So was he fired for being a weak critic, or was he fired because Maxim realized that "film critic" was an unnecessary function of their magazine?

A lousy reviewer not fit to be published in a magazine about beer and boobs!

- Me, Here

So he can't invest in a thesaurus? [thesaurus.reference.com]

I personally like [www.rottentomatoes.com] or [www.avclub.com], but I suspect there are better resources to tell when you will not waste your time. Suggestions?

"The can't miss firing of the year!"

Yea! Reviews should be honest. Quote whores don't deserve legitimate outlets of their tripe. Perhaps Hammond can find a job quote whoring at the nearly imaginary quote whore rag, Wireless Magazine?

maxim knew exactly what they were getting with this guy. they wanted their name in ads too.

Isn't telling the reader what to think the sole job of any reviewer?

I was hoping to read that he had been fired out of a cannon. This is almost as good.

Maxim and the now defunct stuff both have so called reviews with stars and all, for movies that are months from being released, and have not been screened for critics yet.

@curiosity:
I'd suggest [www.metacritic.com] . It is an aggregation (meta) site that shows you all the major reviews and gives you links to the originals, summaries and individual and averaged scores. The structure helps eliminate the relevance of quote whores.

Being a movie reviewer is the second best job ever.

Many reviewers end up saying the same thing, but honesty is what separates good reviewers from bad reviewers. Every review should state if a movie is worth your time and cash.

In my opinion, everyone should use a site like rottentomatoes.com or mrqe.com to find a reviewer that has your tastes in film. Maybe you're high-brow? Maybe you think that Adam Sandler is an artistic genius? These two site can help you find that critic that speaks your language and then return to their reviews for advice.

First best job ever? Food critic. Hands down.

This has to be my favorite movie review of all time.

[www.nypost.com]

Maybe he REALLY like all those films?

This bozo sounds like he's just a quote whore past his prime.

My favorite movie reviewer is the filthy critic (www.bigempire.com/filthy/)

It's written from the perspective of a crotchety old drunk guy. I find myself agreeing with most of his reviews. Check out his archives to see what the thinks about the movies. It's always an entertaining read, and he gives you HIS opinion on the movie.

I enjoy SickBoy's reviews www.sick-boy.com but unfortunately lately it seems he doesnt see as many. He is pretty brutal but its funny.

I fell asleep during Alpha Dog, the "fiercely original shocker"...

it shocked you to sleep!

@EricaKane: Yep. The more times ANY publication says "-Maxim" after a reference, the more people will think of it as a legitimate publication and not just 'socially acceptable boobies'.

@curiosity: I often have good luck at the US Catholic Bishops website (USCCB something), where they review movies, and also rate them based on a somewhat different ranking system than the MPAA's system. I like it for a couple of reasons -- first, they TELL you why the rating and are more concerned about things like violence, which bother me (I could give a shit about bare boobs) -- a lot of parents use it because they're more explicit in discussing age-appropriateness. But also because the main reviewer has a super-dry sense of humor that cracks me up. And he's good at distinguishing brainless-but-fun from just plain brainless.

They do rate movies "O" -- morally offensive, and frequently I'm sure most Americans would disagree with that rating. But I find the review of the movie itself typically to be fair even when the movie is rated "O"; the reviews and ratings are kept fairly separate.

I use it a lot to find old movies I've never heard of when I'm looking for something to rent. Whoever does it has a fantastic mental catalog of classic movies.

@cmdr.sass: "You'll be fired... Out of a cannon... Into the sun."

I was bored just reading the list. The good news is that I see a job opening that also gets you into the Maxim parties. Time to polish up the old resume.

Wait, that was a real guy? I thought it was just a bunch of writers under one pseudonym, like Dear Abby or something.

Actually this site is the definitive answer for movie reviews:

[capalert.com]

Sad to see him go. He was an Oscar-tastic disciple of Walter Monheit.

@lincolnparadox: I don't know... Movie critics may only have to suffer for a couple hours at once. Food critics could face much longer lasting pain.

Do not miss this film. (Zodiac)

Zodiac is a film you shouldn't miss! rent it today!

@lincolnparadox: If as a food critic you are eating with hands down, it's gonna get messy.

Don't miss this firing as it is the firing of the year!

A few years ago didn't they discover that there was a "famous" film critic being quoted in newspapers etc. who didn't even exist? And I DID see Hannibal Rising and it was a steaming pile of guano to be sure.

Maxim also needs to stop "reviewing" video games months before they even hit the shelves.

I liked "Dan in Real Life"...

I'm reminded of Sir Winston Churchill's quote - "It is better to be making the news than taking it; to be an actor rather than a critic."

Anyone can be a critic. About anything. All it takes is a minimal ability to string a few clever words together into a coherent sentence. And sometimes not even that.

Anyone else notice that all his movies were must see or else a shocker?

"In The Shadow Of The Moon" really is a great documentary.

All the rest of the movies on the list are crap...