Amazon Sends "Best Customer Service E-mail I've Ever Received"

Reader A. Hildebrandt writes:

On Black Friday, Amazon.com held a raffle of sorts. Essentially, they had several awesome items at insane prices, and people were randomly selected to get these details. One of these items was a really nice laptop, regularly $1000, discounted to $300 for 250 lucky people. I was not one of those lucky people. That didn’t stop me from winning in my own sort of way.

While these crazy sales were going on, quite a few people started donning tinfoil hats. Very, very few people got a shot at these details. So few, in fact, that people start wondering out loud if the prizes were being awarded at all. Finally, people started crying about how the prizes were _obviously_ being snatched up by Amazon employees, since their best friend totally voted and didn’t win anything. The forum was quickly flooded with angry customers demanding apologies, compensation… I think one person even was talking about a class action lawsuit. That’s what I love about the internet — low on rationality and high on hilarity.

I thought I’d add my voice to the party, in a post entitled “OH NO I DIDN’T WIN A LAPTOP.”

You can read Mr. Hildebrandt’s post as well as the replies it prompted, here. Sadly, his sarcasm did little to calm the conspiracy theories, so we rejoin our hero as he dashes over to Consumerist.com for Amazon’s Executive Customer service contact info…

By this point, I felt like it was important to escalate my complaint. After a little digging, I found the e-mail addressed for not just Amazon’s customer service, but Amazon’s _executive_ customer service. Just for kicks, I CC’d it to Amazon’s president, Jeff Bezos, as well. This is what I wrote:

Please escalate this e-mail accordingly.

Dear Jeffrey P. Bezos,

Good day.

Recently, I participated in the “Customers Vote” promotion on your website. There was one item in particular that caught my eye: The HP Pavilion TX1305US Notebook PC for the discounted price of $299. I was ecstatic at the prospect of receiving this notebook. I’ve been without a mobile computing platform since I graduated college this past spring (after four rigorous years of post-secondary education). I had planned on using this laptop to write epic novels while sipping mochas at my local Starbucks. Sadly, when the time came for winners to be announced, I was greeted by a cruel message: “We’re sorry. You weren’t randomly selected to be offered this deal.”

This has thrown my life into somewhat of a turmoil. I had greatly anticipated receiving this laptop, and doing so would have enabled me to not only pen epic novels, but win prestigious literary awards from various countries. Not being in possession of a laptop, I am instead forced to write with the humble pen and paper, a process that lacks both proper editing features and spell checking.

Since this traumatic event took place, I have taken solace on the Amazon web forum, where I found others who were in a similar predicament. Together, we were able to conclude that the reason we were unable to win the laptops is that the laptops were never available in the first place, but were instead given to Amazon employees. In a thread I started earlier today, eighteen people (thus far) have confirmed that they did not receive a laptop. Since two hundred and fifty laptops were “available”, it is practically a statistical impossibility that not one of us was given the offer. The only possible explanation is that these laptops were claimed by Amazon employees before they were ever available for sale.

Even so, I have used Amazon for years and would like to offer my continued patronage. In return, I would ask for the opportunity to purchase one of these laptops for the low price of $299 plus applicable shipping. I would even offer to extend my patronage beyond its normal constraints, writing “I wrote Amazon Executive Customer Service a cheeky e-mail and all I got was this AMAZING LAPTOP” with a Sharpie (as opposed to a generic-branded marker, which tends to bleed) on the upper lid of the laptop. Also, I would dedicate my first published novel to you, Jeff Bezos (though you may not be the sole dedication), for providing me with the means to create the world’s next great literary work.

Please take this offer into consideration. I eagerly look forward to your response.

A. Hildebrandt

e. (e-mail removed) p. (phone number removed)

Several days went by, and I thought my story had reached a conclusion. I was happy. It was fun. And I got to feed a couple trolls.

What happened next, though, took everything to the next level.

