originally responded to you, and make it clear that you don't think this salesperson should be making such suggestions to customers. Their email seems halfway between a stock response and a sincere attempt to solve the problem, so do what you can to tip the scales in favor of "sincere attempt."
The best thing you can do with this situation is work with Penningtons to make sure they properly train their staff to avoid future incidents like yours; the worst is to come across as someone who can't be pleased, because then they might disregard the very real problem you encountered.
(Photo: Getty)
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Comments:
but on a more serious note, thats not very nice....nor appropriate.
Oh, my God. Poor girl. Fuck them.
Wow, what a highly inappropriate thing for anyone to say let alone someone working in retail.
Do they sell that particular size but didn't have it in stock? They don't carry that size? If they carry it wouldn't checking with other stores or offer to have the item overnight shipped be a good faith option?
The tear in the space-time continuum occurs in the women's underwear department. The media pushes the idea that the ideal female figure is thin with big boobs. Yet the fashion industry sells nothing anywhere near fitting that.
@vr4z06gt: The insensitive part of me wants to burst out laughing at that (and honestly, it did).
But still, there was no reason why the employee should tell her she needs a breast reduction. Why can't she just say "sorry we don't carry that" and end it the easier way?
Huh. I got that from a saleswoman in...Macy's? Nordstroms? One of those stores back when I was 16 or so. I've gotten enough comments of that nature that I just ignored it though.
For the person who sent that in, if you're still having problems finding a bra, there's a few good online stores that carry at least up to an H-cup. I've had good luck at biggerbras.com, and bravissimo.com has some amazing bras, though I'm too poor to pay the shipping and conversion fees at the moment. They might have whatever style you need, though. Other than that, you can look for a custom corset maker and order a bra from them. Custom, over the bust corsets are surprisingly supportive and comfortable, and if you need something strapless, that's probably your best bet. You're awfully short on time though, so good luck!
I would think that someone who needs bras of this size would know where to get them.
huh.. I didn't think they'd go with "Anon" since I signed my email "North of 49."
I won't buy a bra site unseen. I have to try them on first. That's when it starts to get pricey. I'd love a corset but, yah, when the day in question is, 10 days away, getting a custom corset won't work.
Anyway, I got a call from Pennington's today. Some upper management woman who has offered me a gift certificate for the insult. I don't even know if I'll walk through that door again. The salesperson I talked to in the store originally was actually the manager. I don't think it was done out of malice or spite, but to try to be helpful. The problem is that even if I had the surgery tonight, it would be months of healing. I'll wait.
Anyway, Walmart usually has bras that will work, even if they aren't perfect. That and duct tape. My bride's maids have threatened to duct tape me into my dress.
I was actually lucky. I found a dress that fit me off the rack. That almost never happens!
@HalOfBorg: It really depends on the type of bra she's wanting. If it's just an everyday bra it's probably not too hard to find - but if she wants something nice, or special (strapless or the like) it'll be harder.
38J. Hmm. Nope Penningtons wouldn't have that. BiggerBras.com maybe. But not strapless (tops out at 38G). The sales rep was quite rude. Hardly Canadian at all.
@North of 49: I can't remember the whole thread now, but if you have the time check out this post about finding larger sized bras.
Doesn't the store realize sending you a gift certificate when then don't carry your size is kind of silly?
And congratulations on your wedding!
Heh, you're doing your fiance a favor. He has 3 extra years to remember each anniversary. :)
So, I have sympathy. Or empathy. Or whatever it is when I feel bad for someone else's misery.
But, if you are 38J you are probably talking a mail order bra. It's not like you're just slightly big at a J cup.
[www.85b.org]
Let's see, A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, H, I, & J
At an inch a cup, that's 10.6-11.5 inch difference between waist and biggest part. That's a very big bosom. Considering probably 95% of women come between A and D, we're talking very far outside of the curve.
Buy a range on the internet and return the ones that don't fit. You're a multisigma bra customer. Doesn't ease the pain, or the sales person's stupidity, but would save you trouble.
