This Boneless Spiral Ham Is "Delicious For Chanukah"

This photo, and a few others of similar signs on similar hams, was taken at Balducci’s on 8th Ave. at 14th Street, on Sunday, 12/2 by NancyKay Shapiro. She’s attributed the signs to the “Department of Monumental Cluelessness, Well-Meaning Division.”

Whoops.

Let’s all eat trafe for Chanukah! [NancyKay Shapiro's LJ] (Thanks, Alex!)

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  1. MMM haaam… well maybe you can invite some non Jewish friends for dinner and feed it to them! :D

  2. SaveMeJeebus says:

    Mmmmm… forbidden Gentile ham…

  3. Skiffer says:

    Could be worse…it could be Eucharist Wafers…

  4. Buran says:

    Would someone please explain the problem for those of us who aren’t religious, or just aren’t Jewish?

  5. theWolf says:

    It complements the Ramadan Pork nicely.

  6. JEmmerth says:

    Actually, as someone who lives with a Jew and works for Jews, let me be the first to puncture your attempted sarcasm by informing you that many, MANY jews do not keep kosher, even for their holy days.

  7. Beerad says:

    Well, to be fair, I know plenty of Jews who observe Hannukah but don’t keep kosher. Still, I don’t know if they’re planning on serving swine.

  8. Chongo says:

    Every Xmas my family and I (big jews) get together and eat a big ham (no spiral crap, bone in orange glazed!) and make fun of our fellow jews.

    not kidding

  9. Half Beast says:

    Oy Veh!

  10. ARP says:

    BURAN- orthodox Jews do not eat pig (FYI- neither to Muslims). Old Testament (which is part of Torah).

    As an analogy: For Catholics it would be a picture of ground beef and the sign would say, “Great for Fridays during Lent”

    A Jewish buddy of mine said it best, “A gentle loving God wants to be happy so he wants me to eat bacon.”

  11. *shrug* My husband is Muslim and I was raised Jewish. We’re not Orthodox and certainly not Kosher/Halal, but neither of us eat swine.

  12. Chongo says:

    @Buran: Pork is never Kosher (as far as I know). For more detailed information, watch Pulp Fiction

  13. DeeJayQueue says:

    Vince Vega: “Bacon tastes good… pork chops taste good…”

    Jules Winfield: “Sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie but I’ll never know cause I’ll never eat the filthy mothafucka.”

  14. nweaver says:

    Well, theres always those like my friend…

    “During passover, I keep to my normal diet but with the additional passover restrictions”

    “So that’s a bacon cheeseburger on Matza?”

    “yeup”

  15. stavs says:

    $8.99 per lb? Thats awfully spendy.

  16. hexychick says:

    Last I checked (and it’s been a while since hebrew school so I’m rusty), Hanukkah is all about the miracle of the oil burning for 8 days so traditionally you cook all your foods in oil or eat fried items. Ham doesn’t fall into this category nor is it kosher. Hanukkah is more about those delightful latkes anyway! We also used to enjoy brisket and little puffed honey donut things. If you’re totally reform, not kosher, and don’t care about tradition then sure, this is a great idea. Otherwise, I find it mildly insulting, but mostly it’s just a stupidity leak.

  17. timmus says:

    I can see this happening in Missouri or Oregon — but right in New York City?

  18. csdiego says:

    Oof, what’s next, Diwali Burgers?

  19. WhoMee says:

    “oy gevalt” (A yiddish term meaning “Oh goodness!” An expression of utmost anxiety or shock).

    This just shows that marketing departments really do not have a clue.

  20. B1663R says:

    a jewish buddy of mine refers to pork and pork related products as “jew poison”

    i killed myself laughing when he said that!

  21. protest says:

    @Chongo:

    you just made my day. happy Hanukkah.

  22. ret3 says:

    @hexychick: Howzabout some BBQ pork rinds then?

  23. Jaysyn was banned for: http://consumerist.com/5032912/the-subprime-meltdown-will-be-nothing-compared-to-the-prime-meltdown#c7042646 says:

    A hebrew I grew up with used to stash Bac-O’s under her bed. I kid you not.

  24. skittlbrau says:

    My fiancee refers to himself as “second generation bacon.”

    I’m still pretty sure you’re not going to find a HAM on the Hanukkah table.

  25. AD8BC says:

    Are orthodox Jew’s allowed to be ham radio operators?

  26. Nemesis_Enforcer says:

    Well it still IS delicious Hanukkah or not. I mean it doesen’t say only jews eat ham or anything. I used the gift card my Jewish boss gave me on thanksgiving to buy a ham..is that wrong?

  27. pyloff says:

    My understanding of the old testiment was that you couldn’t eat anything that chews cud and cloven hoof something or other. Along with all sorts of birds and seafood.

