Gift Idea: Porn Star's Old Breast Implants (Autographed)

Mary Carey recently had her crappy 36-D implants replaced with a more suitable set of all-weather steel belted 36-DDDs, and “while under anesthesia she realized [the old implants] could be used to raise money for breast cancer research.” Yes, anesthesia does crazy things like that, we hear. She’s auctioning them off on eBay (up to $210 as of noon today).

The autographed implants have been placed on eBay and Carey, whose real name is Mary Cook, said she planned to donate some 90 percent of the proceeds to the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation.

She intends to use the rest of the money on medical bills for her mother, who suffered major injuries after jumping off a four-story building in 2006.

“Porn star politician auctions breast implants” [Reuters]

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  1. darkened says:

    Well I guess no different than the Japanese Idols used panty vending machines in Japan

  2. I got my front teeth knocked out, and the Dr. wouldn’t let me keep them because they were “Medical Waste”, but the blonde beauty gets to keep her old boobs. That’s justice.

  3. ancientsociety says:

    Wow. That’s kinda disgusting…

    “She intends to use the rest of the money on medical bills for her mother, who suffered major injuries after jumping off a four-story building in 2006.”

    Was she trying to commit suicide?

  4. clocker says:

    I do most of my best thinking under anesthesia too.

  5. forgottenpassword says:

    Wait a minute…. she is spending money on upgrading her Ta-Tas instead of spending it on her mother’s medical bills? Anyone see anything wrong with that?

    However, I guess it could be argued that an “upgade” could be considered an investment in her career…. in other words, she could possibly make more $$ with bigger hooty-hoots to pay her mom’s medical bills.

  6. Jeff_McAwesome says:

    What kind of fucking idiot jumps off of a 4 story building? If you are trying to kill yourself there are certainly more surefire ways than that. Couldn’t she find a taller building anywhere? Why not swallow 7 bottles of Tylenol and then drink a gallon of moonshine? Turn the car on in the garage?

  7. UESC says:

    maybe there was a fire?

  8. boandmichele says:

    @Jeff_McAwesome: maybe she tried all those, and made it unscathed, because she is tough as nails. i mean, she must be. how many people do you know that survive a 4 story drop AND have a porn star for a daughter?

    :)

  9. Jeff_McAwesome says:

    @boandmichele: Perhaps. Perhaps birthing a pr0n star makes one like the Highlander. All I’m saying is why take a chance? I know that if I try to kill myself, it won’t be in a way that would cause excruciating pain if I failed.

    Oh, and Futurama is teh awesome.

  10. noquarter says:

    @Jeff_McAwesome: I think it’s the kind that has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

    Anyone else want to make fun of a probably-mentally-challenged, possibly-suicidal person? It’s good clean fun.

  11. jmschn says:

    sweet! new bolt-nos! upgrades!

  12. @Jeff_McAwesome:

    Perhaps. Perhaps birthing a pr0n star makes one like the Highlander.

    I just wanted to quote that so it would show up more prominently. Because it is awesome.

  13. mac-phisto says:

    hmm…methinks this would make an excellent addition to those christmas ebay commercials they’ve got running every 10 minutes. instead of the guy fishing a guitar out of a lake, they could show him reaching into her breasts & pulling them out. kinda like that scene from the temple of doom.

  14. cmdr.sass says:

    ewwwwww

  15. ironchef says:

    Good for her supporting Komen in her strange quirky way.

  16. Nemesis_Enforcer says:

    I actually met Mary Carey back when she was running for Gov. here in Ca. She was super nice and not in the fake schmarmy way that most politicians are. We actually talked about lots of things not just politics. And the best part is my wife and I have a pic of her letting us feel her up. Awesome!

  17. UnStatusTheQuo says:

    Pfft… no shipping insurance offered? Hehe that would be an interesting conversation at the post office.

    “Does this package contain any liquid, hazardous, fragile, or breakable materials?”

    “Yes, all of those. They are large breast implants, and I would like insurance on them please.”

    It would be an excellent photo op to see the look on the USPS employee’s face.

  18. remusrm says:

    is she really 27? since my 89 yr old grandma looks better and has better skin…

  19. Elviswasntmyhero says:

    George W. can relax.

    It’s now clear why “they” hate us.

  20. Craig says:

    This article is like the verbal equivalent of “how many things can you find wrong in this picture?”

  21. tcolberg says:

    @remusrm: If your grandmother looks better than a highly paid porn star, you must of had a very weird childhood…

  22. levenhopper says:

    I think that it being listed on the Consumerist has increased the bidding frequency…

    Oh I love the Consumerist’s readers…

    Any chance of getting a follow up post on how the bidding ended?

  23. levenhopper says:

    AND WAIT!!! Even though her mom has breast cancer she wants to use the money for her mom’s plastic surgury to heal the jump wounds?

    How about using the money to treat her mom’s breast cancer???

  24. Hoss says:

    Seems to violate a few eBay policies including the sale of used medical devices and the policy on charitible listings. Surely one of the lawyer readers can tell us what Federal laws are also violated.

  25. m4ximusprim3 says:

    @levenhopper: Do you want her looking like crap in at her own funeral? Come on now man, have some decency!

    Also, I hope having a pr0nstar makes you the highlander. The two things this world needs more of are hot nekkid chicks and people with swords zipping in and out of our dimension.

  26. AshleyStIves says:

    One more time, people. The number refers to the circumference around the ribcage. The letter refers to the cup (or in this case, implant, I guess) size. So, more correctly, she’s auctioning off some crappy Ds to buy some triple Ds.

  27. no.no.notorious says:

    didn’t she get the memo?

    boobs = out
    ass = in

  28. IrisMR says:

    $2,550.00… Gosh.

  29. msgotrox says:

    @no.no.notorious:

    Guess she should have gone green and had the old ones repurposed for her butt.

    Reduce. Reuse. Recycle.

  30. levenhopper says:

    $15,000 now