On November 30, three days after Black Friday, I received an e-mail from Autumn Walker of Amazon.com Executive Customer Relations.

Dear Mr. Hildebrandt,

Hello from Amazon.com.

My name is Autumn Walker of Amazon.com’s Executive Customer Relations. Jeff Bezos received your email and has asked me to reply on his behalf, taking any action necessary to assist you.

I understand and fully empathize with your desire to write epic novels using the “HP Pavilion TX1305US Notebook PC” offered in the “Amazon Customers Vote” promotion. I had similar hopes of producing my own work of greatness when I cast my vote.

Perhaps fortunately for the general public, neither I, nor any of my colleagues whom I was ready to beg from, won this round. (Come to think of it, I don’t think we won *any* rounds.) It is important, however, that your genius be heard.

I am unable to take one of the fully claimed and purchased laptops away from its winning owner to provide you with this deal, nor will we be discounting other $1000.00 items to the fire-sale price of $299.00 offered in our “Amazon Customers Vote” promotion. As I’m sure you are aware, promotions are for a limited time only and cannot be extended.

I share your wonder that neither you nor any of the other 18 bloggers participating in your thread did not win the “Out & About” round. As a matter of fact, I was quite vociferous in like-minded protest. Perhaps the response I received to my own objections may clear this matter up somewhat: when I stoutly declared that some member of my voluminous family should have statistically won something, I was reminded of a common thread in our “Customers Vote” forum which states buying a lottery ticket only marginally increases one’s chances of winning the lottery.

Take heart; Norman Mailer wrote all of his novels by hand. And you’ve surely heard the phrase, “the pen is mightier than the sword”? It would sound absurd to substitute “laptop” for the word “pen.”

In the meantime, since fate has conspired against me as well, I will continue the process of gathering material for my novel, (also known as staying employed.) This means that I will certainly be on hand to help you find exactly the right Sharpie should you wish to persevere in your brilliant endeavor. That is, until next year’s “Amazon Customers Vote” promotion…

Despite this setback, I eagerly await the publication of your novel, and can assure you that I will be among the earliest purchasers at the bookstore.

Here’s wishing you the best of luck in next year’s promotion!

Regards,

Autumn Walker Executive Customer Relations

Amazon, I love you.

(Photo:GlennFleishman)

Comments

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  1. visualbowler says:

    that is so great, I wish more places had a sense of humor

  2. JimiSlew says:

    I’ll cheer that response. Well written Ms. Walker!

  3. Dullspork says:

    That’s fantastic. It’s not often that you actually see a sense of humor come out of corporate correspondence.

  4. JustRunTheDamnBallBillick. says:

    They should have sent him a free sharpie, just in case he wins the next round.

    Kudos Ms. Walker.

  5. JRuiz47 says:

    FANTASTIC.

    Autumn Walker, I applaud you.

  6. meeroom says:

    Totally made me grin on a rather bummy afternoon. Go Ms. Walker. I knew I loved Amazon for a reason. Now if they’d only get me the Two Fat Ladies DVD collection in Region 1 encoding, I would be totally devoted.

  7. QuirkyRachel says:

    Awesome. I need to save this somewhere for when I next need a good laugh.

  8. emona says:

    Love it.

  9. wezelboy says:

    Heh heh. This reminds me of the Miller beer “shotgunning” letter.

  10. pengie says:

    Bravo, Amazon.

  11. parad0x360 says:

    lol thats a great reply. im glad they did reply but i must offer a warning. people keep on sending letters like this to executive customer service and sooner or later it will be manned by the same that currently handle regular customer service. let this be a diamond in the rough.

  12. youbastid says:

    Amazon.com – Proof that good service can indeed come both cheap and fast.

  13. thekicker says:

    Wow, I wish all customer support emails were written with such correct vocabulary and spelling. Most of the time, you feel like a 3rd grader is replying to you.