    14:8 And the swine, because it divideth the hoof, yet cheweth not the
    cud, it is unclean unto you: ye shall not eat of their flesh, nor
    touch their dead carcase.

  28. loganmo says:

    @Jaysyn: Bacos are actually Kosher-they are made out of soy and contain no meat products or flavor.

  29. Erskine says:

    @Jaysyn: Ain’t no MEAT, let alone bacon, in Bac-O’s…

  30. malarkey21 says:

    This is a real dilema for Jews. On one hand, it’s not kosher, but on the other hand, it’s a great deal.

  31. Myron says:

    About 15 years ago a local grocery store was running and add for, I kid you not, Passover ham. I wish I saved that gem. This store is located in a city in upstate New York, across the street from a synagogue.

  32. KJones says:

    It’s slightly unrelated….

    A few years ago in Montreal, the Quebec government got uppity about special products imported for hannukah (or whatever the jewish holiday was). The products had English-only labels which was a no-no in Quebec where everything must be labelled 50/50 French/English (or more than 50% French).

    This happened despite the fact that nearly all the jews in Montreal only speak English, and not French….

  33. @pyloff: Doesn’t chew cud. Otherwise beef wouldn’t be kosher.
    Seafood has to have scales to be kosher (salmon yes, shellfish no).
    I can’t remember the rule for birds but I think it has to do with the feet.

    @Nemesis_Enforcer: The problem is that the sign says “Delicious for Chanukah” not just delicious. Someone like Buran (well before someone answered the question) might buy this for a Hannukah party or for someone they know is Jewish.

    It’s just silly to target advertising for a product or service at a group of people who can’t or won’t use it. It’d be like Comcast sending salespeople just to Amish people’s houses or Burger King ads for the Whopper targeted at Hindu people.

  34. arby says:

    @jemmerth: FWIW, Chanukah is a holiday/festival, but it’s not considered a “holy day” for Jews.

  35. macinjosh says:

    Yeah, the ham is traditionally served when you’re partying on Yom Kippur.

  36. arby says:

    @Rectilinear Propagation: The basic rules: mammals have to both chew their cud and have hooves cloven in two; birds cannot be birds of prey or scavengers; fish must have both scales and fins; and reptiles, amphibians, and invertebrates are never kosher.

  37. ARP says:

    ARBY- you’re right, its actually considered a “minor” holiday but gets a lot more hype because of its proximity to X-mas.

  38. Maulleigh says:

    OMG I am LOLling out loud right now!!!

  39. pyloff says:

    @ RECTILINEAR PROPAGATION I thought it was FINS! Tadow.

  40. legotech says:

    There was a place near Boston that advertised Pork Ribs as perfect for Passover.

  41. Myron says:

    This might only be funny to the Jews in the room, but I love this joke:

    G-d: And remember Moses, in the laws of keeping Kosher, never cook a calf in its mother’s milk. It is cruel.
    Moses: Ohhhhhh! So you are saying we should never eat milk and meat together.

    G-d: No, what I’m saying is, never cook a calf in its mother’s milk.
    Moses: Oh, Lord forgive my ignorance! What you are really saying is we should wait six hours after eating meat to eat milk so the two are not in our stomachs.

    G-d: No, Moses, what I’m saying is, never cook a calf in it’s mother’s milk!!!
    Moses: Oh, Lord! Please don’t strike me down for my stupidity! What you mean is we should have a separate set of dishes for milk and a separate set for meat and if we make a mistake we have to bury that dish outside…

    G-d: Moses, do whatever you want….

  42. pyloff says:

    I’m quietly doing my non believer dance.

  43. Chryss says:

    I think I just found the image for my Hannukah cards next year.

  44. @pyloff: It’s both, arby is right.

    I’m not sure why I thought the bird rule had something to do with feet but then I don’t eat a bird other than chicken so it’s not like I’ve ever had to use it.

  45. @Rectilinear Propagation: I can’t figure why this showed up under Arby’s post instead of Pyloff’s.

  46. Sam says:

    Should probably provide a city for this story…

  47. Greasy Thumb Guzik says:

    @loganmo:
    Soy & tons of salt.
    Watch your blood pressure after eating them!

  48. aishel says:

    Ok, to clarify some things (I’m an Orthodox Jew):

    With mammals, the animal has to have both fully split hooves AND chew its cud (i.e. deer, sheep, cows, etc.) Pigs have split hooves but do not chew their cud and is therefore NOT kosher. Camels chew their cud but do not have fully split hooves and are therefore NOT kosher.

    With fish, it has to have both fins and scales. Shellfish don’t have either, so they’re not kosher. Sharks have fins but no scales, so they’re not kosher.

    Birds are kosher on a case-by-case basis, as the Torah (Old Testament) specifically lists which birds are not kosher.

    Any other questions?

