I'm Sorry, But We Didn't Order The "Suck My Dick Fuck Face."

The BBC is reporting that a restaurant owner has apologized to some customers who received the above-pictured bill.

“”I couldn’t believe it. The bill read ‘fish cakes’, which one of us had for a starter, and it was written right above it – absolutely disgusting language.

“We actually booked the table for 8 o’ clock in the evening, by the ,time they had taken our order it was quarter to nine and we didn’t actually receive our food until quarter past 10.”
She added: “I’d like a written apology from the restaurant and I’d also like some compensation.

“I think that the way that we’ve been spoken to is absolutely outrageous.”

The owner of the restaurant “Joe Delucci’s”, Mr Langsdon, told the BBC that the message was intended to be seen only by the kitchen staff.

“That shouldn’t come out on the bill, so we’ve got to find out what’s gone wrong there.

“But we have apologised unreservedly to the girls concerned and said that they’re very welcome to come back and have a free meal and we’d like them to.”

He has also offered to donate the bill for their meal to charity.

At least the item was free…?

Restaurant sorry over F word bill [BBC]

Comments

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  1. ElizabethD says:

    Damn. My restaurant receipts are never that interesting.

  2. hypnotik_jello says:

    Sounds like an episode out of Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares

  3. deadlizard says:

    I’d sell them the same item, only it won’t be free.

  4. yesteryear says:

    this is the best thing ive ever seen on this website. thank you!

  5. clevershark says:

    “That shouldn’t come out on the bill”

    The guy might as well say “that’s what we say about all our patrons, just not to their faces”.

  6. kris in seattle says:

    Well Damn.

  7. gatopeligroso says:

    “The owner of the restaurant, Joe Delucci, told the BBC that the message was intended to be seen only by the kitchen staff.” WTF. Why would he even allow something like this between his employees? I’m not opposed to screwing around a bit, but why put this into your POS system where it could accidentally end up on a receipt.

  8. Cialis Cooper says:

    “Absolutely disgusting language.” Agreed. Who in the hell would put a fish in a cake?

  9. Rando says:

    Lol, it wasn’t supposed to be viewed by the customer’s but it was supposed to be viewed by the kitchen staff… Interesting

  10. ju_ju_eyeball says:

    @clevershark: Damn! You beat me to it!!

    But that is basically the truth. Why have that as a menu item in the computer?

  11. NotATool says:

    @clevershark: Um, I was thinking the same thing. Rather than blame it on a pissed off watier, he’s actually admitting that this is common practice in his restaurant? It’s just that they usually remove the rude comments before the bill is given to the customer? WTF?

  12. yesteryear says:

    i think this would be a great company to work for. they sound like a fun bunch.

  13. latemodel says:

    Maybe they meant it as a compliment.

  14. Charybdis says:

    I’m seeing it as a comment from the waitstaff to the kitchen. It doesn’t have anything to do with the customer. It was just them insulting each other in a novel way, and the customer just happened to accidentally be let in on the (hopefully) joke. Yes it’s a serious screw-up, but I don’t see that the intent was to insult or offend the customer.

  15. savdavid says:

    Words only have the power you give them.

  16. MexiFinn says:

    Damn! 4 pounds for a glass of wine! That’s like 8 bucks… that’s the horror.

    Oh yeah, the nasty comment is sucky too.

    Well, at least the wine included VAT

  17. AlteredBeast (blaming the OP one article at a time.) says:

    Too bad she wasn’t charged $2,242.00 for it!

  18. nemesiscw says:

    Common mistake, the keys are right next to each other.

  19. Ayo says:

    I would actually die laughing if i saw this on my bill. But i would also complain and get some freeness out of it.

  20. Jackasimov says:

    Hey, at least they weren’t charged for the Suck My Dick Fuckface. They got off easy. Do you know how much we charge for that in the states?

    Written apology? Compensation? I don’t see how that could possibly be enough for the trauma you’ve been through tonight. Clearly this person was a true fuckface and deserved to be referred to as such.

  21. Moosehawk says:

    Wow I just burst out laughing. That’s amazing.

  22. Anonymous says:

    Did you notice the “Meatball Starter” for 17.85 ? They got screwed twice!