  14. Tank says:

    brilliant

  15. Me. says:

    Ah… witty banter. I love it when intelligent people collide!

  16. DrGirlfriend says:

    Awesome response, but I have to say the original letter made me laugh more!

  17. Spaniard says:

    Pure Hilarity!

  18. Hawk07 says:

    I’m surprised they didn’t send him a free sharpie or a sharpie and a writing pad. They could have just thrown a couple of office supplies in an envelope.

  19. crnk says:

    What a whiner… You didn’t get a laptop on sale for an amazing price, and now you’re upset and pretending to let it destroy your life?
    Not only are your thoughts of statistics flawed (that one of 18 gathered, some should have been selected), but fundamentally beyond reason. It is not “practically a statistical impossibility” as you say. I can’t find the numbers or a citation right now, but I took a gambling based statistics class that noted once in monte carlo, there has been a roulette roll of 30-ish consecutive color spins (as in all red or all black). Shocking as it may sound, a group did an analysis and found that the result fell in directly into the estimated probability of it actually happening based on the number of spins at the casino since it was built.

  20. crnk says:

    to add/restate my original post—i don’t see the humor involved and the original poster comes across as a sore loser. Sure, the response from amazon was nice and funny, but I totally miss the purpose of the original message sent to amazon, except to whine and hope to get something for nothing.

  21. ARPRINCE says:

    Nice read!

  22. Phildawg says:

    lol that’s awesome!

  23. JustAGuy2 says:

    @crnk:

    While all these things you state are true, at least the OP and Amazon understand this wonderful thing called, um, sarcasm. Please don’t tell me you really didn’t understand that this was a joke, and that the OP was in NO WAY claiming that he’d been wronged?

  24. llcooljabe says:

    @crnk:

    humor, meet CRNK,
    CRNK, meet humor

    I don’t know what you’re talking about. The original letter made me smile.

  25. BustedWheel says:

    In cas any one else was wondering

    vociferous

    vo·cif·er·ous
    1. crying out noisily; clamorous.
    2. characterized by or uttered with vociferation: a vociferous manner of expression

    You know that you all had to look it up too!

    Autumn Walker, will you marry me?

  26. overbysara says:

    wonderful!

  27. Sam2k says:

    This is why I love Amazon’s customer service. The only time I’ve called their customer support was for a mp3 download that didn’t download. I explained my situation to the CSR. He said, “So, basically you purchased a mp3, it didn’t download, and now you’re S.O.L. Cool, I can fix that.”

    Real people are such a refreshing alternative to drones. Still, I suspect that if Hildebrandt’s original email had even a shred of reality to it, the response would have been slightly less eloquent.

  28. Charles Star says:

    @crnk: Are you serious? I hate to be the one to burst the bubble but the poster was making fun of similar, but completely serious, threads on the Amazon forum.

    As for the Amazon response, the best part is I eagerly await the publication of your novel, and can assure you that I will be among the earliest purchasers at the bookstore.

  29. cde says:

    @Hawk07: I agree. The least that letter deserves is a sharpie, a pen, and a legal pad.

    @crnk: Lookup Sarcasm in a dictionary….

    Besides, he wasn’t looking to get something for nothing. He was trying to get a 1000 dollar laptop at the displayed price of 229 + shipping + “price of writing a funny letter to amuse anyone who has a sense of humor who read it”

  30. Kifune says:

    Those are hilarious. CRNK…time to get your sarcasm/humor meter calibrated.

  31. JPinCLE says:

    I’m sure CRNK is just being sarcastic, him/herself, right? Right? Oh.

    I’m a long-time Amazon customer and this just reminded me that I should continue to go to them first or second when seeking . . . just about everything!

  32. JPinCLE says:

    @charles star: good eye. I missed that. Ha!

