Man Records Phishing Call

You're not gettin' mah account number! –> A man in Virginia who apparently likes to record suspicious phone calls captured a very funny 10-minute talk with the world’s clumsiest phisher who called his house trying to get his bank account number. His local news station reports, “Howard says he recorded it because he wanted to help people by putting it on the news.”

We love this call partly because of the war of accents, with Howard Beasley’s slow Virginia drawl going head-to-head against what sounds like a young Indian man— we like to pretend Howard is a cartoon basset hound and the phisher is a cartoon weasel.

Howard Beasley told the caller he was being recorded, but the man didn’t hang up.

The caller said, “I’m a representative of the United States Banking commission and by mistake we took $481 out of your checking account.”, says Howard Beasley.

Howard Beasley started recording.

Howard: The government cannot take money out of your account. So I know this is nothing but a scam.

For ten minutes, an extremely persistent man tried everything he could think of to get Howard’s account number, the man said to give back the money.

Caller: What’s your bank account number?
Howard: If you got it out, you’ve got the number.
Caller: Please verify me your account number.
Howard: No way.
Caller: Please verify me your account number.
Howard: No way.
Caller: You don’t want the money? You don’t want your money?
Howard: I don’t want to be scammed.
Caller: Sir, you are not a scam. You have no right to talk to me like that.
Howard: I can tell you to take the $480 dollars and shove it up your *** that’s what I can tell you.

The tape continues to roll as the caller spits out Howard’s address and threatens to pay him an unwelcome visit.

Caller: I’m just coming within two days with two FBI agents, OK.
Howard: Well, you come down here with two FBI agents.
Howard: I’ll have them same two FBI agents on you.
Caller: OK, you just wait and watch. I’m coming within two days.
Howard: Well, you bring ‘em here. I’ve got a 357. I’ll put your name on it.

Another brilliant moment: about three and a half minutes in, his wife calls out, “Who are you talking to!?” right after he tells the guy he has a 357. Then she starts yelling at the scammer that her husband has a heart condition. We’re pretty sure the scammer had no idea what he was in for when he called this number.

(Thanks to Nicole!)

“Scam Scanner” [WSLS]
(Photos: Weasel: graham; Hounds: Chrys Omori and C Maranon; Goose: ~Sage~)

Comments

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  1. “Howard: Well, you bring ‘em here. I’ve got a 357. I’ll put your name on it.”

    I love this so much.

  2. I wish the audio was better. It takes awhile, but you get used to the scammers accent and can understand him better.

  3. Does anyone know what these people would say if you laughed in their face when they told you they took 400 out of your account and there’s no way you have 400 in it?

  4. Can we team up this guy and his wife with the Jimmy Dean Sausage Guy? Then make them consumer advocates. Just have them call up companies to argue your case for you. I would pay for that.

  5. I had no idea these people were so persistent.

    I can imagine this tactic – which seems childish here – is extremely effective on the elderly.

  6. SchecterShredder says:

    Scammer with accent is from the United States Banking Commission. Fucking classic.

  7. @SchecterShredder: With all of the outsourcing, is it really that hard to believe?

  8. smelendez says:

    I wonder if this will be a more common phenomenon thanks to VOIP?

  9. MDSasquatch says:

    funniest 10 minutes of my day; this guy needs to do Leno

  10. shadow735 says:

    This rocks, this scam will only work if you dont balance your check book and view your checking account on a daily basis. Priceless. “I have a 357. I’ll put your name on it”
    awesome!!

  11. scoosdad says:

    @smelendez: What would having VOIP have to do with this?

  12. CuriousO says:

    Yaaaaaawn…. it was funny but, why didnt the guy just hang up? I would of as soon as I heard the Indian accent asking me for my account number.

  13. DoctorMD says:

    So the scammer can now sue you for illegally taping his conversation without consent.

