–> A man in Virginia who apparently likes to record suspicious phone calls captured a very funny 10-minute talk with the world’s clumsiest phisher who called his house trying to get his bank account number. His local news station reports, “Howard says he recorded it because he wanted to help people by putting it on the news.”
We love this call partly because of the war of accents, with Howard Beasley’s slow Virginia drawl going head-to-head against what sounds like a young Indian man— we like to pretend Howard is a cartoon basset hound and the phisher is a cartoon weasel.
Howard Beasley told the caller he was being recorded, but the man didn’t hang up.
The caller said, “I’m a representative of the United States Banking commission and by mistake we took $481 out of your checking account.”, says Howard Beasley.
Howard Beasley started recording.
Howard: The government cannot take money out of your account. So I know this is nothing but a scam.
For ten minutes, an extremely persistent man tried everything he could think of to get Howard’s account number, the man said to give back the money.
Caller: What’s your bank account number?
Howard: If you got it out, you’ve got the number.
Caller: Please verify me your account number.
Howard: No way.
Caller: Please verify me your account number.
Howard: No way.
Caller: You don’t want the money? You don’t want your money?
Howard: I don’t want to be scammed.
Caller: Sir, you are not a scam. You have no right to talk to me like that.
Howard: I can tell you to take the $480 dollars and shove it up your *** that’s what I can tell you.The tape continues to roll as the caller spits out Howard’s address and threatens to pay him an unwelcome visit.
Caller: I’m just coming within two days with two FBI agents, OK.
Howard: Well, you come down here with two FBI agents.
Howard: I’ll have them same two FBI agents on you.
Caller: OK, you just wait and watch. I’m coming within two days.
Howard: Well, you bring ‘em here. I’ve got a 357. I’ll put your name on it.
Another brilliant moment: about three and a half minutes in, his wife calls out, “Who are you talking to!?” right after he tells the guy he has a 357. Then she starts yelling at the scammer that her husband has a heart condition. We’re pretty sure the scammer had no idea what he was in for when he called this number.
(Thanks to Nicole!)
“Scam Scanner” [WSLS]
(Photos: Weasel: graham; Hounds: Chrys Omori and C Maranon; Goose: ~Sage~)
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@DoctorMD: If someone calls you, it is okay to record them. Like linda tripp.
@MeMikeYouNot: I get those too. They want you to launder fraudulent checks.
Look forward to the day when I can turn off the mail aliases.
I got the same exact kind of call from someone with a very similar sounding voice, except my call really was from a guy with the United States Banking Commission. Luckily, I had my checking account number handy so that I could get my money back!
Oh my gosh, that is a classic southern Virginia accent. Much different from the Richmond drawl, though. Neither of the links on the WSLS website point to all 10 minutes of the audio though.
But the clip they include in the report is enough.
I wonder if Howard is really a graduate of VT…
Geez I can’t belief the scammer stayed on the line that long arguing with him. It was obvious early on he wasn’t going to get anywhere.
WTF is the “United States Banking Commission” supposed to be anyhow? Man, is the FDIC gonna be mad when they find out there’s someone else out there muscleing in on their gig.
@cunnij98: Down there, everyone is either a VT fan or a UVA fan, so it doesn’t matter whether you went there or not, there are die-hard allegiances.
To be fair, it was probably that guy’s first day at the (scam) office, where his instructions were to ask for the number and “be insistent” if the called person refused. He clearly hasn’t got a clue.
Sometimes I deal with scammers if I’m bored. I was on a long car ride once, going through my mail and get one that says I’m entered into a contest and I need to call to verify. Well I got nothing better to do and how often can you be completely full of shit with someone and not feel bad about it. Plus I like taking up their time. Spent 25 min on the phone with this guy. After verifying my name and addr. he tried to find out what my ‘interests’ were if I won the money. Long story short, he was selling magazine subscriptions and he finally gave up when I was only interested in mags about heroin and prostitutes.
Also emailing back Nigerian scammers is LOADS of fun.
@clevershark: intimidating and threatening someone that you are going to come to their house and arrest them because they won’t give you their bank account # and call you a scammer doesn’t sound that green to me. Douchey yes, but not naive.
@backbroken: Ha!
Great googly moogly, what’s with the streaming WMA file? I gave up after the third time it choked and had to re-buffer. Low bitrate or not, can’t the news station just post an mp3 as a static download? This sort of stuff is just bush-league.
Howard Beasley is my hero. He may not sound like it. But the guy was smart enough to record the conversation and KNOW that there is no such thing as the United States banking comission. He also knows that the feds can’t take money out of your account without due process.
A .357? Indians don’t understand that term unless they watched some Dirty Harry movies. You cut to the chase and tell’em that you got your Webley .380 revolver out and just got done closing it up on 6 full chambers *Ker-CHUNK!*.
They’ll drop their curry and hang up in a big hurry.
