6 Confessions Of An Alamo Car Rental Agent

After reading these six confessions of a current Alamo car rental agent, you will learn:

  • The commission hungry mindset of a car-rental agent
  • How they’re always trying to get you to do unnecessary upgrades
  • How the cost of these upgrades are discretionary, and therefore, negotiable
  • What a “deeker” is
  • But most of all, you will learn just how much, for at least this Alamo agent, you are his absolute adversary in his battle to get you spring for costly upgrades and beef up his bonuses.

    6. IT’S A SALES JOB
    First I’d like to let the cat out of the bag. Yes, we car rental agents do work for commissions! If we can get you to pay more for an upgrade, insurance, gasoline, a GPS, even an additional driver, we get a cut of the extra charges.

    5. I HATE “DEEKERS”
    At Alamo Rent A Car in [redacted], we are handsomely rewarded for good sales and punished if our sales are poor. The pressure this environment produces leads many of us to fine tune our skills to not only offer extras effectively and to have comebacks to all customer rejections, but to also be able to identify the customers in line as to whether they are buyers or decliners, which we call “deekers”. When a customer declines everything you’ve offered, you’ve been “deeked”. Get deeked enough times by a certain type of customer and you begin to feel resentment towards that group. Sometimes a customer can’t be identified as a buyer or deeker until you see the state or country of the driver license. Evidently some states and countries produce more deekers than others. Deekers may at times be legitimate but often they are just cheap people.

    4. CHEAP PEOPLE CAN’T FULLY ENJOY A VACATION
    A typical example of a deeker is the young couple with two kids, a 3-year old and a 10-month old, on-line with strollers and packing their own child safety seats. He produces his license and credit card but she does all the talking. Offer them a more comfortable or fun vehicle than the sub-compact they have reserved and she will cut you off with a “no”. She will also cut you off when you offer her the peace of mind that the insurance will give her or the convenience of prepaying for the gasoline at a discounted rate. Of course there’s also a “no” to the GPS because she’ll raise the stack of MapQuest printouts in her folder. Listening in silence is the helpless husband as he looks on while imagining driving a sporty SUV instead of the tiny economy car reserved. Enough of these deekers and you may find yourself working in the exit booth of the garage the following month. This punishment can cost you thousands of dollars!

    3. TO ALL YOU DEEKERS
    First of all, you wonder how this family can fully enjoy its vacation. They are staying in a cheap motel far from the theme parks. The couple’s freedom to roam the theme parks with the kids and the strollers is limited. The kids are too young to have future memories of this trip anyway. You even wonder how this cheap couple is going to eat while on vacation. Are they going to smuggle peanut butter and jelly sandwiches into the theme parks to avoid paying the high priced foods there or are they just going to go hungry? Here’s a suggestion to those of you that fit this customer profile, leave the kids at home! Leave them with grandma or Aunt Betty and enjoy your vacation! Let your husband drive the SUV he’d like or treat yourselves to a convertible! Wander the theme parks freely and enjoy greater intimacy in a nicer hotel located closer to the parks. You’ll enjoy your vacation more and you will help me feed my family!

    2. I AM ROLLING IN THE SCRIZZLE
    I was a manager with Alamo and I quit to become a rental agent. Why? For the money. When I realized that the average rental agent was making far more than I was and agents didn’t have to put up with the stress and responsibilities of management, I resigned. As a part-time agent, I am now making more than 3 times what I was making as a full-time manager! Aside from my modest $8 hourly rate, I’m receiving about $4000 a month during the low season in sales commissions alone! I can’t wait for the high season to begin to see how much I’ll be raking in. I’m not among the best sales agents but believe it or not, the better ones make six figures. Even some part-timers are earning six figures or close to it. So now you can understand how one too many deekers can have us assigned to the exit booth in the garage and cost us thousands.

    1. I WILL CHARGE YOU FOR THE UPGRADE FOR WHATEVER PRICE I CAN GET AWAY WITH
    AKA I LOVE BRITS
    If we make so much money, obviously many customers are paying more for our extras. Thank you very much! In particular, we love our UK customers which we affectionately call “the Brits”. When the Virgin and British Airways flights are in, the Alamo counter is full of agents. The Brits are fun folks and love upgrades. We Alamo rental agents have autonomy when it comes to the price of upgrades. There is a minimum which we must adhere to, usually $11 per day, but we can raise it to whatever we believe the customer is willing to pay. If the Brit wants an SUV instead of the midsize sedan reserved, we may charge him $11 more per day or maybe even $99 more per day. Even better, many Brits have long term rentals, 2, 3, 4 weeks or longer. The longer the rental, the better for us if the customer buys something. For instance, an upgrade of $49 per day for a 3-week rental equals a total of $1029. If the agent can average just one or two sales like this per day, he/she will get a 15% cut of the upgrade sales alone. For this one sale, that means $154.35 commission. Add 15% for all the upgrades for the month, plus say 12% of all the insurance sold, plus 4% for all the gasoline sold, plus 10% for all the GPS sold, and more for all the additional driver charges, and you’ve got yourself a pretty commission payout check for the month. Monthly commission payouts of over 10 and 15 thousand dollars are not uncommon to the top agents. Again, thank you very much to the buying customers, you are good sports.

    (Photo: oliliqui)

Comments

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  1. brent_w says:

    He managed to make his “confessions” into an advertisement for all the upgrades they offer.

    Shameless.

    And now I know why they never have the car I ‘reserved’ when I arive at the agency.

    The dirty liars are just trying to railroad me into a different car. (which I never have and never will pay for)

  2. Meeker says:

    Wow soo I’m not the only one who felt that this so called confession was more a rationalizing how to screw the customer…

    That said, some of us like driving the smaller cars and hate the SUV’s….

    • stands2reason says:

      @Meeker:

      No. And is it just me, or does this confessor come off as a loser that is just angry at any missed opportunity to rip someone off.

      I mean who would *possibly* want to ruin their vacation by not having a gas guzzling SUV, or have a stress-induced haeart attack because their rental is not double-insured, or not want to rent a GPS unit when you can buy one on amazon.com (or bring the one you already have).

  3. kelptocratic says:

    What a shameless slimeball. Just when you think the car rental business couldn’t get any shadier, chumps like this come along. What was the point of this anyway?

    “Hi! I’m a dick that works at a company full of dicks. Here’s how we like to dick you over! Also, if you don’t buy into our up-selling bullshit, you’re cheap and your family hates you.”

  4. catcherintheeye says:

    Yeah, I agree – this guy comes off as a total sleaze and makes all rental agents seem like greedy assholes.

  5. Ok I’m a “Deeker” and this guy is an “assclown.”

  6. punkrawka says:

    Funny how he doesn’t mention that the insurance is a total scam since the vast majority of drivers already are covered through their standard auto insurance and/or credit card.

    I’m proud to be a deeker!

  7. El_Guapo says:

    Wait a second – this guy wants the average consumer to violate their vacation budgets so he can rake in a nice commission? How dare we be thrifty and pass on unesscary upgrades? Here’s my retort:

    1) It’s my money, and my vacation. Not yours.
    2) I’ve never rented a car from Alamo, and I doubt I will now. Who wants to put up with that kind of high-pressure sales crap?

    Christ, this guy sounds like a real douchebag.

  8. esqdork says:

    This guy is a douche. Deekers are cheap? Maybe they are smart about declining your upgrades especially since you get to name whatever price you can get away with. P.S. I have a portable GPS, so I’m not buying yours.

  9. forgottenpassword says:

    UGH! I just love how this A-hole implies that cheap people are horrible (basically because he hates them & he cant make a shitload of money off of them). Screw you, you greedy commission-hungry A-hole! I hope you are forever banished to the garage exit booth… you seem to deserve it.

    I went to england on the cheap in 2002. Got a cheap airline ticket,stayed in a cheap hotel chain, cheap econojob rental car etc. etc.. It was great fun! I went there to see the country, not visit theme parks. Even though it was on the cheap…. the exchange rate was horrible, had I gone all out (like this prick car-rental-monkey suggests) I would have spent a small fortune!

  10. DeeJayQueue says:

    Because money makes the world go round, and without spending shitloads of money nobody can enjoy anything ever. Douche.

    Want me to empathize about taking food off your plate? Go be a teacher or a doctor or some worthwhile profession. Otherwise I hope you get “deeked” into the unemployment line you shetbag.

  11. Buran says:

    I don’t care what this guy thinks of me. If he thinks I’m scum for not needing extra insurance, already owning a GPS, not wanting to waste gas, and for making rude assumptions about whether or not I will enjoy my trip due to driving a subcompact, he’s an asshole.

    I do not need an SUV. I do not need a polluting gas-guzzling POS. I paid good money for my Garmin GPS. My car insurance covers me for rentals.

    Don’t like it? Shove it, I don’t care about you. I make half what you make and I don’t lord it over other people like you do, jerk.

    Just goes to show that money often really does breed smug attitude.

  12. picardia says:

    This has made me committed to being a Deeker for life.

  13. lawnmowerdeth says:

    People shouldn’t go on vacation because they don’t want to pad your commission check? I don’t feel bad for you at all.

  14. thepassenger says:

    I have always operated on the assumption that every car rental agent is trying to scam me or otherwise get me to pay more than I want to, so it’s nice to have some confirmation of this.

  15. mgyqmb says:

    I find it ridiculous to assume that individuals who don’t collapse to your sales pitches for useless addons (GPS being one of them) aren’t going to “enjoy their vacation”.

    It’s dishonest. You don’t know the people who are renting from you, and any suggestions that they will regret not paying YOU more money is just playing off of their fears.

    These ‘confessions’ are a joke.

  16. luckybob343 says:

    In response to #3:

    I am the oldest of three children and I grew up on the border between poor and lower middle class. The one time my family ever went on a “big vacation” was a trip to Disneyworld when I was 10. We DID smuggle sandwiches and juice boxes into the theme parks and we stayed in a motel 10 miles from the park where we made our own meals and stayed in one room. Had we not done this, we would have never been able to go.

    Why did my parents take this route rather than “leave us with Aunt Edna” so they could “enjoy” themselves? Because the fun of a vacation is not to cruise around in a poorly-maintained rental SUV with a GPS unit, it is (at least in our family) to enjoy things as a family.

