Phil Villarreal, film critic for the Arizona Star, has been writing a diary during his recent XBOX 360 RRoD ordeal. In it, Phil deals with his feelings of pain, betrayal, disappointment and loss by writing to his beloved XBOX.

Jan. 25
I bought one of those Mexican Jesus candles and put it on top of you, hoping for a little divine intervention. Nothing. I opened your disc drive and blew into you, just as I did to bring back my old NES from the netherworld. Not working. Xbox 360, I wish I could quit you.

Jan. 26
I don’t know how to tell you this, but I’ve started to see other consoles. I met this petite, compact, motion-sensing pal named Wii, and this big, black behemoth called PS3, and together we, well, I’ll spare you the details. It was meaningless lust and nothing more. I promise there’s still a place in my heart for you. Please don’t hold this against me. Sometimes a fella gets lonely.

[Philmguy]

Comments

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  1. IrisMR says:

    That thing is hillarious.

    Sigh. 360, you break so many hearts.

  2. Custom Reality says:

    Yeah, it is an expensive toy and it sucks that it broke, I would be a little upset too, but seriously… pain? Betrayal?

    Lord…. Go outside until it comes back.

  3. adamsummers says:

    Hmmm… no DRM problems? They must have actually repaired his console, as opposed to swapping it out from the “spare pool”.

  4. GenXCub says:

    Jesus Candles ftw.

  5. warf0x0r says:

    That was good. I’m glad someone could make light of that situation.

  6. rmz says:

    I love Phil’s column.

  7. ConnertheCat says:

    @adamsummers:

    You only run into the DRM problem if you’re not signed into your profile.

  8. uricmu says:

    Putting the candle on top of the XBOX is not a good idea.

    The miniscule shifting of the flame will be enough to create movement that will affect the disc drive and cause your discs to scratch.

    Since the 360 DVD Drive doesn’t have the padding on that you can find on a 2$ CD player in Chinatown, even that is enough.

  9. jeremybwilson says:

    @CUSTOM REALITY
    Me thinks tis called satire… :P

  10. TechnoDestructo says:

    If he lit the candle, the heat probably voided his warranty.

  11. gilman says:

    Don’t do it.. I have both and the games for the Wii blow. Right now I’m using it as a nice blue nightlight.

  12. m4ximusprim3 says:

    Every time I see the picture of an RRoD on the front page, I get a mental picture of a big Xbox Pinata and lots of people running around with sticks whacking it.

    It always makes me giggle.

    The humorous counterpoint to the whole situation for me is that I have a launch day Elite and use it pretty much every day. It’s my cats favorite place to sleep because its so warm. My dogs routinely run into the guitar and drum cables and yank out the quick connectors. I’ve dropped it at least once while movig it.

    I’ve been waiting for it to die horribly since I subject it to the most dismal of conditions, and I’ve never had a problem with it. Maybe everyone just needs to stop coddling their xboxes and beat on them. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?

  13. snwbrder0721 says:

    Phil’s article is hilarious!

    On a more somber note so I don’t catch the RRoD I’m now moving my 360 to a vaccuum sealed dust-wind-movement-light-heat-free, earthquake-recession-bullet proof room behind 33 foot glass windows. A robot will carefully load and unload each disc. This robot will not be made by microsoft. The entire complex will be buried deep within the earth and a 500ft monster cable will connect my 13″ non-hdtv to the system.

    That’s what I’m spending my rebate check on.

  14. tcolberg says:

    January 22, beginning of ordeal, to February 12, end of ordeal. Not bad. It only took two weeks from the shipping of the coffin to the Xbox’s return. I thought return times were much longer. I wonder if he got the 1 month of free XBL that I’ve heard some people receive for their downtime.

  15. parad0x360 says:

    I have a PS3 but I could never disgrace my 360 by using it.

  16. theirishscion says:

    @snwbrder0721: Post Of The Day.

  17. flamincheney says:

    @ SNWBRDER0721

    And still your system will fail. And I will know this, having spent my rebate check on illegal aliens to follow you around 24/7 for several weeks- That’s all it should take.

    And if that fails I will convince AT&T to patch through your calls and email with the promise of complete legal amnesty despite what actual law has to say about it.

  18. Szin says:

    He should have put on some Barry White for his 360. That would’ve gotten it in the mood.

  19. Buran says:

    @Custom Reality: That sound you just heard was the joke going over your head.

  20. chutch says:

    @snwbrder0721: You are aware the Monster cable is a waste of money, right?

  21. NiGHTSSTUDiO says:

    So, X360s are the polar opposite of the companion cube?

  22. Trai_Dep says:

    His X-Box 360 wasn’t that into him since it runs AC/DC.

  23. cooler_dood says:

    my 360 went RROD one me while playing Halo 3, i couldn’t finish the fight.

    but now that it’s back to me, i haven’t turned in on in a while…afraid it’d RROD on me again.

    so now it’s just me and my PS3. we’re very happy together.

  24. zibby says:

    Any word on whether more recently manufactured 360’s have improved as far as this problem goes?

  25. deadlizard says:

    The only Microsoft product that hasn’t broken any hearts is the
    Zune, and I assume it’s because if you buy a Zune, you already have low
    expectations.

  26. tamoko says:

    @snwbrder0721: That had me falling off my chair. Thanks man, it just made up for 6 hours of unhappiness.