Target Sells Most Complicated Napkin Holder Ever

Teri writes:

Found this yesterday while at a Target in Troy, MI. Apparently this napkin holder has more features than most. (see description) apologies for the fuzzy photo.

The description reads: “Three yellow bow-tie sprinkler heads and 2 15′ lengths of garden hose. Each sprinkler covers up to a 24′ diameter. Attach to standard garden hose. Portable. Rain like spray.”

I can’t help it. Every time I picture myself using a napkin holder with these features, I just can’t stop giggling. That’s what you get for shopping at the Salvador Dali-themed Target. Guess they were tired of all that boring Michael Graves crap.

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  1. speedwell (propagandist and secular snarkist) says:

    WHY IS THIS A CONSUMERIST ISSUE?!!?!! Just kidding. It’s worth a giggle. This is the sort of sloppy, uncaring garbage that, when I see it in the store, makes me turn around and leave. But then again I used to do the graphics for a retail store I worked for in college.

  2. nequam says:

    Hurry hurry, it’s only a temporary price cut!

    I just can’t stop laughing about this.

  3. chemmy says:

    Woo save 50 cents!!!!!!

  4. friendlynerd says:

    Better stock up on napkin holders while you can!

  5. Wow, imagine what the salt and pepper shakers do!

  6. PølάrβǽЯ says:

    Now I feel stupid for spending hundreds of dollars on irrigation stuff at Home depot last summer. Should’ve went to Target for $3.50 Napkin Holders that provide a “rain-like spray!”

  7. goodkitty says:

    There should probably be a special category just for “deals that aren’t deals,” like the ones I see in Safeway all the time, where you can buy three for $5.xx (where $5.xx is a savings of 5 cents from the original price).

    First submission… a picture of a BoA free checking account ad.

  8. nffcnnr says:

    The name of my new band: Rain Like Spray. Look for our forthcoming album, Hail Like Poo due to drop this summer.

  9. BlondeGrlz says:

    Target uses Temporary Price Cut to avoid writing rainchecks. Because you can get a raincheck on any Sale item, but but not the price cuts. So obviously they knew these amazing irrigating napkin holders would be huge sellers and they’re thinking again. A+ Target!

  10. WhirlyBird says:

    Is there any platinum in it?

  11. DebbieDoesDamage says:

    @speedwell: Do you really “turn around and leave” a store if you see a misprinted sign? Really?

  12. SnickerDoodle says:

    I was in a local Ikea and found a bamboo room divider; it was about 5 feet tall and about 6 feet long. The information tag stated that the room divider was….wait for it….dishwasher safe!

  13. freakinalex says:

    Not only does it hold napkins, it can wash the dishes as well!

  14. homerjay says:

    @DebbieDoesDamage: I’m sure that was a pretty bad attempt at sarcasm… or something like that.

  15. speedwell (propagandist and secular snarkist) says:

    @DebbieDoesDamage: Depends on the store and the egregiousness of the error… and the direction of the damage. If the error is in my favor, and worth the hassle, sometimes I’ll be all like, “that’s what the sign says,” but in general a sign problem this stupid points to stupid staff, stupid management, and stupid policies. The thought typically crosses my mind that if they’re this criminally careless when the whole purpose of the advertisement exercise is to catch and hold the customer’s attention, I shudder to think about what they do (or neglect to do) when someone’s not even looking.

    Yeah, it gets to me. I get grossed out, and many times I do indeed leave. It’s not as though there aren’t fifty places selling the same damn thing, or near enough.

  16. homerjay says:

    @speedwell: Think of it this way and it may get you less irked– Someone is typing up a bunch of signs that he copies from a book or something. He accidentally reads and types the wrong description into the program and doesn’t notice. He then moves onto the other.

    Later, store employee gets a stack of signs to put out. Chances are he’s not even looking at the description because he has a hundred signs to put out. He looks at the title and sticks it where it belongs.

    Doesn’t really seem criminally careless to me as much as it was a comedy of errors, and really only two at that.

    Whats worse is when WalMart has permanent store directory signs printed up misspelled. BIG DIFFERENCE.

  17. pigeonpenelope says:

    ha ha ha… those are some fantastic napkin holders! and all this time i thought napkin holders were fantastic if they only held napkins. i’m such a simpleton.

  18. speedwell (propagandist and secular snarkist) says:

    @homerjay: Did you miss the part where I said I actually did this? Because I have a little thing called pride in my work, I now no longer do this, but when I was doing it, I wouldn’t let myself be caught dead doing something this lazy and ignorant.

  19. homerjay says:

    @speedwell: yeah yeah, we all worked in a retail store at one time or another. I just assumed by “I did the graphics” you meant you actually did something meaningful as opposed to typing text into a sign printer.

    Lighten up a little. People screw up at work. Not everyone is as perfect as you. This is so minor its laughable… which is why everyone but you is laughing at it.

  20. maxnl says:

    I gotta ask,
    Is the the Maple and Coolidge Target?
    If so, I got to go and see for myself

  21. KogeLiz says:

    @speedwell: Hey, did you know that there are people not as awesome and perfect as yourself? Yeah, seriously! Especially since the majority of them are working low wages at retail stores.

    Can you believe that???

    Didn’t think so…

  22. speedwell (propagandist and secular snarkist) says:

    @KogeLiz: Remind me not to hire you for any job requiring you to express yourself in print or to perform quality control on your own work or the work of others.

    @homerjay: All the graphics, including typesetting signs. Since you asked.

  23. amed01 says:

    Awww, man…now my napkins are all soggy

  24. doctor_cos wants you to remain calm says:

    @KogeLiz: Thank goodness you are here to point that out, Mr. Obvious.

  25. theblackdog says:

    @amed01: But your lawn looks great!

  26. Raziya says:

    @speedwell: I am currently doing this and sometimes…they get sent messed up. I almost always catch it but sometimes it’s hard, when the first of the month comes and I have 5500 price changes. o.O No one is perfect!

  27. taylorlightfoot says:

    It’s a database error. When those signs are printed they are generated from a database of items and descriptions and some how they got mixed up for this items barcode.

    Target doesn’t hand type out these signs, they scan the items barcode and out pops a sign from their database. The regular employee’s have no control over what is in the database.