    I’ve worked commission at several past jobs. That the author would even ATTEMPT to equate vacation pleasure with rental car upgrades and add-ons in an attempt to boost his numbers (and the obvious low self esteem that comes with being a retail manager) only serves to reinforce the negative ideas most of the world has about the rental car business.

  17. Odwalla says:

    If I decline stuff I don’t need he resents me. Why? Is it because I’m not paying through the nose for useless upgrades and, therefore, lining his pockets?

    So be it. If he wants me to spend more money he should get Alamo to offer services I’m interested in. If he wants more money then he should find another line of work. My ability to use my intelligence to decide what I want and how I spend my money isn’t the problem. I don’t go into a car rental place thinking, “How much should I give this poor, downtrodden salary-man to make his life better?” He sure seems to think that’s the attitude I should have, though.

  18. CaptainSemantics says:

    @DeeJayQueue: And I was hoping there would be an additional “betch” in your comment…

    And excellent point about doing a worthwhile profession. Maybe teachers should be getting his commission.

  19. mulescent says:

    Some guy berating customers for passing on ridiculously expensive gas, SUVs and GPS modules so that he can earn six figures for renting cars is not a confession. I feel the urge to email-bomb the CEOs at Consumerist and demand a refund for my 3 minutes of attention….

  20. MalcoveMagnesia says:

    If you have a membership in Hertz #1 Club Gold, the Hertz bus drops you off in front of a big board of names. Find your name, get in the car and drive off the lot. You need never mess with a sleazy sales-”agent”.

    p.s. (“Hertz Gold” membership supposedly has some kind of yearly charge but I’ve never paid a dime for the privilege, nor have I heard of anyone else paying for it).

  21. AD8BC says:

    I get my upgrades for free at National anyway (Emerald Executive level) so i always get to pick a nice gas guzzler.

    I’m guessing that, although the location was redacted, I belive the a$$hole who leaked this information works at Orlando, because he loves the Brits. And, from what I remember when I was working in England, the Brits love Disney World.

  22. Murph1908 says:

    Worst…confession…ever.

    This wasn’t a confession. This was berating the people who don’t fall for his crap.

    Here’s a clue, asshat. If any of the shit you were pushing was worth anything, you wouldn’t have to push it.

    “Save money by prepaying gas!” (as long as you return it with less than 5% of the tank left).

    Sorry, but perhaps the people who rented the smaller car know better than you what they require for their use and their comfort.

  23. CaptainSemantics says:

    Now I thinking that I want to find him, and pretend to be British while standing in line. (I can do a decent accent, yay voice class!) Right when I get up to him, pull the switcheroo and screw him out of a job.

  24. Silversmok3 says:

    Heres a suggestion:

    How about we just drive our own cars to places?You know, the one you haggled with the used car sales guy in the cheap suit to buy?
    Besides roadtrips are a lot more fun,theres no airport security, and you don’t have to deal with commissioned tools like this guy at the rental counter.

  25. fordpickup says:

    Why would anyone who still works in this industry willingly share this with a site like Consumerist? Seems to me like you’d breed more “Deekers” that way.

    WTF, Deekers? That term begs to be mocked.

  26. outofoffice says:

    The Alamo agent is guilty of the type of greedy affliction that overtakes many who live and work for commission in the service industry, I once went through that phase in my career but was willing to earn less to not have to live with the guilt I sometimes felt selling a product or service that I knew was unnecessary.

    Hope our friend at Alamo someday reaches the same conclusion and in the meantime realizes that there are plenty of us Deeker’s out there who take great joy in denying a commissioned rep the ability to screw us.

  27. backbroken says:

    Next time I am tempted to spend quality time with my 3 year old and 10 month old, I’ll reconsider so as to not inconvenience my $100,000 rental car salesperson. Thanks for that valuable tip.

  28. DrGirlfriend says:

    I appreciate insiders letting people in to their trade secrets, but guys like this shouldn’t be given a forum. He’s not saying anything that anyone who has rented a car before did not at least suspect. And on top of that, he is being a gigantic douche about it.

    If I read about how people are out to get me, I’d appreciate it if the person delivering the information at least didn’t sound so gleeful about it.

  29. Prince of Zemunda says:

    Did you all post this so we will avoid Alamo?!? Well you have done a good job!!!! This is a rant about “how good of a salesman I am” and “People are cheap for not putting money in my pockets”. Of course “The Brits” are going to spend more; their money is twice as much over here. Even so why the hell am I going to waste money on a car that is not mine? Take your jackassery elsewhere please!

  30. brent_w says:

    @CaptainSemantics:

    I want to give him an ultimatum.

    “I either want the smallest cheapest car you’ve got with no
    upgrades, or I want every single upgrade you offer … for exactly $11
    dollars each.”

  31. The Stork says:

    “You even wonder how this cheap couple is going to eat while on vacation.”

    Well, it could be that they spend all the money they didn’t waste on useless rental upgrades and gas-guzzling SUVs on delicious food that they’ll enjoy far more than a rental car with a GPS that they don’t need. Just a guess.

  32. El_Guapo says:

    @Murph1908:

    Agreed. This seemed like less of a confession, and more like a gloating session by a dick-eating douchenozzle.

    @mulescent:

    Think of it as the enemy telling you their battle plan. If you have to rent a car from some of their kind, you know whats afoot.

  33. nweaver says:

    As a “Deeker”, Get Bent.

    For the most part, you are trying to sell things that I don’t need. My credit card handles the insurance coverage, its far more stressful to try to return a tank bone dry in an attempt to save $5, and if you don’t have a car thats interesting (“Sporty SUV is a misnomer, and if your convertible is a Seabring, that is a car so sexless it can be an abstanace-only education aid”), I’ll stick with the econobox that actually gets me from Pt A to pt B.

    Whats shocking is the notion of just how high the commisions are. To get a $4k commission, you have to sell >$40K in mostly useless stuff in a month, as a part time worker. Amazing.

    On the other hand, since you only get 10% or so, if I slip you a buck will you promise not to try to upsell me?

  34. ? graffiksguru says:

    DEEKER 4 life baby

  35. homerjay says:

    But but but! The peace of mind! The convenience! The DISCOUNTED GAS??? Ummm.. no… I usually have no problem with the silly things you post, Ben. I usually enjoy them. But this is just plain stoooopid.
    Why would you post this??

  36. Alexander says:

    What a complete and total douche.

  37. jamesdenver says:

    One of the reasons my preference for travel is cities i which I can walk and use public transportation…

  38. jeffj-nj says:

    Okay, honestly, you gotta give him one thing. He’s right about the cheapo vacation. If you can’t afford to rent a decent (not extravagant, but certainly decent – and an econobox with two kids, one in a stroller, is not decent) car or stay at a decent hotel (again, not extravagant, but not a motel either if you’re a party of four) close to where you’re going, you can’t afford that vacation. I’m sorry, but he’s absolutely right. Save up another year and go when you have enough of a budget to relax and be comfortable. Otherwise, it really just isn’t a vacation.

    My friend, for example, is getting married in a few months. They are not going to honeymoon right after because, in his words, he “can afford it”, but with all the expense of the wedding right behind them, he knows he’ll thinking about every meal and whether they really need dessert or one more drink. So, they’re going to wait until they’ve recovered a little financially, and then go, not having to count dollars here or pinch pennies there – nothing extravagant, but nothing budgeted either.

    And, he’s absolutely right. I bet he has a lot more fun for only a little more dough.

    So, for point #3 above, I’m going to agree with this guy. Otherwise, yeah, total jerk.

  39. Parting says:

    Thank you for helping me being a guilt-free ”deeker”

    I’m not going to encourage a scumbag who makes 4k a month.

  40. Jim says:

    Traveling with the kids is enjoyable for some. I would have no legitimate reason to go to a theme park without them, and I would have little desire to go most places without them. You pick being soulless, I pick parenting. If that means you’re the awesomest car rental guy ever and I’m a cheap jerk, I’ll stick with my choice.

    Most of the car rental agents I know are borderline suicidal. Last time I was at Enterprise I heard:

    “Welcome to Enterprise, where we pick up our customers and smash our employees’ dreams.”

    “‘How are you?’ ‘Livin’ the dream!…Not mine, someone elses’.”

    “It’s a great day here at Enterprise. They told us in the meeting.”

    And so forth. Sounds like a bunch of cool guys loving their fat commissions to me!

  41. jamesdenver says:

    The only time I ever thought it would be wise to purchase additional insurance was when I rented a car to go driving around the Yucatan Peninsula.

    Also anytime I rent my camera phone is my best friend. I take pics of all dings and nicks with the rental car place, (and often the agent handing me the keys,) in the shot.

  42. humphrmi says:

    This guy equates a “fun vacation” with driving an expensive, over-insured car. What a DB.

    Fun vacations are where you spend time with your family, relaxing, after renting as little car as you need from an obedient and mostly-silent rental car agent.

  43. se7a7n7 says:

    Maybe the deekers decline all the extra crap so they can have more money to enjoy their vacation. The dollars they don’t spend on crap insurance and upgrades they can spend on food and hotels, d-wad.

  44. Buran says:

    @Silversmok3: I got my car on the net from a really cool salesguy who really loves VWs and knew his stuff and got me the price he gives to all the VW people coming from the group I came from. THAT’S the way to buy a car.

  45. stephenjames716 says:

    what an a-hole

  46. jamesdenver says:

    @Jim: “You pick being soulless, I pick parenting.”

    Sorry for the 3rd post in a row, but what the fuck type of statement is that.

  47. forgottenpassword says:

    @homerjay:

    Hey! I LOVE this thread! The best one in a while! Its highly entertaining (the “confessions” & even better… the comments). It also confirms how incredibly slimy car rental salesmen can be.

    I say well done ben!

  48. AD8BC says:

    I wanna get a “Deeker” T-shirt made. And wear it every time.

  49. joeblevins says:

    I am a deeker as well. Heck, I am an Avis guy, the bus drops me off at my car. I don’t even have to talk to anyone unless there is trouble.

    The one time I had forgotten my GPS last year, the one they offered was pretty much just a very old cell phone with GPS function. It sucked ass. I now carry my Garmin when I travel out of town.

    Decline everything and just fill up at the gas station just before the rental lot. Keep the reciept to show the guy checking you in. Never had an issue when I had the reciept.

  50. StinkyCat says:

    God forbid we expect a business to act like a business and try to maximize revenue by selling us things we don’t want and don’t overly need.