  14. Charybdis says:

    There should be a decimal in .357, ya’ll. [/pedantic]

  15. FightOnTrojans says:

    I would assume the lower costs associated with VOIP vs. regular landline has something to do with it.

  16. Rectilinear Propagation says:

    We’re pretending she’s a turkey or a goose or something like that.

    That one went right over my head. Why are we pretending she’s poultry?

    Why don’t I get phone calls like this? I’d LOVE to mess with this guy!

  17. Charybdis says:

    @DoctorMD:

    Howard Beasley told the caller he was being recorded, but the man didn’t hang up.

    Um, no. And it depends on the state, but I’m too lazy to look that up since it’s already been answered.

  18. Rectilinear Propagation says:

    @DoctorMD: The guy says several times in the recording that he let the scammer know it was being recorded. At one point the scammer even claims he’s recording it himself (so he can sue them for using abusive language) so I doubt he’d be successful suing them.

  19. alstein says:

    If the scammer sues, wouldn’t he then get arrested for having a scam- he’d kinda have to give his details…

  20. BugMeNot2 says:

    @scoosdad:

    VoIP affects this because the rates for VoIP service are substantially lower than rates for standard telephone service. Overseas calls via VoIP are pennies per minute compared to the dollars per minute standard calls can be, which, if a scammer has a high enough hit rate, is worth the price.

  21. Diet-Orange-Soda says:

    @DoctorMD: Beasley told the scammer he was recording.

  22. joemono says:

    Wouldn’t it make more sense to put his name on the bullet?

  23. Buran says:

    @Randal Milholland: Yeah, but I think that’s a bad idea to make a threat like that. Isn’t it true that in most states threatening to use your weapon when you aren’t being immediately threatened itself cause for arrest? Maybe something like “I’ll defend myself if you try anything”. But he probably was just angry, so I can understand it. Something to think of if this ever happens to you though…

  24. sweetpea12 says:

    He should’ve told the scammer he was part of the FBI.

  25. brent_w says:

    The sad thing is there are people stupid enough to fall for this.

  26. rbb says:

    VOIP also facilitates the overseas scammers by giving them a phone number in the United States. They could be anywhere in the world, but there phone number will show up as somewhere in the US. And, if they have a US account, the calls are unlimited.

  27. The Porkchop Express says:

    @scoosdad: I think it may also be easier to record the conversation into a useful format using your computer.

  28. BrianH says:

    Interesting considering the Indian accent…. I saw a story about a year ago on a Los Angeles TV station (probably ABC) about how these outsourced call centers & development centers are gathering pools of your personal information.

    Think about it… every time you call Dell, AT&T, etc… and get Tarbash in Bangalore, he’s a button press away from your name, address, phone #, Social Security #, possibly credit card #, etc….

    My sister in law works for the FBI and from what I gather at our holiday dinners, there’s a VERY large and increasing number of identity theft & white collar crime cases originating from India.

    So the question is: when is “cheap” not really so “cheap”?

    As long as corporate America is ruled by the almighty dollar, American consumers and workers are lambs for slaughter.

  29. Chris Walters says:

    @Rectilinear Propagation: Why? To round out the cast—Howard is a basset hound, the phisher is a weasel, and Howard’s wife is a turkey or a goose. It makes more sense if you saw the “Charlotte’s Web” cartoon too many times as a kid. And if you live in my head.

  30. qwickone says:

    @sweetpea12: LOL!! That would have been hilarious!

  31. keith4298 says:

    Would have been infinately better if he put the guy on hold, called the FBI and conferenced in the scammer. He probably would easily have gotten an early morning tv segment out of this.

  32. strangeffect says:

    I”m not saying the electric chair is the *only* response to this…

  33. Whoa says:

    Reminds me of the guys (and gals) who have fun with the ‘Nigerian Embassy’ scammers. http://www.419eater.com is a pretty funny site for that stuff.

  34. coan_net says:

    Me: Hello

    Scammer: Hello, my name is Tim Roberts calling about refunding you some money.