@HalOfBorg: Sooo...once you find one place to get a particular item you should never see if they have it anywhere else? Good thinking there. You obviously have never heard of "comparison shopping."
@Moosehawk: @Adam Hyland: Guys (definitely guys, not gals) that insensitive and rude comments. You wouldn't laugh if it would concern your big/small balls.
I think the salesperson was trying to be helpful, not insulting. It's probably true that a reduction would help you a lot. My cousin had a reduction and it was a wonderful choice. Her back pain is gone, she can wear normal clothes, and she looks much better.
And, am I the only person who think that waiting until only a few weeks before your wedding to find the right bra is a bit last-minute?
can we get a nude picture... just to like, understand this better? i'm kidding! i actually feel your pain -- literally. a few years ago, after having horrible pains on my left side for months, i finally went to see my doctor and he told me i needed to get a different bra. i was furious. i was ready to file a complaint, but first i tried getting different type of bra and it turns out he was right! my male GP knew more about bra sizing than all of the women in the macy's lingerie department. unfortunately not everyone working in a shop like that is an expert. sorry to hear about the crappy way they treated you. :(
That's really awful, it's just not the salespersons place to say anything like that about your body. So not an appropriate comment, what could she have been thinking? Even trying to be helpful, that's a bold statement to make to someone you know well!
Bra shopping sucks, I realize I'm lucky enough to be able to just grab what I think my size is and that's good enough and that's still the most effort I really want to put into it.
Telling someone they need surgery, especially a total stranger, is not helpful by any means.
And some weddings are planned in a short time period. Not all weddings are massive galas requiring years of preparation.
And Pennington's bra selection stinks. Very small range of sizes.
@brookeln: How is suggesting a surgery helpful when she's clearly looking to buy a bra? It's like recommending someone buy a refrigerator when they ask to buy an ice cream cone.
So if stores don't carry someone's size in pants, they suggest gastric bypass, or a height-reduction surgery? It just seems somewhat out of line, coming from an employee.
Last minute or not, this customer came into a store looking for a product, and instead of getting a simple yes or no answer, was not attended to and was then embarrassed. Unacceptable.
That's really unfortunate...but, on a brighter note, I've never been so happy about being flat-chested.
@brookeln:
You may or may not be the only one thinking it, but you're the only one who thinks it's ok to say it, apparently.
A shop owner of my acquaintance made an Ex-Customer For Life (later heard the story from the shopper) because the customer mentioned that she had 6 kids, and the owner said "better you than me, honey", and then "why so many?".
I'll admit that the same thoughts crossed my mind, but I kinda know better than to blurt them out, and I don't even consider myself particularly tactful! However - maybe we all need to give each other a bit of a stupidity pass now and again, EVEN where "ambassadorship" is kinda implicit to the job title. It is the rare person who never, EVER inserts foot in mouth. Particularly when there is at least the outside chance that Stupid Comment was meant in kindness. (North of 49 does - admirably - acknowledge that possibility.)
Also, and I know this as someone with a family member who is very tall and overweight as well: with some garments and sizes, you just have to suck it up and catalogue order from a specialty retailer. (Though it bugs me that he could buy off the rack if he was the same height but skinnier or even a head shorter and MUCH wider.)
Pic or it didnt happen!
I guess the point some folks are missing, is that she is nursing- so there is that milk to consider- increasing the "normal" size. Although, admittedly that is still large pre- milk...
@meanwalrus18: Wow, just wow. While I fully support trying to make America more health-concious and combat the health problems related to obesity, I SERIOUSLY doubt that you /or/ a salesperson being downright rude is going to help anything at all but your own pathetic ego.
There is no reason for the salesperson to have suggested that... There are a million better ways to handle the situation than that.
I think she shouldn't go to a department store. I even had problem shopping for a cup A at VS. She should have gone to a Bra Shop or like someone mentioned above, look up for a bra store online. For the rest, this woman had bee already offended, so stop commenting irresponsibly.