    I like to focus on thoise business that cheap, steal and or prey upon people. As for tha Alamos of the world, I rely on good research of the product and myh own ability to say “no thank you”

  51. waydownriver says:

    As a deeker in general, I’d like to raise the possibility that insurance is not a scam, and might be beneficial in the peace of mind it could bring.

    If you’re relying on your credit card to cover the insurance, read the fine print in both your credit card contract and the rental contract. After my using my Amex to rent a car and declining the insurance, the car was rendered inoperable by an attempted theft.

    Towing charges, loss of use (can be many days!), “administrative” fees were all outlined in the rental contract and specifically excluded from Amex’s coverage. I ended up paying hundreds of dollars despite my credit card “insurance.”

    Sorry Amex, I think I might pay the $9 a day collision coverage so not to have to deal with that again.

  52. backbroken says:

    BTW…no way this guy makes anywhere close to the amount of money he claims.

    I’m glad Consumerist posted this though. Very entertaining and worthwhile to know that I should ignore Alamo from now on.

    • jakihix says:

      they do there in orlando. i worked there. i worked 3 days a week too. the reason is only because its the largest location and its a huge vacation spot. the amount of rentals that comes through there is huge. i do want to say it not because of “the agent sharks” there are a few everywhere…every store….any business but they wont last and will be fired. Alamo since bought by enterprise has one goal and its customer service. In my 23 years of car rental ive never worked for a company that has had suck a 24-7 campaign of having this goal and i love it. it makes the job about the renter and not about the company

  53. winstonthorne says:

    There once was an agent named Leaker
    As charming as my dirty sneaker
    His commissions were stellar,
    (That snake-oil seller)
    Thank goodness that I am a “deeker!”

  54. jeffj-nj says:

    To clarify, I’m not saying that a good vacation costs a lot of money. You can easily have fun on any budget. Come to think of it, I remember having a lot of fun cramming my family of 7 into one room with 2 beds on a particular vacation.

    And, of course, often times, you can get by just fine on the car, hotel, whatever you already picked ahead of time. But there are certain occasions when maybe an upgrade here and there will add some comfort and reduce some stress.

    Pre-paid gas? Useless insurance? No. But a mid-size instead of an economy when you know you’ll wind up stuck in traffic getting in to and out of the park? Well, yeah.

  55. forever_knight says:

    some of the richest people i know are “deekers”

  56. savvy999 says:

    Rental-car DEEKERs unite!

    Credit-card NON-PROFITs cheer!

    I’d like to know what else sordid businesses call us.

  57. dgcaste says:

    I’m glad I finally found a word to describe my purchasing habits.

  58. thekicker says:

    Wow, just wow. This person is similar to a stereotypical “used car salesman.” Sleazy and just looking for all kinds of ways to squeeze you dry of money. But I think this is even lower on the totem pole. A “rental car salesman.”

    I’m a “deeker.” But my insurance covers rental cars, I have my own Garmin GPS unit that I take with me, and I have no kids for car seats. All I want to do is rental a car that is easy to park and doesn’t require much gas. I’m in an area I don’t really know and I’d like to be able to maneuver well, and not have to find gas stations.

    You’re a whiny car rental salesperson. Get a job with a high paying fixed income if you hate commission so much. Stop trying to screw people for a living.

  59. loganmo says:

    I have a Nav built into my car and like to get one on rentals since I just have gotten so used to having it-but Enterprise, at least, is always out of them when I want it!!! I never end up paying for upgrades at airports-I refuse it at the counter and 8/10 will get one for free when I get to the garage agent with the actual cars. Last year, again with Enterprise, I had a compact reservation. the desk agent asked me if I wanted to pay for an upgrade to a midsize…I told him no thanks. When I get to the garage, the only cars they even had available were a couple SUV’s, a full-size, and a mustang covertible. I was told that I could have any of them for no extra charge since they ran out of my car type-it was summer so I took the ‘stang, of course. Had I agreed to pay for the upgrade, I would have paid for something I would have gotten for free anyways-never agree to an upgrade until you see what cars are actually there!

  60. @jeffj-nj: Oh please. My sister and I rented a Nissan Micra in Ireland, in which we barely fit, to save some euros, and the tiny-ass car was part of the fun — neither of us had ever BEEN in anything that tiny!

    And I’ve been 17 hours cross-country in an econobox with five people. You don’t die from it. You get to spend the bucks on a worthwhile family vacation instead of wasting it on the boring car part.

    @humphrmi: “Fun vacations are where you spend time with your family, relaxing, after renting as little car as you need from an obedient and mostly-silent rental car agent.”

    Yeah, what he said.

  61. @jeffj-nj: Okay, now that’s a fair statement. :)

  62. noonan310 says:

    This person is clearly an a-hole. He is the rental car equivalent of the cell phone or used car salesman. I worked for a rental car company right after college becuase it is the best way to get entry level sale experience (or sell copiers) before moving on to pharmaceuticals or the like. I made great money and can say I tried to never screw anyone on an upgrade or such. We did sometimes run out of cars and you can never satisfy everyone. We posted our rates for upgrades, never gave the hard sell on the insurance and told them the gas option (if you bring it back with less than you got, you pay $1 more per gallon than it costs at the gas station)- it is a business.

    Also, in certain circumstances the “additional insurance” is not a rip off even if you have your own insurance. I worked in a major city. If someone was coming into town for 3 days the “insurance” would be about $30 extra TOTAL. What would your deductible be if you had a fender bender, or the windshield cracks? Is the $30 worth the piece of mind for people who will worry about the car on the street or in the parking garage or with the valet?

    Finally, the people who fall for these upgrades and can’t keep to there own budgets are as much to blame for the increased cost as the inscrupulous sales person like this one.

  63. FessLove says:

    Wow, what a douche

  64. MikeB says:

    @Silversmok3: Shudder…. Actually I love to drive and have done so on many occasions. But driving with 2 small kids is not fun.

  65. Zimorodok says:

    His company pays him a 4% commission on gas, plus their own markup, and he expects us to believe this is a better deal than the gas station on the corner? (Who, if you ask any gas station owner, only have a 3-4% markup anyway.) Please!

    Cry me a river.

  66. gamehendge2000 says:

    Why are you even posting this nonsense?

    @JEFFJ-NJ

    Welcome to the douchebag club. Choosing how and where to spend your money has no bearing on whether you can or cannot afford a vacation

  67. Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg says:

    Let me to explain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up.

    6. I get paid more if I sell more extras!
    5. I hate people who don’t buy extras
    4. Here’s an example of people who don’t buy extras
    3. Don’t be a person who doesn’t buy extras
    2. I get paid a lot because I sell lots of extras!
    1. I can charge as much as I like for extras, so I can make even more money!

    So I can’t help but wonder – was this article posted to actually provide valuable information to us consumers? Because the only things I learned from it are 1) Alamo agents can and will overcharge as much as they think they can get away with for “extras,” and 2) The author is the King of All Douchebags.

  68. homerjay says:

    @forgottenpassword: Oh, well, if we’re looking for entertainment value then yeah, its certainly got gobs of that- but really, “Confessions” in the headline probably should have been in quotes.

    And do we really need confirmation that car salesmen are slimy?

  69. PropCulture says:

    Why is something like this on Consumerist?

  70. homerjay says:

    I think the biggest questions are, Where did you get this info and why is he not defending his ‘confessions?”

  71. FessLove says:

    Makes me want to go rent a small compact car with no features, just in hoping that I get to screw this guys sales numbers up for the month.

  72. wimpkins says:

    Orlando sucks, it’s official.

  73. BugMeNot2 says:

    deeker deeker deeker deeker!

  74. KillingMyBrainCells says:

    This is why I reserve my car on-line! The only thing they have asked me (this being Budget) is if I want insurance and to pre pay for gas, I tell them no thank you and thats it

  75. crazyflanger says:

    This is why ‘deekers’ exsist. Enough douche bag sales people sell you stuff you don’t need and eventually you will get to the point where you won’t even consider the slightest upsell.

  76. Dawnrazor says:

    Another “deeker” for life here. I actually derive some pleasure from leading on these sales douchebags by listening attentively to their pitch, then repeatedly and forcefully (if necessary) declining their offers with a smile and hopefully some panache! If they are going to endlessly waste my time when I know exactly what I want (and am ready to pay), I figure it is only fair to return the favor (all the better if I keep them past closing time!). On a few occasions the sales jerks became obviously frustrated and angry in response, and I became smug and satisfied. I find sales people to be generally useless (I usually have done research and know more about the product and/or service than they do), and quite often shallow, objectionable people in general. This article quite nicely reinforces this, thank you. I am happier now than ever to be a “tightwad”, and no, you will not manipulate me into spending more than I planned as my wife and I ALWAYS finalize our decision regarding purchases BEFORE we get to the POS and speak with one mind and voice when we do battle with sales staff. Salespeople such as this guy seem to be the rule rather than the exception IME, hence the reason I prefer to do as many purchases/reservations as possible online and without having to deal with douchebags such as this guy. BTW, we ALWAYS have a great time on vacation, even without (gasp!) GPS, rip-off insurance, or the “peace of mind” that comes from prepaying for gas.

  77. motoraway says:

    “You’ll enjoy your vacation more and you will help me feed my family!”

    Silly me! I thought vacation was for me to enjoy myself, not feed your family because you choose to work at an auto rental agency.

  78. GothamGal says:

    You could give me a free upgrade to an SUV, and I would insist that I want the small car. I hate gas guzzlers.

    He does have a point about leaving the kids at home. Just imagine how much more enjoyable plane rides would be if they were childless.

  79. strathmeyer says:

    @PropCulture: You’re right, I would rather shop at Alamo without this information.

  80. savdavid says:

    Cheap? Just because a person doesn’t want to pay for things he doesn’t need? I think you are an idiot.

  81. theysaidwhat says:

    So he’s confirmed his position as a complete misogynist, or at the very least extremely fearful and therefor resentful towards women with half a brain.

    Go Alamo!

  82. louiedog says:

    This was ridiculous. You should have posted this as an insight into the mind of a desperate salesperson rather than a confession. He think he has people all figured out when he’s really just bitter than his product isn’t quite what he thinks it is.