    Me: Tim Roberts – Wow, what a stoke of luck – I’m with City Financial and we have a little of $800 we need to you. Can you verify your account information for me.

    Scammer: What? I’m suppose to be scamming you.

    Me: This is no scam Tim, you know if you give me your credit card number along with the pin number, I will be able to put back the $800 tonight.

    Scammer: hangs up….

  35. Kat@Work says:

    I love his wife – she’s gonna whoop the scammer’s ass!

  36. m4ximusprim3 says:

    Yeah, howard should totally have assumed different identities throughout the call. “I am from the FBI!”.

    Five minutes later”
    “Do you know who I am? I’m Cher’s hairdresser, damnit! YOU CAN’T SPEAK TO CHER’S HAIRDRESSER LIKE THAT.”

    And on and on.

  37. rmontcal says:

    “As my grandpappy, Old Reliable, used to say… I don’t recollect if I’ve ever mentioned Old Reliable before?”

  38. mmcnary says:

    You know, what is needed here is a list of epithets that would be the most offensive to Indians, sort of like calling a Russian ‘uncultured’. Something that really hits them where they live.

  39. MeMikeYouNot says:

    I had my job “outsourced” to India in December. I created a new Gmail address for job hunting. I have sent out lots of resumes etc and now am receiving letters like this one:

    Dear “redacted”

    My name is Andrey Kashtanov.
    As Dream House, LCC’s top manager I am in charge of our performance
    control
    and further business development in the US. I am also involved in advising

    and attracting new employees. I have reviewed your resume and
    believe you have a good chance to receive the position of a Financial
    Manager.
    Please, read below for more information on our company.

    Our company deals in design activity.
    We are engaged in project generation of buildings and design of rooms:
    - accommodations
    - premises
    Dream House, LCC started its activity in 1998 and we have customers all
    over the world.
    For more information please visit the official website of the company:
    http://www.dreamhouselcc.com
    Dream House, LCC is located in Moscow, Russia.
    Dream House, LCC started its activity in the US market in 2008.
    We waged a great advertising campaign and now we have a great number of
    American customers,
    who are ready to come into line with us.
    We get the jump on American design companies:
    1. The cost of our service is much lower.
    2. Professionals of a wealth of experience work in our company.
    That’s why we fill the orders professionally and quickly.

    But we faced the problem because the US law does not allow doing trade
    business in the USA for the following reasons:

    The first problem:
    All financial services have to take place only in the country.
    The customer is not in a position to effect payments for the company that
    have no offices in the USA.

    Our company is located in Russia that is why the customers are not able to
    transfer money directly to Russia.
    Under the US law funds must be transferred on the account of the Financial
    Manager that is a citizen of the USA.
    That is the Financial Manager who is entitled to transfer funds to
    Russia.

    The second problem: solved
    Our company has to be registered in the US tax administration. The company
    has already met this condition.
    You can fully learn this information from our official website.

    Therefore now the employee in the USA is necessary for us and now I want
    to offer you this post.
    WE ACCEPT WIRE TRANSFER FOR PAYMENT OF OUR SERVICES.
    THEREFORE ONE OF THE DUTIES OF THE US FINANCIAL MANAGER IN THE USA.
    Also I want to explain to you a situation concerning payment of taxes.
    You should not worry concerning payment of taxes from your incomes.
    Because you should not pay any taxes from your incomes as you will be
    submitted as
    ” Independent Contractor ” and according to the contract which
    you sign with our company,
    you will be exempted from all taxes.

    1. JOB DESCRIPTION
    We are looking for a Financial Manager. MAIN DUTIES INCLUDE RECEIVING
    PAYMENTS FROM CUSTOMERS.

    2. COMPENSATION
    Financial Manager will be entitled to 5% of all completed transaction.
    The maximum turnover handled by a single manager is limited
    by company’s policy and is set at $200,000.
    Thus the maximum monthly pay will constitute $5,000-10,000.

