Great Moments In Commercial History: Kinoki Foot Pads

Meet the Kinoki foot pad, a simple patch that can remove “toxins” from your body while you sleep.

What sort of toxins, you ask? Well, the Kinoki foot pad can remove:

  • Heavy Metals
  • Metabolic Wastes
  • Toxins
  • Parasites
  • Chemicals
    and…

  • Cellulite!

How does it work? Well, the pads have “all-natural tree extracts and powerful negative ions,” and um. “When the blood circulates to the soles, the Kinoki Detox Foot Pad can absorb toxins released from the acupuncture points.”

Skeptical? “This independent study proves Kinoki Food pads lower toxic materials in your body! Isn’t that amazing?”

Amazing.

If you’d like to nominate a commercial for our weekly series “Great Moments In Commercial History” send us an email at tips [at] consumerist [dot] com. Be sure to put “Great Moments In Commercial History” in the subject. To see other commercials that have been featured in the series, click here.

Video: The Biggest Medical Scam Since Alex Chiu’s Immortality Device
[Wired]

Comments

Edit Your Comment

  1. Best part of this commercial is about 32 seconds in, when it explains how trees absorb toxins from the air, and push them into the ground through their roots. It’s the tree’s who are poisioning the ground.

    As a side note, the mailing address listed on the commercials, 4057 Highway 9 in Howell NJ is around the corner from my house. It’s a UPS Store.

  2. Rectilinear Propagation says:

    Yes, because people in ancient Japan people were totally using plastic foot pads to remove toxins. It was all the rage in the Edo era!

  3. HOP says:

    when i first saw this on tv, i couldn’t b eleive it…..it took me awhile to stop laughing…at first i thought it was somekinda joke….it scarey, they were serious…..

  4. hah, I saw this commercial last night on comedy central and thought it was a parody ad…guess not

  5. mgyqmb says:

    What in the world is a “toxin”? Is it dangerous? How do you catch it? Wh..what?…THEY’RE IN MY FOOD?????? THEY’RE EVERYWHERE!

  6. darkened says:

    But your telling me now those really weren’t toxins on my foot pads?

  7. mgyqmb says:

    By the way, what in that awful black substance that came off of her feet?

  8. ARPRINCE says:

    Does it cure stingky feet? :)

  9. toddr4fun says:

    according to [www.physicsforums.com], a chemical in the foot pads reacts with your sweat, producing the ‘brown’.

  10. warf0x0r says:

    OMFG, this has to be the single greatest peice of false advertising ever created. I love the references to processes that have “flows”, i.e. trees in order to make you think this works in a similar way. And the dude that says they pulled Asbestos out of his foot!

    However I am saddened that this video did not unite humanity in a quest to destroy advertisment once and for all. I only hope that Billy Mayes can complete his quest. He is, after all, the Neo of Infomercials.

  11. By “toxins” they mean “money” and by “foot” they mean “wallet” and by “while you sleep” they mean “when you call.”

  12. savdavid says:

    Soak a pad in vinegar and put it on your feet. Next morning: instant black and brown pads!! but wait there’s more, order today and I will send you ions!!

  13. jtheletter says:

    I think my favorite part is near the end when they say it provides the body with ‘ions’. Hooray for science buzzwords! Cuz, you know, ions are a singular thing, like apples or blood cells, not simply a charged particle of any sort. I think I’m goign to start marketing my own amazing “ion drink” that tastes surprisingly like salt dissolved in water. ;)

  14. @warf0x0r: Did you notice that the trees flowed into the ground? And I’ve been watering my trees by their roots. No wonder the died.

  15. laserjobs says:

    Must be good stuff, it is FDA registered.

  16. bsalamon says:

    call me nuts, but I would love to see someone actually try it and see what happens

  17. TechnoDestructo says:

    @jtheletter:

    Just think, if I were to ingest a bunch of plutonium, why it would create all sorts of ions in my body!

    Curse the strict controls on nuclear material denying us ready access to this awesome health resource.

  18. mantari says:

    I had no idea that asbestos travels in the bloodstream. (Does it?)