    I like to enjoy myself and my vacation. If I rent a subcompact and don’t want to upgrade to something I don’t need, it’s not because I’m cheap and won’t enjoy myself. It’s because I AM staying at the theme park and I’ll barely be driving. Why would I want to upgrade to something luxurious if I was going to be shuttled around by the park for the entire trip? If I only need to go short distances because I’m staying in the park, why do I need a GPS? For some vacations, the car is the least important part. Besides, lately I’ve been using Enterprise because I get a corporate discount with every bit of insurance included. I always book something cheap and get upgraded to something much better for free. Somehow, their sales people seem to be friendly and want to help me even though I’m not spending another dime.

  83. fluiddruid says:

    “You’ll enjoy your vacation more and you will help me feed my family!”

    “I’m not among the best sales agents but believe it or not, the better ones make six figures.”

    ??????

  84. esthermofet says:

    Sounds like he’s awfully unhappy with his job. That’s a good enough reason to seek out a new job.

    There are many things in this confession that are bothersome, but I’ll just hit the biggest message: who are you to tell me what I will or won’t enjoy about my vacation? If I choose to have the cheapest, subcompact, three-cylinder tin can with manual windows and no AC, that’s my choice. If I say, “No, thank you.” then it’s the end of the sales pitch. Yes, I know it’s your job to try to sell something more expensive, but it’s my choice to spend my money the way I choose to.

  85. Xerloq says:

    Seems some of the recent “confessions” haven’t been anything useful. I remember when these actually helped consumer navigate companies to get better deals/service/products.

    I’m now a deeker for life and the OP is a deek.

  86. Illusio26 says:

    I seriously thought this “confession” was a joke and kept waiting for the punchline at the end.

    Turns out this guy is just a asshat. Who goes on vacation and pisses extra money away on car extras. Unless you are doing a long road trip, take a look at what percentage of your trip will actually be spent in the car. why would I pay extra for something that will just be sitting in a parking lot most of my trip?

    This guy just convinced me to never rent from alamo.

  87. PropCulture says:

    @strathmeyer: Good point. I think I was blinded by rage when I typed that.

  88. cmdr.sass says:

    This reads like a hit piece crafted by someone working for Hertz or Avis.

  89. jimconsumer says:

    @esqdork: You said, “Maybe they are smart about declining your upgrades especially since you get to name whatever price you can get away with.”

    Exactly what I was thinking. If they ran a legitimate company with fair, fixed prices that applied to everyone, maybe more of us would spring for some upgrades. I always love it when sales people bitch about “cheap” customers. Hey, punk, be happy you have customers at all. Without us, you wouldn’t have a job.

  90. theblackdog says:

    @Silversmok3: I live in DC, my parents live in Phoenix, it’s about 25 hours to drive to see them, so it’s just a wee bit too far for me to justify driving over flying ;-)

  91. WraithSama says:

    @TinyBug:

    That was a very succinct summary.

  92. ancientsociety says:

    As someone who rents cars (from Enterprise BTW – NEVER any hassle there) and makes 1/3 your annual salary, go F yourself, douchebag.

    Thanks for the “confession”, now I know NEVER to rent from Alamo!

    @jeffj-nj: There’s absolutely NOTHING wrong with taking a “cheap” vacation. My wife and I took Rt66 from Chicago to LA for 2 weeks, stayed in cheapo independent motels, went to dozens of free attractions, and spent ~$3000 total (that includes a rental car BTW). We had the time of our lives.

    My wife and her friend also just went to San Fransisco last Sept. for 5 days, stayed in a hostel, and spent ~$500 (including airfare). She had a great time there as well.

  93. AD8BC says:

    @GothamGal: I like renting gas guzzlers. But only when my employeris paying for the gas.

  94. GearheadGeek says:

    The real truth that he didn’t mention is that most rental car inventory is midsized to fullsize, with a few compacts and a few luxury and SUV and “specialty” models(convertibles, etc.)

    Reserve the smallest, cheapest vehicle that meets your needs. Expect to get that. If that’s a compact, most of the time you’re going to end up with a free upgrade as long as you reject the upsell, because they don’t have any of the compacts. They’re trying to get you to pay for their inability to supply what you reserved, when they’re perfectly willing to upgrade you a class or two because that’s all they have available.

    Insurance: Check what is really covered with your credit card or with your own car insurance. If you travel a lot, it might be worth a little extra coverage on your personal auto policy if that’s not included from your insurer, but if you use the right card I’m guessing that most of the time you’re just giving away money on the LDW from the rental agency. You wouldn’t buy insurance from a car DEALER, why would you buy it from a rental agency? They’re selling the insurance because it’s a profit center for them, not because they want to look out for you.

    Finally, this asswipe’s personal definition of “good sports” is “suckers.”

  95. startertan says:

    @fesslove: This guy (not fesslove, the Confessions OP) is one giant Autumn mist douche. I was all excited when I saw the headline but this is just pure garbage. The last confessions from a car rental was MUCH better. Tips like saying you’re from an insurance company, etc. This is just bullshit and this is the first time I’ve really been dissappointed in something the consumerist has posted. =(

  96. startertan says:

    I’m retracting what I said above, the guy is still a douche but I see now that it’s posted to show us how big of scumbags some of these rental places are. Sorry for the rant.

  97. GothamGal says:

    @ad8bc:

    Why? You enjoy polluting the environment? You need a bike.

  98. Jim says:

    @jamesdenver: Surrounding the line you selected, I state that I like traveling with my kids, and that I prefer being a cheap jerk to being the coolest car rental guy ever.

    I didn’t think it was unclear that his assumption in the OP that I would enjoy my vacation more without the kids was subjective. Where he chooses to be a soulless money-taker, I choose to be a tightwad parent.

  99. gorckat says:

    What a douchenozzle. Fuck him. I’ll deek all I want.

  100. AbsoluteIrrelevance says:

    Please don’t let this douche act as a representative of rental agents everywhere. Not even CLOSE to everyone thinks this way (I have a few friends that are agents and they, and no one they work with, take this point of view.) The only people that my agent friends outright dislike are 1) a-holes that try to act tough in front of their trophy girlfriends. 2) People that threaten to go to a competitor because their walk-up attempt to rent a car did not meet their extreme specifications, ie: Mustang convertible. My friends stay in the office, after hours, without pay, to help people that really need a car.

  101. AbsoluteIrrelevance says:

    @gorckat: I love the word “douchenozzle.”

  102. Echodork says:

    Oh god, shut the fuck up.

    Isn’t this site basically dedicated to the deeker lifestyle?

  103. mkt3000 says:

    Wow. Judging by the “I LOVE BRITS” comment, and his theme park reference, this is the Alamo at MCO (Orlando Int’l). What an ass indeed.

  104. Ass_Cobra says:

    This is just total crap. It will come in handy though. I plan on printing it out and keeping a copy in my overnight bag so I can whip it out at the Alamo counter next time some dick bag tries to sell me pre-paid gas or other such nonsense.

    The guy makes good money but to describe himself as rolling in the skrizzle really overstates what $8/hr and a couple of 4K bonus checks will get you these days. If there’s any karmic justice this scumbag is facing rate re-set on his stated income, no-money down loan that he used to purchase his condo (which he of course calls his crib) in 2005 which is now worth about 25% less than his basis. Of course he probably still lives at home so there goes that.

    PS. for everyone that says that vacations have to be expensive to be enjoyable you are clearly missing the point. If you are even the least bit flexible you can do things for 50% of the rack rate and I can tell you it’s not any less fun. I mean if I’m just going to a theme park what am I going to need GPS in my car for anyway.

  105. meeroom says:

    I am proud to be a deeker and this post has just reinforced my cheap, non-insurance, tiny wee-car getting ways, even though I’m on an expense account! Knowing I’m screwing over an asshat like this will make deeking an even more enjoyable experience.

  106. Roadkill says:

    This guy is awful.

  107. oldtaku says:

    Put that coffee down! Coffee is for deekers!

    Well it’s nice to have all my worst suspicions about rental car agents confirmed (as if previous confessions weren’t sufficient).

  108. Applekid ┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ) says:

    @cmdr.sass: That’s exactly what I thought when I read it.

  109. sleze69 says:

    Interesting that this guy thinks that having an SUV will make the vacation more fun. It will certainly make it a bit more comfortable but I think the $200-300 price difference for the vacation would be better spent on a nice dinner or park ticket upgrades(fast pass).

    Unless your vacation is a road-trip, the car is on the low end of my spending priority.

  110. Chaosium says:

    Everything makes sense from a commission perspective and is expected, but 3 is just too “drink the kool-aid” to believe.

    Good god, what a loathsome prick.

  111. gumbril says:

    Well, at least he was nice about us brits, come to think of it I was last over I rented something sporty for a couple of weeks.. the thing is its relative to the cost of hiring in the UK and the tax on fuel, and the great roads and the big cars… it was heaven..

  112. Kurtz says:

    This isn’t a confession. It seems more like a set up by The Consumerist to slam Alamo. Which is BS, because there are agents like this douce at every rental car company.

    In defense of Alamo, I will always use them whenever I fly into LAX during the summer or around a major holiday. Why? Because they have cars. When Hertz, Avis, Enterprise and Budget are all sold out of economy cars or lower, I can count of Alamo to have cars. Plus, their rates are usually cheaper than the other four.

    Another reason I use them is because I can reserve online and pay at the automated kiosk at the rental counter. Being a “deeker” for life myself, I find it much easier to press no to insurance and upgrades on a computer screen than to argue over them with a douch like this guy.

    I’ve had good experiences with Alamo, and I’ll continue to use them. I can get cars there in a pinch, they’re usually cheaper than their competitors, and I don’t have to use an agent. Consumerist readers, keep these things in mind before you start you chuggin’ the Alamo Haterade.

  113. Ilovemygeek says:

    I used to work at Enterprise way back in the day as one of my first jobs out of college, as a result I NEVER pay for upgrades or buy insurance. The truth of renting a car is; if the rental counter is out of the size you reserved, you get upgraded for free. Also, Enterprise pays a salary so people there don’t really care if you upgrade or buy insurance, this guy is a winner from the sounds of it.

  114. ingenieur says:

    What rental car agent working part-time makes $4K in commissions in the off-months? I’d be more skeptical. Seriously, there’s this massive segment of intarweb society folk that makes up shit like this, perhaps to inspire, but most likely due to common sociopathy.

  115. SecureLocation says:

    Your regular car insurance usually covers you when driving a rental so deek with pride. And that “Pay for gas now and bring it back empty” is the dumbest ripoff since Ghostbusters II. I always refuse upgrades and almost always get one anyway since they are usually out of the smaller car I booked.