  49. Nakko says:

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

  50. biblio26 says:

    @Myron: This is great!

  51. Toast442 says:

    I swear that when I was a kid I saw an ad for a Piggly Wiggly supermarket where the little pig mascot had a Star of David on its hat and was wishing everyone a happy Hanukkah.

  52. spinachdip says:

    @Sam: Oh, don’t be silly. If it is noteworthy, any reasonable person assumes it is in New York City. On the rare occasion that something actually happens outside the five boroughs (well, just Manhattan really), then the location should be noted.

  53. Grrrrrrr, now with two buns made of bacon. says:

    Mmmmm..Krusty Brand pork products…..

  54. Well, there are a few Balducci’s and a few Jews here in DC too.

  55. sburnap42 says:

    I vaguely remember some fast-food chain offering a new line of bagel-based breakfast sandwiches. You could get them with bacon, ham or canadian bacon.

  56. Buran says:

    @arby: It’s illegal to eat (or kill, or possess, without a license — yes, you can get a license for that) birds of prey under the Endangered Species Act and the Migratory Bird Treaty Act and some raptors are further protected specifically under other laws.

  57. Tank says:

    sometimes the jokes just write themselves…

  58. Buran says:

    @aishel: Yeah. I’m not being insulting here, because I honestly just don’t know, but who came up with that crazy list of nonsensical qualifications? I can’t see any consistency.

  59. cde says:

    @stavs: That’s the biggest insult. What orthodox jew is going to spend 9 bucks, let alone retail, for ham? It’s unheard of!

    @hexychick: Pork Rinds and Chitlins (Fried pork snout), fried and non-kosher.

    @DSaddict: Aptly enough, I started snort-laughing when I read that :D

    @pyloff: [www.godhatesshrimp.com]

    @aishel: Actually, Sharks do have scales. Just super fine ones. You can cut yourself running your hand the wrong way on a shark.

    @Toast442: You mean like Chikafi’s? The anti-cow-eating chicken fast food place that has cows with eat chikn signs? :D

  60. cde says:

    @Buran: GOD did. Who’s going to argue with God and his silly list?!

    @Buran: Hawks and falcons taste like Chicken *Yum*

  61. Pink Puppet says:

    @Buran: I wouldn’t go so far as to say crazy and nonsensical. It’s about respect and reverence for G-d that we follow kashrut.

  62. yg17 says:

    @Buran: Some morons who lived thousands of years ago. Other crazy laws too….dairy and meat can’t come near each other. I don’t even think they can be on the plate, much less the same food. Some crazy laws that make absolutely no sense to me whatsoever….and I’m Jewish. I’m glad my family doesn’t follow them. I like my cheeseburgers

  63. @Buran: Food restrictions rarely “make sense” — food restrictions are about marking out an in-group and an out-group by adherence to the restrictions. They’ve very much about identifying oneself culturally with a particular group; they sometimes have some practical purpose as well (for example, most of the mammals that aren’t Kosher in the Jewish food system are scavengers or carrion eaters, and therefore somewhat more likely to make you ill), but their primary purpose is always group identification. So they don’t have to “make sense.”

    There’s been a big debate in American Catholicism over the last few years about Lenten Fridays, when Catholics are forbidden from meat but allowed fish. The religious inspiration for Fish Fridays is to eat what Jesus ate, which was what the poor in his time ate, which was fish. But in much of the U.S., the poor eat McBurgers and fish are a luxury. So while the religious logic of the situation would suggest we eat either the food of the local poor or a vegetarian meal (in solidarity with the global poor), the logic of group identification holds very strongly to the Fish Fridays idea, regardless of the fact that “Fish-as-solidarity-with-poor” has little meaning today. It has a LOT of meaning in terms of a group identifier, and that may, in the end, simply be more important.

  64. wring says:

    maybe it’s made of baloney.

  65. kimsama says:

    @Eyebrows McGee: Right on, yo.

    There’s also the old but interesting Cows, Pigs, Wars and Witches, which explains in some detail the possible causes for dietary restrictions in a number of cultures.

  66. no.no.notorious says:

    is that for real? was that photo-shopped there?

  67. trollkiller says:

    @cde: chit·ter·lings also chit·lins or chit·lings (chÄ­t’lÄ­nz)
    pl.n.
    The small intestines of pigs, especially when cooked and eaten as food.

  68. @spinachdip: Hahaha! Seriously, what city?

  69. kc2idf says:

    @ad8bc:
    Yes. You can be a ham, but can’t eat one.

    Our ARA is having a ham dinner for the holidays. I told our prez it’ll make us a bunch of cannibals.

    73.

  70. kc2idf says:

    @Erskine:

    Ain’t no MEAT, let alone bacon, in Bac-O’s…

    …for which this vegetarian is very grateful.