  23. 2chis says:

    In a P.O.S system such as positouch, aloha, etc. there are modifier buttons. For instance if you need to make a note for the kitchen, you would press open food, 0 dollars then write in your memo.( like sauce on the side, no onions) These modifiers shouldn’t print on the bill but in this case it did and the server should have looked at the bill before handing it to the customer.

  24. jaydez says:

    holy crap! they spent 73 pounds on alcohol!!! I hope it was a big party.

  25. Xerloq says:

    Are you sure this was a restaurant they visited. I mean, maybe they thought it was a restaurant, but…

  26. lostalaska says:

    I had a friend who worked as a bartender. He said when people wanted to run up a tab he’d often give their tickets nicknames something to remind him which person at the bar had which tab. Of course the nicknames were not always good ones. He also said since food tickets got printed out back in the kitchen they’d send notes on the bills back and forth to each other. While the customer shouldn’t ever see them they did sometimes make their way out to the table. Usually they were extra careful with the tickets that said something like “brown tweed complained about the brandy. He’s a small D*cked pretentious F***”.

  27. Parting says:

    I’d keep the bill as a souvenir =)

  28. Natheo says:

    That’s an awesome bill. Maybe they had it coming.

  29. Sherryness says:

    That reminds me of a receipt I got from the grocery store once. The receipts would always say, “Your checker is…!” and then it would have the name of the checker in all caps. So once I got a checker who had a name that made that situation amusing. My receipt said, “Your checker is GAY!”

  30. krunk4ever says:

    I’m curious as to why they have even such an item on the list and why is it intended for internal kitchen staff… I’m thinking it means to tell the chefs to spit in the food when the see such an item listed.

  31. andyj76 says:

    It’s likely (although boring) that the item is a placeholder that lets the kitchen staff know when the starters are nearly finished, so that they can start cooking the main course.
    They’re normally labelled “Go-Ahead” or something equally dull.

  32. timsgm1418 says:

    I think it’s pretty amazing that it was free….maybe they should have pointed out to the server that they put an item on their for no charge, and they usually have to pay for that…..

  33. krunk4ever says:

    @krunk4ever: my friend has corrected me and said it’s usually the waiter that spits in your food.

  34. FightOnTrojans says:

    @Charybdis: This is what I think it is also. I’ve worked at a few places where pranks and messages between employees would totally be misconstrued if the public were aware of it. In the end, though, it just helps build some camaraderie amongst the employees to keep morale from hitting the floor.

  35. e-gadgetjunkie says:

    The retail store I used to work at allowed for a different descriptions to be printed on the item tag and receipt paper. I used to change the descriptions to confuse the old ladies at the register, but never anything offensive.

  36. Dashrashi says:

    Aw, Meg, you took my punch-line!

  37. kellyd says:

    Totally agree it should have been removed before the customer got it, but I tend to agree with the folks who suspect it was just camaraderie. When I worked as a waiter, it was really important to play around with the kitchen to keep things light. We had “TB Tables” which were tables at which at least one person was seated whom I wanted to give a tongue bath. I’d use little notes like that (computers have replaced the times you could just tell the line cook that sort of thing when you put in the order; now, these screens you have to punch the order into foster creativity.) I’d totally have loved getting that bill.

  38. humperdinck says:

    What are they complaining about? The Suck My Dick Fuck Face was on the house!

  39. jkaufman101 says:

    Consumerist: Do you think you could tell us the name of the restaurant? That’s not part of the story?

  40. drjayphd says:

    …and so ended Billy Ripken’s career as a waiter.

  41. rolla says:

    at least they didnt charge for it! hahaaa…

  42. DeltaPurser says:

    Never a dull moment…

  43. bobert says:

    Beyond the receipt… it took 45 minutes from their reservation time to get their order taken? And then another hour and a half to get their food? I’m amazed thse folks stuck around long enough to even get this receipt! “Ma’am, would you like some written abuse to go with your starvation?”

  44. hypnotik_jello says:

    @jkaufman101: Methings the Consumerist doesn’t actually read the articles they link to. “Joe Delucci” is the NAME of the restaurant, not the name of the owner.

  45. Meg Marco says:

    @jkaufman101: It’s called Joe Delucci’s, which is the guy’s name.

  46. wordsmithy says:

    No one’s offended that the owner refers to presumably adult women as “girls”?

  47. bobert says:

    @jkaufman101: Just follow the link to the original BBC story – the restaurant name is right there. If you google it, you can find the restaurant’s web site.