  116. Skeptic says:

    Again, thank you very much to the buying customers, you are good sports.

    F**k being a “good sport.”

    Your commission isn’t my problem. Besides, talk about a greedy bastard. For every $100 dollars of my vacation money he sucks away by pushing useless add-ons he gets, at most, 15%. So, being a “good sport” means giving up $100 so he can have $15. I’d be better off just throwing a commission at him than going for the upgrade. His sense of entitlement is remarkable. Quite the self-aggrandizing douche.

  117. humorbot says:

    What the hell kind of “confession” is this? This smells like page-hit-increasing/Alamo-bashing/flame-baiting setup. Typically, confessions don’t involve the word “scrizzle.”

  118. Wally East says:

    @Silversmok3: Sure, we love road trips, too, but our next vacation is Hawaii.

  119. martyf says:

    Just a big “thanks” to all the previous 100+ comments that summarized, better than I could have, about what an arrogant, nasty person this guy is. I’m a proud and loud “deeker” and not only that, I’m proud to bring my kids with me on vacation and shave pennies with commodities like car rentals and spend my money on stuff that matters to me more.

  120. D.B. Cooper-Nichol says:

    @Dawnrazor: Fun hobby.

  121. pda_tech_guy says:

    I can honestly say that I am offended by this. Tsk Tsk at consumerist for putting this up. Just because I want to save money and dont want to pay for things i dont need (insurance, or a bigger car) doesnt make me cheap. it makes me a smart consumer. And this guy is the biggest jackass.

  122. loganmo says:

    @GearheadGeek: LDW is the liability waiver….I do not know of a single credit card that provides liability coverage (which is damage you cause to other people’s property). CC coverage on rentals is typical for collision coverage-damage you cause to your own (rental) car.

  123. misteral says:

    >> the convenience of prepaying for the gasoline at a discounted rate

    Since when was double the cost per gallon a discount? Most airports have a gas station conveniently near them, it’s a 5 minute stop to fill up. Gives you a chance to grab a pack of gum and a magazine for the flight (formerly and a bottle of water but that’s another story)

  124. brandyfelix says:

    It makes me ill every time I think about how I was duped into buying rental insurance. By the way, has anyone ever actually had to use the rental agency-provided insurance? I bet they give you the run around, like when I bought ADP (Accidental Damage Protection) from CircuitCity for my camera. I dropped it and it broke, but they told me that it wasn’t covered because ADP only covers internal mechanisms. Hmmm, looking back, I can’t believe I didn’t fight them harder for a free repair or replacement.

  125. Quellman says:

    I was expecting that the confessions would be helpful, like others I have seen. For instance- If you throw us a bone, we can lower prices for things. Like if you pay for the $20 a day upgrade I’ll waive the fuel refill fee, or I’ll be inclined to chop off $10. Things like that. All I read was, “don’t be a deek in Orlando or I’ll be poor”.

  126. GearheadGeek says:

    @loganmo: LDW is Loss Damage Waiver. They’re covered for liability on their cars, they can’t afford not to be. You might be held liable for some personal liability in a lawsuit if you run down a pedestrian (or a car rental agent!) in the rental car, but your own auto insurance (for those who have a personal car) almost always covers THAT part. LDW is for loss of and/or damage to the rental car itself. I think some agencies may call this CDW (Collision Damage Waiver) but it generally equates to the same thing… they agree not to pursue you and/or your credit card for damage to or loss of the vehicle while it’s in your possession.

  127. missdona says:

    I’m off on vaca tomorrow and I plan on deeking National to the max.

  128. muddgirl says:

    What a great guy. I rarely ever rent cars, anyway, unless someone else is paying. In most places, public transportation is good enough for me.

  129. SybilDisobedience says:

    Can Consumerist PLEASE make a t-shirt that says “Deeker for Life”? I know I’D buy one.

  130. Canadian Impostor says:

    I go on vacation to avoid driving.

  131. uricmu says:

    I don’t understand, don’t most people get their rentals paid by their workplace (and therefore can’t opt in for upgrades), or book them on the internet or phone?

  132. JMH says:

    @Murph1908:

    “Worst…confession…ever.

    This wasn’t a confession. This was berating the people who don’t fall for his crap.”

    I disagree. This is absolutely a confession; the guy is confessing to being an asshole.

  133. Antediluvian says:

    I learned something new today: people from the UK are sometimes referred to as “the Brits” by Alamorons.

    Those clever Alamorons!

  134. JiminyChristmas says:

    So, just to recap: We’re dealing with an Autumn Mist douchenozzle par excellance.

    I just love how this guy thinks he’s on top of the world because he’s raking in the ‘skizzle’ as a car rental agent. That’s great…but he’s a car rental agent. Between a rental agent making $100k, and a teacher, social worker, carpenter, or Legal Aid lawyer making half that; I have a lot more respect for the latter.

  135. zibby says:

    This guy sounds like such a clown I’m tempted to think the competition planted this piece.

    If it’s real however, I will say that I like the old-school pride push of, “If you won’t buy the unnecessary crap I’m selling, you must be poor and cheap.” I’ve seen that one be surprisingly effective, even on people that should know better.

  136. forgottenpassword says:

    @Antediluvian:

    would you prefer the term “limey”? ; ) I LOVE being called a “yank”! :)

    Man, after reading the “confession”…. i actually started feeling sorry for the brits for being gouged. I know that their pounds are worth MUCH more than $, but they still dont deserve to be screwed by greedy car rental salesturds. Makes me want to take this “confession” & post it on every brit website I can find!

  137. thalia says:

    I love how he calls the couple with two kids “cheap” for not upgrading to a more “fun” car and naturally assumes that the husband is either a pussy or upset about it. I’m sorry, but kids are expensive, especially if you have finally managed to save up the cash to take your family on a vacation. Cars aren’t supposed to be “fun”. They’re supposed to get you where you need safely. You can have fun on a vacation even on a cheap budget. This guy is a total douchebag.

  138. iguanoid says:

    I think the advertised rates are often lower than they really should be because they are banking on extras like insurance and GPS. I would gladly pay a fair rate for a rental just to not be harangued by some schmoe trying to fatten his paycheck and make some quota.

  139. AD8BC says:

    @GothamGal: Right.

    A bike.

    When I fly to another city, usually a large one, to visit a customer.

  140. iguanoid says:

    @Sybil

    “Can Consumerist PLEASE make a t-shirt that says “Deeker for Life”? I know I’D buy one.”

    Would you like to upgrade to a sweater?

  141. SaraAB87 says:

    Wow and then companies wonder why there are so many “deekers” around, after hearing the upsell time after time I have learned to refuse it outright unless I have thought about purchasing a warranty or other upsell before I go to purchase a product or a service. Every time I do this I am also saving money that can be put to much better use in some way. Deeker and “devil customer” for life.

    This is a case of OMG here comes a family with children lets take them for everything they are worth. A 3 year old and a 10 month old probably don’t need anything more than a normal car anyways, both will be sitting in a carseat and mom and dad probably already have a portable dvd player or some other sort of entertainment device or toys for the 3 year old, the kids aren’t old enough to need extra space to stretch their legs out. Strollers and baggage will fit in the trunk. I could understand needing an SUV if you were traveling with 3 8+ year olds but for this situation it really doesn’t make sense. Some parents don’t like to waste money on gadgets their kids will never need.

  142. Blue says:

    My sales technique……………”not taking my upgrade offers, means you don’t love your family!”

    What a dick!!!!!!!!

  143. charodon says:

    Let’s find out where this idiot works so we can all go get in his line, and decline every single upgrade, all day long. Ask him lots of questions too, so by the end of the day he’s rented, like, 2 sub-compacts and a bicycle.

  144. lizzybee says:

    Funny– I drive one of those subcompact cars the rental agents always sneeze at, and my worst nightmare would be to be “upgraded” to something larger, like an SUV. That would positively ruin a vacation for me ;-)

  145. Blue says:

    My sales pitch…………………”if you don’t take the upgrades, then you don’t love your family”

    What a Dick!!!!!!!!!!!!

  146. Blue says:

    It’s unanimous!!!

    He’s a Douschenozzle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  147. ClayS says:

    This article is hard to believe. It doesn’t seem like there is much opportunity for a dickhead like this to upsell on a car rental.

    I always reserve the vehicle I want, I bring my own GPS with me, and I already have rental insurance through my auto insurance and my Amex card.

    I’ve rented through Alamo, and except for being asked if I want collision damage coverage, I don’t think I’ve ever been upsold.

    I’m thinking this article is complete BS; I’d be surprised if car rental agents are commissioned.

    Has anyone at The Consumerist done some due diligence and verified any of this?

  148. jonnyobrien says:

    First, I want to thank the confessor for reminding me why I have Hertz #1 Club Gold.

    Second, I hoon each and every rental car I get my grubby mitts on. I assume the person before me hooned the car as well. So why should I pay to upgrade when I know I am going to beat the bag out of a car that has had the bag beaten out of it already?

    The last SUV I had while on a business trip forded a river past the bottom of the doors and two creeks then got hung up on so rocks and wrenched out with branches while trying to find a co-workers childhood fishing spot. I’m going to guess it never was the same.

    Why would I PAY to ‘improve’ my vacation experience when the car is a stripped POS in any class that has had hoons like me driving it. It’s not like a Hyundai Sante Fe is going to improve my experience.

    Douche.

  149. ClayS says:

    @jonnyobrien:

    What does “hoon” mean? You seem to use it as a verb and a noun, yet I have to plead ignorance.

  150. SaraAB87 says:

    Also if a business has to rely on upsells and essentially forcing consumers into buying things they do not need then that is a business I do not want to have dealings with since if they have to rely solely on these tactics (or on belittling the customer because they automatically know what that customer’s economic situation is to the point they are forced to say yes or else walk away feeling sorry for themselves) to stay afloat then they are obviously doing something wrong.

  151. vastrightwing says:

    Hi, I am a “deeker”. Please make my vacation nicer by not upselling me a convertible or SUV. I’m aware of the vehicle choices already. In fact, the best possible experience I could ever have would be to arrive at the agency and have the car I already reserved in advance running with the air on. The car would be clean, gassed up and ready to drive. That would be awesome!