  33. Ashground says:

    @crnk:

    Thank you for your interest in my e-mail. I would like to assure you that while I did not take any statistics classes during my illustrious post-secondary education, my e-mail was based on the reported findings of many forum members on Amazon.com. While this may not be as reputable as those found in, say, the New England Journal of Medicine, I believe this random sampling of forum members was more than qualified to make these claims. Funny that you are unable to cite your sources (“I can’t find the numbers or a citation right now”), while I am able to link to an entire forum of people who will confirm my findings (“OMG AMAZON IS HOARDING MAH LAPTOPS!!!”).

    I guess what I’m trying to say is, it’s okay to laugh sometimes.

  34. trujunglist says:

    Haha, that was great. I love writing totally sarcastic emails like this and seeing what kind of response I get. One time I applied to be on that show “Hell’s Kitchen” because my gf was watching it and I thought the guy was a joke and then I saw an ad for it on CL. So I wrote about how I can follow the back of a kraft dinner box with the best of them and that I had as of yet never burnt a bowl of cereal, and they wrote me back with a very enthusiastic response about why I should come to an audition and everything and actually harassed me for several days with phone calls as well. If you want to be on reality TV, take note; be as insane as possible, because it makes great television.

  35. Bladefist says:

    hilarious, but i still dont think jeff bezos read it. I’m not important and i just barely made it through.

  36. legotech says:

    @trujunglist: The way American TV portrays Gordon Ramsay he is a joke, the way he handles himself and runs his business is not. I’ve eaten in his place in London…the turnover at his restaurants is under 10% in an industry where the churn rate is generally measured with the same Fujita scale used to measure tornados.

    If you put together a kitchen full of morons and have them run a 4-6 hour dinner service, you’ll be sure to get 4-6 minutes of someone who is used to working with professionals (and some of the top people in the industry) blowing up at the morans out of it.

    In the UK Hells Kitchen was him taking a bunch of celebrities and making them into chefs…THAT would be so much more fun :)

    reg

  37. j-yo says:

    An outstanding response to a whiny complaint!

  38. humphrmi says:

    LOL that was great. Good job(s) Hildebrandt and Walker.

  39. christoj879 says:

    LOVE LOVE LOVE AMAZON (even if they sell vibrators with sharp edges)!!!!!!

  40. RamonaLittle says:

    Random story this reminded me of: years ago, I saw a magazine ad from some musical instrument company, that showed a drummer dissing his guitarist. This sort of irked me (being a guitarist), so I mailed the company a completely ridiculous/humorous (CRNK wouldn’t get it) rant of a guitarist dissing a drummer. I wasn’t expecting a reply, but apparently it amused some people in the company because they mailed me a free T-shirt! Which I gave to my drummer. :-)

    I don’t know about Amazon specifically, but I think in general a company whose employees have a sense of humor are going to do better in the long run.

  41. Smackdown says:

    @j-yo: Dude. The complaint wasn’t whiny, it was a joke. Which the responder understood, and replied in kind, thus warranting a posting by Consumerist. Which is the current website you are on. Which I thought I might point out because your reading comprehension seems to be a little, well, crappy.

  42. EatingSteak says:

    That is a clever response, but I declare that LAME. A customer takes so much time and effort to write a request like that, and puts all that ‘effort’ into doing a really, really good job of requesting, and they shoot it down?

    LAME. Tell me the company doesn’t have one extra model of that laptop that they can write off a sale price on a 251st laptop.

    Amazon has some other very questionable money-specific issues, such as claiming that they don’t validate purchases on mispriced items “due to the large number of items” they sell.

    How does the number of items they sell make them not responsible for their mistakes? And they can’t write off one more sale, and for a high-hit blogger no less? Giving him his laptop would net a huge amount of positive publicity, and for dirt cheap. Shame on Amazon.

  43. EtherealStrife says:

    It’s great that Amazon has a sense of humor, but come on. Customer service is slow enough as it is, we don’t need prank emails (and responding to these pranks) further delaying response times.