  48. Meg Marco says:

    @hypnotik_jello: Oh you’re right. My fault. I misread that.

  49. samurailynn says:

    I think the owner handled it well. Maybe he could have explained that that area is for notes to the kitchen, and that he will have a talk with the wait staff who are using it inappropriately (even if he wasn’t going to discipline them, it would probably make the customer feel better).

    I think the bill is funny, and while I might have pointed it out to a manager or the owner, I wouldn’t have gotten upset about it.

  50. At a restaurant/bar everyone I work with spends a fair amount of time at, every tab at the bar has a name. Its usually the name of the actual person. Since they know us, the receipt will usually say “Ali&Ricky”, “Lisa”, “Mary”, etc. If they don’t know the name and put “Blue shirt” or something, the bartender will delete that line before passing along the bill. Once one slipped through for someone across the bar labeled “No Tip Douche”. I’m gonna guess thats what happened here.

  51. tk427 says:

    …booked the table for 8 o’ clock…we didn’t actually receive our food until quarter past 10…

    Did they, by any chance, spend the 2+ hrs bitching to every employee that came within 10 feet of them? Hence the “suck my dick fuckface” label for the table in question?

  52. cynicality says:

    All of this and no one’s even pointed out that ‘fuckface’ is one word! A refund was indeed in order!

  53. Sherryness says:

    @wordsmithy:
    No, a lot of people use girls/boys to mean male/female. It’s to do with gender, not age.

  54. inno says:

    Meatball starter for $18?! The Suck-My-Dick-Fuckface better be complimentary!

  55. luz says:

    This is awesome.

    I worked in escrow closing with a guy who could fart at will. Obnoxious buyers’ attorneys got the gastrointestinal equivalent of this…all over their HUD-1 forms. Great fun.

  56. Landru says:

    I’ll bet it was the waiter telling the cook “Suck my dick, fuck face.” At the one restaurant I worked at, there were tremendous battles between the waiters and the kitchen staff. Once a waiter actually dragged one of the cooks out through the dining room and threw her in the gutter in front of the place.

  57. GreatCaesarsGhost says:

    Um, could we maybe put this behind a NSFW link?

  58. Szin says:

    If the food was good, I might take them up on the free meal offer.

  59. FightOnTrojans says:

    @drjayphd: ha ha, I get this! For those who don’t, think “baseball cards.”

  60. Hoss says:

    I would order that one every time — just to run it through expense approvals.

  61. dss902 says:

    They were only charged for one fuckface and it looked like it was comped anyway…

    /fuckface ftw

  62. deweydecimated says:

    Surely, this being a British restaurant, it was supposed to read “Suck My Spotted Dick, F*** Face”.

  63. Adam Hyland says:

    @gatopeligroso: because it is funny. Sheesh. Sure it wasn’t meant to be seen by customers, but cooks and waiters love to fuck with each other. Consequently, we have this little gem.

  64. 3 Meatball starters… 18 pounds
    1 Fish cake… 5 pounds
    Telling your horrid customers exactly how you feel about them… PRICELESS!

  65. Consumerist Moderator - ACAMBRAS says:

    I heard that the city of Chicago is going to ban restaurants’ sale of Suck My Dick Fuckface, just like they did with foie gras.

  66. Meg Marco says:
  67. azntg says:

    @Consumerist Moderator – ACAMBRAS: HOW COULD THEY? At a fire sale price of $0, they should be GIVING THEM OUT!

  68. katylostherart says:

    looks like a candidate for ramsay’s kitchen nightmares.

  69. @clevershark: +1
    Unbelievable. Forget that it’s on the bill. That they are talking about dick sucking and fuck faced customers doing it, that’s what’s amazing.

    Of course, it was free. On the flip side, I dunno that you could go back there. They are SO TOTALLY going to do something GROSS to your food.

  70. cmdr.sass says:

    I’m disappointed by the lack of “wanker”, “bloody”, and/or “bollocks” in this story,

  71. NoStyle says:

    What is all the negativity about? That can be pretty expensive in some places.

  72. sam1am says:

    I like how the mistake is that the message made it onto the receipt, not that the message was there in the first place. The response seems to indicate that this is a normal communication in the kitchen, but that the big slip up was that it somehow made it on to the receipt.