  152. SOhp101 says:

    The only thing this guy does is whine about how he sucks at upselling and he’s bitter at nearly the entire world because of his inadequate skills. Please do not ever get another sales position again.

  153. jonnyobrien says:

    @Clays

    You don’t read Jalopnik?

    In a nutshell:

    A hoon is someone who drives way to fast or in a manner gentle people don’t see as proper.. To hoon is the act of driving way to fast or in a manner gentle people don’t find proper.

    At Jalopnik search Hoon of the Day.

    This actually would me a good Question of the Day: What is the worst thing you’ve ever done in or to a rental car?”

  154. maztec says:

    Sorry, my trip is not defined by the car I drive. And I am a guy. The smaller my car, the bigger my . . Oh well, you get the point.

  155. dancemonkey says:

    what a dick

  156. jonnyobrien says:

    @jonnyobrien

    Remember ‘*too fast’ not ‘to fast’

    Oh for an edit button to correct stupid mistakes.

  157. ClayS says:

    @jonnyobrien:

    Thanks for enlightening me.

    To answer your question…nothing bad intentionally. But some years ago, a friend and I were driving a rented Ford Pinto hatchback (ok, a lot of years ago) through Death Valley. It was 122 degrees, and the case of beer we had in the back didn’t enjoy the heat. One by one, the cans started exploding. The car never smelled the same. I was concerned I might hear from the rental company after returning home, but that never happened.

  158. humphrmi says:

    Agent: Alright. We have a blue Ford Escort for you Mr. Seinfeld. Would you like insurance?

    Jerry: Yeah, you better give me the insurance, because I am gonna beat the hell out of this car.

    Couldn’t resist :)

  159. TechnoDestructo says:

    @homerjay:
    @humorbot:

    I think he posted it because this guy was making a very serious confession…just not the sort of confession he thought he was making.

    Also, does this sound familiar?

    “I can’t wait for the high season to begin to see how much I’ll be raking in. I’m not among the best sales agents but believe it or not, the better ones make six figures.”

    You hear that from all kinds of sales types, and especially from the MLM faithful. Yet how often do you actually hear from the guys who are actually making 6 figures themselves? Unless it’s some highly specialized high-end high-tech sales field where you ought to have an engineering degree to even sell the stuff, not very often.

  160. JayXJ says:

    @jeffj-nj: But the memories that stay with you the longest tend to be the unusual stuff. If we’d spent the money on our honeymoon on a super nice hotel I doubt I’d remember much.
    Instead we got a hotel about half an hour from where we were going, allowing us to spend money on more interesting things. My wife and I smile and laugh every time that little fleabag motel’s “luxury” suite comes up in conversation. You can’t buy those kind of memories.

  161. JayXJ says:

    @jonnyobrien: I think they did that for a QOTD a few months back.

  162. Mr. Gunn says:

    I’m gonna call shenanigans on these “Confessions” pieces. I’m sure that guy is an employee, but I’ll bet he works in the marketing department, not the counter.

    I know the Consumerist is probably hounded daily by company PR people, so it was only a matter of time until this sort of thing started happening.

    Lots of pageviews for the Consumerist, free advertising for the company, everybody wins, except the readers.

  163. themediatrix says:

    A douche, a toolbag, AND a sexist.

    My husband is the one in our household who prints out the mapquests and goes for the least expensive rental car.

    I’m all for it, of course, because then we have money to spend on more important things, like, I dunno better wine, an extra night at the hotel, tickets to an event in a different city, taxi’s so we can drink, fashion to and fro, beach cabanas, film for the holga, charming souvenirs or bits of art, treating friends to dinner, etc.

    A bigger box of polluting plastic isn’t really worth it to me.

  164. Grimspoon says:

    I’m a “deeker” in every sense of the word and if I sense an ounce of attitue when I reject your annoying sales pitch believe me when I say I’m going to go out of my way to fuck you in any way I can.

  165. Egakino says:

    @AngrySicilian: I Lawled
    @winstonthorne: ditto
    @forever_knight: Yup, rich people never got rich by spending all their money.
    @gorckat: douchenozzle: best comeback eva.
    Um yeah, sounds a bit faked. Loveline was the best because they would be able to pick out 90% of the fakers right away. Ben, study Dr. Drew and Adam, maybe you can stop crap like this.

  166. Antediluvian says:

    @forgottenpassword: Maybe my sarcasm didn’t come through. I thought it was funny that this arrogant Alamoron seemed to think they coined the word Brits — “we love our UK customers which we affectionately call ‘the Brits’”.

  167. bobpence says:

    One reason I’m a “deeker” is I know what the f*ck I’m doing. I know my personal insurance on vacation, and company credit card on business, cover the CDW, LDW, or whatever you want to call it. And I asked for a compact car because I will be driving a hell of a lot of miles and want good gas mileage and an easy time parking. If I want to impress someone, then I would have asked for something bigger, but as it is your upgrade (free, once I decline your attempt to sell me an upgrade to the only car you actually have on the lot) is only costing me (or my company) gas money.

  168. jeffeb3 says:

    That was horrible. I’m going to have to file this under sarcasm, or I’ll pretty much start hating everything.

  169. MadameX says:

    I’m traveling to Vancouver, BC this week for business and had intended to add one of the GPS units to my rental car, but not now. Even though the company pays for it, I don’t wanna support guys like this.

    I feel the urge to create a “Hi, my name is Deeker” sticker for my trip (since I don’t have time to wait for the t-shirts).

  170. Trick says:

    Makes me feel better when I make dicks like this worry about being sent to the garage. Sure I can afford the nice Mercedes or Audi in the lot. I may even want to upgrade but why? To make *you* some money?

    Get a better job that doesn’t make you rip people off to survive.

    Either way while I am on vacation and you are sitting in your office thinking of ways to screw people over, I will be enjoying the good life and a nice hotel where my piece of crap rent-o-box I’m hardly going to drive is sitting in the lot.

    You can bet on my next vacation I will smirk just for one second knowing you are going to lose out on some bonus cash and once again, complain about the “deeker” who may just send you to the garage…

  171. tk427 says:
  172. jetdillo says:

    You sir, are a parasite and it gives me no end of pleasure to “deek” people like you at every possibly opportunity. You can make a living off my need for your services like any business person, but I don’t OWE you a living or a certain level of spending. I’m not a cheat or swindler or lesser being just because I refuse to pad your coffers. You should be glad for my custom and work hard to ensure that it is repeated. You are in a service industry after all and from your statements it’s obvious that somebody needs to remind you of that fact.

  173. JiminyChristmas says:

    @TechnoDestructo: Unless it’s some highly specialized high-end high-tech sales field where you ought to have an engineering degree to even sell the stuff, not very often.

    It does happen. I know of some sales reps for medical device manufacturers (e.g.: ICDs, pacemakers, artificial joints) that have grossed in the vicinity of $1MM/year in good years. As you suggest re: engineers, many of these reps are MDs to start with, and the ones earning the big bucks are creme de la creme at multibillion dollar corporations.

  174. jetdillo says:

    Oh, BTW. $4000/month is not all that much money. You would have to be working in a fairly large metropolitan area to see the kind of volume that generates those kind of residuals and having to commute from the sticks where it’s cheap, to say, LAX, ORD, JFK, SFO, etc. where the volume is, is going to eat up most of that gravy.

  175. Fidel on the Roof says:

    Um… these aren’t “confessions” at all. The author seems like a prick who wants to take advantage of you. Is it best to order online and avoid these grease balls all together?

  176. waldy says:

    Y’all have clearly missed what a brain trust this guy is. I mean, did you catch his highly original nickname for folks from the UK? “The Brits”…wow, I NEVER would have thought of that.

  177. cccdude says:

    Proud to be a Deeker.

    But something don’t smell right here – why would this ass-muncher submit something like this to the Consumerist? I’m betting that either

    a.) He’s an EX-Alamo employee and this is payback OR

    b.) He works for Budget, Enterprise, Dollar, or another competitor.

  178. corbyz says:

    This guy is a total dickwad, but at least now I know that the agent is probably charging you more than the minimum for whatever upgrade and you can probably bargain it down to a lower price.

  179. weave says:

    Thank God for Hertz #1 Gold Club. Get off the bus, get in my car that’s already been set up, look over the contract all by myself, drive off. And Hertz doesn’t get all anal about getting a little door ding either.

  180. XianZomby says:

    Same way I feel about car dealers. Apparently dealing with cars bring out the worst of the ultracompetitive ex-jock high school academic underachievers.

    The guy behind the counter is not “value added” for me. Nothing he says or does gets me more value for the money I spend. Does he add value to the car? The guy in the cheap suit, the gaudy gold necklaces and silk tie he gets from commissions, and his friends, are not going to improve on the car they try to sell me, rent to me, or lease to me in any way, no matter how much money I spend. The Honda is already perfect when it gets off the boat from Japan.

    So my question is, why do we need dealers at all? It’s a middle man that sells simonizing. Whatever the hell that is.

    These guys transfer the money from your hand to the cash box, and the keys from the peg hook to your hand. But they are not “value added.”

  181. D-Bo says:

    @mulescent: I agree. Worst “confession” ever.

  182. listenherebub says:

    FROM A RENTAL CAR EMPLOYEE:

    ~Firstly, this guy is NOT an example of every rental agent with every company- he is ONE employee of ONE company. I work for another major rental company so I can say this from first hand experience.
    I, for one, DO have a CONSCIENCE and make less money than some of the smaller population of dishonest agents out there due to this reason.

    ~~SECONDLY… After working in the office where the CAR RETURNS are handled- I must say that it is AMAZING how customers are suddenly BEGGING US FOR THE COVERAGE after finding out the HARD WAY that their MASTERCARD or no-name insurance company DID NOT,INFACT, COVER THE RENTAL CAR…OUCH! It is amazing how quckily the rental agent transforms from being a sub-human scammer to A PERSON the customer ” should have” listened to.

    ~~~ LASTLY… If a person vacationing with a party of six and ten large suitcases can’t afford a car big enough to fit everyone without strapping their kid and dog onto the roof, then maybe they shouldn’t be renting a car at all.

    ~~~~AND THE APPRECIATION:
    THANKS YOU the customers out there with an ounce of sensibility-thanks for understanding why WE can not install YOUR children’s restraint system…Thanks for kindly declining the coverage instead of barking out the words NO … thanks for treating us with atleast a little bit of dignity so that we can do our job. Thank you, to those customers, for realizing that we are PEOPLE JUST LIKE YOU…OR MAYBE LIKE YOUR VERY OWN CHILDREN

  183. BOFH2 says:

    I pay for some of the upgrades knowing I will beat the living HELL out of it. As soon as I get out of earshot. The tires will come back almost bald if I can help it.