  19. Mr. Gunn says:

    Eyebrows McGee: LOL, you got it. Any time I hear the word “toxin” in a preventative medicine context, I immediately lose all respect for the speaker.

    jtheletter: If it actually tastes like salt, you’re adding too much. You’re supposed to dilute it to nonexistence, because that makes it more powerful homeopathy.

  20. johnva says:

    @jtheletter: Yeah, you have to laugh at the suckers who fall for this kind of pseudo-scientific babble. It would be funnier if it weren’t so sad and scary for the future of our country.

  21. @bsalamon: From what I understand, you get locked into their “free” replacement offer, and it’s hard as hell to get out.

  22. johnva says:

    BTW, where is the government on regulating this kind of thing? A lot of these TV supplement ads lately are REALLY pushing the boundaries of the truth with their claims about being “clinically proven” and such.

  23. floyderdc says:

    I thought this was a joke too. Although I would like to try it just so see what happens. I would also like to get the black stuff tested to see what is in it. Asbestos!? WTF!

  24. @jtheletter: Is it like Brawndo? Cuz that has electrolytes. It’s what plants crave!!

  25. @floyderdc: Well, they don’t say what the actors stepped in before they put the pads on. Perhaps they were walking in their attic, and got some insulation on their feet.

  26. Balisong says:

    I saw this during a Lewis Black special! Talk about marketing to the wrong audience… This commercial makes me so angry at the human race.

  27. duncanfj says:

    It’s very similar to the ionic foot baths alot of spas and naturopathic centers are trying to pawn off on people. My wife had a free foot bath, and it was all I could do to not laugh or holler “bullshit” while the woman was explaining the process. What is really sad is that there are people out there who can’t get their credit cards otu fast enough to order this crap. Yay for our education system.

  28. TechnoDestructo says:

    Seriously, this is the archetype of a snake-oil bullshit ad.

    It’s like they made a checklist of buzzwords and cliches and went down the list as they were writing the ad.

    -Ions!
    -Energy!
    -Toxins!
    -Ancient Japanese (or insert other exotic-to-the-ignorant locale or culture) secret!
    -Fantastical bullshit claims exploiting ignorance of the nature of the problem (cellulite)
    -Fantastical bullshit claims where even THAT wouldn’t be an excuse for believing it (Diabetes?)
    -Independent study! There was a study! STUDIES! (no information about the study, who did it, where to obtain it)
    -Charts and graphs (which don’t even match the numbers given)
    -Don’t use that OLD FASHIONED (also utter bullshit) product, when there’s a NEW AND THEREFORE BETTER way. Exaggerated grimace!
    -Computer graphics illustrating processes that don’t exist
    -Utilizing the word “utilize” instead of “use.”

    What am I missing?

    The only big ones I can think of that aren’t present are “crystals” and “homeopathic.”

  29. IrisMR says:

    I snickered so loud everyone in the office stared at me. :)

  30. TechnoDestructo says:

    Oh, and it’s missing a “THEY don’t want you to know about this!”

  31. @TechnoDestructo: And Kevin Treadu.

  32. bwd1971 says:

    These things remind me of the “Cherokee Hair Tampons” episode from South Park!

  33. Skeptic says:

    Man, proof that some people have no shame!

    More of the “magic” alternative medicine stuff that is akin to the kind of understanding of the human body that 5-year-olds might make up while playing.

    Who knew you could suck fat (“cellulite”) out through the thickest skin in your body? And that your feet are like tree roots, er, tree roots that force toxins into the ground.

    Still, as bad as this is, the one I hate are the “detoxifying” colon cleansers that try and convince you that your colon is “clogged” with “build up”–even though this is a phenomenon unknown to to medical science and actual doctors who, on a daily basis, stick cameras up peoples butts where this alleged build up is supposed to live.

    Help us all. It’s like medieval doctors brought forward in time and given their own TV shows.

  34. aristan says:

    Well, if you’re sick, it may be all the food and water that you breathing. Kinoki helps you not aspirate hamburgers!

  35. jurisenpai says:

    Even the Japanese characters they use in the ad are BS. They use the characters “木樹液” which means “tree tree liquid” and that cannot be pronounced “Kinoki.” They could have at least used “木の気” which would be pronounced “kinoki” and would have made sense! Jeez, scammers these days not even taking the time to do the job right!