  44. elislider says:

    haha that was great. props

  45. spinachdip says:

    “Take heart; Norman Mailer wrote all of his novels by hand.”

    Yeah, but Norman Mailer’s dead. Is it just me or is Autumn Walker wishing death on A. Hildebrandt? What a cunt.

  46. AnnieGetYourFun says:

    Autumn Walker. Cute.

  47. junkmail says:

    Well played Ms.Walker, well played.

  48. DrGirlfriend says:

    @EtherealStrife: I odn’t think Autumn Walker of Jeff Bezos are the ones attending to customer complaints. I think response times are safe for now.

  49. rochec says:

    @crnk:

    Have you ever heard the term dimwit?

  50. cibbomatteo says:

    How about this,

    I sent an Email to Jeff Bezos in regards to them not including the Black Friday Wii extras I was supposed to receive with my Black Friday purchase.

    “”Dear Mr. Pautin,

    My name is Peg Anderson of Amazon.com’s Executive Customer
    Relations. I am writing in response to a complaint filed on your
    behalf by the Better Business Bureau (BBB) and your e-mail to Jeff
    Bezos. I am including agents of the BBB and Jeff’s office in this
    correspondence for their reference.

    I sympathize with your frustration. The information provided in our
    previous message regarding the Wii console offered during the Black
    Friday Sale states our policy at this time.

    I understand that you ordered your item from Amazon.com and not an
    Amazon.com merchant.

    For a brief window on Nov. 22 when the product was listed on our
    website as out-of-stock, the product description also included the
    extra items that you mention. However, we revised the product
    description when Amazon.com started to offer a different variation
    of the Wii for our Black Friday Sale.

    Some merchants on the Amazon.com website may still have had product
    descriptions that included the extra items, but again, these were
    referring to the merchant’s offering. The Wii that you received
    correctly matches the item sold by Amazon.com for our Black Friday
    Sale.

    I’m unable accommodate your request to ship the extra items or
    refund you, and unfortunately, I can’t offer any additional insight
    or action.

    We greatly appreciate your business and hope you’ll give us the
    opportunity to serve you again in the future. And of course, we do
    hope that you enjoy the Wii you received.

    Regards,

    Peg Anderson
    Executive Customer Relations”

    My Last name is Autin…. So, Someone else on the forum then posted the response they got from Executive Customer Relations

    Dear Mr. Pautin,

    My name is Brett O’Keefe of Amazon.com’s Executive Customer
    Relations. I am writing in response to a fax that was received by
    our Legal department.

    I sympathize with your frustration. The information provided in our
    previous message regarding the Wii console offered during the Black
    Friday Sale states our policy at this time.

    I understand that you ordered your item from Amazon.com and not an
    Amazon.com merchant.

    For a brief window on Nov. 22 when the product was listed on our
    website as out-of-stock, the product description also included the
    extra items that you mention. However, we revised the product
    description when Amazon.com started to offer a different variation
    of the Wii for our Black Friday Sale.

    Some merchants on the Amazon.com website may still have had product
    descriptions that included the extra items, but again, these were
    referring to the merchant’s offering. The Wii that you received
    correctly matches the item sold by Amazon.com for our Black Friday
    Sale.

    I’m unable accommodate your request to ship the extra items or
    refund you, and unfortunately, I can’t offer any additional insight
    or action.

    We greatly appreciate your business and hope you’ll give us the
    opportunity to serve you again in the future. And of course, we do
    hope that you enjoy the Wii you received.

    Regards,

    Brett M O’Keefe
    Executive Customer Relations
    Amazon.com
    [www.amazon.com]

    ……………………………LAME………………

    So I think all of their responses are prewritten they just copy and paste then change the Last name…. for more on this check out the forum on Amazon

  51. cibbomatteo says:

    forgot the link

    [www.amazon.com]

  52. ikes says:

    @cibbomatteo: mmmm so what? that email is clear and concise as to what happened. should they rewrite it for every person inquiring about the same issue?