Like most things context is important. If the sales rep(manager) blurts out first response to "Do you have this size in stock" the comment "You need a reduction" then I can not only sympathize I would help get the lynch :) . On the other hand if this came up after some candid comments being made and it was made as more of a "Well you might always run into trouble finding that size in stores, have you considered other options... reduction, custom order etc..." Then I think there is some room to live and learn.
Regardless I feel for you so close to your wedding trying to get everything in order. When my wife and I were in the home stretch it seemed like everything was loading up at once. Good luck to you.
@meanwalrus18: You don't deserve to post comments in here if they are not related to the story. Whatever you bad experience is with people who are oversize shouldn't be posted in here. The story is about an inappropriate comment made by a stranger to a customer. If she shops or not at Wal-Mart, Do you care? Are you the clerk who offended her? Maybe...
MEANWALRUS18 is no longer among the ranks of the comment-enabled, so we'll just have to warm our hearts with the memories of his unbelievably stupid and trollish comments.
Maybe he was just testing to see if a moderator was actually awake?
I have a similar, if not quite so outrageous, story.
I'm a sturdy little 36DD. Small chest, big woopsies, but not yet into the specialty ranges ... quite. [Give this grandmother a few more hot flashes, and maybe.]
Shopping Victoria's Secret, who USED to have a small but lifesaving stock of my bra size in my local outlet, I began to run into problems a couple of years ago.
Used to be, I could poke my nose into the deep dark recesses of the pink-striped drawers, and find the four or five bras in my size. I'd do a quick try-on, and usually two or three of them followed me home. Then I could order sisters for the survivors online, and we'd all be happy for the next year or so.
Well, my retail outlet took a turn for the worse, or worse-endowed, about two years ago. The bigger sizes got hard, hard and harder to find.
The sales staff got younger, less educated about the product line, and finally, more obnoxious.
Last time I ventured into the place was about a year ago. When accosted by the flat-chested child manning the cash register, I asked for directions to the 36DDs. "Do you want a minimizer?" asked the little twit.
"No, just directions to the drawers holding that size," I answered.
Whereupon I was told that if I wanted that size, I'd have to shop online.
Huh? How ARE we to get fitted, VS?
No offense, but a 36DD needs a bit more than catalog copy to get fitted for a foundation garment. By chasing me out of the store, VS lost a very, very loyal customer.
Well, if I could do the mailorder, I would. But we've got 10 days to go. I've been given the names of two specialty shops, but they are a bit out of my way. I still say duct tape is the way to go. ;)
Damn!
that was one harsh walrus
Oh, and thanks to all the cool Consumeristas who brought the Walrus to my attention with comment flags.
There's no Vicy's here. There is "La Vie En Rose" (I've found underwear there) and a few other places, but Pennington's is supposed to be for the amply endowed. They should have had something nearer my size than what other stores had - I had tried on some 20 bras at different stores that day and found a couple that were close, but wouldn't last long.
That's my problem - do I buy something that will do for the day, or something that will do me good?
One other thing I forgot to mention, when the person phoned me today, I suggested a cup bra that you can get from England. Its silicone and is designed for larger breasts. I plan on ordering some when our income tax comes back.
Thursday and Friday, I get to go bra shopping at the specialty stores. I'll try the more local one first and then the one that has been recommended later.
and before I forget, thank you mods! you rock!
@North of 49: I have problems getting a 34 A at some stores, they either make them a bit bigger or smaller (not a true size). So, Finding a size over the "regular range" must be so hard. So I wish you the best in your quest for the perfect bra. I know, We girl must find the right one fr our girls ;-)@Consumerist Moderator - ACAMBRAS: I never like to take credits, but I flagged this guy also. but I dislike people who are just fooling around. Glad you were awake and ready to kick out this bad Walrus
PS. sorry about missing words, my keyboard (apple) is not working 100%
Breast reduction? Thats like slapping god in the face for giving you an awesome gift.
"My youngest is 16 months and won't be giving up nursing anytime soon."
Err, lady, if the kid can eat solid foods, he's old enough to get milk from a bottle.
I think your children might be old enough that breast milk is no longer necessary.
i would think back problems would be higher on your list of complaints, honestly at that size they have to have substantial mass.