    3. TYPE OF EMPLOYMENT
    Agreement

    4. TIME COMMITMENT
    2-5 hours a week

    IMPORTANT
    We also have a business proposal for US company owners and managing
    directors.
    Private US businesses can accept funds from our customers with no
    limitations
    with a monthly turnover of up to 1 million US dollars.
    Their profit is set at 5% of the turnover and may constitute $200,000
    monthly.
    Please apply if you have a legal running business and interested in this
    offer.

    A sample of your Employment Agreement will be enclosed in my next e-mail.

    Please feel free to e-mail me if you have any questions.

    Yours faithfully,
    Personal Manager
    Andrey Kashtanov
    Work e-mail: kashtanov@dreamhouselcc.com
    Personal e-mail: kashtanov.dreamhouse@gmail.com

  40. savvy999 says:

    I’d imagine Randy (of the classic Jimmy Dean sausage fiasco) would have .357 ready for a subcontinental scammer too.

    [consumerist.com]

  41. darkclawsofchaos says:

    He sounds like Forrest Gump, and he does have the same euphisms as him too

  42. smitty1123 says:

    This is freaking gold! Gold Jerry GOLD!

  43. Rectilinear Propagation says:

    @Chris Walters: Oh!

    Wait, shouldn’t the scammer be a rat?

    *fails to find song regarding fairs being smorgesboards (sp?) on YouTube*

  44. macinjosh says:

    @SchecterShredder: Uhhh, action star with accent is governor of California.

    Also this guy sounds like one of the Touchstone Terrorist characters.

  45. DMDDallas says:

    @mmcnary: Don’t want to get too specific here (i’ll get banned for sure), but there is a lot of lingering sensitivity over India’s caste system.

    Start here: [en.wikipedia.org]

  46. cmdr.sass says:

    My favorite response when asked for my account number is to being reciting random numbers until the scammer hangs up in frustration.

    Scammer: What’s your account number?
    Me: 8765-9983-1873-5836-3846-0017-3388-9374-QQQQ-1088 etc…

  47. Optimistic Prime says:

    @CuriousO: Why not keep the guy on the phone. That’s ten minutes the scammer can’t use on someone else who would fall for it. If you got the time, why not??

  48. Dibbler says:

    Is that Slim Pickens? Also, sounds like the guys from Nigeria to me.

  49. Xerloq says:

    @cmdr.sass: Kind of like this


    + Watch video

    Sorry, it’s the best I could find, but the Q’s reminded me of it.

    Great show… SNL and the PCSB.

  50. mike says:

    You know, judging by all the e-mail I get, I have something along the lines of $900 trill dollars of unclaimed money…yet none of them are willing to put that money on a credit card.

    [www.419eater.com]

  51. joebobfunguy says:

    @DoctorMD: If someone calls you, it is okay to record them. Like linda tripp.

  52. Buran says:

    @MeMikeYouNot: I get those too. They want you to launder fraudulent checks.

    Look forward to the day when I can turn off the mail aliases.

  53. backbroken says:

    I got the same exact kind of call from someone with a very similar sounding voice, except my call really was from a guy with the United States Banking Commission. Luckily, I had my checking account number handy so that I could get my money back!

  54. UpsetPanda says:

    Oh my gosh, that is a classic southern Virginia accent. Much different from the Richmond drawl, though. Neither of the links on the WSLS website point to all 10 minutes of the audio though. :( But the clip they include in the report is enough.

  55. Anonymous says:

    I wonder if Howard is really a graduate of VT…

  56. stezton says:

    Geez I can’t belief the scammer stayed on the line that long arguing with him. It was obvious early on he wasn’t going to get anywhere.

  57. ionerox says:

    WTF is the “United States Banking Commission” supposed to be anyhow? Man, is the FDIC gonna be mad when they find out there’s someone else out there muscleing in on their gig.