  53. rjhiggins says:

    @cibbomatteo: I’m shocked to learn they would use copy and paste to respond to multiple customers with the exact same problem. Clearly they don’t care…

  54. spinachdip says:

    @rjhiggins: Seriously. When handling an issue that affects multiple customers, the least they could do learn a little bit about the customer and write a personalized letter, perhaps with a customized joke based on each customer’s purchase history. I mean, how dare they try to make the process efficient and try to get out a clear, concise message to as many affected customers as possible?

  55. Sam2k says:

    @spinachdip: What? Someone on Consumerist suggesting that a stranger should look at a customer’s private purchasing history?!

    @CIBBOMATTEO: Maybe they thought you hadn’t read it the first time…?

    @EATINGSTEAK: What kind of sense would it make for them to give a writer a greatly reduced in price laptop because they had written something clever. They would have then had to give the same deal to every other person requesting the same. That just wouldn’t have been good business sense. There may have been lots of good publicity, but there also would have been people requesting the deal. By the CSR taking the time to write a witty response, they’ve gained some good publicity and avoided having to give a lot of people cheap laptops.

  56. hubris says:

    Heh. This place cracks me up. Just as much for the curmudgeony people who get bent out of shape as for the people who then knock said curmudgeons down a peg.

  57. ben792x says:

    that is so awesome. fo real; amazon just gained some serious street cred with me. but wait; providing great customer service actually gets you better customers? what? when did this happen? because surely corporate america would have caught on. but instead they provide crappy customer service! its almost like they are idiots!

  58. mgomega says:

    People always say, “If it was my job, I would’ve [insert witty and/or morally uplifting remark here]”. Thank you, Autumn Walker, for being a real person and doing just that.

    Hildebrandt, you rock too!

  59. akalish says:

    LOL AWESOME. Amazon should give that employee a raise.

  60. JudgeIto says:

    “Autumn Walker” = the name of a song by Jets to Brazil. While I applaud the author’s humor, I don’t appreciate his use of anonyminity (sic).

  61. firefoxx66 says:

    My feet may be blocks of ice at the moment, but reading this warmed my heart. There is hope yet for consumers!

  62. zymase says:

    Everyone who applauds Autumn Walker, or decries her anonymity – I write so-called corporate correspondence for a living and I’m sure if the representative’s real name were attached, they would be looking for a new job.

  63. antialias02 says:

    @JudgeIto: Because everybody knows that if it’s the name of a song by an obscure band, it can’t be a person’s real name.

  64. nyyankees says:

    I thought the same thing last year.. I actually won a Nintendo Wii this year (seriously). Let me tell you how suprised I was. I was going to keep it, but they were going for so much money on eBay I couldn’t resist.

  65. b612markt says:

    Amazon rules. I’m sure Amazon is giving Autumn a pat on the back for this one. I sure like Amazon more after reading this.

  66. When you have a million customers (which even a small percentage is still a large amount) are you really going to want to personally write back a different reply to each person? If both people had the same problem with the Wii accessories, if the email is clear and precise on what needs to be said, why WOULD it be changed for someone else with the same problem? It is called saving time, and I figure that email was fairly clear enough regarding their policy about the Black Friday Wii Sale – We’ve learned to interpret copy/paste responses as uncaring/distant, but sometimes, they are going to do it because it is cost effective, and WHY NOT if the email is good enough. Sure it could handle a little more personalization but I don’t think they should be made out to be so horrible just because of that. I’ve always had a GREAT history with Amazon and Amazon Customer Service… Because anytime I have had a problem, It has been resolved.

    This guys email wasn’t about a problem, it was a joke. I understand that, however, it represents many others who surely have emailed amazon trying to get something for nothing. Theres a difference between getting what you deserve (if there were 250 of them and you weren’t part of the random selection, well, deal with it, its not Amazons fault, you aren’t entitled to the deal.) and getting more than what you deserve, or something for nothing.