@FilthyHarry:
I’m with you. The most fun is to play along like you’re interested but get dumber & dumber as the conversation goes on. “I’m sorry, I still don’t understand, can you explain this one more time?” Let it drag on for as long as you can stand then drop the bomb on them!
@MrEvil: The best part is that he has a heavy Southern accent especially since people like to think “heavy Southern accent” = “dumb hick”.
Of course, I don’t know if people in India hold that assumption but it’s more fun to think the scammer thought he had an easy mark.
Howard Beasley is my new hero. Classic!!!
And yes, many people are fooled by the Southern drawl. I deal with it all the time. Not sure if someone in India would think so but it’s fun to think they thought he would be an easy mark.
Is it just me or did I hear American Idol music in the background? That lady just sounds like an Idol fan.
LOL I would have told him a lot worse then this southern gentleman said. The Indian on the other line would fear for his wife’s honor after I spoke with him.
You can’t make this shit up!
@mistaketv: Not just you. I heard it too.
MeMikeYouNot: I get those all the time. Several per day. They just go right into my spam folder.
@DoctorMD:
he told him he was recording and he doesn’t need the consent as long as one party being recorded is fine with it
Howard and his wife are awesome!
“I’ve got a .357 with your name on it”
“You don’t know what ‘Sue’ is.. you probably think it is a girl next door.”
@MrEvil: i agree! i like this guy because he was right on it.
@DoctorMD: Not every jurisdiction requires consent nor notification.
I swear to you we aren’t all like that in Virginia…
This was on the 11 p.m. news yesterday. If you’re in Southern Virginia, I would definitely check out this station’s 11 p.m. broadcast. It’s the best reality tv I’ve ever seen.
It’s classic when one of the lead stories is “skunk bites local woman.”
I bet the US Banking Commission is in the same building as the International Drainage Commission (in Springfield!).
@lucidpsyche: Yeah, Roanoke and Lynchburg are pretty low-risk areas to live in…the biggest issue is usually someone got bit by a skunk/squirrel/dog.
@RagingTowers: It’s true, we’re not all like that!
I got a call from a 5 digit number yesterday from some Indian guy that wanted to direct deposit the $600 gov’t refund into my account. I asked him if he could mail me a check instead and he put me on hold for 15 minutes (checking back every once in a while to see if I was still on the line) and hung up.
Please stop linking to local eyewitness news’ websites. Their video/audio content almost never works.
He informed the caller several times he was being recorded- duh! That’s all he has to do- he has no basis to sue him. The scammer could have hung up at anytime.@DoctorMD:
Some phishers never get the msg that the would-be victims know the game.
YOU KICK MY DOG! YOU KNOW DAMN RIGHT!
@UpsetPanda: That is a real southern drawl.
Lucky for me I live up in the great place called NoVA (Northern Virginia)
.
@RagingTowers: Same, we are all not like that, though that may be more prevalent in certain areas.
@UpsetPanda:
We’re definitely not all like that. He was brilliant. I’m a Virginian by way of Texas…so if the scammer had called me he would have gotten a similar reaction.
And as for skunks biting people…that’s a rabies problem because skunks usually spray you away if they’re healthy! I know been sprayed before. I don’t recommend it. I didn’t find it one bit funny! Fortunately, I was in a camping tent and the tent took most of the hit. My house has been sprayed by skunks before, too.
Too bad Howard didn’t have a smell-a-phone! LOL!!
@JohnOB1: I thought of that too!
@JohnOB1: @macinjosh: LOL…so did I!
Maybe if Howard had told the dude that he wanted to reward the scammer for his generosity with $100. All that is required is the bank account # and account pin.
Would’ve resulted in a way shorter call and possibly less interesting one as well.
Why is this even funny? Some cretin (and his wife) burns 10 minutes on the fone with another cretin and somehow it’s funny. Please.
The longer I listen to this the more stupider I am getting.
@BugMeNot2: Depends completely what US state the recording parrty is in- statea re either one or tow party- federal reservations are one party – military bases and indian reservations etc.
@JohnOB1: YOUR DAUGHTER KICK MY DOG! YOU FUCKING GUY!
Funny stuff.
One great part that is so funny is that the scammer trys to says he is with the government and they “accidently” took money out of the guy’s account, but yet needs his account number…
Oh jesus, no one gives a shit about whether or not it was legal to record the call.
Anyway, that was hilarious. Reminded me of what I’d liked to do a million years ago when AOL password phishers ran rampant: promise them I would disclose my password after they provided me with their QXR number, telling them that all AOL employees have a QXR number. It was great fun the way some of them would come up with dozens of strings of random numbers, which of course I’d proclaim as wrong. Or string them along with “No, that’s your AMR code, I need your QXR number.”
I couldn’t listen all the way through b/c the accents were driving me crazy, but I found this line from the transcript funny: “Sir, you are not a scam. You have no right to talk to me like that.”
In most states, all you have to tell them is that you are recording the conversation. If they don’t hang up, that’s consent.
Some form of “Howard Beasley” needs to become slang for owning phishers.
Can I get a Hallelujah!