  184. banmojo says:

    This d-bag should feel like a total dickwad, but he doesn’t … BECAUSE HE’S A TOTAL DICKWAD!! And Con, shame on you for false advertising – this wasn’t a ‘confession’, this was an ‘apology’ if anything. I did find it interesting, and it’s stimulated all sorts of discussion here, which is a good thing I believe, but try not to mislead us with untrue headlines in the future, it doesn’t go down well :^)

  185. TechnoDestructo says:

    @D-Bo:

    Best confession ever. Half of the confession is in the tone.

  186. magilacudy says:

    Wow, why all the resentment against this guy? He puts up with all those “deekers” and still manages to make $4000 a month?

    He deserves something for that misery filled confession. Perhaps a song… now where’s my violin? :/

  187. MercuryPDX says:

    My guess is this guy works for Avis, or some other company that the “Alamo down the block” is taking a bite out of. Why else would it be so unashamedly damning?

  188. MercuryPDX says:

    Sweet Jeebus… a Google search for Deekers does not lead you to a family friendly website.

  189. Tzepish says:

    I don’t have a problem with Ben posting this, but the headline probably should have been something like “Douchebag Alamo Car Rental Agent Emails Consumerist, Is A Douchebag”

  190. sarahchirp says:

    I don’t get how this is supposed to benefit consumers? Are we supposed to sympathize with this guy because he tries to rip off young families with kids and they don’t fall for it?

  191. bobsyouruncle says:

    Ha ha, I did get the full insurance package the last time I rented a car. It was the Saturday before Halloween 2007, and we rented a white Cadillac Escalade. We got total coverage for the car, so no deductible and our own personal insurance wouldn’t be involved if there was an…incident.

    I _always_ decline the optional insurance (covered through my credit card, thank you USAA), but thought it might be worth it this time because we were renting this monstrous white whale of a car for a very special purpose: my friend’s bachelor party.

    We started off with tequila shots at a house party, leaving behind 2 empty bottles of good tequila when we got in the car and our designated driver (also the driver of record for the rental, thank you very much) ferried us to a strip joint. Even this early in the night, things were already pretty fuzzy…I remember eating steaks, more tequila shots, and beer. I remember that for some reason the strippers didn’t want to come near me. Maybe it was my outfit: I was wearing skull-face face paint and a black top hat.

    The early tequila shots took a toll, and I was extremely wrecked by the time I got home, with only patchy recall of the night. My girlfriend took one look and sent me off to the showers, and then I crawled into bed.

    I woke up the next day drunk AND hung-over. Awesome. Around two p.m., our designated driver called me. “Bob, you have to come with me to return the rental car.”

    “Dude, can’t you call someone else?” I asked, naming one of the other offenders from the previous night.

    “They’re all too wracked up to drive.”

    “Shit…”

    I was sober at this point, though terribly hungover. However, there was no question that the bachelor party participants all owed our designated driver a big favor, so driving back to the car rental (it was Enterprise, incidentally, not Alamo) to give him a ride home was the least I could do.

    I drove by his house to meet him. He was already outside in the Escalade. We agreed that he would follow me to the drop-off, as I knew the route to the location better than he did.

    I set off, glancing in my rear-view mirror as I made the first right-hand turn to make sure that he was following. Then I saw it…yes, apparently whoever had been riding shotgun last night had re-painted the front passenger door with the contents of his digestive tract!

    Seeing this spurred recall of a number of gross and just plain inappropriate images from the night before that I had successfully suppressed until then. I laughed heartily.

    When we got back to the car rental, I parked and jumped out of the car. “Holy shit! I forgot about the puke!”

    “How could you forget? Look at this!”

    Oops…our redecorating had not been limited to the outside of the car: there was a nasty-looking stain on the _inside_ of the front passenger door. I guess when you’re really drunk (and we were!), it’s hard to get your whole head out the window.

    I looked at our driver. He looked at me. “Dude! TOTAL —-ING COVERAGE!” We broke into laughter, the kind of belly laughs that double you over. Then we tapped fists and went into Enterprise, where the agent who checked us in said “is that vomit? It’s not a problem because you had total coverage. However, I’ll need to wash it off immediately, because it can damage the finish.”

    Apparently he hadn’t noticed the inside yet. We left before he did.

    The moral of the story: sometimes it makes sense to pay extra for that added peace of mind. :-)

  192. dantsea says:

    At the very least, the next time I rent a car I can smile and laugh, secure in the knowledge that people on both sides of the counter are getting screwed in the transaction.

    Thank you, Anonymous Alamo Agent, for helping me not care!

  193. TheNomad says:

    I am glad that I “deeked” every Alamo agent that I have faced after reading this idiot’s gloating. Yes, I will caryy my own damn GPS and yes, I can drive a front wheel drive Neon on the snow without chains, instead of paying you $49 extra per day for that gas guzzling SUV and I will not buy the damn extra insurance. This is why I am paying for that rental coverage on my policy.

    You can love the Brits but I am sure if one of those jolly folks read this gloater, you can kiss those premiums goodbye.

    Last but not the least : GO TO HELL !!!

  194. loueloui says:

    Here’s a suggestion: Why don’t you all at Alamo pause from counting your undoubtedly huge piles of cash, and GET MY FUCKING RESERVATION RIGHT FOR A CHANGE?

    As a bizarre coincidence, I currently have a rental from Alamo, and I groan at the prospect of filling out every conceivable form, and confirm them in advance only to show up and not only do I not have a reservation, or a car, they refuse to even acknowledge their own paperwork. Thanks Lame-o. You are sucktacular.

  195. nycdor says:

    How delightful that I read this fucker’s “confession” less than 12 hours before I am due to rent from Alamo! Can’t wait to “deek” all over those fools. Brought my own GPS, muthafuckas! Nice try!

  196. nycdor says:

    Also I have to agree with the earlier poster who complimented Enterprise. I rent from them several times a month and they’re awesome, in every location.

  197. coren says:

    Yeah, you better get you some GPS, because how the hell are you gonna find anything? It’s not like people give you directions, or maps exist, or anything of the sort. I mean, before GPS, no one went on vacation, ever. They couldn’t! They’d just get lost on the way to the hotel.

    Also, I sure as hell would want to drive something other than a gas guzzling SUV on vacation; I don’t want to be blowing money I could use on something fun on refueling a car that isn’t even mine.

  198. icust298 says:

    Sometimes the joy of vacation just comes from spending time with your family. Not the SUV or the nice hotel or the fancy meals. I remember many times as a kid, just going somewhere cheap in our small car, packing a lunch, and having a blast. You really don’t realize it when you’re a kid, but those are the times you remember. I think back on it now and wouldnt trade those times for any. Sometimes people lose focus of what is actually important, and its not GPS.

  199. crankymediaguy says:

    OK, the response to this simple. If you’re considering renting from Alamo, simply print this “confession” out before you leave home. Then when you get to the counter and the guy/gal tries to run his/her upgrade bullshit on you, hand them the paper. Watch their expression change as they read it. For added fun, highlight the “deeker” part.

    Then say, “Here’s what I want and this is how much I will pay for it.”

    Hilarity ensues.

  200. imnotgreedy says:

    After hearing “Put me in a nicer bigger car” or people that know they might need a bigger vehicle but still not want to pay more for it can get tiring day after day; there are agents that DO actually care about the customer.
    We are not all represented by this guy or others like him. While we may not be making the big bucks and reaping the rewards, there are those of us that do follow more ethical practices with our sales.A vehicle with more options and space should cost more. however, there should be some guidelines rather than”the skies the limit”. BTW we do not sell insurance it is a waiver of responsabilty and some people may need it.
    Sure it is disappointing at times but some of us realize and accept the fact that a family of 4 on vacation with a certain budget can have a better experience if they don’t feel pressured to spend more money than they planned just to have it sit at a parking lot most of the time.
    I have been an agent for 9 years and sleep much better these days having found a way to provide customer service and still sell based on providing options and then letting go if they still say no with a smile on my face. : ) Happy travels!

  201. WV.Hillbilly says:

    @GothamGal:

    I go for the biggest gas guzzler on the lot.
    If they still had Ford Excursions, I’d get one every time.

    I’d like a bike to crush under the tires of my rented behemoth.

  202. cerbie says:

    Wow. I’ve never rented a car before, but generally, count me in as a future member of people you hate for not needing extra services. Insurance might be OK as an extra, but that would be it.

    @coren: some of us do get lost really easy like that, and a GPS is a life saver. OTOH, we’re going to bring our own GPS units…

    @listenherebub: suitcases to the roof? If you’ve got that many people, you need to make room for Aunt Edna, too! :)

  203. That70sHeidi says:

    @theysaidwhat: I can’t believe it took that long for someone to comment on the wife thing… “The man pays but the woman talks – and says no!” Yeah, what a bitch, emasculating her hard working husband while she drops crotchfruit for him and probably tends to the children while he works so hard for not-commission. God forbid she speak up over anything.

    Not only is he judging your family based on his obviously warped view, but now he’s judging your marriage too? Just what I want in a salesperson! I bet she was so busy with her purse (with the plane tickets, maps, recipts, confirmations, hotel reservations, etc) and the kids and all their travel accoutrements that her husband bravely took the burden of carrying that big, heavy wallet jammed with all that hot and heavy plastic. WHEW! He earned an SUV upgrade just for that!!

    As for enjoying what you rent, we got a POS car for LA because it was all I could afford/rent with a 21 year old driver and we enjoyed the HELL out of that car! It was awesome! The AC worked and the CD player worked and the brakes worked as we slid through an intersection.

    We also ate VERY very well while there, several nights, and had a really nice hotel. Priorities, baby, priorities.

  204. That70sHeidi says:

    And I’m more inclined to believe that the “helpless husband” is listening in silence because he’s lunged over the counter and torn heads off of the last four a-hole salesmen like you for forcing upgrades and being a general DB when they’re refused.

    His “helpless silence” is your ticket to a long, but miserable, life, bucko. Thank the wife for her kind restraint and wish them a happy vaca.