  58. UpsetPanda says:

    @cunnij98: Down there, everyone is either a VT fan or a UVA fan, so it doesn’t matter whether you went there or not, there are die-hard allegiances.

  59. clevershark says:

    To be fair, it was probably that guy’s first day at the (scam) office, where his instructions were to ask for the number and “be insistent” if the called person refused. He clearly hasn’t got a clue.

  60. FilthyHarry says:

    Sometimes I deal with scammers if I’m bored. I was on a long car ride once, going through my mail and get one that says I’m entered into a contest and I need to call to verify. Well I got nothing better to do and how often can you be completely full of shit with someone and not feel bad about it. Plus I like taking up their time. Spent 25 min on the phone with this guy. After verifying my name and addr. he tried to find out what my ‘interests’ were if I won the money. Long story short, he was selling magazine subscriptions and he finally gave up when I was only interested in mags about heroin and prostitutes.

    Also emailing back Nigerian scammers is LOADS of fun.

  61. missbheave (is not convinced) says:

    @clevershark: intimidating and threatening someone that you are going to come to their house and arrest them because they won’t give you their bank account # and call you a scammer doesn’t sound that green to me. Douchey yes, but not naive.

  62. missbheave (is not convinced) says:

    @backbroken: Ha!

  63. ExecutorElassus says:

    Great googly moogly, what’s with the streaming WMA file? I gave up after the third time it choked and had to re-buffer. Low bitrate or not, can’t the news station just post an mp3 as a static download? This sort of stuff is just bush-league.

  64. MrEvil says:

    Howard Beasley is my hero. He may not sound like it. But the guy was smart enough to record the conversation and KNOW that there is no such thing as the United States banking comission. He also knows that the feds can’t take money out of your account without due process.

  65. Nighthawke says:

    A .357? Indians don’t understand that term unless they watched some Dirty Harry movies. You cut to the chase and tell’em that you got your Webley .380 revolver out and just got done closing it up on 6 full chambers *Ker-CHUNK!*.

    They’ll drop their curry and hang up in a big hurry.

  66. philipbarrett2003 says:

    @FilthyHarry:
    I’m with you. The most fun is to play along like you’re interested but get dumber & dumber as the conversation goes on. “I’m sorry, I still don’t understand, can you explain this one more time?” Let it drag on for as long as you can stand then drop the bomb on them!

  67. Rectilinear Propagation says:

    @MrEvil: The best part is that he has a heavy Southern accent especially since people like to think “heavy Southern accent” = “dumb hick”.

    Of course, I don’t know if people in India hold that assumption but it’s more fun to think the scammer thought he had an easy mark.

  68. MissTic says:

    Howard Beasley is my new hero. Classic!!!

    And yes, many people are fooled by the Southern drawl. I deal with it all the time. Not sure if someone in India would think so but it’s fun to think they thought he would be an easy mark.

  69. mistaketv says:

    Is it just me or did I hear American Idol music in the background? That lady just sounds like an Idol fan.

  70. mikeluisortega says:

    LOL I would have told him a lot worse then this southern gentleman said. The Indian on the other line would fear for his wife’s honor after I spoke with him.

  71. DeltaPurser says:

    You can’t make this shit up! :-)

  72. SisterHavana says:

    @mistaketv: Not just you. I heard it too.

    MeMikeYouNot: I get those all the time. Several per day. They just go right into my spam folder.

  73. BugMeNot2 says:

    @DoctorMD:

    he told him he was recording and he doesn’t need the consent as long as one party being recorded is fine with it

  74. pigeonpenelope says:

    Howard and his wife are awesome!

    “I’ve got a .357 with your name on it”
    “You don’t know what ‘Sue’ is.. you probably think it is a girl next door.”

  75. pigeonpenelope says:

    @MrEvil: i agree! i like this guy because he was right on it.

  76. esthermofet says:

    @DoctorMD: Not every jurisdiction requires consent nor notification.