    Bad customer service -> lost customers.
    Good customer service -> abusive customers.
    Sometimes even for the companies it seems like a lose-lose. We as consumers need to learn where the line is for asking for something.

    Though I am glad that Amazon has a sense of humor regarding the cheeky email, it was truly a well written waste of time, wasn’t it? And what if they had offered the laptop to him despite it being a joke? Sure thats great customer service, but really they should have no obligation no matter how well the email was written or how funny the customer is. I do commend them for their response however.

  67. ddhj says:

    ha.

  68. faust1200 says:

    You should definitely keep up the correspondence with Autumn at Amazon. Before you know it you will both have enough material to publish an entire collection of witty and highbrow zingers. This work would only be rivaled by such publications as the published correspondences between Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud, Einstein and Leibniz, etc. Respected minds around the world would enjoy this work with overpriced cheese and Cabernet and chortle in sanctimonious glee.

  69. bonzombiekitty says:

    I think you should send Autumn periodic “updates” of your novel.

  70. kellik says:

    I am an x amazon.com employee and I know autumn personally. She is one of the best this company has when it was comes to customer service and one of the sweetest and most all around great person i know.. you are lucky she got the email..

  71. kellik says:

    @zymase: we use our real names, if we gave a customer “fake” names that is when we would be looking for a new job. not the other way around.

  72. Chazon says:

    That response is priceless! I’ve had nothing but great service from Amazon. Speaking of, I’m sitting here now waiting for UPS for my new camera from Amazon :)

  73. dugn says:

    Autumn Winter is a real person. I confirmed it with with a friend who is an employee at Amazon.com. This letter and the link at Consumerist is doing the rounds at Amazon today.

  74. This actually made me grin from ear to ear. Here’s to great customer service!

  75. aduzik says:

    You know, given the humor and cleverness of her response, Ms. Walker might have a shot at that novel thing. I love companies with a sense of humor.

  76. kingofmars says:

    “Essentially, they had several awesome items at insane prices, and people were randomly selected to get these details.”

    Why does he keep saying ‘details.’ Wouldn’t it make more sense to call them deals?

  77. sliceofken says:

    Its too bad more corporations can’t have a good sense of humor like this. The fact that someone actually took the time to read the initial e-mail, and respond (however sarcastic that response may be) gives me an idea that Amazon actually cares about their customers. Great story!

  78. Apryl942 says:

    My job is answering high level complaints for a major corporation. Autumn exhibited a level of humor and sarcasm that I, sadly, am not allowed to enjoy, so I am living vicariously through her at this moment. Sadly, I am also very rarely the recipient of such a witty complaint. I will be giggling at work tomorrow thanks to this.

  79. Nakko says:

    There must be more of this. Not less. MORE! Damn you corporations, if you all start to seem… human… it will be harder for me to hate you!!

  80. BunnySkull says:

    I know the wonderful Autumn Walker personally. Her husband linked me to this story this morning and I assure all of you that not only is she a real person but she is just as sparkling, intelligent and funny in person as the letter would leave you to believe. I will tell you she is married and has a lovely baby daughter, so even though I’m sure she’s flattered by the proposals she won’t be able to accept. It’s not unsual for her to respond to funny well-written letters in-kind (it was far more common and acceptable in Amazon’s early days) and I’ve seen several examples of the more enteraining correspondence. I’m just glad some other people get the chance to enjoy it too. Cheers!

  81. Charred says:

    HUZZAH!

  82. SeattleGuy says:

    Well done! I think Autumn deserves a prize!

  83. William Mize says:

    Marry me Autumn Walker, you saucy minx, you!

  84. algormortis says:

    And that’s why we buy stuff from Amazon.
    You know other than the great service, the low prices (even if i’m gonna whine about the tax) the fast shipping, and the feeling that i am greaaing the palms of good little Seattleites.