  36. BlondeGrlz says:

    @bsalamon: Every time I see this commercial I have the urge to call. Something about infomercials makes me feel the need to BUY IT NOW! This one almost got me because I’m probably full of toxins. And this can SAAAAAAAAAAVE ME.

    Disclaimer: I have never actually ordered anything, so don’t yell at me.

  37. FrankTheTank says:

    Hey, but what about that Mighty Putty.
    That stuff looks AWESOME!!!

  38. Erskine says:

    @savdavid:
    “but wait there’s more, order today and I will send you ions!!”

    Awesome! Send me five!

  39. floyderdc says:

    Toxins, we all have toxins in our body and we need to get them out!!!!!

    Maybe we should call and ask if we can get a link to the study that was done. I would like to see it.

  40. privatejoker75 says:

    the best part of the commercial is when they compare the human doy to a tree and how the tree rids toxens through it’s roots :rofl:

  41. faust1200 says:

    @FrankTheTank: I actually have that putty and it does work. Granted I never tried to haul a semi or lift the rock of Gibraltar with it but it’s good stuff.

  42. NotATool says:

    @Skeptic: “Help us all. It’s like medieval doctors brought forward in time and given their own TV shows.”

    LOL — the funniest line I’ve read all day. Thanks.

  43. NotATool says:

    @TechnoDestructo: And don’t forget this classic infomercial line… “but wait…call now and we’ll throw in a second set of pads FREE!”

  44. jaydez says:

    your money is toxic. They will take all your toxic money from you.

  45. sleepydumbdude says:

    I ordered these to review for my school paper.
    I just love on the commercial they circle random dirt specs and tell me that they are parasites and other crap.

  46. wallspray says:

    how do they get “lighter in color” after days of using them if they just react to sweat?

  47. OnceWasCool says:

    This reminds me of the ear candles. People would stick the rolled up, wax impregnated funnel in their ear and set it on fire. The residue at the bottom when you blow the fire out has the exact chemical makeup and the ear candles. Results: You got suckered out of 2 bucks for parchment paper and a penny’s worth of wax.

    Fools and their money…

  48. jeblis says:

    Any “detox” method is crap.

  49. lucabrazi says:

    You actually had tech “journalists” touting an ionic footbath being marketed at CES. Sitting and soaking their feet made them feel better, you see, so it must work.

  50. @floyderdc: Whenever I get a massage I like to have a black-and-bleu burger and a beer first, just so they have lots of extra toxins to work on.

  51. The illest wind says:

    Actually, the negative ion thing’s sound.
    Same deal as an ioniser, for whatever reason, dirt is usually positively charged. Not that I’m saying this works. Fuck, anyone who advertises like this doesn’t deserve their idea to flourish.

  52. jook says:

    @jurisenpai: Yeah, I noticed that too, in between sniggering at the rest of the commercial, when I saw it on TV. That’s something they could have at least tried to get right without too much effort, right? I mean, ask babelfish or something!

  53. ExtraCelestial says:

    Is it bad that after watching this I totally want to try it? Is it worse that I’m a bio major?

  54. strathmeyer says:

    What, you guys all missed the references to reflexology?

  55. LucyInTheSky says:

    i saw this on tv. i couldn’t stop laughing for ten minutes. i kid you not. This is the dumbest thing i’ve heard in a long time, and believe me, my life is full of stupid crap.

  56. WraithSama says:

    @jurisenpai:

    Wow, I didn’t even notice until you mentioned it.

    Stop using a language for 6 or 7 years and you start forgetting crap.

  57. pivory says:

    Where is David when we need him?! I’d love to see him review this item on “Fight Back! with David Horowitz.”

  58. peteymca says:

    They even misspell a whole bunch of shit. “Alchohol”, not alcohol. Hmm.

  59. Marce says:

    @jurisenpai: Or you could look at the second pair of characters as “sap” (jueki). Tree sap: Good for your feet!

