If you were planning on getting a Talking Jesus Action Figure this Christmas (or whatever) you’re almost out of luck. Walmart has completely sold out of the toy and Target.com has “very limited supply,” according to the manufacturer’s spokesperson, Joshua Livingston.
“We feel blessed that the toys are now in the hands of thousands of children, teaching them the word of God. We knew that the toys would make great Christmas gifts, but to see them sell so well before the Christmas buying season begins proves that parents want alternatives in the toy aisle,” says Livingston.
It may also prove that goth kids still buy gag gifts, but we don’t want to hurt Mr. Livingston’s feelings or anything.
Talking Jesus nearly vanishes [Dallas Morning News]
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He’s still no Buddy Christ.
[jayandsilentbob.com]
That talking Jesus action looks like he should come with a Trans-Am and a rolled-up twenty dollar bill.
Um, action “figure.”
I wasn’t planning on getting one. But now with this shortage, I feel like I should. Anyone out there scalping these for profit? I might be interested.
They make Jesus action figures? When did this happen?!
@theWolf: Don’t forget a pack of Camels rolled up in his sleeve, and coming soon–trailer park activity set complete with singing bass!
@BloggyMcBlogBlog: Agreed. Dogma’s been out for about a decade, and yet the Buddy Christ statue still hasn’t caught on? We need action figures here people, statues and bobbleheads aren’t enough.
Jesus action figure ha!
Hey kids you ready for an action figure that doesn’t play by the rules! Well get ready for talking Jesus action figure! That’s right when push comes to shove Jesus will be there to talk the sinners down. Act now and get 3 vouchers for damning a scientist to hell for eternity!
Quick!!!!!
Before Garrett buys the rest!!!!!!
[consumerist.com]
Just let me know when Buddy Christ is for sale at my local Wal-Mart. I’ll jump right on that.
@Papa Midnight:
screw walmart, buy it from the man who made it:
[jayandsilentbob.com]
bonus: it comes “ready for action.”
I’ve seen those things… Creepy as HELL!
What about the Second Commandment?
I wonder how many of those kids actually wanted this for christmas?
If any, then it is probably those slightly odd kids everyone grew up with. (like the flanders kids)
God damn it.
Can it be programed to spout Huckabee crap?
Don’t forget to buy the Pedophile Priest w/ prepubescent alter boy.
Yeah I know I am going to hell, but since I am catholic i think i will just repent right before i die and all is good.
Doesn’t this look like Barry Gibb? I think if you switched out the clothes for a white suit, you could tap into a whole other market.
I already got one. My parents sent me a cellphone pic a few months ago. Made them pick it up. I now bring it to Poker games when I need to be obnoxious.
Oh man, and there is a gift exchange at work soon….
“For God so loved the Bee Gees (not to mention foreign outsourcing), that He granted the exclusive contract to create a false idol in Barry Gibb’s image to a Shanghai businessman (and Clinton campaign contributor), so that unstable Jesus freaks in Des Moines (who own guns at 9 years of age and worship Sid from Toy Story) could have hours of fun testing out their Eugenics “experiments.”
@Geekybiker:
dont give it to anyone from the middle-east … otherwise C.A.R.E will have you charged with a hate-crime.
I just can’t help but think that a Talking Muhammed Action Figure would probably start World War III.
@karlrove: Huh….I was gonna say false idols are in the 1st commandment, not the 2nd…but apparently different faiths group false idols differently into 1st/2nd…
[en.wikipedia.org]
You learn something new everyday…
@SacraBos: Because you made that joke, you just landed yourself and The Conusmerist on the top 100 most wanted list in 7 middle-eastern countries. I hope you will take better care in your flip remarks in the future.
@SacraBos: yes, but in the best way possible.
@Elviswasntmyhero: Looks more like Chuck Norris to me…
Search for it online – there’s also a talking Mary, David, Noah, and Moses. Oh my!
@forgottenpassword:
correction…. “C.A.I.R” [www.cair.com]
Kinda makes you want to go to Walmart and scream, “Who do I have to blow around here to get a talking Jesus action figure??!!”
I am Jack’s complete lack of surprise
That Jesus is MANtastic!
You know…. I just cannot WAIT until there are reports of this doll saying obscene things! Because you just know it WILL happen! A talking jesus doll would be the ultimate target for these type of pranks!
[www.mcphee.com]
So it’s okay to poke fun at Jesus and Catholic Priests, but… But really, I wasn’t trying to be funny per se, I really think there’s a lot of people that would go totally postal if you marketing it. I just like the irony of things like that.
@SacraBos: I think you’re confusing “different” and “ironic”. It’s like raaaaaaaain….
@spinachdip: Actually it’s more like that good advice…
Looks to me more like a Kenny Loggins action figure.
You sure he wont sing Highway to the Danger Zone when you make him talk?
God is an iron.
The midwest makes me sad…
Anyways, maybe if they made more then 12 of these things they wouldnt have sold out so quick?
Does this Jesus action figure come with kung fu grip?
OH…MY…GOD!
WHO WOULD BUY SUCH A STUPID PIECE OF CRAP???
i like the quote from whatshisface about this piece of plastic teaching kids the word of god. What a load of crap.
i can imagine this thing sitting in a living room somewhere, the walls covered in paneling, a couch with filthy pillows reading “god bless america” and a singing bass.
@SacraBos: [politicalhumor.about.com]
He’s no Messenger, but his name is probably Muhammed. All the little Jesus Campers can use their Jesus action figures to beat down the terrorists!
Won’t the kiddies be pissed when the doll disappears on Easter?
after i get tired of playing with my Christ, i will have him hold my Grand Theft Auto boxes!
The fact that Wal-Mart sells this just adds to the humor – cause, umm, pretty sure the son of God wouldn’t be loving their business practices and how they treat their employees. What do you want to bet the Golgotha action set will be the next hot seller?
@EthnicRedneck: Bbbbbbbut! Sam Walton was a Christian businessman! And really, that’s all that matters. It is not your deeds, but the labels you assign yourself.
@karlrove: “What about the second commandment?” I second that. It was my first thought as well.
@clocker: rotflmao you’re going to hell for that comment. I’ll be welcoming you for having laughed so hard. heh
He sure looks more Anglo-Saxon than Middle-Eastern and what a fabulous haircut and figure!