Man Chugs Entire Bottle Of Vodka Rather Than Turn It Over To Airport Security

Here’s a bad idea:

A 64-year-old man was trying to get past airport security with a liter bottle of vodka, and, rather than surrender the bottle or pay an extra fee to check his carry-on baggage—he chugged the entire thing.

He was soon unable to stand or walk, and had to be taken to a nearby hospital to be treated for alcohol poisoning.

Man chugs liter of vodka in airport security line [MSNBC] (Thanks, Douglas!)
(Photo:Brittany G)

Comments

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  1. theWolf says:

    Was it Kyle Orton?

  2. warf0x0r says:

    Kenny Rogers?

  3. vaxman says:

    HOLY CRAP, I though you were supposed to not be able drink that much when you’re 64… I couldn’t even drink that much vodka even if it was mixed with something…

  4. Copper says:

    Had this been apple cider, it wouldn’t seem like a very stupid idea.

  5. Ass_Cobra says:

    Just a nit and it really doesn’t change the moral, but it was a 1 litre bottle of Vodka not 2. 1 Litre bad, 2 Litre bad ass.

  6. Crymson_77 says:

    love when TSA policy conflicts with the US Customs

  7. PølάrβǽЯ says:

    I couldn’t drink that much if I wanted to. My stomach would promptly return the contents in an explosive manner. Besides, I’ve come to love Caribou Lou.

  8. num1skeptic says:

    which airport? or is it rumor mill day.

  9. Munsoned says:

    I’m sorry, everyone. I’ll try to get my dad back under control.

  10. Dad?

  11. ColoradoShark says:

    @num1skeptic: /snarky remark alert!
    It is “read the linked article day”.

  12. Munsoned says:

    Article says Nuremberg airport (Germany).

  13. Gopher bond says:

    bah, lightweight.

  14. WhatsMyNameAgain says:

    I’m a two beer queer… I couldn’t take that. I admire this man for being such a warrior.

    I hope he screamed “FREEEDDOOOMMMMMM!!!” after chugging it.

  15. McMaggot says:

    This article makes me feel like having a drink :)

  16. WhatsMyNameAgain says:

    @ErnieMcCracken:

    Ah, say no more. Now this story makes sense.

  17. Munsoned says:

    @AngrySicilian: …great minds…

  18. num1skeptic says:

    @ColoradoShark: i apologize, its just that bk post upset me.

  19. Underpants Gnome says:

    @theWolf: You know as well as I do that Orton’s drink of choice is Jack.

  20. inelegy says:

    A guy who’d do this managed to make it to 64 years old?

    Hmmm . . .

    Color me surprised.

  21. christoj879 says:

    That’s the most badass thing I’ve read in awhile.

  22. Amelie says:

    @Crymson_77: This happened in Nürnberg, Germany.

    Anyway, this story made my day. According to the German news article, they were only going to charge him a “small fee” to have it put with the luggage. Also it said they he was taken to the hospital for “detoxification.”

  23. chrishop says:

    Are we sure he wasn’t a pilot?

  24. liquisoft says:

    CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!

  25. ancientsociety says:

    @warf0x0r: Hehe, exactly!
    [www.youtube.com]

  26. emona says:

    So now he pays more for hospital bills. Brilliant. Now THAT’S sticking it to the man!

  27. yosarian says:

    @warf0x0r: I don’t think he WAS able to drink like that!

  28. target_veteran says:

    I’ve had half a litre in a little under two hours with very little in my stomach. I can’t remember most of that night. This man has walked the line between dumbassery and badassery. If he were Russian and it was home made, the badassery would be assured.

  29. headon says:

    he was flying without getting on the plane

  30. Holy shit…

  31. spryte says:

    If I was on that flight, I’d be damn glad he had to go to the hospital. Can you imagine that sloshed old fart being on the plane with you? Ack!

  32. Skiffer says:

    He then went to light a cigarette and promptly immolated himself…

  33. it’s french for GIMME MY DAMN VODKA!

    I’m sure his liver will pissed off for quite a while

  34. Grrrrrrr, now with two buns made of bacon. says:

    @chrishop: Score! 8)

    Nothing like having the old guy in the seat next to you projectile-vomit all the way up the aisle.