    I don’t think I’ll be eating there any time soon.

  73. welsey says:

    That’s hilarious.

    And doesn’t fish cakes sound totally disgusting? I’m more offended by that and I always will be!

  74. As a former waitress I can attest that yes, sometimes we servers inputed funny/sarcastic/offensive stuff to be sent back to the kitchen chefs. But this ticket came thru the kitchen and got tossed when the food runner takes the order to the table… and it NEVER has prices on it. So the manager’s explanation rings true, but only to an extent. My guess is that the waiter purposely put that on the customer receipt with the hope s/he wouldn’t ever give it a second glance.

  75. ohgoodness says:

    @gatopeligroso: Obviously you have never worked in a restaurant. It’s the most obnoxious (but kind of awesome) work environment imaginable. That language is common in the back of every restaurant you have eaten at. Promise.

  76. Paulyshoreis.dead says:

    Back in the early 90’s at a very big very expensive full service brokerage firm, people still took trade tickets and would hand them off to a wire operator/drone to enter them into the computers. Brokers you see were too busy calling customers and getting sales to mess with . Brokers who sat in bullpens of 4 would write each other messages on the backs of trade tickets. Once, a relatively new broker wrote “this is the most hate filled old man the world has ever seen” but on the front.

    Downside to the story is the wire operator inputted it on the confirm because they were were literally not paid to think but to just input what the brokers had written down. Yup, the client got the confirmation with the note and the broker got fired. The manager that signed off on the ticket (who really didn’t even glance at it didn’t get as much as an oily hair tussled over it). So it’s not just crappy restaurants these messages get sent around and accidentally put on tickets…..needless to say, we were all VERY careful with our messages to each other.

    Then there are the horror stories of what happens when the MUTE button on the headsets don’t work. icky.

  77. swalve says:

    Classy post, Consumerist. Grow up…

  78. vitaminmax says:

    The customer probably was a fuck face. I think this is hilarious.

    hahahaha

  79. wring says:

    i’ll have what they’re having!

  80. Meg Marco says:

    @swalve: No.

  81. Trai_Dep says:

    In my town, when folks offer that, they usually charge money.

    Although, we’re too classy to list it on the bill so blatantly. “Producer’s fee” works better than others.

  82. Trai_Dep says:

    1/3 of the posters seem amazed that there was no charge for the item.

    This means only one thing: time for road trip to Great Britain!!

  83. sibertater says:

    At least it was free! Dang, what a douche…Absolutely disgusting language? What are you a Mormon?

  84. nardo218 says:

    Ooo, donating the bill to charity. I like that extra bit.

  85. sibertater says:

    Also? Jesus, how fat are these people? They really ate a lot.

  86. elisa says:

    @tk427: Well, maybe they bitched because it was taking so long. If I wait over an hour for my food, I reserve the right to bitch too. (Actually I probably would’ve left instead…)

  87. brie987 says:

    Comment was not charged I don’t see the problem.

  88. Ghede says:

    Are we really looking at this from the right perspective? How many people have ordered the “Suck my Dick Fuck-face” and had to pay for it? I know I have. They are getting a complimentary insult. *badum-ch*

  89. Mike_Hawk says:

    “Comment was not charged, I don’t see the problem”

    The problem, is that this person’s dainty feelings were hurt and somebody said a bad word at them. because of this, it is now the obligation of the business owner to shower them with apologies and free swag so that they don’t call a lawyer and sue them for sexual harassment or defamation of character, or for making them feel bad about them selves.

    I think a better solution is to maybe never go back to the restaurant? or else demand that they be given the suck dick fuck face if they are going to be charged for it.

  90. Posterchild says:

    Personally I think this is awesome, for too long the british nation has been seen as stuffy shirt conservatives… now having worked in the industry for many years the ‘girls’ in question seem to be out for the almighty freebee grabbing with both hands when the owner suggested their refund goes to charity, i can also see how this is an incredibly amusing accident. The Brits should rally behind this and start speaking their minds.

  91. mike says:

    Aside: There’s a restaurant in Myrtle Beach, I think…It’s called “The Last Resort”, where the waiters are intentionally rude. I’ve never been, but I hear it’s pretty popular.

  92. john_nyc says:

    I thank the Maker for the 6 months I spent bussing tables in my youth. Thanks to that experience, no job I take after that will be the worst job I ever had. I blame my general disdain of all humans to that job, as well.