  205. fyi1rob says:

    This guy is a dick .. not confessing anything .. except what he is .. there is no content here can it be removed?

  206. Optimus says:

    @Meeker: Regarding SUVs versus real cars:
    Roger that.
    Gas guzzling, oversized toy truck versus a car that can carry just as much, actually turns, and doesn’t take until the next red light to get to the speed limit… let me think about this for a min– Car!

  207. Optimus says:

    @fyi1rob: Well, that depends… do you consider slime content?

  208. chicagojim says:

    Rule #1 – Avoid Alamo. What do you expect to get from the dregs of the rental industry other than crap like this article. Let’s face it, deekers keep Alamo in business. Sounds like this guy lost his management job and is pissed about it. Tough cookies. If my company picks up the rental, I go top notch, otherwise I deek all the way. One more thing, Alamo always hits near the bottom of the list for my rental choices because of douchebag employees like this guy. Fellow Chicagoans: Ever rented from the Alamo at Midway??? That proves this point.

  209. bigmac12 says:

    As a happy Deeker I must say that I have had good service from a variety of car rental companies once they realize you aren’t going to get suckered in on all the BS upgrades, etc. I have gotten free upgrades with out asking for them…probably becouse I am cheerful with them regardless of their pathetic attempts to screw me.
    Using cheapcars.com works great as the total is already on the contract you download. They(rental agency) have tried to add more on but I just refused and they just back off.
    Don’t be afraid to “just say no”.

  210. MrEvil says:

    Seems like Alamo pays different than Enterprise. Last time I rented a car from Enterprise the ONLY thing extra they tried to sell me was the insurance which I was already covered through my regular carrier. They didn’t have the full-size car I had reserved and upgraded me to an SUV for free.

    Seems like Enterprise is the soft sell of the rental car business.

  211. listenherebub says:

    MORE FROM A RENTAL AGENT WITH A CONSCIENCE—

    In addition to my previous rant, I would like to add a few things:

    #1: some companies rip you off w/ the fuel option- with our company (a major competetor of Alamo)our rate is currently $2.89, versus $3.15 close to the airport- yes, you pay for the full tank upfront- and no, I do not even try to sell it to people who don’t think they could use most of it anyway
    (people who don’t prepay and then find out the hard way that there aren’t any convenient gas stations THEN pay $6.69 per gallon for what’s missing- NOW THAT IS A RIPOFF!)

    #2: many people who have attempted to file an insurance claim on a rental car through their personal ins. or credit card then return for their next rental asking US for the LDW/CDW before we have the chance to offer it because they LEARNED THEIR LESSON THE HARD WAY

    #3: For all the people who have stated how great Enterprise is, you may want to keep in mind that ~~~~~ENTERPRISE OWNS ALAMO/NATIONAL~~~~~~~

    #4: AS A CAR RENTAL AGENT I DO HAVE TO AGREE THIS GUY IS A MAJOR DOUCHENOZZLE -AND ALAMO IS SUCKTACKULAR! (and he probablly really does work for Avis or another competitor because some of what he said isn’t even true!!)

    #5: BEHIND THOSE MONEY HUNGRY RENTAL AGENTS, THERE IS A CORPORATE ASSHOLE WHO IS 15X MORE MONEY HUNGRY AND WHO IS FUELING THE RENTAL AGENT’S HUNGER with b.s. incentives and empty promises!!! AND WE (w/ the exception of a few bad apples like the person who posted this) HAVE MUCH MORE OF A CONSCIENCE THAN THE CORPORATE JERKS WITH DOLLAR SIGNS IN THEIR EYES WHO ~~~USE US AS A MEANS TO THEIR END!!~~~

  212. EJXD2 says:

    @GearheadGeek: This is absolutely correct. I’ve gotten countless awesome upgrades because the low-end vehicle I reserved was not available. You just have to deek like a champion to avoid the unnecessary upsell.

  213. ltlbbynthn says:

    wow, I used to like Alamo bc they never had the sub-compact I reserved: I always got a nicer car for the same price. This guy is a serious jackass and I really don’t give a damn where he’s working next week. It’s none of your business what a customer chooses to purchase

  214. rikkus256 says:

    “As a part-time agent, I am now making more than 3 times what I was making as a full-time manager! Aside from my modest $8 hourly rate, I’m receiving about $4000 a month during the low season in sales commissions alone!”

    And that is exactly why we should all decline most of those unnecessary upgrades.

  215. Trick says:

    @LISTENHEREBUB:

    #2: many people who have attempted to file an insurance claim on a rental car through their personal ins. or credit card then return for their next rental asking US for the LDW/CDW before we have the chance to offer it because they LEARNED THEIR LESSON THE HARD WAY

    Yeah you just keep on trying to make an extra buck off often un-needed insurance.

    I had the unfortunate experience of hitting a engine block in the middle of the road late one night outside of Barstow, CA. I was doing the speed limit and had enough time to say “oh sh*t!” before I nailed the engine block with my car. It was a brand new Toyota Camry from Hertz. The total damage claim was a little over $9,000…

    Because I was a Number 1 Gold member I was liable for only $2500, $2000 of that being covered by my insurance without a blink of the eye and no penalties. I could have saved that $500 by spending another $20 or $30 bucks but I have never taken the insurance from any car rental place…. I have saved *thousands* of dollars over time even with the $500 loss.

  216. listenherebub says:

    IN RESPONSE TO WHAT TRICK SAID:

    I see your point- luckily you had good coverage, but that doesn’t mean everyone has the same. Since you’ve mentioned saving money, don’t you pay a pretty large amount of money to be a Number 1 Gold member?

    Part of the problem with things like this is that people aren’t actually educated on what their insurance DOES cover. Instead, they make their decision based on what someone else’s policy may offer.
    Some people add on the covg. when it isn’t needed, while others decline the coverage that they actually end up needing.

    I’m glad your situation worked out to be better than some of the bad scenarios we’ve seen play out while working in the car-return office.

    As for the extra buck comment-not every company pays out commission for these things, yet employees offer it because they see the value behind it.

  217. listenherebub says:

    @rikkus256:
    what b.s. – I still can’t help but wonder if this guy is really a disgruntled x-employee or an employee one of Alamo’s competitors who just wants to make the company look bad

  218. Jonnicat says:

    This fellow is obviously an employee who got fired from his job at Alamo….if he worked for Alamo at all. No other explanation makes sense. Let’s all hope that he got fired for his selling techniques to serve as an example to other rental agents.

  219. kich20 says:

    Once the Taylor family (Enterprise Rent A Car owners) completely assumes control of Alamo, I guarantee that they’ll put the brakes on rental agent commissions so fast it’ll make your head spin. They keep costs low by paying entry-level wages that hover right around 30K, while dangling the promise of promotions to keep up retention.

  220. ironchef says:

    My favorite is the insurance shakedown speech at the car rental places.

    The Enterprise car rental guys had the balls ask for who my car insurance policy is with and how much is the deductible.

    Then they said I will be 100% responsible for the deductible because they won’t go after my credit card first.

    What douche bags.

  221. BigElectricCat says:

    When I used to travel for work, I wasn’t *allowed* to upgrade my ride each week.

    But I’m 6′ 5″, so if you want to offer me an upgrade from Full-Size to Premium when I’m on vacation, I might take it if you toss in the Neverlost and Sirius options for free.

  222. pinkbunnyslippers says:

    This is a recycled article! Which reminds me – where’s that other article that tells you all the inside “Tricks of the Trade” to remember when renting a car to get a better deal??

  223. mcobill says:

    This guy is from Orlando…Virgin Airways & British People?…Theme Parks?..no wonder he’s making a fortune…

  224. Anonymous says:

    Never go to Alamo Rent Car without Philadelphia lawyer to explain vague contract Alamo has full of loopholes to stick it to you on your credit card. My experience with them in NH was
    and corporate contract for a compact Chevy for $30 per day
    that they were able to through a loophole raise my rental rate to $87 per day without conscience. In STL Alamo and I reached a settlement deal and then Alamo welched on the deal
    and gave me another spin. I will take them to court in the
    spring and ask for $900 they in my opinion fleeced me of.
    a settlent agreement. JM MacFarlane

  225. Anonymous says:

    I’m renting from Alamo next week (didn’t choose them, they accepted my super low bid on priceline.com).

    I can’t wait to walk up to the counter and tell them, No thanks to everything…I’m a Deeker. Ha I fit the profile, married, 2 kids 3 and 2 years old, got my rental online, on the cheap. And all you sensible people know why, it’s smart to do your homework and shop around (sorry Brits). I know I have more money in my home, investments, savings etc than that sad manager-turn-salesman, and it’s BECAUSE I do my research and don’t spend money on the ridiculous, unless I want to.

  226. driver10 says:

    I got a rental from Alamo this morning through priceline. I’ve never rented before so at least I know some things to watch out for. I hope the people in Bozeman,Mt are a little friendlier then the guy in the article.

  227. parrotuya says:

    Shocking! But having worked retail years ago, I hate “deekers” too. I am glad to be out of retail so that I don’t have to try to screw the customers ever again!

    DOWn, baby, DOWn!

  228. Anonymous says:

    I live in Australia and recently visited Britain and hired a car for 3 weeks from Alamo at Manchester airport. On picking up the car the guy told me there is no damage to the car, but have a quick look if you like anyway.

    I checked and immediately found a large dent in the drivers door, so I immediately returned to the office and reported this. The guy typed something in his computer and wrote on a card “Damage to drivers side door, large dent. Do not charge customer”. He also wrote his initials and employee number on the card and handed it to me, telling me not to worry about the damage, I would not be charged for it.

    About a week after arriving back in Adelaide, I was charged 170 pounds for this damage. Since then I have made 2 international phone calls and sent 5 emails. It took them 3 weeks and a threat of legal action to finally refund the 170 pounds, and still I have not received anything resembling an apology, let alone an offer of any compensation for the inconvenience and unnecessary expense.

    This is absolutely shameful and I will certainly not consider renting a car from Alamo / National / Europcar ever again.

  229. uptiger says:

    I bet he’ll move onto being a politian in a few years! what a wanker.

    last year i had a similar experience with FOX rentacar, they didnt have the car i had booked online, the car i got (PJ cruiser) was overdue for a service and had bald rear tyres and a broken jack, as i discovered 200 miles up the road.. what a rubbish car. the rep also sold me extra insurance i had told him i didnt want, he was just a criminal in a suit.