  35. mandarin says:

    Barney!

  36. Vitalis says:

    I don’t understand why he couldn’t bring his vodka on the flight? It isn’t like it was a DEADLY pair of nail clippers or toothpaste…

  37. comopuedeser says:

    If you take a sip of something in front of a TSA employee, seriously how come you can’t take it on the plane? We need a policy that states, if you can drink it and not die, then you can carry it on.

  38. DrGirlfriend says:

    I like to imagine that this guy, having the ability to chug a bottle of vodka, is so innured to its effects that he’d walk away in a straight line, whsitling a jaunty tune.

  39. thebigbluecheez says:

    @Crymson_77: This has nothing to do with US Customs. It was a German (assuming, as he was on his way home to Dresden) returning from holiday in Egypt.

  40. Manok says:

    If only he had smashed the empty bottle creating a jagged vodka shiv and rushed the TSA officer.

  41. homerjay says:

    @ErnieMcCracken: You win.

  42. nardo218 says:

    @comopuedeser: If someone’s insane enough to blow up a plane while they’re on it, I don’t think it’s a huge leap that they’d take a sip of something toxic.

  43. DrGirlfriend says:

    But if it’s toxic, then he’d be dead before he could carry out his plan.

  44. humperdinck says:

    Old guy: 1. Terrorists: 0.

  45. sporks says:

    This dude rocks. Too bad he got alcohol poisoning.

  46. edrebber says:

    When I get older losing my hair
    many years from now
    will you still be sending me a valentine
    birthday greeting, bottle of VODKA

    Will you still pump my stomach
    When I’m sixty-four

  47. cuiusquemodi says:

    Well, you can hardly blame the TSA in this case. They were only following orders.

  48. nealb says:

    href=”#c3304744″>DrGirlfriend:
    Depends on how toxic and how big he sips.

  49. nealb says:

    @nealb:
    I screwed that up

  50. Kezzerxir says:

    It doesn’t say what type of Vodka. It could of been like a UV Blue type of vodka which is nearly half the proof rating or normal vodka.

  51. guroth says:

    For those having trouble grasping how much 1 liter is in terms of alcohol:

    1 liter is 34 ounces
    a bar shot is 1.5 ounces

    So this guy slammed 22 shots of vodka.
    Even if half proof (regular vodka is about 80) this is a dangerous amount to pound.

  52. The HZA. says:

    It’s a legitimate strategy.

  53. Trai_Dep says:

    I totally would have done that.

  54. Trai_Dep says:

    (then puked on the TSA’s agents’ shoes)

  55. clocker says:

    If he’d been trying to carry his dog on board, I wonder…

  56. Trowble (XBL/PSN) says:

    Very ballsy. My hero.

  57. IrisMR says:

    Wow. What a retard.

    I have to say though, being able to chug that stuff… Takes lots of will power. Vodka’s BURNIN’ NASTY!

  58. trollkiller says:

    What?? the son of a bitch couldn’t share…..

  59. ElizabethD says:

    64 is the new 16.

  60. louisb3 says:

    @DrGirlfriend: Are you serious? There’s a reason drunk people are referred to as “intoxicated.”

  61. ldavis480 says:

    While being rolled away by the paramedics’ gurney it’s rumored that he was heard muttering “I told you I was hardk0re”.

  62. ginnylavender says:

    Actually, he just Looked 64. His ID said 34.

  63. BigNutty says:

    I love frugal people that love to save money.

  64. BeFrugalNotCheap says:

    I did the same thing on my way back from Rome, Italy back in may 2007. When I boarded the plane I had a can of pepsi. Security waved me thru. Back in Atlanta, GA the young lad at the terminal told me that I could’nt have the can. I explained ( in vain ) that I was allowed on the plane in rome. He shrugged his shoulders as I handed it over. As I was struggling to put my shoes back on I kept getting more and more pissed as I thought of this injustice. Besides, I KNEW the guy was going to drink it. So I marched back over and demanded my can back. Walked over a few feet and chugged that freaking can down in ONE SHOT. Threw the can away. Put my shoes back on and marched onto the next terminal. I was burping all the way back to TX but with a huge grin plastered on my face.

  65. reeg2 says:

    @vaxman:

    stupidest comment i’ve ever read. thanks.