    This receipt just says in writing what I said in my head (and under my breath) time and time again when I had that job.

  93. Aphex242 says:

    Compensation for this would be stupid. It’s asinine to even ask for it. This is… silly.

  94. Chols says:

    Perhaps it is a secret code for hurry up with the appetizers. We used to put ***RUSH*** on ours. Sometimes the newbies would mess up and it would appear on the bill. Nevertheless it’s hilarious.

  95. kimsama says:

    Wow, that’s just…wow.

    On a related note, I agree with everyone who is remarking on the price of the food. Eating in the U.K. was heart-stoppingly expensive. The only way I could stomach it was to pretend the £ were $ (and that I wasn’t really paying double that). Ouch.

    @inno: @wideawake: I think the meatball starter was ordered thrice, so it was a slightly less horrible £5.95 each.

  96. kimsama says:

    @sohmc: Ohh, I want to go! I think it would be sort of hilarious and baroque to have waiters try their hardest to be really rude.

  97. Rectilinear Propagation says:

    There’s no way the server got a tip.

    …they’re very welcome to come back and have a free meal and we’d like them to.

    See, this is where the free/discount compensation doesn’t work. “Hey, how ’bout we don’t charge you next time? I’m sure it won’t be full of spit…”

  98. enm4r says:

    They should come to the Weiner Circle in Chicago if they visit the states. They’d probably leaving thinking this bill was cordial service.

  99. Daniel-Bham says:

    I love how it is edited out of the receipt but not the headline.

  100. Shadowman615 says:

    He’s going to donate the bill to charity? So some charity organization will have to pay it? What an asshole.

    ;-)

  101. samurailynn says:

    @Shadowman615: I thought maybe he would give them a copy of the bill so that the charity could make a sort of museum/attraction out of it and charge people to come see it.

  102. GrandizerGo says:

    @Daniel-Bham:
    I thought the same…

  103. Narockstar says:

    Ha ha ha. Oh no, some customer found out that the staff isn’t just anxiously focused on them, but might actually be having fun in the back. I’d love to get a receipt like this. It would make my week.

  104. thalia says:

    It’s alright, it was only meant to be seen by the kitchen staff! I take it they also jacked off in her starter. Excuse me, waiter, but this feta is a bit runnier than I like it…

  105. Kenneth says:

    I used to enter “special” instructions meant for the kitchen staff only (but not as colorful as this one) when I waited tables. Thank God they didn’t print on the bill. That would have been sad. The waiter should have checked the bill when he printed it.

  106. kimsama says:

    @Rectilinear Propagation: Haha, agreed. I’d be afraid to set foot in there.

    Except I’ll bet that the server didn’t get a tip because it’s not as common to tip in the U.K. But he sure as hell didn’t deserve one, even if this had taken place in the U.S.! For all the complaining everyone does about tipping, it is nice to have the ability to tell your extremelly rude server “FU!”

  107. banmojo says:

    I bet they were rude fuck faces, and the staff got pissed off at them and quite frankly, I’ve waited tables in my past, and people can really be prick fuck faces. This bitches likely got what they deserved (actually not, if they WERE fuck faces they should have gotten bitch slapped outta the restaurant) so fuck them those fucking fucks!

  108. badfad says:

    I’m not surprised at all that there would be such a line item. Look just above and, as part of the official receipt, you’ll see listed “Wet Sales Total.” How can you call that appropriate?

  109. kable2 says:

    I think its a note to the kitchen staff that these people are assholes. Tells the kitchen staff to add the special stuff to the food.

  110. waitaminute says:

    many restaurants’ computerised ordering systems have item “modifiers” the servers use to tell the kitchen details about the order. Many of them are acronyms like “SOS” for “sauce on the side”. At one of the best restaurants in San Francisco, there is a modifier that simply adds “pita” to the item detail. Thing is, the restaurant does/has not ever offer(ed) this or any type of bread as a definable part of their menu. That’s ok, because “pita” simply tells the kitchen this customer is a Pain In The Ass. Even if it shows up on the bill, it isn’t prima facie offensive.

  111. jonworld says:

    Geez…at least the waitress was nice enough to give you the 1 order of “Suck My Dick Fuck Face” for free. I couldn’t get that gratis from a restaurant if I tried.