Talking Jesus Action Figure Sells Out At Walmart

If you were planning on getting a Talking Jesus Action Figure this Christmas (or whatever) you’re almost out of luck. Walmart has completely sold out of the toy and Target.com has “very limited supply,” according to the manufacturer’s spokesperson, Joshua Livingston.

“We feel blessed that the toys are now in the hands of thousands of children, teaching them the word of God. We knew that the toys would make great Christmas gifts, but to see them sell so well before the Christmas buying season begins proves that parents want alternatives in the toy aisle,” says Livingston.

It may also prove that goth kids still buy gag gifts, but we don’t want to hurt Mr. Livingston’s feelings or anything.

Talking Jesus nearly vanishes [Dallas Morning News]

Comments

  1. theblackdog says:

    @clocker: You owe me a new diet coke and a monitor for that comment.

  2. theblackdog says:

    I really bet that a lot of adults bought it just for the notoriety, and their kids will never be able to touch it.

  3. Does Jesus really need kung-fu grip?

  4. Trai_Dep says:

    @busydoingnothing: Of course. After all, he’s fighting those dirty, commie heathens in Iraq, Iran, Turkey, Lebanon and everywhere else that the NeoCons send him to say, “America – f*ck yeah!”

  5. Trai_Dep says:

    …Umm, despite the fact that our lil’ baby Jesus was – bless his subversive lil’ heart – a rag-head too.

  6. soundfx says:

    China appreciates your business. You are much easier to manipulate into buying the remade scraps from AK47 gun stocks than we thought. This is even easier than the “Support Our Troops” stickers that we made. We laughed about that one for months.

    BFF,

    China

  7. cde says:

    Hmm. I see an Operation GI Joe/Barbie switch relapse in the making. Switch the Jesus Voice Chip with like the Undertaker or Hulk or Randy the Macho Man Savage…. Or Barbie…

  8. SacraBos says:

    @ETHEREALSTRIFE Given that Muhammed is a common name, could be true!

    I do wonder what this talking Jesus says. The first thing it ought to say is “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” But the real money is in the accessories. The Last Supper Table would also be popular (other action figures sold separately).

  9. Trai_Dep says:

    I want the stigmata-gushing Action Crossâ„¢, myself.

  10. LAGirl says:

    @theWolf: hahahahaha!!!

    “That’s what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older and they stay the same age.”

  11. Elle Rayne says:

    What does he say, I wonder? Whatever it is, I’m sure the real Jesus is laughing his head off at this.

  12. whippsa says:

    ” BY KARLROVE AT 12/10/07 03:51 PM

    What about the Second Commandment? “

    Dear Karl,

    This isn’t a ‘graven’ image but rather ‘injection molded.’ I hope that helps to allay your concerns.

  13. Shizlak says:

    “If you were planning on getting a Talking Jesus Action Figure this Christmas (or whatever)”

    When you said “Christmas (or whatever)” were you referring to the other holidays that happen around the same time as Christmas? Do you think someone would be getting a Jesus doll for Hanukkah?

  14. Benstein says:

    I think the demand for these are not because people are exceptionally religious, it is because of the striking resemblance to Chuck Norris.

  15. Upsilon says:

    Because America apparently accepts and embraces “white Jesus”
    Which is why I don’t go to church any more…
    I’ll believe a dude walked on water, but I won’t believe that Jesus was some pasty white dude living in Jerusalem.

    (And before I’m banned for seeming racist, [I'm] Caucasian, guilty.)