  77. RagingTowers says:

    I swear to you we aren’t all like that in Virginia…

  78. lucidpsyche says:

    This was on the 11 p.m. news yesterday. If you’re in Southern Virginia, I would definitely check out this station’s 11 p.m. broadcast. It’s the best reality tv I’ve ever seen. :) It’s classic when one of the lead stories is “skunk bites local woman.”

  79. rdm24 says:

    I bet the US Banking Commission is in the same building as the International Drainage Commission (in Springfield!).

  80. UpsetPanda says:

    @lucidpsyche: Yeah, Roanoke and Lynchburg are pretty low-risk areas to live in…the biggest issue is usually someone got bit by a skunk/squirrel/dog.

    @RagingTowers: It’s true, we’re not all like that!

  81. rabiddachshund says:

    I got a call from a 5 digit number yesterday from some Indian guy that wanted to direct deposit the $600 gov’t refund into my account. I asked him if he could mail me a check instead and he put me on hold for 15 minutes (checking back every once in a while to see if I was still on the line) and hung up.

  82. consu_consu says:

    Please stop linking to local eyewitness news’ websites. Their video/audio content almost never works.

  83. bobosgirl says:

    He informed the caller several times he was being recorded- duh! That’s all he has to do- he has no basis to sue him. The scammer could have hung up at anytime.@DoctorMD:

  84. ninjatales says:

    Some phishers never get the msg that the would-be victims know the game.

  85. JohnOB1 says:

    YOU KICK MY DOG! YOU KNOW DAMN RIGHT!

  86. compuguy1088 says:

    @UpsetPanda: That is a real southern drawl.

    Lucky for me I live up in the great place called NoVA (Northern Virginia) :D.

  87. compuguy1088 says:

    @RagingTowers: Same, we are all not like that, though that may be more prevalent in certain areas.

  88. nrwfos says:

    @UpsetPanda:
    We’re definitely not all like that. He was brilliant. I’m a Virginian by way of Texas…so if the scammer had called me he would have gotten a similar reaction.

    And as for skunks biting people…that’s a rabies problem because skunks usually spray you away if they’re healthy! I know been sprayed before. I don’t recommend it. I didn’t find it one bit funny! Fortunately, I was in a camping tent and the tent took most of the hit. My house has been sprayed by skunks before, too.

    Too bad Howard didn’t have a smell-a-phone! LOL!!

  89. macinjosh says:

    @JohnOB1: I thought of that too! :)

  90. trinidon2k says:

    @JohnOB1: @macinjosh: LOL…so did I!

  91. ninjatales says:

    Maybe if Howard had told the dude that he wanted to reward the scammer for his generosity with $100. All that is required is the bank account # and account pin.

    Would’ve resulted in a way shorter call and possibly less interesting one as well.

  92. kenblakely says:

    Why is this even funny? Some cretin (and his wife) burns 10 minutes on the fone with another cretin and somehow it’s funny. Please.

  93. faust1200 says:

    The longer I listen to this the more stupider I am getting.

  94. famboozled says:

    @BugMeNot2: Depends completely what US state the recording parrty is in- statea re either one or tow party- federal reservations are one party – military bases and indian reservations etc.

  95. m0unds says:

    @JohnOB1: YOUR DAUGHTER KICK MY DOG! YOU FUCKING GUY!

    Funny stuff.

  96. ShadowFalls says:

    One great part that is so funny is that the scammer trys to says he is with the government and they “accidently” took money out of the guy’s account, but yet needs his account number…

  97. dantsea says:

    Oh jesus, no one gives a shit about whether or not it was legal to record the call.

    Anyway, that was hilarious. Reminded me of what I’d liked to do a million years ago when AOL password phishers ran rampant: promise them I would disclose my password after they provided me with their QXR number, telling them that all AOL employees have a QXR number. It was great fun the way some of them would come up with dozens of strings of random numbers, which of course I’d proclaim as wrong. Or string them along with “No, that’s your AMR code, I need your QXR number.”