  60. Ghede says:

    When I saw this commercial, I didn’t laugh. It isn’t funny. It just makes me mad. Furious even. In this day and age we still have snake oil salesmen, and the products that aren’t poisonous are potentially deadly all the same. How many people with actual heavy metal poisoning “avoided” treatment with these pads?

  61. bertram says:

    If you want to detox, you have to do it from the inside out, not the outside in, LOL. Try consulting someone who has experience with homeopathy before buying something that sounds too good to be true.

  62. CapitalC says:

    I saw this ad on TV for the first time last week and I laughed so hard. I honestly do feel sorry for any chump who thinks this is legit.

  63. NoStyle says:

    I got free samples of these things once. They feel warm when used, and turn really brown and wet after just putting them on overnight, not even sweating. Smelled sort of like camphor and wood, looked like a used teabag.

    I did not taste it.

  64. MissUpsetter says:

    I’ve actually used products similar to this (not kinoki brand) YEARS ago. As a matter of fact, yeah, I still use them. I don’t know if its a hoax or not…However, I did notice a difference. I have very poor circulation in my feet, and I hold all my stress in my feet…if that makes any sense. Back to the point, I started using a similar product years ago. When I first started, I was told the same thing – use them every night until they’re lightly stained or white. It took about 8 days. They don’t just react to sweat – I thought it was that as well. Anyway, the commercial is stupid, but I’ll keep buying my brand that I like.

    Haters :]

  65. Skeptic says:

    BY MISSUPSETTER AT 12:43 AM
    Haters :]

    Damn straight! This outright fraud deserves serious hate! The backers deserve jail time! And the fraud is soooo blatant that any TV station that runs it should be indicted and their FCC renewal should be put in serious jeopardy.

    We need to make individuals responsible and not let them hide under the protection of a group or company structure. Only jail time will do, fraudsters don’t fear the slap on the wrist fines and refunds that allow them to keep the majority of their profits.

    IMO

  66. Cary says:

    I used kinesiology on the foot pads and found they were bullshit.

    (look it up)

  67. Skeptic says:

    @ CARY

    I dunno, that would only tell you if you were “allergic” to them. But, kinesiology as the suffix “ology” in it so it must be scientific…or at least that’s what an iridologist told me.

  68. jermscentral says:

    To those that noticed the spelling errors with “alchohol” — also notice that “methyl alcohol” is now “methyl alcholol”. That’s an entirely different thing altogether. “That’s an entirely different thing.”

  69. jermscentral says:

    And after checking out the website (www.buykinoki.com), how can I NOT trust someone under the testimonials whose credentials are “Name, Age”?

  70. apotheosis says:

    Damn straight! This outright fraud deserves serious hate! The backers deserve jail time! And the fraud is soooo blatant that any TV station that runs it should be indicted and their FCC renewal should be put in serious jeopardy.

    *applause*

  71. snoop-blog says:

    @wallspray: thats what i want to know.

  72. drewsumer says:

    Ungh. Can you imagine the casting meeting for the role of “woman who does not like her traditional detox method”? What sort of mutants were left of the casting room floor of that one? How does the poor actress feel that she has now been type-cast as a person who looks like they need toxins removed from their body, but are not smart enough to use the MAGICAL FOOTPADS to do so?

    I mean, where’s the CSI or Law and Order guest star role for her?

  73. fergthecat says:

    So, if I use these then does that mean it’s OK for me to go ahead and eat the lead-tainted Chinese toys?

  74. Mr. Gunn says:

    TechnoDestructo: I’ll bet that “toxins” means the evil autism-causing mercury from the vaccines we all got as kids.

  75. Skeptic says:

    BY MR. GUNN AT 01:08 AM
    TechnoDestructo: I’ll bet that “toxins” means the evil autism-causing mercury from the vaccines we all got as kids.

    Could be…lucky for those dead kids who died of polio back the 40s that they never got those dangerous vaccines, never mind that every major epidemiological study has show that there is zero correlation between childhood vaccination and autism.

  76. Blueskylaw says:

    Apply directly to your forehead.

  77. MightyCow says:

    Interestingly, if these actually did remove all those toxins, it would be illegal for you to throw them away, and you’d have to take them to a hazardous waste certified dumping station.