  66. humorbot says:

    @BeFrugalNotCheap: Wow that’s… hardcore, dude. You’re joking right? The “injustice?” First ladies get the vote, now you can’t take your Pepsi Italia to Texas. When will it stop?

  67. shades_of_blue says:

    @warf0x0r: can you say Saturday Night Live skit?

  68. Jozef says:

    @BeFrugalNotCheap: I live in Atlanta, and whenever I get a direct connection from abroad I amuse myself trying to warn other passengers that the airport also checks all incoming passengers from international flights. I learned this lesson when I flew from London, carrying a bottle of Scotch I purchased in a duty free shop, which was promptly discovered and surrendered to TSA upon arrival. What really gets me, though, that Delta would happily sell you liquor from their airplane shop, even though they should know it wouldn’t make it past arrival security (at least that was the case the last time I flew directly to Atlanta, about a year ago – since then I prefer other airports and then a short domestic hop to Atlanta).

  69. econobiker says:

    Oh that sharp, sharp glass. The horror of it.

    Party ’til ya puke, grandpa!!!

  70. KJones says:

    The article doesn’t say if he left airport security or whether there are different levels of security for different airports. In this case, why would a domestic security check have higher standards for materials than an international flight coming in? Wouldn’t there be a greater risk with the flight originating in Egypt than from Germany itself?

    If he had left one secured area and entered a different one to switch flights, then I can understand them not letting him bring it on board. But if he had left the Egypt-to-Germany flight and was still on the secured side of customs, then the decision not to let him board is an idiotic one (although the man was the bigger idiot for drinking it like that).

    My advice if this happens to any reader: Keep your receipts and sue the Duty Free shops for not telling you it can’t be carried on. If you’ve already been through security, buy something duty free and are then told you can’t take it on board, the Duty Free shops should be held accountable. They work there, so they should know the rules and tell you.

  71. quagmire0 says:

    @thewolf – it’s funny because it’s true! :D

  72. zibby says:

    This is perfect – so long as he tossed the bottle over his shoulder when he was done, smashing it on the floor.

  73. bluesunburn says:

    In Soviet Union, vodka chugs you.

  74. So rather than pay a fee he decides to try to kill himself with alcohol. Way to go buddy. Sounds like someone’s trying out for the Darwin Awards.

  75. savvy999 says:

    If he was Russian, this would be just an eye-opener. Lightweight Germans.

  76. bbbici says:

    Pfshhht. he should have coated his stomach with some confiscated breast milk first.

  77. DrGirlfriend says:

    @louisb3: Toxic as in “a deadly or potentially fatal substance”. There is a difference between intoxication of the alcoholic kind and toxic substances that blow up planes. Good grief.

  78. BeFrugalNotCheap says:

    @humorbot:
    I know you would’ve done the same yourself. Especially after getting the smug arrogant look from the guy at the ATL airport. When I say “injustice” I am only being melodramatic. Besides, you have to ask yourself “what’s the logic of allowing the can into the airport in the first place? He KNEW it came off the plane with me…why not just let it pass thru?”
    Things have changed ALOT with international flights. I came back from amsterdam in 2001 with a bottle of absinthe bought in italy and not only did it get x-rayed in my bag but was never questioned nor scrutinized. Now you bring in a harmless can of pepsi and are at the mercy of some young ruffian who fancies themselves as King Salami. Injustice? I take that back. A sad sign of the times? That’s more like it. I pick my fights carefully…this one I could’nt walk away from and I dare say a majority of us here would’nt have.
    BTW, the vodka thing? Eh, I just would’ve paid the tax. I know the guy had his principles but god damn. A whole LITER?

  79. KyleOrton says:

    @theWolf: Yay me. I don’t even have to question why I don’t remember it

  80. RISwampyankee says:

    At least he proved beyond a reasonable doubt that he was *not* a muslim fundamentalist. Doesn’t that count for anything?

  81. wring says:

    @WhatsMyNameAgain: lol “I am BEOWULF!”

  82. vladthepaler says:

    Could he have just chugged all but 2 ounces of it and then brought the remaining 2 ounces on board? Or only if the bottle was in a ziplock bag?

  83. MYarms says:

    My hero!