  98. Elle Rayne says:

    I couldn’t listen all the way through b/c the accents were driving me crazy, but I found this line from the transcript funny: “Sir, you are not a scam. You have no right to talk to me like that.”

  99. Typhoid says:

    In most states, all you have to tell them is that you are recording the conversation. If they don’t hang up, that’s consent.

    Some form of “Howard Beasley” needs to become slang for owning phishers.

  100. bobblack555 says:

    Can I get a Hallelujah!

  101. bobblack555 says:

    Dude, seriously, just hang up.

  102. RamblinLiz says:

    Oh man, as is often the case, the Southern accent makes this so much better. I love it. :)

  103. spyke01 says:

    One of the funniest parts of this other than the fact its almost impossible to understand the indian accent is the fact he called him self “James Carter” and “The Government Preson”. First off he must have been watching Rush hour right before the call and if someone comes to your door or calls you you’re never going to hear this “Hello i am government person, person of the government am i and from the government they sent me the government person.”

    You would think they would have though this through a little bit better. Would have probably had better luck just trying to verify account information instead of telling someone, “Gee mister we accidentally just stole some money from you, is that bad?”

    As always thanks for bringing these things to light most people would have just handed over the number.

  104. MyEasyTV says:

    @spyke01:
    Are you really that ignorant or do you not realize that there are Indians that are Christian? I’m not saying that really is his name, but the name is not the part that really tips you off that he’s a scammer.

    Anyways the conversation seems so immature. And the guy sounds like Hank Hill from King of the Hill – I’ll Tell you What’. Why not just hang up on them, I get similar calls but usually it’s an energy company asking me what company I’m with and then they ask me for my account #, I know the scam – a competing energy company calls a house and then tries to get the account # – then they can unilaterally (without permission) switch you over to their service and they’ll try to charge you more.

  105. sygyzy says:

    I like how the husband and wife kept a cool head and didn’t bring race, accents, religion, etc into this conversation. The same can’t be said about many of the commenters here.

  106. therobfather says:

    @Typhoid: “You’ve just been Beasled!”

  107. BugMeNot2 says:

    That’s a fair trade. 481 for a 357.

  108. sarabadara says:

    He sounds like the Jimmy Dean sausage guy. Remember the one who was pissed about the 12oz. size?

  109. ddhj says:

    “You don’t even know what that word is.
    Do you even know what ‘sue’ means?
    You think it’s the girl next door.”

    I love this man.

    387 comment ain’t too shabby either.
    i know that some people think it’s taking it too far.
    not when the d-bag threatens to come to your home.

  110. roytyo says:

    Can’t help but think of that Indian guy from 40 year old virgin.


    + Watch video

  111. snoop-blog says:

    that guy sounds like the dude from king of the hill, but the original “anderson” off of beavis and butthead.

    i wish people would try this on me, i love to go off on people. but i think i’d just use my other phone to call my local FBI office, and work with them to trace the call.

  112. Eliamias says:

    My favourite line is “Buddy, you don’t know what abusive language is until I get started”

    And I like the guy’s escalating frustration. He went from coming in ‘two days’ to ‘tomorrow’.

  113. uberbucket says:

    Thank you, come again!

  114. SoCalGNX says:

    @MeMikeYouNot: You can put your resume with Monster or any of the online services and get stuff sent to you like this forever. I have lost count .

  115. HowardsNiece says:

    Howard Beasley is my uncle.

    Hi all! Sorry I’m late to the party but this cracks me up and I had to post. Howard Beasley is my uncle. Yes, it’s true. I happened to be doing an online search for my grandfather (same name) and found this website. I’ll be sure to pass on all the giggles and funny remarks to him. He’ll get a real kick out of some of them for sure.

    He’s a really great guy and funny to boot. I thought I was going to die laughing when I heard the recording.