  71. SpenceMan01 says:

    @Nemesis_Enforcer: Yes. You should’ve bought a TURKEY for Thanksgiving; not a ham.

  72. hexychick says:

    @cde: and @ret3: I’m not kosher but I don’t eat pork and frankly, pork rinds and chitlins are revolting.

  73. vanilla-fro says:

    @Toast442: of course he would, he knows that he is safe for that one.

  74. vanilla-fro says:

    @Eyebrows McGee: Maybe in places where there is no water that anything can live in the poor don’t eat fish, but I would think that any food item you can catch with a net would certainly be up for grabs for the poor.

  75. iaintgoingthere says:

    I just realized that Jews and Muslims have one thing in common, they both hate swine.

    Maybe we can use this common hatred to start the peace process back on track.

    PEACE ON EARTH..DA DE DA DA da

  76. iaintgoingthere says:

    WE HATE PORK SO LETS FORK OUT A PEACE DEAL.

  77. Nemesis_Enforcer says:

    @SpenceMan01: I already had a Turkey marinating in a nice brine when I got the card. SO I got a Ham my sister in law is super weird. She doesen’t like turkey or beef but will eat hamburger and loves pork…mmmm bacon. Of course the smell of seafood , any kind of seafood makes her sick.

  78. morydd says:

    Actually, when you look at a culture that is primarily nomadic, and has no access to refridgeration (you know people in the middle east when these rules were written) the rules for kosher and halal food preparation make quite a bit of sense. As much sense as using a seperate cutting boards for meat, and keeping food stored below 40 or above 140 F does now.

  79. truebluegeeks says:

    haha funny!

  80. sartoman says:

    A catholic priest and a rabbi are on a train.

    The priest turns to the rabbi and says “Rabbi, can I ask you a personal question?”

    The rabbi says “Ask. Perhaps I’ll answer.”

    The priest asks “Rabbi, have you ever had ham?”

    The rabbi turns red and says “I had it once.”

    The priest says “Did you like it?”

    The rabbi says “It was ok”

    Later on, the rabbi turns to the priest and says “Father can I ask you a personal question?”

    The priest says “Rabbi, you were kind enough to answer my question, I will gladly do the same.”

    The rabbi says “Father, have you ever had sex?”

    The priest turns red and says “I had it once.”

    The rabbi says “It’s better than ham, isn’t it?”

  81. edwardso says:

    @kimsama: I love Marvin Harris, there is also a chapter on pork taboo in Good to eat

  82. MrEvil says:

    All this effort to be politically correct now has us over-doing it by putting “Great for Chanukah on pork products.

    Just like I’m pissed off at TomTom’s GPS ad where this couple is stuck in traffic and the woman goes into a store alongside the road to buy a TomTom and gets back in the car and says “consider it an early holiday gift.”

    Holiday gift? WTF? Does anybody this year say that they’re giving their loved-ones a holiday gift? I consider myself a whacky agnostic, but this “must be PC in december” business just pisses me off.

  83. rdm24 says:

    @arby:
    Except for eels, catfish and swordfish, which have scales, but they are tiny, so someone decided that they don’t count.

    It’s based on rules, not science.

  84. rdm24 says:

    @Myron: You made my day.

  85. rdm24 says:

    @MrEvil: Ya know, I really never understood why people got so incensed by the word “holiday”. I feel like these delusions of persecution are echos of the “throw ‘em to the lion” days.

  86. famboozled says:

    First there is this:

    Leviticus 11:9-12 says:
    9 These shall ye eat of all that are in the waters: whatsoever hath fins and scales in the waters, in the seas, and in the rivers, them shall ye eat.
    10 And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you:
    11 They shall be even an abomination unto you; ye shall not eat of their flesh, but ye shall have their carcases in abomination.
    12 Whatsoever hath no fins nor scales in the waters, that shall be an abomination unto you.

    Deuteronomy 14:9-10 says:
    9 These ye shall eat of all that are in the waters: all that have fins and scales shall ye eat:
    10 And whatsoever hath not fins and scales ye may not eat; it is unclean unto you.

    But then again there is this:
    [skepticsannotatedbible.com]

  87. LeJerque says:

    The 11th plague visited upon Egypt was inadequate glaze.

  88. @MrEvil: How is it politically correct to suggest that non-kosher food would be great for a Jewish holiday? I would think it’d be politically incorrect to bring a ham to a Hanukkah party.

    The GPS ad is an AD. They are marketing to everyone so of course they’re not going to get specific with the holiday. Television ads aren’t trying to mimic real life, they’re trying to get you to buy their stuff.

  89. Hirayuki says:

    @sburnap42: Yes, and? Jewish people aren’t the only ones who eat bagels. This Catholic has been an avid bagel fan since she was a little girl, and I live a good forty minutes from the Jewish part of town.